05/24/2010
May 24, 2010
12:00 am
The cookies thing was funny and all, but if memory serves even the Dragon Age writers think fans make way the hell too big a deal out of it. I think the predominant sentiment people express whenever I post pictures of Sten is that I should have drawn him with more baked goods.
Start of another kinda ongoing storyline, by tha wey.
Discussion (115) ¬
I love the use of audience superiority in the last two frames :P
Just as Hitchcock himself intended Dragon Age fanstuff to be written, I’m sure.
I lol’d.
Hahaha, awesome.
Another story?! Do tell. Does it have fairy’s and pony’s and anything Axecop related?
I’m afraid my imagination just can’t measure up to that of a five year old’s. There will be Duke Nukems and Pyramid Heads and Canadians and maybe even a girl, though.
A GIIIIIIRL?! In a manly comic like this?! But girls have cooties!
Girls also write this, I believe. WILDTASTIC
*monocle pop* I say!
*Crumpet drop*
My word!
*tea-sipping stop*
Preposterous!
*Top Hat Falls*
Dear me!
*Ale drop*
Wait… wot?
bollocks!
Marmalade!
PIES R BETTAH THAN COOKIES
Wow. Moment ruined in a single comment. Thanks.
*holds up the Epic Jar*
Git up sum in there.
C-C-C-Combo Breaker!!!
*Face palm*
I love this thread, so much.
I’m gonna read this thread next time I’m in a bad mood!
Face palm X2 COMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
X3
Pyramid Heeeeeaaaaad! Erm… although I think his presence makes the story an automatic 18 rating, regardless of actual content…
Eh, so does the presence of Tobacco these days, it seems, and Commander smokes like a chimney.
Yeah, I know it’s nitpicking, so feel free to ignore me, but with Commander smoking so many cigars, you’d think he’d know to use either a butane lighter or matches. Zippos and oil lighters leave a residue on the cigar that ruins the flavor, unless he actually likes the taste of lighter fluid, which is kinda badass in its own way.
Hellboy didn’t know about it until that bureaucrat guy told him, the one that has serious heartburn cuzza Hellboy’s antics
Pyramid Head!!!
Wooooooo!!!!
Woohoo, bring on the Duke!
I kind of surprised that in an office staffed solely by ludicrously macho dudes, this is the first fist fight we’ve seen. Surprised and thrilled.
This made me realise I haven’t played Dragon Age yet. So I went out and bought it. I can’t wait for it to finish installing :3
Is it fun?
It’s some cross between “solo D&D” and “dating sim with swords”.
That is probably the most correct description I have ever heard of the game.
Seconded. The logic makes sense to me since, that’s the only dating D&D is going to get you.
Now, now! I know of a married couple that met playing D&D, and I think they are even differently gendered…
And the greatest.
The combat system is also a watered-down version of World of Warcraft. I feel it’s prudent to throw that in.
There’s a meme out there that most comics (particularly New Yorker ones) still work if you replace the last bit of dialogue with “Christ, what an asshole.” I like that it fits perfectly in this one (replace “What the hell, Sten?”), as well as around half the of the prior comics (worth another readthrough of what’s up so far)
Really it works either direction you read that panel.
“…I’m never doing anything nice for you ever. Christ, what an asshole.”
“What the hell, Sten? Christ, what an asshole.”
Thank you for yet another awesome comic, Coelasquid. I think this one would have been ever better without the last panel though!
It ties it into the page that’s coming next week, it’s not a self-contained joke.
Schooled.
Though I didn’t get the reference, nice job on this one. The last panel’s word bubble positioning threw me a little, but maybe that’s because I read a lot of right-to-left manga. Don’t be afraid to cover up a leg or two if you meant for the upper right side to be read last. Hope you bring Snake or capt. Falcon back later though. I’ll be reading!
I considered it, but then I figured it doesn’t really matter what order you read them in, he’s just yelling things while he tries to not have his face punched.
Also true. Nice art style, by the way.
Yeah it’s kind of like the Oreos thing with Martian Manhunter.
It’s a funny gag, but not to be overused.
Hey, just wanted to say I fucking love your comics. My roommate and I check each day to see if there are new ones out yet. Thanks for all the awesome you provide and keep up the good work.
Anyone care to explain the cookie reference to me? I don’t remember any mention of that in DA…
If you have him on your party when you try to cross to the circle tower, he bribes the Templar the the docks with them. If you ask where he got them from he says he “relieved” a fat kid in the last town of them.
There’s another dialogue tree that comes up if you have him on your good side where you ask him if there’s anything at all he likes about Ferelden and he’s like “what are those crumbly things like bread but sweeter?” or something like that you get like +15 approval from the conversation.
Dialogue: (When entering the Circle Tower for the first time.)
* Warden: “Can’t we work something out?”
* Carroll: “Hmm… I don’t know. Y’know, I am feeling a little peckish, though.
* Warden: “There must be food at the tower lets go.”
* Sten: “Parshaara! Here! Munch on these if you like.”
* Carroll: “Ooh, cookies!”
* Sten: “I am content to part with them if it saves us from this fool.”
* Warden: “Where’d you get those?”
* Sten: “There was a child–a fat, slovenly thing–in the last village we passed. I relieved him of these confections. He did not need anymore.”
* Warden: “You stole cookies from a child?”
* Sten: *dead serious* “For his own good.”
This is a greek tragedy in the making.
Okay, maybe not so much greek.
Hahaha yeah poor Sten, kittens and cookies ARE starting to get overused. At least Anders took the kitten joke off him by Ser Pounce-a-lot.
LOVES IT
You should so definitel bring that Agent from Deus Ex in, what’s his name again….blast! It escapes me
JC Denton I believe you’re thinking of.
Also, excellent comic, keep up the good work Coelasquid!
Actually to correct myself it’s probably Gunther Hermann The OTHER one was thinking of as JC is customisable and thus difficult to interpret in a comic or any art form.
I can’ even remember. He was in Deus Ex 2, though Denton sounds familiar…I may be thinking of Arthur Dent lol
I’m going to venture a guess here. Maybe you’re thinking of Agent Gunther Hermann? The mech-aug with the heavy German accent who’s paranoid, friends with Agent Anna Navarre, and a terrible speller?
Yeah, the cookies thing is kind of overused. There are other facets to his personality, people, jeez.
For example, he also likes kittens.
I would assume the Commander could take a porcelain platter to the face better than that….. I guess he’s a lot less badass than I initially thought.
it was just unexpected
Exactly. He’s not perfect, you can catch him off guard.
And besides, Sten is a big guy. I can believe that he could beat the Commander in a fight.
Also, shouldn’t the platter have shattered on impact?
One’a them ceramic ones that can take a bullet.
So even the platters are manly.
In the hands of Sten ANYTHING can be a lethal weapon.
You should make Jared’s Pokémon adventure into a seperate comic. That would be fucking awesome.
Jared started as his own separate entity, but he never got a comic because there just wasn’t enough substance for him to make a lasting story on his own. He turned into a one-trick-pony pretty fast.
But his one Trick is Mr. Fish.
Just wait until Mr.,Fish learns Hyperbeam…
Sten Uses Twohanded Strike! It’s Super Effective.
What? No, Jared’s trick is expository character. Just like in the last comic, he’s the clueless idiot who the Commander needs to explain things to. He just happens to have Mr Fish for it.
You should totally have him introduce Bruno from the Elite 4. Hell yeah, a man who fights Onixes with his bare hands.
When I saw Captain Falcon I was thrilled. But then I noticed it’s just a cameo :(
I second the guy that said “Hope you bring Cpt. Falcon and Snake back”.
I totally was hoping to see Cap. Falcon since I discovered the comic! :D
Even if it’s still a cameo I’m really happy!
How could anyone fail to acknowledge all of his extreme manliness, even with that extra-tight purple suit, Very Fashionable Scarf and bright yellow buttons that are totally strategically placed to look like nipples?
…
I rest my case.
XD
With the Knee of Justice and the Falcon Punch, my friend, even Peach could be manly.
Once again great comic quick question though, who’s the guy in the second panel? To me he looks like Frank West but really Frank looks similar to tons of characters in movies and games.
One of the Doomguy incarnations.
Thes r teh behst cowmic ebur! I leik et becauwse it has teh cookehs and fisht.
Stop that.
Maek meh! *punched square in the face* Okay okay.
Snake does strike me as a guy who would rip on someone like that. And I think we can dub you the undisputed queen of disgruntled facial expressions, because Sten (as well as other characters you’ve drawn) has some epic frowning going on.
FROWNING SO HARD does seem to be my specialty.
They frown so hard their mouth forms an ‘M’
It is the ultimate scowl.
Yknow I have to say those are probably the manliest cookies ever. I think panel eight is my favorite panel in this entire page. Commander almost looks harmless.
I agree with most of the comments I’ve seen on most of the comics that have been posted so far.
I stumbled upon this comic like two or three weeks ago, and it has quickly become one of my favorites. So far, consistently funny, which is more than I can say about 98.625% of all the webcomics, the number being rounded to the up to the nearest hundredth.
Good job, keep it coming, and I’ll keep reading.
I love the comic! Don’t let the morons get you down.
Nice.
Yeah dont see the big deal that Sten has a sweet tooth its kinda normal.
If you miss idear you could use Bruce Banner(The Hulk) in somekind of customer support situation or do the characters have to be from video games?
Punisher’s already shown up.
Oh right forgot about him, just remembered that i had a few Punisher video game some years back before i knew about the comicbooks
Seconding the Hulk as tech support. I’ve even got some hellish IT stories for you if you’re interested, stupid people should -not- own any sort of electronic device. That includes digital watches, even of the non-programmable type.
I second this idea. Banner gets pissed off until he hulks out, bursts through the wall and leaps off into the distance, saying he has to make an on-site tech support call. TO HIS FACE
lol lol
cookies? really?
also – the cookie monster is no more :( it was replaced with the veggie monster. (what the hell, sesame street!?)
lol this is hilarious. keep up the good work!
Veggie monster is a lie. He’s still cookie monster, but now he eats other things. His motto is now “Cookies are a sometimes food”.
> “Cookies are a sometimes food”
Are large styrofoam letters and other Muppets also a sometimes food? Because Cookie Monster’s not Cookie Monster unless he’s showing at least occasional unrestrained gluttony on inedible and/or animate objects.
(Seriously, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKPtOMwV0aU . Classic.)
Cookies are never “a sometimes food” as the new management states… I’m sure that the real cookie monster is out there… devouring cookies and plotting his return. I’m not sure how to get rid of the ghola that they’ve got replacing him.
fantastic artwork and humour :)
The LOLcat was funny. The classic horrible and redundant grammar is kicked to a whole new level.
I saw some of your dA artwork and one of Jared’s adventures pop up on Halolz, and I loved the art styles, and i knew I had to track it to the source, and I was not disappointed. Your facial expressions are bloody hilarious and detailed. I look forward to more!
So…outta curiousity, since NBC cancelled Heroes, what’s the likelihood Sylar is gonna show up looking for a job here? :P
I just wanted to say that I absolutely *LOVE* this cartoon. This strip is amazing, but I rank this strip right up there with xkcd and Penny Arcade as places I go to EVERY time it refreshes. Thanks for the hilarious strips! :)
Could you make your comic less hilarious? snorting out salad though you nose hurts.
…or I could stop eating while reading this.
The fact that every time I see Snake’s speech bubbles in any comic, David Hayter’s voice automatically reads them in my head, made panel three so amazingly hilarious…
The disgust on Sten’s face in frame 6 is delicious.
Who’s the guy in the second panel with Sten?
PSX Doomguy
More Solid Snake please : D
If I ever get into a fight over baked goods I will bludgeon the other person with a tray now.
Someone who loves Dragon Age as much as I do. There can be only one. Prepare for battle.
*casts Blood Wound, then conjures inferno on you while Morrigan summons a Tempest, meanwhile Zevran marks you for death and backstabs at you, and Sten moves to pommel strike*
D: What, can’t he smoke and eat at the same time?
I don’t know why, but whenever I think about the cookie mouse I have to laugh.
In retrospect, that Snake is creepy as hell.
Just out of curiosity, how long did it take Sten to learn about computers?
Oh. My. God.
Who knows how many things you’ve posted in this comic, and this one’s the best of them. I literally fell out of my chair the first time I read this, and I can’t even think of a single panel of this one without impersonating a drowning goat through laughter.
FOR INCONGRUITY!
FOR CLASHING COLORS!
FOR UNEXPECTED VIOLENCE!
FOR BEING IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME!
What’s more, it gets even funnier if you imagine the cookies turning in Matrix slow-mo. :3
I get where these guys are coming from. Once an emotionless living tank who swings a 6-foot sword for a living reveals that he likes cookies, there’s not much to do other than make fun of him. And then run. Run far, far away.