Brother from another bell jar
February 20, 2017
2:57 am
I spent all day trying to come up with a joke for this week but I couldn’t so instead here’s some Canada Guy backstory.
Manly Guys Doing Manly Things
Updated Mondays or whenever I feel like it
Canadians stole the idea and made a copy!? [gasps in shock]
Well that’s rude. And Im not sorry, so there. 😤
Oh no you didn’t! XDDDD
YES THEY DID STORM WING I JUST SAW IT
Not sorry? Are you SURE you’re Canadian?
Considering how many American Logos have a maple leaf just slapped on the side in the North
or he’s from a Zellers production run
While this is funny, I kind of feel like it cheapens the idea of Canadian Guy. Part of what gives him his charm is that he’s so inexplicably rediculous.
Most unsanctioned regional variaants are, like that Spiderman that flies around shooting lasers from his hands, or the SuperWoman that can see the future and melt walls with her voice…I lost my point…
Canada Guy is still awesome, but now there’s an explanation for some of his weirdness.
In another world I’d agree with you. But Manly Guys already has so many ridiculous dudes who are explained, by the tropes of their own franchise, that Canada guy just being there, inexplicably, was the cherry on top.
Finding out he belongs to Her Royal Space Future Majesty’s Canadian Armed Forces is almost a letdown.
“Canada Guy is still awesome, but now there’s an explanation for some of his weirdness.”
Yeah, they had to make a certain amount of changes in the DNA code or the procedures for decanting in order to avoid International Copyright violations…
;)
What? All they did was spill some maple syrup on one of the slides!
Exactly. That was enough of a change to slide by the law.
;)
Like how he’s the one, of all people, that Commander can pilot a Jaeger with?
I need to see this now.
Well you’re in luck, it’s int he archives: http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/if-you-havent-seen-pacific-rim-yet-what-are-you-doing-go-now-drop-everything
A cheap foreign knockoff? You mean Canada Guy is the Toronto to Commander’s New York City?
He’s a bootleg in the same vein that Italian Spider Man is based off of a certain webslinger.
RESPECT WOMEN!
You should apologize they might burn the white house down again.
Canada Guy is a bootleg?
Don’t you mean… a BOUTleg?
I don’t get it, you just said the same thing.
It’s a-BOOT pride! It’s a-BOOT democracy! It’s a-BOOT outrageous scot-derived accents!
Actually it’s a BOATleg.
Eep I was trying to reply to Darth Thulhu, sorry aBOAT that.
Aboot-leg
Knock it off, people! I’ve had just aboot enough of this!
Noo doot aboot it.
So Canada guy is like Commander’s Alola form?
Captain Hawaii? Does anyone know how to say “Badass” in Hawaiian?
According to conventional transliteration, it would be “Pakaka”, but I don’t know if that has the same ring to it.
Sorta sounds like full auto fire, but yeah: somehow has a kiddie ring to it all the same.
it’s the “kaka” at the end of it that sounds kiddie
captain pakaka…. has a nice ring to it.
Sounds like a load of ca-ca to me…
Captain Panaka? Wasn’t he the security guy on Naboo in The Phantom Menace?
Captain Pancake?
Why not “Kahuna”?
Already in the lexicon through surf culture. And while it’s not quite a literal translation, neither is “bad ass” a literal term if you stop to think about it. (Badasses are not / don’t have inferior posteriors.)
Kahuna Pakaka… what a wonderful phrase.
Congratulations on your victory. Enclosed please find your complimentary internet.
I dunno. Commander Pakaka sounds pretty entertaining. Would sell plenty of toys with the name alone.
This was unforseen. I’d always assumed Canadian guy was made out of moose steak and maple syrup. Sad day.
Well, yeah. Probably is. No amount of Hola will get you access to American military-grade steak, so we make due with knockoffs.
Have you had moose? not exactly a knockoff
…would love to try moose. …would probably want to take a freezer-worth home with me.
What are you planning on doing with the other 2/3 of that moose then?
Give it away? Canadians are generous and charitable people.
man I haven’t had moose in ages I wish I could get some… hell Id settle for moose burger
Moose is a manlier meat than beef. “Oh, that was a relatively sedate, up to about 700 lb mammal’s muscles, huh? Try some of this! It was carved from about 2000 lbs. worth of pissed off furry meat tank.”
Have not had moose. Have had elk! Now there’s a red meat. Tougher than any cow we’re used to, that’s for sure. Rich flavour though! I thank my inuit friends back in gradeschool for sharing that with our class.
I have to assume moose would be similarly very devoid of fattiness, and much more likely to be shared out of the sheer necessity of owning three freezers to store it. Mmm.
Elk that’s tough is Elk that was cooked by someone who doesn’t know how to cook Elk… which is for some reason a secret that nobody who knows how to cook Elk wants to share, so don’t feel bad about that.
It’s tricky, like turkey, because of the low fat. Turkey ends up sad and dry, Elk ends up tough. But that’s just like deer and turkey – you can cook any of them and have them come out brilliantly if you treat ’em right.
The cheater way is to wrap and stuff it in bacon :)
Well, Commander never said the steak he was made from was *beef*…
Well to be completely honest, Jareds train of thought is a reasonable conclusion. Given that Commander IS from the future.
Did anyone say canadian guy is not from the future?
Also a reasonable assumption, how many guys in a given room would you expect to be from the future?
In this comic? Pretty much everyone.
Well, those not from the past, that is.
Or from an alternate time line.
My character supposed to be from a different dimension but about 5 million years back there’s a hero guy who jumps into it and does some hero stuff that ultimately ends up merging it with your Dimension Prime, so ours never exists.
My species was going to hear gravity. Now I’m made of meat. But I can eat bacon now so it kinda evens out.
You all make a valid point.
nearly all people are from the past, even if they were only born yesterday
So, future Canadian space military made a variant of Commander, and the Canada of the present/whatever time this is, is chill with giving him both free healthcare from the bishonen arc and presumably citizenship as well? That’s awesome!!!
Well, I mean… is it that much of a stretch for them to honor a citizenship they will have issued in the non-descript spacefuture?
Canada. where everyone and everything is considered a human being and treated to citizenship( probably ad to go through 2-3 years of paperwork tough)
The Canadian government will suddenly start running at a surplus in about 97 years, when all of those pesky time-travellers stop claiming healthcare and start paying taxes.
(So, which year does the Commander pay taxes in, the Space Future who got him the job, the past he is present in, or both? Do the Temporal Space Military pay him for hours worked while travelling, or just for the duration between when he went back in time and comes back to the future? “We know it took you 6 months to hunt that guy down, but we only sent you back 70 minutes ago and you’re already back, so you can only put an hour on the timesheet”)
Presumably he pays business tax wherever his business is based (IE, the present) and Income Tax wherever he is registered as a resident (he spends most of his time in the present, so presumably there as well!)
Though hey, maybe in the Spacefuture the US has P.A.Y.E. and he doesn’t need to worry about it since he’s taxed at the point of earning!
They say imitation is the best form of flattery… Unless they start making money off of it.
Well, Canadians bootlegging is a long and time-honoured tradition. Can’t see any reason why we would stop, even in the non-descript chrome-plated space future.
Makes me wonder if every country has a knock-off version of the Commander.
Part of me wants to see North Korean Bootleg Commander. You know that’s gonna be super ridiculous. Pretty sure Russian Bootleg is just Vladimir Putin.
I second that headcannon!
Vladimir Putin is likely the guy cosplaying as the Russian version of the Commander.
So, if Canada Guy is not Commander’s ancestor… what if Jared is? *X-Files music*
I mean he’s already disillusioned about Commander being him from the future, but what if the spacefuture military sampled Jared (or his descendants) for compassion genes or something similar?
I’m sorry but this notion had me bent over from laughing too hard. Too many hilarious impossibilities and possibilities simultaneously.
Maybe not so much his compassion n general but specifically his ability to interact with animals, in particular sea creatures? (There was that time with that Megalodon in the survival dome)
Wait, you’re right. Jones has already called the Commander “Angel’s Jared”, they both seem to have Sea Animal Allegiance…
What if there’s more to this than the Commander even realizes?
jones DID say commander was the jared of his team when he`s not in charge.
That settles it. Jared confirmed for Rock’s great-grandpappy.
Please. PLEASE let this be canon. I want this so much. XD
This makes the identity of Jared’s mysterious Internet girlfriend even more important.
THANK YOU Coelasquid!!!
Oh lord.
Huh. And here I thought that Canada Guy was just an ordinary mortal man who could somehow keep up with B-52. This does explain the palette-swap appearance though.
If I recall correctly, Canada Guy is “Commander but with black hair” as an analogue of her dad, who then became one of the greatest running gags in the series, now with extra-plausible backstory!
I could be wrong.
Now of course I’m wondering if there was a betting pool for Canada Guy’s backstory and if anyone actually won.
What happened was:
1. She wanted a palette-swapped version of Rock Lobster.
2. She realized that a palette-swapped version of Rock Lobster looked a hell of a lot like her dad.
3. She decided to go with it and make the palette-swapped version of Rock Lobster Canadian to a ridiculous degree.
My sister was bitten by a moose once.
It was veri nasti
Yeah, it’s got to be super annoying when someone copies you but ends up doing it better.
To quote Picasso, “You invent something, then someone else comes along and does it pretty.”
Truth
Is that the first time Canada Guy says something on-panel?
No, it is not. He has spoken on-panel several times. For example, when he went to the hospital with everyone’s blood in him so he could get that bishie-virus cleaned out of it and dear lord this comic is weird, even in context.
I don’t know why this gave me the giggles, but it did.
Refer to Canada Guy’s first appearance: http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/06282010
Sure enough, The Chops grew back in a single week.
Well, that does explain a lot.
…No, actually not much.
Well, I guess that explains why they’re so drift compatible.
Need them in a Pacific Rim Jaeger NOW
Here ya Go: http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/if-you-havent-seen-pacific-rim-yet-what-are-you-doing-go-now-drop-everything
Thank you. Thank you so much. You are a gentlebeing and a scholar
Imagine if other people here turned out to have similar backstories. Is Zangief the Russian bootleg of Tank?!
…No, wait, that’s stupid.
Potemkim is more along Tank’s build, so he’s probably the bootleg.
Ok, now I’m curious to see CB’s bootlegs from other… disreputable places?
Mexican Commander was Leo Carrillo.
I just love how a single, three-word line completely shifts the perspective on everything.
Which three-word line? “He’s a bootleg” or “Unsanctioned Regional Variant!”? xD
“He’s a bootleg” XD
This explains SO MUCH.
There’s always a possibility that both of them are just messing with Jared. It fits Commander’s sense of humor, and look at Canada Guy’s expression through the second two panels. That’s either pride at being an unsanctioned regional variant, or pride at tricking Jared so good. I’m going to believe that Canada Guy’s origins are like the Joker’s: there are multiple, and there’s no telling which is true.
Actually, the expressions are great in every panel.
True, the Commander has screwed around with people re: his history pretty frequently whenever it’s not directly relevant to the situation at hand. For example, his “American soil and steak” remark early on.
The truth comes out!
Also: there can be only one?
Why else would he invite Canadian Guy over?
I suppose that’s why they’re drift compatible.
To which I repeat: need them in a Pacific Rim Jaeger NAO!
I read this and laughed. Then I stopped and realized I am not sure which part of this is so funny. Thanks all the same for brightening my Monday.
Fun Fact: Did you know that quite a lot of bootleg vodka and spirits are of better quality than the commercially available cheap crap they sell at supermarkets?
I just hope Commander is top-shelf.
This is even better if you think about the “Super Soldier Project” in Marvel Comics, where in some what-if stories you can see others Captain around. I think there is an official image of Deadpool dressed as “Captain Canada” tough I’m not sure that was just a pinup or cover variant.
Quite a few characters are unsanctioned variants of Captain America…not all of them come from different regions though, and few of them resemble the original.
Hell, isn’t The Hulk technically an unsanctioned Captain America variant? Banner was trying to recreate the serum.
That depends on the continuity.
Hulk, Black Cat, Spiderman, and I think Weapon X is the Canadian bootleg of the program.
Yeeeees, keep wrestling. *grabs popcorn*
Well, guess that explains why they’re drift compatible.
And third time’s the charm: Pacific Rim Jaeger buddies! Need immediately!
and again: http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/if-you-havent-seen-pacific-rim-yet-what-are-you-doing-go-now-drop-everything
And again: so many thanks. It’s like discovering a need I never knew I had, and then someone hands over the perfect example of satisfying that need.
A little curious as to how long this reveal has been waiting.
So would that mesn that Reaper is México Guy?
If this is what happens when you “can’t come up with a joke”, please feel free to never need a joke again. Canada Guy strips are 24K gold, every time.
Okay, so if Canada guy is a bootleg of the Commander, then it logically follows that there’s a British version that was the true original. Like British The Office vs American The Office.
British Guy was really popular and did the job well but he only lasted 3 missions or so… and he had to take 2 year long breaks between each mission. Really not efficient.
I’d like you to meet Ace, the british super spy version of the bunch. he’s only been in the comic like, 7 or 8 times so far ;)
he was a waiter in one of them XD
Nah, his teeth are to nice for him to actually be British.
The actual British version should look like Austin Powers.
Nope, Ace was merely conditioned to act like a British. He’s an American knockoff of a British product. XD
Okay, let’s figure this out. Commander is nicknamed Rock Lobster because his serial code ends in B52. Most likely the process to make him was stolen by a Canadian Spy agency, ones known for never wearing hats. Thus Canada Guy’s nickname must be Safety Dance.
Only if the yet-to-be-revealed Australian Guy’s nickname is Down Under.
It makes so much sense now! Commander rebelled by speaking in the most deranged variant of the American Accent, ‘Growling Southerner’ and his Canadian Bootleg did the same with the ‘Boisterous Newfoundlander’. I am honestly loving this development. :)
wait, so like, canada guy is also from the future like Rock but he’s a bootleg from another country than Rock ?
does this mean canada guy is also from the future? or that future space canada is making war… does canada know they have this guy?
All Canadians are like Canadian Guy.
>Regional Variant
Huh, makes me wonder what Canadian Form Jared looks like and if he’s arbitrarily given Dark-typing?
Nah, he’s in (MGDMT) Canada, so he’s got ice-typing instead of a tan (dark typing).
…Jared has grown some balls if he’s actually trying to break up a fighting this place. I can see that being the biggest workplace hazard, random fights between these macho men.
That, or maybe everyone at the workplace just loves Jared so much now none of them could ever dream of ever harming a single hair on his head thus he can get away with trying to break up a fight… Plus he does have a giant Laser Fish as backup who knows Not to Eat Jared but knows that same protection does not apply to others.
i now want to see someone try to hurt jarred and a mob just appears of all the manly guys around jarred or behind him and just look menacing but when jarred turns around they are gone batman style
http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/oh-youre-my-best-friend-in-a-world-we-must-defend They’d just let Mr. Fish handle it.
OH MY GOD, you mean Canada Guy is from spacefuture?! How did this never come up before!?
So, instead of Canada Guy, Eh? it’s Canada’s a Clone Guy, Eh?
Snerkles.
Funny cartoon and good work as usual.
Jared has been on a role with the awkward assumptions lately.
Canada Guy is so proud of the bootlegging – probably because he also bootlegs alcohol and smuggles it in one of the store rooms. Commander is grumpy about it but it’s actually pretty good booze and is the only way to mellow some of the cast.
Bootleged Canadian Club kept the US partying when the Holy Rollers thought we didn’t deserve to get blasted. We will never forget our neighbors to the North who happily kept us in Hooch for the duration of that insanity. Thanks Canada!
So let me get this straight. Spacefuture military badasses are subject to the same rules of distribution and unauthorized reproduction as Transformers? I now imagine a factory in Southwest China producing copies of Rock in every color combination except “ambiguous deep tan with blonde hair and red jacket”.
…Is Canadian guy actually Canadian? Like, did Canada actually make him, or did he just grow up there?
And I realized now that this would make them literal real-life G.I. Joes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen knockoffs of the official Joe molds in Dollar General.
Hahaha, it explains this…
http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/if-you-havent-seen-pacific-rim-yet-what-are-you-doing-go-now-drop-everything
Canada has a long standing history of copying military-grade American equipment and making a better version of it. Just look at the C7.
And here I thought Canadaman was a mystery to the Commander.
I just realized that “Canadaman” and “Commander” both start with C and have the same number of letters. Definitely not a conspiracy.
Canada Guy is Commander’s “Alternate History” skin in Heroes of the Storm.
Hahaha, my mind was about to be blown, since Rock Lobster is from the future… it all made sense! But the regional variant was another unexpected surprise lol
Are we ignoring the fact the Commander can spontaneously regrow his chops? Is that one of his superpowers?
It’s been established that he has to shave multiple times per day in order to avoid growing a full beard.
http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/this-is-more-of-a-psa-than-a-joke-really
I’m still overtly fond of the panel where they’re having a beer together. I’d get a print of that.
So – if we really think about it… Canada guy is a clone of Rock Lobster… meaning he’s like… Rock Lobster’s third child, only this time through test tube….
Do you think the Commander would try and bond with him more if he considered Canada Guy as a son?
He’s more like a younger brother with less responsibilities and expectations put on him.
Is that because he’s Canadian or because he’s not military?
Who said Safety Dance wasn’t military?
Am…am I Canada Guy?..
I should likely hit 100 gyms…
I hope there’s a Canadian Tank.
http://www.canada.com/news/cms/binary/4957467.jpg?size=620x400s
I spent this entire time thinking the same thing as Jared. And that idea just got dashed.
Commander’s side-burns are back!
Maybe…maybe they’re removable? It looks like it takes some time to grow those things.
The Movember comic from a few years ago established that he has to shave multiple times a day to avoid a full bear. He had one down to his chest because he missed his “mid-morning chop-wrangling”. Jared thinks the New Zealand cave sheep was him.
Outstanding!
I dunno… I think you made a perfect punchline! XD
Gotta love Canada Guy’s expressions in the last two panels. He just looks like and knows he’s a punchline.
FLINTSTONES?!
Awww shoot well there goes my theory that canada guy was actual paul bunyan.