There are way scarier things in the Pokemon world than facehuggers
June 12, 2017
2:51 am
To be honest I would prefer an Alien Meets Pokemon crossover to Covenant
Manly Guys Doing Manly Things
Updated Mondays or whenever I feel like it
Argh! Mr Fish isn’t resistant to Poison type moves!
Ah, but as a Flying type, he’s resistant to Bug Type attacks, isn’t he?
Acid is Poison though.
bot really, despite what some people might say. it’s more of a eraser, sort of. that’s the best term i can think of, at least.
*not
Acid is acid, poison is a toxin. It’s a chemical that causes undesired effects when brought into the body. Acid just disolves things
I’m pretty sure they were talking about the pokemon move Acid, which has the poison type in the games.
Maybe IRL, but in pokemon acid is the poison type, and Mr. Fish doesn’t resist it.
Gyarados are a lot tougher than people generally give them credit for, though. Sometimes it’s easy to forget the thing that can totally wipe your team also has 95/79/100 defenses, which is squarely above average.
ah yes and being acid is a special attack based poison move while he may nor resist it it’s weak base power will do very little to Mr. Fish
yeah, i know. i’m just kind of a stickler for actually using words the way they’re supposed to be used. Ghoul, for instance, currently is a synonym for zombie, but traditionally a ghoul is a living human being who digs up and cannibalizes corpses.
ah, but the source word “ghul” describes a shapeshifting demon with donkey hooves…and even the early western form (first appearing in the French translation of “One Thousand and One Nights” around 1700) still described it as a demonic creature…and it live in cemeteries, but ate living humans. The living human that eats corpses is actually closer to some tales of the Wendigo.
Preeeeettttttty sure Mr. Fish is l.99, and the little dudes are still in their first form. They’re just gonna do 1hp chip damage no matter how the types line up.
Mr. Fish learned Hyper Beam just recently which means he probably didn’t advance much from Lv 54 (I checked when he learns it, I don’t remember such things). Unfortunately it seems he can’t learn any more moves anyway unless Jared inserts a disk with TM into his… where do they insert it anyway?
Worst case scenario is that he faints, so its all good.
Worst case scenario is that he gets ill & vomits them up onto Jared.
You say that, but every Pokemon aside from Unown,
Wobbuffet, Wynaut, Kricketot, Burmy, Tynamo, Spewpa, and Magearna can learn toxic.
though in dittos case it can only learn toxic via transforming into a pokemon that knows toxic
W… why? Why is that the case? I mean, I looked it up and it seems to be true, but it makes no sense.
It doesn’t take much to stop bathing.
Can confirm.
I’m pretty sure Magicarp can’t learn anything from TM before evolving.
He burps hyper beams and eats poison Pokémon because he can. Mr. Fish will be fine he’s the top preditor.
I’m reminded of that line from one of the recent Star Wars prequel. “There are always bigger fish.” Ha!
False. Mr Fish is the biggest Fish.
Hope he doesn’t get indigestion
More like: Hope, as they’re dissolved by gastric acid, their acid doesn’t prove to be stronger (which, going by the films of melting even steel floors, it should be) and dissolve his stomach from the inside…
Okay… That’s DARK!!!
Only if Mr. Fish has mega-evolved.
Perfect timing.
Fun fact about acids! Sometimes two strong acids, when mixing, actually become a single weaker acid!
I didn’t know that. So Freakin’ Cool!
Oh wow – I also didn’t know!
So that’s probably what will save Mr. Fish – If he doesn’t spit them out, eventually.
I dunno, a Gyarados can summon a hyper beam from it’s gullet. I’m not sure if there is acid or a nuclear reactor in there.
Are we going to get Gyarados based xenomorphs?
It would be kind of awesome. Humanity would be doomed but still.
We’re doomed by either of those species anyway, might as well mix them together and die from the coolest possibility.
That is the best kind of doom isn’t it? lol
I’m pretty sure Jared could control them if they came from Mr.Fish. Judge Dredd yelled a xenomorph judge into enforcing the law and fight another xenomorph.
Agreed. A good trainer with a ball’d pokemon pretty much get’s auto-obey out of everything. Worst case scenario, Jared has a new unique evolution on his hands.
Mr Fish spawned XENOKARP!
Xenokarp used splash. It’s not very effective.
Except, Xenokarp splashes with molecular acid.
It’s VERY effective.
huh, if the facehuggers start laying eggs into Mr Fish’s stomach, we’ll have a huge problem on our hands
That all depends on whether or not Mr. Fish chewed.
Also it’s not exactly an egg. The egg releases the “facehugger” larval form, which is really just a carrier for the proto-adult embryo which is then inserted into the digestive tract of the host. It takes in genetic material from the host and begins to develop. Once it matures it digs it’s way out and then goes through a rapid growth cycle to nearly full size within a few hours of emergence from the host.
BUT.
Pokemon have metamorphosed lifecycles. A newly hatched Gyarados is a Magikarp first which is not particularly impressive. Will the Pokemon’s metamorphosis protocols override the Xenomorph’s own “strength seeking” retrovirus, resulting in a XenoKarp? Or will we get a full-blown Gyaramorph?
Or, perhaps more interestingly, will the “strength seeking” retrovirus discover through genetic memory Ancient Magikarp, which were supposedly super powerful, and develop off of that?
Let’s not forget all those mega stones Mr. Fish ate. Lord knows what happens when THOSE mix with the “Easter Crabs”
Actually facehuggers don’t lay eggs in people anymore. According to the official canon they pump some sort of genetic material into victims that result ina tumorous growth that eventually becomes the xenomorph.
If a future Commander doesn’t appear to tell him he fucked up, we’re good.
that’s true
he is right though, it is just starting to get interesting
Commander knows that Jared is basically a Champion of Chaos God of Fun. Leave him to his devices and world will go mad with weird but fun stuff XD
HAIL KAY-OHS!
Sounds like a kind of cereal. One that fighting game and Warhammer characters will endorse in commercials. I’d buy that.
Not getting enough revolution in your diet? Fight the power with delicious and counterculture Kay-ohs! With over seventy vitamins and minerals it will give you the energy to suckerpunch the morning! Dive kick your commute and wow your carpool buddies with your righteous fury against the status quo!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES!
… Khorne Flakes. XD
. . . I am in no way prepared for Gyaramorphs.
Re: hovertext: the Pokédex is a veritable treasure trove of “fridge horror”. It’s amazing what one can get away with in a children’s game, if only you tuck it away in the flavor text.
Oh the fridge horror goes deeper. THe fact some pokemon learn human speech, and all of them, even the GODDAMN PLANTS can at least understand it enough to be trained… every link in the goddamn food chain is SENTIENT if not more intelligent. And they take these creatures and encourage young children to use them in what can only be conceptualized as an international legally sanctioned slave fighting ring.
The entire planet has evolved with sociopathology as a beneficial trait. Not just humans, everything. How else could so many of these creatures hunt and kill things just as intelligent as them every day without going completely insane?
The pocket monster world is one of monsters.
Morals are relative.
The disturbing part is that Pokémon aren’t slaves, there’s literally nothing a trainer can do to a Pokémon that would actually hurt it. Every Pokémon trains and battles because they enjoy it. Every single one of them. All battle crazy, all with elemental super powers.
To be fair, trainers probably could hurt their own ‘mons if they were so inclined. The Player Characters however can’t really do much besides feed them bitter medicine, or neglect to heal them.
Probably for the best, I imagine a pokemon in the hands of an inexperienced (or sadistic) player would have the life expectancy of a carnival goldfish.
Ask yourself, what could a trainer do that would compare to the attacks of other pokemon? If a Caterpie can walk off a Hyper Beam how am I supposed to intimidate it?
I dunno, I’ve become partial to the theory that pokémon attacks are all flavors of “sound and fury” types of things– the little ray calls down a LIGHTNING STRIKE FROM THE HEAVENS ON AN ENTIRE FLOCK OF BIRDS, INCINERA– what? They’re just a little rattled and scorched, as if by a moderate electric current, rather than being hit by something roughly ten rimes hotter than the goddamn sun?
Pokemon Go is a game about capturing creatures and stuffing them into a confined space, then force-feeding them candy. Occasionally, you take them out and force them into a fighting ring.
Not to mention that children are encouraged, if not out right shamed, into leave the house with the equivalent of the house hold pet for protection and wander the world on their own. There is a solid argument to be made that 10 is considered the age of emancipation and adulthood in this world.
Thus, no one bats an eye with a 10 year old helping the cops bust international crime rings, because it’s very possible that said kid could be an actual fully paid member of the police force. This gives them a couple years to see the world and form friendships and families before puberty kicks in, they settle down to have kids at the ripe age of 12, and the cycle begins anew.
How about the implication that the pokedex in RBY is written by Red from personal research.
Considering what the ‘dex says about Raticate and Golem, Red is a sadistic asshole.
I’m so glad you’re going down this road.
Called it.
Don’t think they’ll burst out though. Mr. Fish will at some point just start coughing aliens
Oh dear Gods, like the Galala Gator with his leeches but instead they will be black nightmarish aliens of claws and death…
MR. FISH WANTS TO LEARN A NEW MOVE!
WILL MR. FISH LEARN “VOMIT HORROR”? Y/N
How about “Pokemon meets Halos Covenant”?
We could catch Grunts and Jackals in pokeballs and the gymleaders would be the prophets!
and now I’m hoping they won’t burst out of his stomach.
calling it now magikarp shaped aliens. also eggbursters
I liked Covenant, but the next movie will have a lot of explaining to do.
Just as a reminder for everyone, every single Pokemon can learn Toxic, no matter what. Thus, every Pokemon can naturally create and expel a deadly and disgusting poison. I honestly think that the insides of a Pokemon would put an Alien to shame…
“The cir-cle of liiifffeeee…”
I wasn’t gonna say something about children not normally eating their mothers in the circle of life but then I realized. What even is gyaradose? And that some kids eat their birth hosts….. nature can be so Damn terrifying. Like poison trees, exploding seeds, laxatives in someone else’s food…….
JONES!
Will you please stop being the voice of reason? It ain’t good for you.
So, we should Xenomorphs with Gyarados templates, eh?
Run for the hills, I say.
“Karp, karp, xenokarp karp.”
Xenokarp used Splash. It’s not very effective.
As you chuckle at the flailing chitinous creature, the fluid it splashed you with begins to tingle…then it begins to burn…
You laugh, but once they hit level 20 and become Gyraqueens things won’t be so funny.
Not sure about that. The xenomorph would use the acid it has to either get to its target or get out if it had to. So a xenocarp would have an insane acid splash.
What Trainer Level do I need to be in Magikarp Jump to have a chance of getting a facehugger-pattern Magikarp?
I’d love to see a gyrados-xenomorph hybrid!
Well if worse comes to worse I think Rock can do some Time Travel hijinks to save us all.
Mr. Fish thoughts: “Jared is being silly. Anyone can see these things are dangerous. Must save Jared from himself, as he is nice to have around, providing food, attention, and skritches as well as he does. Besides, these things look quite tasty.”
+ Best comment
Next comic, Mr. Fish burping out xenomorphs, which Jared proceeds to treat as his babies and tame. Commander has an even bigger bag of popcorn and still refuses to show any concern whatsoever.
I think Jared will do an excellent job raising whatever they evolve into. Training will be more difficult but it will be very fun to watch.
The only thing bothering me is Mr Fish’s expression seems almost like he doesn’t like the taste or something. He should be smiling a bit more :P
Maybe he doesn’t like the taste of “Don’t Eat Jared” taking (or trying to take) food out of his mouth.
Mr. Fish never smiles. He does look rather dyspeptic in the last panel as if he’s suffering some internal discomfort. But that may be his normal expression or simply what he appears to be given that Jared is pulling at his upper lip.
This is my first time reading the comments section on this webcomic. I am not disappointed. ^_^
I am picturing Jared trying to train a xenokarp while it is opening its “maw” and having a smaller magikarp tongue.
Hmm, so the general consensus is that Xenomorphs would be some cross with Poison type in the Pokemon world, Bug/Poison being the most accepted?
I suppose the Yautja would likely be Steel/Dark or some such?
I’m thinking bug and an inherited typing with universal egggroup and corrosion ability. FeMale ratio 100%
Either that or Fighting/Dark for the Yautja.
Remember how big they are on ‘the honor of the hunt.’
“Dark” and “Honor of the Hunt” are incompatible.
The Dark Type is all about winning at any cost, even if it means using dishonorable tricks like crocodile tears, ganging up on a single opponent or attacking a fleeing foe.
Xenomorphs are Bug/Poison with Corrode as their Ability and something like “All poison status effects inflicted by this pokemon are automatically Badly Poisoned” or “Poison and burn inflicted by this pokemon will stack with each other” for a HA.
Yautja are probably Steel/Fighting.
Maybe Fighting/Fire.
please leave
thanks much
But I could understand that, with the whole plasma weapons thing.
Leave?
Plasma casters, general explosives, a preference for hot environments.
Does this mean he’s gonna crap Xenos?
What typing would a xenomorph get in pokemon?
Dark/Steel?
Its form and general abilities fall squarely into the bug category, up to and including laying eggs inside other creatures and general fighting style. Acidic body fluids might net it a secondary typing, depending on whether or not they wanted to play up its templating ability from the facehugger stage.
If they just wanted a “standard” xenomorph, it’d be bug/poison for basic shape and abilities. For the template angle, the base facehugger form would be bug/poison and its evolution would depend on whatever it KO’d last before evolving, probably doing something weird like picking up one of the types and ability of the thing it took out and maybe learning an attack or two from the other pokemon’s movelist.
Mimikyu for one, damn eldritch horror.
Dark/Steel?
Is Jared the only one of them that can save the world consistently by accident?
I think of GyaraMorphs and Grabloids keep popping up in my head.
Coelasquid, if the Easter Crabs keep showing up (and I hope they will), would you please give them their own tag.
I love Mr. Fish.
“To be honest I would prefer an Alien Meets Pokemon crossover to Covenant”
I’d prefer the second Alien v Predator crossover to Covenant
No matter how this ends it will be really acidic, so going to guess Jared will give mr fish a lot of stuff against bad stomach.
I’m really surprised I’ve yet to see a Magikarp Jump reference involving Jared yet.
You might love a game called “magikarp jump”
Will this work? Or not work? Or will he just eat them? Or will be become eaten?
The world may never know
It has occurred to me that while Jared isn’t exactly macho, his monster handling skills put just about everyone in fiction to shame. There should be a comic where Geralt is tracking down a monster, to find Jared teaching it to roll over and play dead.
I can imagine Duke looking for Jared, sees Jared playing with his Karpbursters and either going “Nope” and running off or sighing in frustration and saying “Damn. Those alien bastards get everywhere.” before pulling out his twin gold [s]tiger-print[/s] Deagles.
for a flying type, mister fish does tend to stay on land a lot
Also for a Water-type.
Pokemon breeding is weird enough that I’m not sure how this will turn out.
Mr. fish will either vomit up a xenomorph egg or like, a big hairball of head-crab exoskeletons. I’m good with whatever.
It makes me sad that there are so many more comments speculating xenomorph poke-types then there are comments sharing poke-horror that dwarfs xenomorphs.
Like I know the balloon one that drags kids away, that you murder Gary’s radicate in Red how fucked up society in the games are, and the spooky ghost stuff in the first ones, but I’m still clearly missing out here.