You all knew I had to make a comic about the hot dad dating sim
June 26, 2017
2:45 am
Hope everyone’s ready to pretend to date hot dads.
He’s so hooked on the idea of boring domestic family life, the closest thing he can manage to being single is dating someone who isn’t interested in marrying him.
I love that the Commander continues to be so totally casually bi. And pragmatic.
He comes from a reality where his high school sweetheart became a killer cyborg, he’s ahead of the curve.
What about us unattractive happily married dads? maybe if I get a piercing and a tatoo?
You don’t need those, you have The Funk.
Hey, you gotta have that funk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4nOHdUntyM
But then you have to uptown your funk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehmUZlfzjHQ
Be careful what you wish for.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tN0emKFbs50
I appreciate the funk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_98eXaBW30
This really seems to say that Commander and Jonesy’s relationship, whatever it is, isn’t romantic or sexual. Interesting.
Or it’s casual and open.
I, for one, am in full support of polyromantic visibility.
I’m willing to bet whatever she’s drinking has a bit to do with her accommodating demeanor.
Alex, I’ll take projecting for 100.
As a polyamorous person in an open relationship, can confirm this is exactly how this type of interaction would go with my partner that I am definitely romantic and sexual with.
High five!
After that arc of Jonesy trying to get the Commander to hook up with her, I’m surprised she’d be down with him getting action on the side.
Huh, I don’t remember that arc. I remember they kissed out of nowhere one time, and then they started showing up in casual-dating scenarios and spending the night.
She made him homemade cookies and came to visit him at work, and they continued getting coffee together thereafter, I dunno if I’d say they kissed out of nowhere, per-say….
It was one of the Valentine’s Day pages from a while back where they kissed, but that seemed kind of planned on Commander’s part.
I just saw a clip from an old Game Master episode, where there was a guy that looks JUST like the Commander, LITERALLY JUST LIKE HIM, and he, uh… Was drinking milk straight from a cow.
It was Simon Belmont from Captain N: The Game Master. He was an arrogant fool that always showed off for the princess.
https://cliqueypizza.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/captain-n-himself.jpg?w=300&h=247
And here:
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?
q=tbn:ANd9GcTX24O0lQU-D6STtnK8aIPtCbarkoHWZK5oeOUz-3zBCDWIkR38Qg
Sorry, I fixed the last link, here:
https://i.imgur.com/GLaExx1_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=high
If it doesn’t work, sorry.
I love that expression he has in panel four. Looks kind of like one of Jared’s facial expressions actually. I wonder if he picked it up from spending so much time with him. Heh, if you squint, it lends a bit more proof to my ongoing fan theory that the Commander is Jared’s descendant.
Well, during the survival game arc, Jones realized that Commander was pretty much Angel’s Jared when surrounded by his family and not required to act as a leader.
I guess he’s now comfortable enough with Jones that he can let out his jaredness a bit.
“Jaredness”
This made my day.
May I suggest the word “jaredity”?
This is perfect
Isn’t Jones an attractive single… well, not a single parent, but still. Commander had best be careful, or he’s going to end up married again – with someone who can provide more kids (without a military eugenics program and official authorization from the top brass).
Jones has no interest in being a wife, she couldn’t even stick with her carpentry class long enough to finish building the futon she sleeps on.
As someone who is basically Jones and would totally date a hot dad and encourage his nesting instinct with other hot dads, I 100% approve of this comic specifically and Coela in general for being awesome enough to make it. DAT HEALTHY POLY VISIBILITY HELL YEEEE
How long have they been seeing each other now? It’s had to have been longer than the average carpentry class at this point.
The whole timeframe of this comic is pretty ambiguous, whatever feels right to you.
Remember, one of them is a time-traveler, so temporal ambiguity is to be expected.
Yeah, they’ll both give you a different answer.
Must make the anniversaries a botch though… Do you go by your timeframe, their timeframe, or chronological time? (“Happy minus-tenth anniversary honey!”)
Who says they bother with anniversaries?
I was gonna say, she doesn’t seem like the type to settle down and have kids. Especially kids. You gotta spend at least 18 years on those!
Im for redefining wife.
wife is whatever wife wants it to be. I may become wife and I’m not even a woman :D \\o//
Jones do kinda act as a parent. To the black mold in her sucky apartment.
“Hey, that looks like Robert… oh my god IT IS Robert!”
My sides were hurting from panel two. They were mercilessly finished off by “domestic singles”.
You included the two dads I’m having the most trouble deciding between. I can’t wait to try and date them and get tired at 8pm and fall asleep on the couch with them.
This will always be my favourite definition of “broody hero”.
“Cannot marry a fellow Hot Dad, would collect too many babies.” Yep.
A+ comment, 10 points.
We’re getting points now for good comments?! Or are these the sneaky, Whose Line Is It Anyways, points?
They’re probably like QI points. You get them for being suitably interesting, but nobody understands how they’re actully given out.
I think you’ve also just summed up Batman.
…ok, so who else on the scene is a Hot Dad. Superman? He’s got a kid now, I think.
I knew it. Was hyped. Am not disappointed.
Why is this the first I’m hearing of this game
Wait, is Commander bi? Or just joking?
It’s come up a couple times.
Oh YEAH! I forgot he had a bf. Wow…that was so long ago. Congrats on having a long enough run that even after reading through it twice I still forget some details :P
So, if you don’t mind me asking, was his orientation something you had in mind from the beginning and deliberately planned? or just something that kinda came up on a whim? The Commander (and to a lesser extent most of the male characters) seems, in many ways, to be a walking deconstruction of masculine stereotypes and machismo tropes. Is that the reason you decided to make him bi, because “real men” can’t be bi? Or am I overanalyzing this?
He was intended to be bi before the comic even existed. I planned that if I made it to the final round of the character tournament I originally designed and never used him for, I was going to make him ride off into the sunset with whoever the other character was.
Now THAT would have gotten some wonderful responses out of the rest of the participants!
NSFW
http://oglaf.com/sport/
Aww shit that’s hilarious.
Thank you for the behind-the-scenes exclusives! :D
It also makes writing easier in a way, since you can always introduce a love interest(or former love interest) that suits the story without worrying if their gender fits into it. Tank wouldn’t have worked as well if Commander were straight or experimenting, and Jones would have to change if he were gay.
That very probably wasn’t a factor, but still.
as an odd mix of this strip and the first one you linked, Rob was pretty daddish when he performed with babymetal
There’s only one logical course of action here, Jones.
Suggest a threesome.
I am fucking dyinggggg.
I’ve enjoyed all of your comics, even if you do feel like some of them have been an exercise in comedic and artistic minimalism, but SHIT. shiiiiit.
(all the hot single dads to get stalked and eaten by xenomons; Dream DaddyXPokemonXAlien fic is gogogo)
So Jones just cbf with commitedness (while she’s evidently comfortable with longtermness and stability, every time we’ve seen her engage with something that, like, made her put it down on paper, she’s noped out- serial hobbyist), whereas Lobster is like, proton-proton interactions, consciously choosing not to be relationship commits again despite a basic personality predisposition towards it.
I like that they both arrive at the same mental space from totally different directions
Good grief I know his siblings said that he sucks at being single but seriously?
Protect him from himself.
NGL it would kind of make me all kinds of happy to see the Commander marry a hot single dad and see him pull his hair out over his chronic monogamy issues. Plus then the current kiddos get new step-sibs to sick their pet bugs on. Win-win all around.
But seriously, I would throw money at this game if it had Commander DLC.
I’m not buying it unless it features Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, Richard Armitage, and Matthew Mercer, AT LEAST.
…Dammit, I have a type, don’t I?
traditionally attractive white men who work in genre media?
I second this whole heartedly.
Third. I’d buy that.
I really hope this game can support mods, because if it does, I’m sure someone will make a Commander addon.
You know that Jones is Commander’s next ex-wife. It’s his curse, he’s the sweetest guy alive but the Fates conspire against him.
I’m pretty sure Jones herself is the greatest barrier to that.
The serious nature of his face in that last panel perfectly portrays just how quickly this could escalate. I can see his daughter teaching her siblings all about how to introduce creepy crawly friends to daddy and him taking it like champ.
Hmm. So if a nearing drive detector is nearby would it would say “Ludicrous”? Bad pun. I’ll get tonthe dolor meself.
Are the guys in the first panel supposed to look like relatively “normal”, everyday versions of Commander and Ganondorf? Or is it just me?
Ganondorf is “hot”, but no daddy. His 1000 sisters remind him CONSTANTLY.
To say nothing of his moms. “When are you going to give us some granddaughters? I’m 380, I’m not getting any younger. And just look at your mother, 400 and not a grandchild to her name.”
How about Bowser?
Single dad.
Hot in many ways.
You haven’t seen Dream Daddy? The dating game where you date hot Dads? It looks fantastic. That’s two dads from that game! here is a picture.
http://www.hardcoregamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/dreamdaddy.jpg
That last panel cracks me up. And Jones’s expression in response.
Yes, she’s got that look like: “well that wasn’t was I was expecting”
I second all of this. It’s great.
Can I have one without the “dad” aspect?
Ha, IKR?
You’re like, “I wanna keep it casual” and he’s like, “Cool, how ’bout you babysit my kids for a week with my husband while I’m out of town” and you’re like, “this request is not at all casual and I don’t want to fuck up your kids because we bonded but I have to be out of town for months for work and they’re too young to understand what that means and they think it’s their fault I disappeared!” and then he breaks up with you because he doesn’t understand that ‘casual’ means ‘sometimes I’m going to be out of town for months for work and it’s not about you’.
Or maybe that was just me. Maybe there’re nonweird dads out there. :|
Y’see Jones, your awfulness is like a shield. A shield that protects me from love. I need that shield.
kinda how a Morty protects his Rick
It makes so much SENSE
c’mon Jones, do it for your Brommander
COMMANDER IS CANONICALLY BI. *swoon* <3 <3 <3
We’ve known that for a while now.
And I didn’t see the below comment before I replied.
Somehow I’d forgotten that he was before–and that I’d commented, happily squeeing. *It’s Mister Short-Term Memory!*
jones goes to the bathroom and when she comes back they all having matching wedding rings
The Commander is a buff hairy precious Cinnamon Bun, Jones must protect him
I’ve always found it interesting (and refreshing) that Commander’s need to always be in a relationship is portrayed as slightly unhealthy.
Kind of wonder what caused the “nesting drive” but it’s not like everything has to make sense.
I figure when they grow you in a bell jar and raise you in a secret military base somewhere, you might decide families and picket fences and suburbs and all that look pretty fun and novel somewhere along the lines.
Hahahaha he’s basically living the Somewhere That’s Green number in Little Shop of Horrors.
Dat 4th panel expression… dying
Jones emits the aura of “Non-commitment” and protects Commander from his natural instinct XD
Now I’ve got this image, of a group of pastors and clergy and priests and monks and celebrants and what-have-you paying Jones to go on vacation for all of June, explicitly because she makes any couple she walks by reconsider the whole “getting married” thing at the last second, and it’s really screwing up everyone’s schedules to have these waves of cancellations whenever she goes jogging…
I got this mental image. Commander goes up to one of those hot dads to talk, they smile, they chat, all jolly and friendly.
The next scene has Commander standing at the altar with this part-confused/part-horrified “How the hell did this happen” kind of face.
Better if it’s several of them at the same time, and the priest is like “I don’t agree with it, but I just can’t deny it!” And the Commander looks even more freaked out.
I can’t stop looking at that last panel! I want to frame this whole comic right here!
“Jones, ah got enough Dad Baggage as it is, I don’t need anymore. I call it Daggage.”
“No you don’t.”
“I do now!”
Are they at a gay bar and a bunch of dads are bragging; or is it single fathers night at regular bar and Jones is teasing Lobster? I don’t care if they are at a gar bar, Id just like an answer, its been bothering me the last two days.
A regular bar with an unusually high number of single dads who showed up unexpectedly and started flirting with each other.
Wait a sec, is the dating sim supposed to be for girls or gay men? Cause I have a friend (female) who loves dating sims and I was thinking of pointing her this way, but if the characters are specifically gay I might reconsider
I probably will anyways but still, I’m curious now.
If women want to play a dad dating other dads it’s a game for them.
The character you play as is a male dad. There’s not really a gender barrier on players.
You can be trans-male dad too if you desire as well as being either bi or or gay, as well as if you’re actually biolocally related to your daughter (You can choose binders during character creation and choose dialogue options that imply the gender of the other parent of your child, and if she’s yours naturally via some method or adopted.) While you’re limited to “Male dad” that’s actually a pretty broad range of characters .
Plenty of females who play dating sims love this kind of stuff.
I live in a religious area, so people are a little more sensitive about that kinda stuff here. Then I remembered that all my friends are awesome and don’t give a fuck about all that, so I immediately shoved this game down her throat (metaphorically)
I got to say that is very cute. He likes the idea of Settling down so much, that being left alone for to long with other people that want to settle down, he’ll probably be married again in a month. hehe
The Dad and FAMILY URGE is strong in this one.
Hes not just Commander Bad Ass, hes Dad Bad Ass.
Commandad Bad Ass
Commander Dad Ass?
And this would be the comic that made me return to the archives. Thanks for everything, Coelasquid, especially being consistently awesome.
This is the funniest take on commitment issues I’ve ever seen.
*checks link*
Oh! I see it now,
At first I just thought those guys were an even more masculine Lúcio and one of Commander’s great ancestors
Dude, I am unbelievably ready to PRETEND TO DATE HOT DADS! I was admittedly not expecting game grumps during my break from watching game grumps, it’s funny how you sometimes forget content creators access the same internet as you hehe
there is something a little disturbing but DEFINETLY HOT in what the Commander says…makes me more attracted to him…wonder why. lol
Kept trying to figure out why Commander didn’t look at himself. Then it hit me — his face is naked. There’s no ‘stubble shadow’; I’m so used to seeing it that without it, he looks odd.
Commander’s expression in the last panel is perfect.
How do we get the Game Grumps to add Commander to the game? I’ll pay for the DLC. I fucking need this, Kelly. I might die otherwise.
Ooh, the color work on this one is really pretty! Nice!
Holy shit the colors are phenomenal in this one, amazing.
So , he will take the D ?!
Ahahaha! Yeah… been somewhere similar to that. :D (No, I don’t mean the background.)
the punchline ENDED me good god