Commander got to choose beween taking French or Yautja in Middle school
September 11, 2017
2:54 am
Saw Predator this week at a Throwback Thursday screening, we wondered what the Predator was clicking about through the whole movie, decided they must be the Predator version of the sassy action man one-liners Schwarzenegger and his boys were all dropping.
First?
Just odd that there’s no other comments here.
Feels weird beating everyone to the new comic.
Literally nobody cares that you’re first.
Hey, don’t assume things about me.
Are they assuming something about myself?
They always do!
um what??
Yes? Is something troubling you?
No, I’m good.
I had some indigestion earlier, but I’m fine.
My stomach is just fine, thank you very much.
Can’t help you here. He didn’t say you were doing anything, just that you always do.
Are you going to finish that sentence?
They stared a chain. Stop it you guys.
I’LL STOP WHEN I WANT
Yet you cared enough to comment on it? Shh, let this poor person have their little moment, it doesn’t hurt anyone beyond a minor annoyance.
Buurrrnnnn.
I care immensely.
I care.
I also care.
To die.
Here’s someone who doesn’t care so much that I had to say it for him:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg
I don’t mean to be an ass hole, but you forgot the ‘C’ in Choose there Coelasquid.
Spent like 3 minutes trying to figure out what “hoose” meant, and if it was some oddball word that’s usually buried deep in the Dictionary.
The moose is loose in the hoose.
Take it to the Hoosegow!
But while we’re being anal, I am looking for a word that is “compatible”, with one of the panels above. Unless that’s a foreign spelling of the word.
That’s just how Commander pronounces it. Like how every so often he replaces a letter or two with an apostrophe.
“Beween”, also. Missing the “t”.
Trade partners huh? I wonder what sorta goods they accepted and what they traded. I’d imagine it’d be something along the lines of knuckle sandwiches and cans of whoopass.
Probably new things to hunt in new exotic places, and the animal parts, pelt, and meat that come with hunting.
Maybe also fine art and delicate pottery.
They need to go after those new Aliens that Mr. Fish puked up a couple weeks back.
Leave those (horrifying) babies alone :P
They might be into australian outback vacations with wildlife encounters, and they might just (only barely) be capable of fending off the honeybadger infestation.
Could also be that all the predators we see are just their races version of rich people going on safari to kill stuff and feel more manly for it. That would explain why we could become trade partners if it turned out that most of them aren’t out for blood.
I thought their entire culture revolved around the hunt, to the point that their governments ran on it?
That’s the kind of blanket stereotyping we need to move past by the time we reach the future Captain Milkshakes *wags finger*.
The government doesn’t run on it, no. It’s inconsistent depending on if you’re going by the Aliens vs Predator continuity, the continuity created by the Alien vs Predator movies, or the new continuity created by the Prometheus clusterfuckery…
But going by classic, established-by-the-original-AvP continuity that gave the preds the name “yautja…” The hunt is essentially an elaborate method of making the males prove they’re worthy to be considered people and to eventually earn breeding rights in a brutal society run by larger, stronger, and much more aggressive women who view most males as disposable sub-people whose only value in being allowed to live is not making their mama bear mom mad at you. Being a male pred really, really sucks and there’s like, an 8 in 10 chance you won’t survive long enough to be seen as a person even after spending as much as 70 years scrambling along the bottom and competing violently with other males for rank on nomadic clanships where you’re safe from the females.
Wait…so those big Yautja in the ‘Predators’ movie that strung up a smaller Predator were female?
No. They were another species that evolved alongside standard yautja. Compare it to Cro-magnons and Neanderthals, except in this case the Neanderthals didn’t go extinct while failing to adapt to a changing climate. Those three specifically, Berserker, Falconer, and Tracker, were “bad bloods.” Criminals who violated the laws of the hunt for whatever reason. I guess they just thought it was funner this way, or maybe they were from the “Killer Clans” introduced in the finale of Machiko Noguchi’s trilogy of comic arcs. Which I’m intensely thankful for, because the original idea for that movie was so insanely stupid.
But it’s really kinda sketchy on where we can place them continuity-wise in the wider sense, they may or may not be a thing in the older, Aliens vs Predator continuity. If they are from the Killer Clans, then I suppose Predator: Prey to the Heavens and AvP: Three World War would place them in the classic Universe. They’ve been all but forgotten in the god awful and inconsistent continuity now being made by Titans Books, but the guy who writes that proudly admitted that all he did to prepare for writing the preds was read a Wikipedia article. So he probably has no idea they were ever a thing since he’s never seen a Predator movie or read any of the comics or novels. Then there are the bios the toy company NECA gave to new “super predator” characters they’ve made as toys… But not much merit you can really give that.
As a side note, we really only ever saw things from the perspective of male yautja in the novels. So we honestly can’t even say with certainty that females care about the laws or honor code the males abide by at all. That could be a subcultural thing that just means a lot to them, and the females just let the males play their little games so long as the ones who come back looking for some breeding rights are just what’s left over after “weeding out the weak.”
And that’s why their species died out at the first hint of a “Hunt for your New Sexy Shoes” sale on Thanksgiving morning.
Yes, the preds we see in the films are actualy rather coward and sadistic tough guy wannabees. I would like it if there was some real cases of manlyness among them.
The Predator 2 Yaoutja was pretty tough.
I freaking loved Predator 2. And AvP.
Wolf was the only decent thing from AvP:R.
See, Wolf is basically a Cleaner. Whenever a hunt goes horribly wrong (Like “Troupe has been wiped out and/or infected by Xenomorphs” horribly wrong), there needs to be someone who goes in and cleans up the mess made by the troupe. Those people are Cleaners. Retired Hunters who decided to retire at the peak of their careers, Cleaners tend to have a LOT of fun toys to play with.
It’s my headcanon that Cleaners don’t make breeding requests, Cleaners GET breeding requests.
Were I to give the crew of Requiem any credit, I’d say that Wolf is a massive reference to Winston “The Wolf” Wolfe from Pulp Fiction.
I like that movie too. By the end of the movie, Danny Glover saw the kind of shit that literally turned him white.
;)
Booze. The answer’s always going to default to booze, chocolate, and Swedish meatballs.
Surprisingly Yautja make some pretty awesome meatballs. Ethically sourced even.
Fishnet Shirts, Laser Cannons, Dubstep Music, and Papayas
Don’t let anyone fool you, Papayas are a non earth native plant. Dub originated from Predator Opera.
The humans of Commander’s time have nearly perfected the creation of species like the T. Rex. We probably use mass cloning cats or something to produce huge amounts of deadly earth predators from across all ages for them to hunt, in exchange for artifacts from parts of our history we’ve forgotten about and some of the finest metallurgy products in the universe. They also, if I remember Predator 2 correctly, really enjoy beef. And the future space government probably hires Yautja “PMCs” from time to time.
Cardigans, mostly.
Once more I am impressed by the commanders diversity. I never even mastered Spanish when I was in school
I actually learned how to make the Predator clicky noise when I was 14. Just gotta let air slowly bubble out of your epiglottis. It feels kinda nice, like humming.
I do that all the time and it freaks out cats, dogs, small children, and men that try to crowd me on the bus.
…Well, put me in overshoes and call me a duck. It works.
If you release the little air bubbles too quickly, though, the sound turns from Yajuta clicking into a rather lupine growl.
I sort of semi-consciously make that noise when I see a hottie out in public.. guess I’m a sexual Predator..
That was such a great era for movies. Predator, Terminator, mad max, alien etc. The 80’s and 90’s were the golden age of movies. these days we just get all this marvel crap.
Lots of good series these days tho.
Yes but when it comes to manlyness few modern films, especialy not the superhero ones, can match classics like Predator.
You mean all the Marvel stuff the only good thing in theaters in this era.
….Well now if I ever watch Predator again I’m never going to stop thinking about ways the Predator is dropping One Liners on the guys. THANKS A LOT COELASQUID.
No seriously thanks. :D
We need someone to produce a subtitled version of key scenes…
Or to film a Yautja version: “It started as a carefree vacation on a backwater planet, but soon friendly family-man K’vin dis covered why it was only ‘mostly’ harmless…”
Eh, the Yautja in Predator was a”Bad Blood”, a coward and a cheat for denying his killer his rightful prize.
Huh, my understanding was that the Yautja blow themselves up to keep their technology from falling into the hands of other species.
“K’vin had broken the most important rule of all, he forgot his towel.”
So, sort of like an alien “Jaws”. Dude goes out fishing/hunting, winds up fighting an oversized super-shark/Schwarzenegger, ends with a big explosion?
Eeeeee! Nerd freak out over someone else knowing the actual name of the species. Normally one only finds it in certain novels.
Wonder if the fact that the females are much larger than the males might come up.
So after enough humans out-smart and out-hunt a predator them aliens get all buddy-buddy with the species? Is being trade partners (which suggests some form of diplomatic relations already set up earlier) make humans not game anymore? Or do the preds just need to fill out more paperwork to go on a safari to Earth?
Hard to think of something as a “game animal” once it masters technology comparable to your own, such that you’re enticed to trade for it. It learns your language and even appreciates your humor…
Also, not sure they’d have much of a choice – 1980s humanity was enough of a challenge, Interplanetary Time Traveling humans would be… cause for bigger guns, at least.
Then again, the implied zeitgeist of the Commander’s time makes it seem plausible that the Yautja and their culture would be very popular all around.
Whatever the dynamic is, I’m sure it’d be unrecognizable.
They also had a habit of picking on bad guys. It’s hard to take Soccer Dad Joe seriously when he can’t even send a passive aggressive e-mail to Stan from work about stealing his sandwich out of the fridge every day.
Well we keep forgetting it’s a movie. Fiction.
Dude’s just an action movie star from another planet, it’s like having Jet Li show up as Crazy Kung Fu Dude.
Ten to one, the Yautja are providing precision chrome and neon construction for the nondescript space future.
Sadly they’ve also overtaken India in providing crappy first-level tech support.
As I understand it, they recently made a movie titled “Predators,” with this EXACT PREMISE.
It starts with a guy falling towards the ground… on an alien planet. Because he’s a condemned criminal who’s been dropped there to be hunted by the Yautja Predator guys. Because humanity and the Predators are now trading partners and BFFs, and this is a win-win situation. Instead of wandering into a city and hunting civilians who don’t even know what’s going on, they get to face hardened killers who can provide a real challenge.
I don’t recall anything about humans and yautja being trading partners – I thought they were all just kidnapped?
Yes, from what I recall, a number of the people there were basically snatched off a battlefield, though there were at least two straight up murders who weren’t anywhere near combat at the time they were taken. An early theory some of them had was that they were killed in battle and this strange jungle place was Hell.
Billy: “Knife…to meet you.”
Dillon: “This is what happens when you’re…disarmed”
Mac: “You’re crawling under a tree, but I’m getting…ahead.”
I cannot express how much better this made my Monday. Thank you for everything you do Kelly.
Sounds a lot like the Vikings. Initially, they were a terror, but then they settled down and started trading.
There is a YouTube video of the Predator’s emo son. Now I cannot get it out of my head, I find now amusing to have a case of brainworm yautja.
Maybe there’s a sorta poetry cafe guys can go to, but instead of slam poetry they can knock out killer one liners.
Ok, so in the MGDMT universe (and maybe our own, I’m not really sure Area 51 is a hoax or conspiracy anymore) not only are the Yautja real, but one actually either played a Yautja hunter or acted as a consultant on writing the Yautja dialogue. Either way, this means that the Yautja have secretly had some form of relationship with the US in secret since the 80s which was only revealed once humanity created reliable FTL travel. Also, humanity has focused on science based in biology and genetics, while the Yautja clearly have the edge in particle manipulation, energy manipulation, and metallurgy. This means that the Yautja have a very well established tradition of scientific progress in physics and chemistry. Also, ten bucks say that there are Human-Yautja hybrids because of human genetic mastery in this universe (since according to multiverse theory, there are an infinite number of universes, meaning there is a universe where MGDMT is actual reality) because, lets face it, there would be humans totally into that. Also, my personal theory is that the Yautja in the Predator series are all retired members of the Yautja military (possibly special forces) who want to relive their glory days or find a good death against a worthy opponent Viking style. This is because of their honor code of not killing unarmed civilians, pregnant women, or terminally ill individuals and sparing and rewarding those who kill a member of their hunting party. Most of this honor code was shown in Predator 2. Additionally in Predator 2, aside from a couple cops and one guy on a subway train who bought a gun for self defense, all of the victims of the Yautja hunter are gansters who have turned LA into a literal war zone over the illicit drug industry. If the Yautja hunter in Predator hadn’t done sufficient research, it would have been very easy for him to mistake the plainclothes detectives and that one guy on the bus as parts of the gangs causing chaos. For all we know, the Yautja of Predator 2 is trying to go Punisher on the gangs of LA too get his trophies, and some Yautja hunters are actually a form of some sort of justicar-type guild who attempt to end conflicts that more “primitive” species create by killing the armed parties involved. Of course that’s all just a theory.
I always presumed the clicking was some sort of sonar since the yautja clearly have different vocalizations for verbal communication. The clicking also always seems to precede them taking a shot or performing a big leap, both of which are situations where they would need to gauge distance.
But maybe I just watch too many nature documentaries.
I like this Idea. Head Canon Accepted
Well given they can perfectly mimic speech they hear, that definitely sounds like a possibility.
I’ve been pretty darned depressed for A couple of months, thank you for giving me my first laugh in a long while!
If nothing else you may laugh at me. https://seuraaron.deviantart.com/
This comic made me read the full Xenoverse wiki page for the Yautja.
What are you doing to me, Coelasquid?!
If nothing else you may laugh at me. https://seuraaron.deviantart.com/
I always forget what Caolisqud said that Commander sounds like, but I always imagine it’s kind of like Marcus Fenix.
I tend to give him a heavy Texas Drawl when I’m reading the comics out loud.
For reference, I make Jared sound like he’s whining about EVERYTHING.
Now, if only we could get John St John to read aloud the “Mars Needs Moms/Duke Nukem” comic
he sounds like he is gargling tar, was the description I remember, from the story arc where most of the guys got turned into anime characters after an encounter with infected Nier.
I now imagine his retort to Ahnuld’s famous description is, “Not as ugly as your English!”
I’m looking at the amount of detailing on panel 1 compared to the others, and the only excuse that pops into my head is that Coelasquid has been itching to draw hot Yautja dads in fishnet shirts for a while now…