Ecksbawks reprise
October 8, 2012
12:00 am
Spent the weekend in Vegas, I wonder how many Chippendales had ambitions of being UFC fighters then decided getting punched in the face a lot wasn’t all that appealing after they finished all that bulking up.
Commander probably only has any consoles at all so his kids can play Spongebob or watch netflix or whatever it is toddlers do with XBoxes.
Gonna point people over to the Oozengard kickstarter while I’m here, it’s a super cute little mobile zombie game, and it has my house in it! that means if it gets made you can go loot my family’s stuff or build a secret base in our living room or whatever it is you do with houses in the game!
Look how crazy cute that is, it has our house lizard and everything.
I want to know what games the commander is playing
Solitaire as interpreted from memory by someone who doesn’t play solitaire.
He’s playing that on a laptop.. meaning touchpad.. while wearing thick gloves. But it IS the future so of course all clothes are conductive.. >_>
You DO know that it’s probably a touch-sensitive touchpad, and not a heat-sensitive touchpad, right?
You DO know that there is no such thing as a touch-sensitive laptop touchpad, and that heat-sensitive laptop touchpads aren’t made nearly as often nowadays, and that Wandererbluefox was most likely using the word “conductive” to refer to electricity and not thermal conductivity, because all *useful* touchpads in the world utilize surface capacitance of the things that “touch” them because that is the way to achieve optimal precision, right?
RIGHT?
No, I didn’t think so.
You know that there are such things as resistive touchpads, right? And that resistive touchpads are actually far more precise than capacitive touchpads, right? You also know that you probably use those resistive touchpads on a regular basis, right?
Any time you sign for a package from UPS or FedEx, any time you scribble your signature on the screen at a store register, and any time you play a Nintendo DS(regardless of version) you’re using a resistive touchscreen. Up until recently pretty much anything that you ever used with a stylus was a resistive touchscreen. Cell phones, PDAs, etc, all used them for a long time. Even the first tablet PCs used them.
You do know this is a work of fiction, and therefore not real, and can contain whatever tech it wants to, right?
Dear all four of you: You do realise that any comment of the form “You do realise X, right?” makes you sound like a condescending asshole, right?
You don’t actually believe they give a damn, do you?
I do realize that you speak the truth about their insensitivity.
… … … … …
… … … … …
… … … … …
… See, stupidity like this thread is why I went and sat on a frozen mountain for ten years.
Also, you can play Solitaire using just the arrow keys and spacebar. Lowtech solution!
The Commander doesn’t use a mouse. A good gun is the *original* point-and-click device.
Dude, given name is Commander Badass, I tend to simply shrug it off stuff like this from people like that.
Um… Didn’t the Commander give Jared an Xbox as a gift?
Warhammer 40K: Space Marines?
I believe the proper plural is XBoxen.
Two XBoxen of achievements.
Oh god, Jared in the last panel. Fantastic.
Oh god. Troll-face Jared.
I do believe that is actually the “Y U No…” face. Still awesome.
It’s the Xbox kid face.
I’m mildly upset that nobody recognized it on their own
In my defense, it was the hands which made me think of y u no.
Xbox kid?
Here’s a PSA for you and anyone else who doesn’t recognize it: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/xbox-360-kid
Not gonna lie, it looks more like http://memegenerator.net/Y-U-No because of the hands, and no one would think of the xbox 360 kid face in context because that face is supposed to be *happy*. Even if it just kind of looks like the kid’s a douchecanoe.
http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/164 uses the same face for jared and even has the little christmas scroll behind him, just like http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/xbox-360-kid
Of all the appendages I’ve seen “douche” grow, I think canoe is now my favorite…
It shall join the likes of twatwaffle and bitchmageddon.
Commander as the Xbox kid in the future? :D
indeed…
I wonder if Commander BA. plays Skyrim, or dare I say it…
MINECRAFT?! That-would-be-SOOOOOOOOOO-KICK-ASS!!!!!!!!!!
ugh, the Yu-Gi-Oh manga is frickin’ HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!
I cant believe I even tried to read it…..
*shudders at the thought of Yugi’s older version*
I would kill a man for a higer resolution rendition of Jared in the last panel.
http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/164
Close enough!
Props for remembering that.
oh neat, this one has color too!
…It’s at times like this where I miss “Classic” commander. ;_;
He doesn’t have that frownyface anymore… Holy crap, why is this the first time I’ve noticed?
And I just noticed he doesn’t have his usual cigar…
did i miss something?!?
D={
I think during this period he was still in the “trying to set fire to women with his mind” phase. Jared warmed his heart and now he’s dating a butcher so less reasons to frown.
http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/576
I don’t play a great deal of Xbox, but I understood that displaying your (correctly attributed) achievements was what having your own gamertag was about…
/probably missing a point somewhere
Delightful expressions in this, especially Jared’s Xbox Kid face.
I don’t get the joke either. I’m assuming there’s something I’m missing in gamer culture.
Ok, I get the joke now. Xbox kid.
Yup, now I’m old and out of touch. First it was not getting ID’d for beer, now I have no idea what’s going on in video games. Next stop, pants crapping, can’t leave anything off the table.
yeah i missed the joke initially too. I’m familiar with xbox kid but totally missed it before reading the comments.
The Commander only has one XBox. If he let Jared know about it, before he had given Jared the other XBox, then Jared would have taken over his and not let the Commander play on it. It’s not about gamertags; it’s about sharing the one machine.
That last panel’s gonna look awesome once you get around to colouring in all the rainbows and explosions in the background.
My thoughts exactly.
im glad you made your house accessible for disabled zombies.
Well, I mean technically we made it accessible for my mother…
You should add a drawbridge to protected her from able bodied and disabled zombies.
And to truly be a hit with your neighbors, don’t forget to install the petrol-filled ditch with optional automatic starter. Bonus points if you have an animatronic pony that breathes flames as an auto-starter.
Amateur level: playing solitaire with the mouse.
Pro level: playing solitaire with the numberpad.
You can play with the numberpad?!
I see you have not made the professional ranks as yet.
Unfortunately, they took that functionality out as of Vista, so that user may not actually be able to achieve pro level.
Did Senor Badass shave?
WHAT’S COMMANDERS NAMETAG I WILL SO ADD HIM RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOLY SHIT I NEED TO PLAY WITH HIM
I love your house lizard. I want a house lizard. Any ideas how to convince my landlord to let me have one?
An adorable pest repellent! I love it!
Also: Jared, the point of video games is to have fun and forget your troubles for a while! Just play, dude! (That or play against infants so you can win more often… <..>)
SHOW THEM ONLINE
Best meme 2009.
…..but wait
he’s from THE FUTUREEEEE
wouldn’t he have crazy awesome video games from THE FUTUREEEEEEEE?
Only problem is that they wouldn’t be compatible with our primitive gaming systems.
He could have the cool ones from the times between now and the time the Xbox 720 comes out.
I heard the XBox 1080 is the best though.
Nah that one got swamped in the market by the superrobotjaguarhawkstation 4.
Couldn’t he have let Jared use it with a separate profile, or am I underestimating the convenience of the XBox 360?
Yes, but then Jared would have been over at his house all the time and refusing to get off the XBox, so the Commander could use it. It’s a physical issue; not a profile issue.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHH!!! the commander has a sense of humor!
Dammit, I had to use a Continue… last panel killed me
Wait a minute… was Commander’s last comment supposed to be a stab at what Jared said when applied to the agency?
Pretty much, also an old meme
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/xbox-360-kid
Commander is the best father replacement figure ever.
And we don’t even know what Jared’s old father looked like
Who gives a shit?!
Commander would be the best dad in like,
FOR-FRICKING-EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>mfw no one gets commander’s joke ‘..it’s showing everyone online I did’
>mfw no one gets xbox kid reference in the last panel
I did >_>
I’ve no life and a friend once gave me the tittle I carry with pride: an encyclopedia of useless information
“My friends are playing on Kanto Time or way better than me…”
Am I reading this wrong? I think there may be a word missing?
Is this one of them young hip and with it people things that people say? (yes you all make me feel old although I probably am not that old)
Jared is from Kanto, it’s where Pokemon red/blue take place. Like having friends you keep missing because they’re on New York time or UK time or Australia time.
I also took it as a joke that, since it’s Kanto time, all his friends who are better than him are asian.
that last panel priceless.
You know, Jared reminds me so much of my friend, I can’t help but voice him in my friends voice. Seriously! They both love Pokemon and video games, they’re both just a little weird, they even look the same! (Beanie cap, long, messy hair, stubbly chin, kinda skinny, etc.)
The only difference is that my friend has a girlfriend.
Note to coelasquid: If you give Jared a girlfriend that’s as kooky and fun as he is, I’m going to find you and stop your sick little game of stalking my friend.
He does have some kind of online girlfriend
I’m talking about a girlfriend that he has actual face-to-face encounters with.
Aw, our little Jared is still the same.
ahaha he used the same comment jared did about his Xbox when he took the job XD
Jared’s face in the last panel is sooooo~ PRICELESS XDDDDDDDDDD
Ohey, my house is gonna be in OOzenguard too! Keep an eye out for a 2 1/2 story red house with a porch and one of those bay windows on the front! And keep outta the fridge!
I want Commander’s boots. And Jacket. I’ll dress up in them and be your Chippendale. A commander badass Chippendale.
I figured Commander for a PS3 guy, myself. I can see him watching blu-ray. Hard time seeing him playing Halo or CoD.
Y’know, I didn’t know about the xbox kid face. I DID, however, remember Jared making that face waaaaaaaaay back in the beginning.
Memory Achievement: 1 star
Okay, now I’m wondering what he’s doing in that last panel. Is he making a “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-” face or is that something else? The background is confusing me! XD
Now that it’s colored, I’m requesting last panel as my profile cover
The Commander didn’t mention it till now, because he didn’t want Jared at his home at all hours.
Oooh! Now i get it.
Thank you for the help!
Glad I could be of service.
Dude. Thank you for pointing me toward the Oozengard Kickstarter. And then doing it again. I bumped my contribution up to $50. Get made, little guy, get made.
I don’t know why, but Commander using that tiny laptop keeps making me smile.
hey where’s the color on that comic with the girl’s jeans a few comics back?
Here you go. Compliments of Maggiekarp.
It’s beautiful. *tear*
You should have a section in extras where fans color all the uncolored comics and you pic your favorite.
BEHOLD! THE HOLY PANTS!
I know it’s them because of the golden aura!
Glorious, glorious color! This is twice as much fun as I found an Xbox 360 at a Goodwill store yesterday for fifteen bucks. Yoink!
question for ya coelasquid! i know you’ve used the xb360 kid reference with Jared before; i was just wondering – was that particular kid was actually a reference you had in mind when creating Jared in the first place?
nah, I just think it’s a funny face. Jared is some amalgamation of my brother and a couple of his best friends.
Commander Badass SHOULD be playing Spec Ops: The Line. He needs a little lesson in philosophy. :P
Suspense.
I find it odd that no one has commented on the fact that Jared–JARED, of all people–has just had a window in his life where he was less than enthusiastic about video games. If you’ve ever put the controller down and done other things in the meantime not because you couldn’t play, but because you didn’t want to, then imagine–IMAGINE, I say–what Jared might be doing in his spare time now that his thoughts are not immediately on games. Sure, he’ll probably fall back into his habit eventually when something game-related motivates him again, but imagine all the productive things Jared could be doing with an XBox-free mind. It’s… scary.
Well he did try and give Mr. Fish power armour that one time…
I–
Suddenly the Commander somehow got even hotter.
Same.
The one home system I don’t have, the 360… mostly because I have a PC, a Wii, and PS3 right next to each other (I love having a tv as a second monitor).
hey, he is doing that thing with the laptop! the 1 leg raised 1 leg holding the laptop while you lean backwards and use the laptop with one hand…
that utterly impossible pose that they always use in laptop commercials but never in real life.
Oh yea, and they don’t call them laptops anymore due to liability since they are too hot to safely use on your lap (cooking your nuts)
sounds kinda christmassy; like roasting chestnuts on an open wire….
is that a pink pig on Jared’s shirt?
That’s probably kirby.
@Squid: It took me a moment to familiarize to the joke at the end. Good show lol
I think it’s a jigglypuff actually.
It’s Kirby.
The kid’s doin’ that thing again… that thing I wanna punch him for.