Jet clearly has no idea what gin is.
December 14, 2015
1:05 am
I hope your insurance can cover that, Spider.
Also because people have been asking and since Platinum Black is kind of on a standstill while I work one of the craziest storyboarding jobs of my career so I need more stuff for patreon, I’ve been putting up some bonus sketchy comics at the $1+ tier. Mostly about Tank, some other stuff, comics that are more serious in tone than what I like to post on this website in the weekly updates, also answering questions there for people who have them. Patreon’s kinda becoming my wedding fund, don’t feel obligated to chip in at all but there are some hopefully entertaining little bonuses for you if you do.
The velociraptor necks in the third panel, oh my god.
mine.
mine. mine.
I cannot unsee it! YES!!
Meanwhile I’m enjoying Tank getting his
buttself handed to him when I’m suddenly confused by the disintegrating ceiling. Now I don’t know what to think.I think they ended up outside and came back in THROUGH the ceiling.
Correction: Rereading the last page, angel opened the door but never actually went inside. Otherwise my statment stands.
Tank happens to be one of the few people that can get disemboweled & have his own guts handed to him…Without it being fatal. Just insert Plug A back into Socket B & voila! Good as new!
Wouldn’t that be plug A into socket A? Unless you mean to cross it over like that to screw something up, or just for gits and shiggles/just to see what would happen.
I think Commander is about to make his return. Probably with a celebratory keg over his shoulder.
Now THAT made me giggle aloud for realsies.
Kickstarter idea: make fatbird raptor plushies that pop their head up like that when you squish them, and coo and wok and broo when you poke them.
Yanno, sounds like a pain in the ass, we should just try to genetically engineer them… what could go wrong?
I’ve never bothered with merch before, but I.. I think I’d buy that.
I’ll take three!
I’d have one of each!
They are so freaking cute! I would really like to see some raptor wallpaper.
I’m guessing that the commander could have done something similar but he is a mellow nice guy
I’m not so sure, I don’t think the commander has outstanding hand to hand skills compared to the rest of his unit. I means sure he’s a superhuman badass, but so is is everone else. Among his peers I think he’s the guy they look to for non combat stuff, like making preserves or talking somone down.
I’m not so sure-I agree with the ‘probably not outstanding hand-to-hand in comparison to Angel/Tank’ portion, but I don’t think that takes him down to ‘He’s just a diplomat’ level. He is, if nothing else, pragmatic. Both in preventing a fight (Walking into the water where Tank can’t follow) and in the middle of one. (Stabbing Miyamoto with his incredibly sharp glasses.)
…Commander would probably have sicced him on Spider somehow, now that I think of it. Spider could probably lock his cybernetic components down fast, and that’d be that.
Though yeah, if Spider wasn’t an option, he probably would’ve done the same as Angel. ‘I’m jus’ disconnecting these wires so you can think about what you’ve done without rippin’ my head off, Tank. Think of it as Extreme Time-out.’
I think he likely has great HtH skills, but he’s also not as slippery and agile as Angel, and probably a worse matchup for Tank.
I kinda get the impression that fight wise, Spider, Tank, Angel, and Commander are the big guns, with their own advantages. Cate opted out of cyborg boxing last comic and that’s probably most of the rest.
I’m guessing they probably have a kind of rock-paper-scissors going on.
We know Commander is tough enough to take a serious beating and keep dealing damage himself. Remember that time when he “damaged valuable government property” to save his comrades?
However, the beatings that Tank delivers are likely far beyond “serious”. More than what Commander is willing to take.
Now Angel, she’s fast. Too fast for Tank, clearly. He just can’t land a hit on her. But maybe Commander is fast enough to prevent an immediate takedown. And if she can’t finish it in one move, it becomes an endurance fight. And endurance is where Commander wins…
Well, this is all just speculation anyway :D In the end, the specifics of their fighting abilities are never clearly defined. And it’s certainly not their most important aspect.
I will happily accept this answer. Commander is practically endurance personified, after all. (That said, I feel like he would still outmaneuver or outthink Tank, unless there was a sucker punch involved.)
He did outmaneuver/outthink Tank. Twice. Once by having the high-ground (staying up in the tree fort instead of coming down to tank’s level). And then again by walking into the ocean because Tank can’t swim.
Yeah, and when he was in the tree fort Commander even said that if Tank tried to climb up he would “run out of angry and give up” so that seems to confirm the “Tank isn’t built for endurance” bit of the Commander has Endurance/Angel has Agility/Tank has Strenght theory. Also Tank “swim like a minivan” it’s probably because he’s heavy with all the cybord parts but swimming also require lots of endurance so I’d say it’s another point in favor of this theory.
no no no, it’s a Rock, Tank, Angel relationship haven’t you been paying attention? Tank beats Rock, Angel Scissors Tank…
Angel scissors Tank? I think I’ve seen that porn vid…
Nah I think commander could take him. It wouldn’t be easy but he knows tank well enough to abuse his weaknesses. But I doubt he could take him as easily as angel did and he would probably break 1 or 4 ribs in the fight.
It’d be like batman fighting bane
plus this issue doesn’t involve Rock, it’s between Tank and Angel so they are the ones who needed to fight it out so anything Rock did wouldn’t have actually solved anything.
and I think the commander’s wise enough to have understood that.
He was originally the lovable fat guy, before the constant space viking incidents. The lovable fat guy is terrible at traditional combat, but is great and talking to people.
I dunno, most of the lovable fat guys I’ve known who’re trained at actual combat are terrifying when they move. Bulk doesn’t necessarily mean they’re slow, but it DOES mean they hit like a freight train and shrug off hits that’d stagger others.
Tank’s got a priceless “oh shit” look in that last panel. Also, love how Ace and Jet are just chilling together. Which reminds me, how do they tell which team technically won? Do they have cameras so that they can catch things like Ace’s Liquid Snake moment, and then end up voting on who was the most rad?
My guess is they’d do a top gear style tally at the end.
That being: completely arbitrary, with the guys themselves writing down the scores, and one of them (the team in the lead) somehow ending up with 0 points
This sounds about right.
Especially if Jones gets a say in the points process.
Generic Spacefuture Survival Contest
The event where everything is made up and the points don’t matter. That’s right, the points are like ketchup being solid when still and fluid when moving.
*Waves small American flag for this reference*
I would say that this is all based on style points. Which means that you don’t have to do a score. Everybody knows who won.
My siblings have a game, and I suspect something similar happens here. The winning team is the one that makes everyone else say “ep*c”.
When your psycho cyborg half brother destroys your hotel whilst fighting with your adopted family. Them feels Spider, we’re all here for you.
Is that an Auntie Mame reference? Or did I have a strange childhood?
Actually it kinda is, high five.
Woohoo!
I deeply appreciate the nonviolent approach with Ace and Jet. Ace literally took away his chubby raptor army in the best way ever and they’re just like “let’s have a drink” ^^
Meanwhile, Angel makes a great point about Rock here.
Isn’t ‘Bruised Gin’ just altered from being shaken? Like, the taste is altered slightly by bubbles or something?
I wouldn’t know, I drink Rye.
It’s a subtle Bond delivery. Bruised gin is usually made when it’s shaken, not stirred.
Tank: Spider Halp
Spider: You were being a dickhead so suck it up
Complete with a Top Gun reference.
I’m imagining Thank’s voice as sounding like Killbane from Saints Row. https://youtu.be/to20hYiCoHQ
Does Spider only address Ace by his official name?
I think it’s just how mechanical she’s feeling at the time – some days she’ll say “Ace”, others she’ll spout off his serial number.
Bond wanted his martini shaken because the bartender was using potato vodka, which is oily. If Ace is serving his brother a potato martini, he has no business being uppity about it.
If Jet can’t tell the difference between gin and potato vodka, bruised or not probably doesn’t matter.
To be fair, if all Jet had ever had was some bad or bland Gin, I could understand him mistaking it for Vodka.
‘Bland gin’ just does not compute.
Granted, I’ve not had absolutely basement-level vodka, so it’s possible there can be vodka that has that ginny tone to it, but…
The shittier the vodka, the more like a cleaning product is tastes. It is possible that one has gin tones, but is would have to be a fucking terrible vodka being compared to an even worse gin.
Bottom of the barrel vodka is not OK. It is vomit in a bottle.
I’ve got two Polish second cousins I see about every year, both named Igor. Both make their own vodka. One is absolutely fantastic, the other tastes like diesel and burns hot enough to melt steel beams.
The second vodka is, as you said, not OK.
Bond might also have been placing an order that makes for a slightly watered-down martini so he could drink enough that, to an observer, he seems like he ought to be drunk, while still retaining some of his faculties. He gets to sound snooty and particular, when really, he’s just working on a good cover.
To be fair a proper Vesper has gin and vodka in it.
“A dry martini,” [Bond] said. “One. In a deep champagne goblet.”
“Oui, monsieur.”
“Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon’s [Gin], one of vodka, half a measure of Kina
Lillet.
Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?”
“Certainly, monsieur.” The barman seemed pleased with the idea.
“Gosh, that’s certainly a drink,” said Leiter.
Bond laughed. “When I’m…er…concentrating,” he explained, “I never have more than
one drink before dinner. But I do like that one to be large and very strong and very cold
and very well-made. I hate small portions of anything, particularly when they taste bad.
This drink’s my own invention. I’m going to patent it when I can think of a good name.”
If there is one thing I could believe that piece of outdated views bloated with liquor, tobacco, and melancholy Ian Fleming on it’s the right way to make a drink.
Also they took the quinine out in ’86 but damn what they call Lilet Blanc today is delicious. Quinine though is also delicious.
“When I’m…er…concentrating,” he explained, “I never have more than
one drink before dinner.”
Heh, I’d forgotten that bit. I think Fleming forgot about it too, because just a few books later Bond regularly drinks very heavily while on the clock.
Guess there’s a reason Angel isn’t concerned about being snuck up on by surprisingly stealthy titanium bull mooses… moosen… meese… moosii?
Just moose. Plural moose is moose. Singular moose is moose. No matter what, moose is/are moose.
Wait, I thought the plural of moose was Canucks, is Tank a Canadian?
>headcannon loaded: headcanon accepted
This makes sense with what I have heard about moose, doesn’t matter how many moose there are, it’s moose, angry moose wanders into campground full of people, it’s just moose then too. lol
It kind of makes me wonder how the fight between Angel and Spider would have gone down.
I’d put money on Spider. With her augs I’d bet she’s stronger and tougher than any of them except Tank while still being mobile and flexible in 3 dimensions with has built-in weaponry. Plus she has more to prove than any of them except Tank and that counts for a lot. I’d say Spider could probably take any of the super-soldiers except maybe Tank, and Tank can take any of them in a straight fight except the agility/speed specc’d ones.
“Plus she has more to prove than any of them”
How so?
She was support for Tank and then had her whole body chopped off and replaced so that she could operate solo. That says she has issues to me.
#velociraptors #chickennuggets #wine tumblers #DisembowlmentOfRedWires #TheyAreStillInSuits #TheFifthPanelWithoutTextLooksDirty #OhWaitItStillLooksDirtyWithTheText #onomatopoeia #NoShadows #TankIsGoingSuperSaiyanInPanelFive
I had more to put but I didnt feel like it needed more tags.
Is this where we can demand requests of the artist? Because I have a request to demand.
The request is to have this internets hug and have an awesome December and eeeee. Also you may distribute the internets hug among the raptors if you don’t like internets hugs.
Please get on this request straight away right now for free thank you.
kinda wish the RSS didn’t alert me until the coloring was finished. this kind of dilutes the enjoyment, I’ve found.
#DamnYouRSSFeed
You could always just check in on Fridays if you don’t want to see pre-color pages. They’re usually done by then.
Hey Ace, don’t be unfair to your bro. You’re the one who was raised to be the cultured spy, he’s the raptor whisperer with cybernetic eye. To each their own ;)
Did Angel and Tank break some supports when fighting, or is a third party about to break in through the ceiling?
I still think Mr. Fish could win this contest by virtue of being Mr. Fish.
My guess is that Rock’s on his way.
Perhaps he’s bringing Mr. Fish along?
Either that or an army of his fellow walrus selkies.
If Mr. fish shows up, Jared just HAS to be with him, ya’ know.
Perhaps he won a device in the poker game that let him travel to the island?
I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he’d been camping out for a while with his survivalist skills (and/or Mr Fish) without anyone noticing. Noticing a hotel with electricity would probably lure him out.
“C’mon, Mr. Fish! They might have Ecks Bawks!”
Dammit Tank, what’s the point of a being a titanium bull moose Terminator thing if you’re going to get your ass handed to you and then bitch about it? You’re acting like a middle school boy playing a game online and then complaining and insulting everyone when things don’t go your way.
I like that Angel points out how Commander is just putting up with more crap than he should from Tank. It seems likely that just because he doesn’t want to fight Tank, it doesn’t mean that he can’t take him down if he needs to.
Is tank always tactless and all talk or is it just when he is trying to zerk?
I think it’s less being “all talk” and more Angel being the teams Cyborg Barehanded Wrestling Specialist ^.^
That’s a very specific niche to specialize in.
Not in the distant future time, where a cyborg apocalypse in the past future are a thing every other Tuesday.
He’s getting gutted because she’s a badass, without question; however, she’s gutting him because, as he’s done every other time he’s shown, he talked a bigger game than he is either willing or able to play – just this time he crossed a line with the wrong person and got put in his place.
I guess I could rephrase my question.
Is Spider’s Top Gun reference about Tank’s behavior when he intentionally zerks as he apparently has for this event or is he just always a boisterous, abrasive, aggressive asshole that is generally incapable of being chill?
Looks like Tank hasn’t sufficiently learned the RULES OF NATURE – when you’re a colossal asshole all the time, eventually someone’s gonna get sick of your shit and put you in your place.
I think most people would have problems “putting Tank on its place” that you think. We are seeing Angel doing it quite fast (probably because if tanks grabs you is game over) since she knows both the man and where the vulnerable points are.
As for the ceiling crashing (and seeing that we are finishing the awesome arc) I suppose its the rest of the Cast “crashing down” the hotel for the point tally.
Oh yeah, we still haven’t seen Charlie Angels.
I’m all for a walrus-selky invasion, though.
im slightly confused by the fact angel seems to be able to deal with tank without too much trouble while Rock was completly unwilling to even try. Some mention angel might be agile enoguh to avoid tank’s blows but that dosent explain how she’d be able to pin him like she did if tank is ass as strong as rock said he was
It seems to be pretty spelled out in this exact comment. Rock is willing to put up with more of Tank’s bullshit before putting his foot down, Angel just isn’t putting up with it.
Oops, I mean exact comic.
Rock didn’t want to fight him. Didn’t say he couldn’t beat him if he did, he just didn’t want to fight. Why bother, when the outcome is pain for both of you, if you can just walk into the river and bareknuckle box a fish or three for dinner?
Right, my memory was wrong, i thought he said a few pages back* that fighting tank was suicidal but i went back and read and yeah, youre right, he only says it dosent fix anything.
*(http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/what-he-does-have-are-a-very-particular-set-of-skills-skills-he-has-acquired-over-a-very-long-career)
According to what one of the Valkiries said in the last comic “bare knucke cyborg boxing” seems to be Angels specialty. It seems like her and Spider have done this quite a lot before and the entire team has experience dealing with tanks ragefits. Guess she is their “Resitend Cyborg Wrangler” ;-)
yeah, make sense i guess.
Commander and Tank probably have similar styles, hit until the other guy goes down. Skill and tactics matter there, but in all likelihood the 7′ guy with massive augmentations who can alter his brain chemistry for extra energy and so he doesn’t feel pain will last longer and hit harder than they guy who’s just really big.
Angel, meanwhile, doesn’t fight like that. She grappled him, and when that happens it doesn’t matter how strong or tough the oppt is, the fight’ll be over fast if they can’t break the hold. Look at Rousey or Gracie’s fights for an IRL example.
Tank reminds me of a turtle in this. Like HELP HEEEEELP! I’M STUCK ON MY BACK AND CAN’T MOVE! ::flails limbs wildly::
so like, I hardly ever comment on anything ever, but considering what we know about the chrome-pocalyptic machismo-verse future. is it at all likely that Tank was brainwashed/programmed to have a thing where he is compelled to get all up in people’s grill?
because that would A) explain a lot and B) be a real cool arc hypothetically.
He’s just got a pump that forces too much endorcerones into this body and makes him angry all the time.
I do not bioglogy good.
Tank was talked into getting initial cyber augmentations by his sister (Spider) from that point on the program kept loading Tank up with more and more Gene-Mods, cyber Augmentations and chemical injections. He is a walking experiement on how far you can chemically push a soldier before the soldier breaks down mentally! Not to pull down the mood too much on a funny strip here but Tanks story is actually pretty sad. Imagine being allready prone to anger and then suddenly having irrational rage induced into you because someone else somwhere flipped a switch. Just completely not being in controll of your own brain anymore suddenly…
Anyway sorry for being so serious all of a sudden ^.^
“Writing cheques your body can’t cash. Your weak, fleshy, still-too-human body…”
Just disconnecting the bloody red ones :-D
Does Spider have automatic insurance on any structure she just built? I mean she did build that Upscale Hotel in the last few days because she was bored right? :D
I figured it was going to go down this road as soon as he popped up behind her, and I am so glad to be right. XD
Gotta love how much of an ass Tank is. “I’m the best leader because I’m the best fighter, dammit why are you beating me in a fight?!”
Prediction for the ceiling damage: Incoming Badass after he went into the ocean to catch, I dunno, a radical whale or something.
I realize Coela has likely already named all of Jet’s raptors, but I like to imagine that he gave them all names that were homages of Super Mario Bros characters.
In my mind their names are Mary, Louie, Princess, Dino, & Bowie (he used to be the naughtiest).
I love the mood-lighting in the first three panels.
This would make a great video game.
Huh. There is less damage to the ceiling than it looked like in black and white.
Yay for colour, I guess. >_>
everyone knows that a hand of pinture makes whonders. it makes buildings that looks about to crumble more robust. :3
I love the raptors getting tall and alert at all the noise, it’s so expressive and super bird.
Best feather dinosaurs ever.
So, who wants to bet that it’s Laser Fish on the roof?
NO. GIVE ME A RED. A RED.
Tank should totally have a U.S. flag tattooed on his face.
There’s no guarantee the U.S.A. (or any other country we know of) exists in spacefuture – he’d have the flag of whatever country/organization/corporation he identifies with instead.
“Cheques”? Does Spider talk like a British too?
I’m Canadian.
For a second, I thought I was reliving Mai-chan’s daily life.
So, would Spider include a self-destruct mode for her resort hotel? It’s classic Bond and I think she enjoys the tropes.
I bet Spider’s all disappointed her badass fight with Angel got wrecked by Tank. She seemed pretty psyched for it last page.
Still loving this arc! Seeing super-human/near-superhuman siblings bicker/hang out is an interesting concept.
O_O TOP GUN REFERENCE!~<3 *applauds Spider* And well suited to the situation. Props for that!
Now that we see him without his helmet, does Tank look like he’s got that “touch of grey” thing going on? It’s obviously a metal plate on review, but every time I see it I think he’s just greying on the sides while the top stays brown.
Am I the only one who mentally reads Spider’s lines in the same voice as Garnet from Steven Universe?
No. You are not the only one.
A little late to the comment party, but can i guess that the tubes being disconnected are color-coded similarly to the pills taken by Marvel’s Nuke?
I actually looked up “bruising the gin”. …Yeah, I’m a little late. Enjoy. https://boozeguru.wordpress.com/2015/06/05/bruising-the-ginbruising-the-ice/
Tank is huge. That means he have huge guts. Rip and tear.
Not sure how best to contact you about this, but got yanked off page entirely by an ‘easyweatheraccess’ advertisement