He’s probably too fuzzy to be a Chippendale
September 25, 2017
2:41 am
I dunno that for fact, I just get the impression it’s an occupation where they probably require you to be pretty smooth and hairless.
Manly Guys Doing Manly Things
Updated Mondays or whenever I feel like it
Oh my. What else has commander done in his theoretically near-infinite spare time? Anyone else see him doing a one-man musical ala Hardcore Henry? Anyone? I’d love to see him do that, though thinking of a good song in particular to do as a duo with yourself is hard.
I could totally see the Commander rocking the bagpipes.
He did wear a kilt that one time Jared saw him working on his car, so maybe he does have a good set of pipes. Can’t say for sure, but if his language class in high school was Yautja, I feel like he could’ve had bagpipes in his music class.
I could imagine Commander rocking the pipes in a Too Many Zooz style. I’d dig it super hard.
Time-travel musical. He goes back to beginnings of songs to assist himself.
Would that be considered canon?
*groan* Good one, CADirk
A one-man band with multiple parts?
So basically this? https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/omelette-sandwich
Ah, hello fellow homestuck.
Your chosen characters happen to be the last two people anyone wants to run into…Well besides the big bad and his puppet.
I can totally believe any minute he’s going to be revealed to be the star in an ongoing Tony award winning broadway play and realize “Oh, right, this is when I did that.”
This is now headcanon to me
He’s actually in disguise as Lin-Manuel Miranda.
I’m not sure his spare time is near-infinite. He can travel anywhere, but he’s only alive for 100 years (or w/e). He can live his 100 years whenever he wants, but HE doesn’t de-age when he travels back in time, so his body ages normally. If he spends 20 years in the past then returns to the future, he’s 20 years older.
At least, that’s what I assume based on the comics that show him travelling and coming back with his beard.
100 years just being a random length of time. I don’t know what the ACTUAL lifespan of a super-soldier from the future is.
sort of depends. can be anything from a few seconds after the ramp goes down, to years.
Do they make you wear the helmet the whole time, or does the audience see your face? Do you have a name? Is your rank Ensign? Redshirt?
You’re forgetting a crucial and important factor of Manly Guys Cannon:
Time Travel only works when you don’t think about time travel.
I want theoretically infinite spare time now….
Too fuzzy or not, now all I can think about is him wearing that damn bowtie!
And very little else.
The thirst is real here.
Oh so real….
I know, right? If Coelasquid did a picture of the Commander dressed like a Chippendale, that would be so awesome.
unless of course he drags along jared and they’re dressed at the rescue rangers.
This is now what I want for christmas
But which is Chip and which is Dale?
It’d make more sense to me for Jared to be Chip because he wants to be cool like Indiana Jones, while Commander is laid-back enough to rock the Hawaiian-shirt look.
How would that not be more awesome?
How about Jonesie dressed as Gadget and NR fish as Buzzer.
Jonesy already has Chip’s look going for her, Commander would make a fine Monterey Jack, and Jared as Dale would work. I agree that Mr Fish as Zipper would be the best thing ever.
Not sure who’d be Gadget in this lineup. Actually, Junebug would make a great Gadget. Maybe with Sam as Zipper. That would be adorable.
Man, now I really want this to happen. Especially if it happens on Halloween.
Holy shit, yes. Jared as Chip, Rock as Dale, Jones as Gadget and Mr Fish as Buzzer is all fantastic, but who’s going to be Monty? One of the other super soldiers? (I can’t remember any of their names offhand)
I thought maybe The daughter would be Chip and Rock would be Monty. And Canada Guy is just dumb enough to be Fat Cat.
Don’t forget the G-String. After all, it wouldn’t do Rock & Jones’ relationship much good if he wears ONLY a bowtie. It might be enough to make the poor gal faint…
The third panel is killing me. Her eyes, the realization!
And the kettle calling the pot black. XD
So are you saying Jet the beautiful hairless marine mammal could be a Chippendale?
My mind has been blown by this possibility.
Ohhh I bet Ex-Mrs. Lobster really loved that part of him.
A tub of spacefuture foundation, two hours with a makeup brush, and he’s got you covered.
Yeah, I know for a fact Chippendales doesn’t hire hairy men. I was in the Full Monty, and there is a line about how Chippendales doesn’t have men with chest hair.
My first thought when I heard “Chippendale” was the villain from the Tick. I was wondering how chair-head and Commander were similar. Then I read the comments and it makes more sense.
LOL MY first thought was of an old cartoon show called “Chip ‘n Dale:Rescue Rangers”.
And Chip ‘n Dale were named after Chippendale, though probably the furniture. Probably.
(I miss Chairface. There’s probably no way they’d have him on the new show.)
There was a gag about “Chip ‘n’ Dale Dancers” on an episode of House of Mouse.
I remember Chip and Dale running around in mini cuffs though… Can´t remember if they had bow ties as well.
Yes, the characters of Chip and Dale predate the erotic dancing company by decades.
I’m sure the Commander could shave for a show and it would’ve grown back by next morning.
Knowing the commander, it would grow back mid show. I don’t think that would really help the act.
I’d pay to see that.
we did see what happens when he forgets to shave in the morning
That wasn’t even morning, that was the mid-afternoon touch-up.
The Commander seems very amused. Hrm: “Nah, they wanted me to shave off my chest hair and that just wasn’t happening. I did once crash a Chippendale’s though, while drunk, and was well received. By the customers, anyway.”
If I remember well, Commander has no issues with shaving any hair on his body. It’s just that it’ll grow back in roughly half an hour…
I must be terribly naive. I thought they ment Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers. As in he’s going to come to their rescue and fix their washing machine. Never heard of a Chippendale before. You learn something new everyday.
I’m reasonably certain Commander could just flex real hard and push out some more hair if he wanted to.
I’m suddenly reminded of chris farley patrick swayze as chippendale dancers. Little weird as Commander isn’t built like either of them.
I would guess the Commander is so manly that Chippendales would waive their no chest hair requirement.
Wait, do we know who that is in the first panel? Have we met them before or is it just a random friend of Jones’ who’s face we don’t even need to see?
It’s her roommate, she was in another strip, I don’t think I ever named her.
I was really confused as to who Jones was talking to and I actually assumed it was Commander at first. Never realized the last panel was her telling him about what was said and them him giving her some hell for it.
The real question is, did he fix the washing machine while he was there, or is he the hand-washing type? For all we know, he’s scrubbing that plate with a T-shirt.
Well he wasn’t any good at fixing a computer but maybe family life taught him some necessary skills.
Or he could just report it last month, so the Landlord fixes/replaces it when he gets there?
Now we are thinking in Time Travel!
He’s good with machinery, not computers. Fixed his car up, engineered a lot of the shit they did to Tank’s system, just doesn’t do well with programming.
So he could fix a computer, if the problem is with the hardware but not if it’s the software?
Or do he just not care to know about computers, including how to figure out what parts are busted?
That must be why he has an old car and not a flying car. The old ones don’t have computers in them.
10 bucks says he couldn’t fix the washer so he offered a short-term solution of scrubbing the clothes on his washboard abs (which are usually a bit less literal).
There should be a market for chest hair contests right? http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/bros-before-hos
I have no idea what “chippendale” means, and google isn’t helping much (unless the Commander is furniture designed by Thomas Chippendale, whatever that implies). Little help?
Chippendale in this context refers to Chippendale dancers, male exotic dancers whose typical defining feature, aside from oiled musculature, is a shirt collar and bow tie absent the related shirt.
Knowing Rock, it’ll end up part-abacus.
Perhaps hotter than Chippendales. I’ve never cared for the shaved-chest look.
Decided to google chippendales because i assumed it was some sort of electronics repair shop. ended with moderate to severe levels of regret for googling it.
-gasp- Jones has a washing machine now?
Who is the lady in panel 1? Obviously, she is Jones’ roommate, but does she have a name? Have we seen her before?
Not necessarily roommate. She could live in a different apartment in the same building, with all apartments in the building sharing a common Laundry Room. In fact, I’d call that by far the more likely option, as I feel like we would have heard about her before if she was an actual roommate.
Good point. So, she is likely some person we’ve never seen before? (That is perfectly fine. I just want to make sure I’m not missing something.)
Jones does have a roommate, we’ve seen her before. Hard to tell if it’s the same woman as this comic, but could be.
http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/i-dont-blame-her-man-bras-are-not-easy-to-wash
Could just as easily be that her old roommate left and this one is different. I suspect we’ll know for sure once the page is colored.
Thanks.
A bow tie… and nothing eeeeeeeellllssssseeee.
This one made me smile :) I love it
So yeah, after seeing a ‘Magic Mike’ inspired art session of the DC Side Kicks, (Nightwing, Red Hood, Superboy, etc.) I would Beg to see your version of things with the Commander and his posse. Commander, Ganondorf, Guile… come on people make suggestions, we have to see this! :)
+1
Also, Kratos.
I can totally imagine Jones calling Commander and the first thing out of her mouth wasn’t “Can you fix a washing machine” but “Hey, have you ever been a Chippendale’s Dancer?”
Commander: A little context would be good for this conversation
The Chippendales arbitrary requirements is one of the primary reasons Chris Farley will forever be the greatest Chippendale EVAR!
the thirst is soooo damn real xD one thing is chippendale commander but then we top it off with him all smug and domesticated. i get that jones has commitment issues. its just that i dont get how she can keep them up round commander. daaaamn
Now i’m wondering if Jones’ tiny sofa could withstand the combined weight of Jonesy and Commander giving her a lapdance.
Could JONESY withstand that weight? The Commander is not a small man.
I think she could for a while, especially if something hot is making it worth it.
I think that there is more posibility that CB engages in a gentlemanly victorian rap battle with Ernest Hemingway, that seeing him in kilt, boots and bowtie. Again, do not think in time travel.
The best part is that we don’t know if he’s just fooling around on her assumption, or making a joke on the fact that he DID do it.
Between being so hirsute & his sheer size, The Commander is much closer to looking like a bear than either of those two famous chipmunks…
Commander is totaly a gay bear stereotype. Well, bi bear, close enough.
Eh, he’s from the future. He probably has a gizmo that removes all his body hair in a second. That’s how the future works, right?
Frankly at this moment, I now want to see a comic where he’s hairless due to a mission requirement and see him sliding all over the place and unable to grab things because he’s frictionless without any hair.
I looked up what chippendale meant, I hardly see what’s wrong with building furniture in a elegant albeit antiquated and rather frilly style.
Now look up chippendales, with an s on the end. With google image search.
Wear the bow tie. Bow ties are cool.
I legit thought this was referring to rescue rangers until I looked up what ‘a chippendale’ was.
So while it looks like Chippendales now hires almost exclusively hairless hunks, it appears that this was NOT the case back in the 60’s-early 80’s, so I’m just sayin. If anyone ever wanted to draw The Commander with a mullet and a bow tie and little else, there’s some precedent…
is it bad I WOULD pay him for full monthy then pay him extra to service his sexy ass? lol
Little do they realize, the roomie actually thinks the Commander is actually a wooden desk.
This page made me laugh out loud!
Thank you. Thank you fr giving me a reason to link this. http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/chippendales/3506016?snl=1
Coelasquid’s comment below the comic in relation to Commander B’s body hair reminds me of this:
https://youtu.be/mp_w0xZ9XFg?t=7m
That reminds me of the “Huevo Splash” part of a comedy sketch by Pablo Francisco:
https://youtu.be/YfySdCNaYyM <-(linking more for the audio, but the accompanying visual make it pretty funny, too)
It is my hope that one day I, too, will be known to have such an eclectic group of hobbies that a Chippendale dancer is plausible.
Has the Commander got a really high sink or is he crouching down/sitting on a stool?
Probably a really high sink – he is a big enough guy that his house is likely customized for his comfort.
Heh, took me a Bit to realize that the one standing over the Washing Machine wasn’t Jones… And I’m guessing the reason Commander said that, is because he heard their conversation and is amused.
Uh… does everyone heard about a guy in a unicycle playing flaming bagpipes (the unipiper) ? That’s what imagined seeing the third panel. But most likely, the washer now has light speed, ridiculous speed and ludicrous speed after CB … upgraded it.
Too fuzzy to be a Chippendale Dancer, but just fuzzy enough to be a Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Ranger!
Did anyone got the innuendo besides me? Look for William Masters and you’ll get the bowtie reference.
Honestly, he’d look good with a bowtie, i’m sure.
Does this means Jones will actually start washing her clothes now instead of buying new ones?
Please please please give us Chip-mander art. I wanna see him in the bow tie.
For the love of all that is holy and unholy! Do it!
I wouldn’t mind a fuzzy Chippendale dancer.