He didn’t even get extra bullets, he has to whittle them himself
October 30, 2017
2:57 am
His role as a Commander probably mostly involves being a meat shield and making dramatic bowflex poses while he pulls down trees to make lean-tos.
Well he has to look the part of his name.
Hard to look badass when you’re covered in poison ivy rash and calamine, though.
I’m sure he can shed his skin. Or at lease peel it off in big patches.
Technically he’s immune to small arms fire, so he’s pretty effective as a meat shield.
…On the other hand, speaking as someone who’s had poison oak rashes… I can completely understand his desire for proper protection…
Hey, any swelling only makes him a bigger and more effective meat shield. Maybe that was the Command’s idea?
Knowing military command as I do, this is a likely scenario
It is entirely possible to develop a resistance to both poison oak and poison ivy. I’ve done it before. It doesn’t take long, about the length of a summer with prolonged exposure, by my experience. I spent a couple of summers helping to clear my parent’s land of poison ivy and poison oak, as well as all the other vines that infested their trees. First couple of days that I started helping, I was absolutely miserable, my body was one giant rash. Now I can handle the plant directly with my bare skin, and the only reaction I get is turning a little pink in the affected area for a day or so. No itching, no rash.
He’s a genetically engineered super soldier, I kind of expect him to be fairly resistant to toxins already. Being incapacitated by rashes just isn’t cool.
Most people, especially experienced bushcrafters I’ve seen, claim the opposite – more exposure reduces resistance. You might start almost unaffected by it, and end up itchy from a downwind breeze after a while.
And then there’s folks like me, who’re lucky enough to be born immune. I don’t even know what poison ivy looks like, despite having apparently played in patches of it as a child without knowing.
I have read and been told, so who knows if this is the truth, that poison ivy/oak is a pain. You can be immune for a long time, you can gain immunity, but then one day you will find that it suddenly doesn’t work at all.
Always avoid both if you can.
I think that’s true, just anecdotally. My husband goes through phases of being completely resistant and needing to go get a steroid shot (the sign that resistance has worn off.) He’ll be good for a couple summers, and then woops! time to go to the urgent care.
Confirmed. I played in the woods all the time as a child, and I caught it once really badly then never again. Fast forward to my late 20’s, and all of the sudden I am allergically sensitive to latex (which I wasn’t when I cooked for years using latex gloves), antiperspirant (which I had been using since I was about 11), and finally Poison Ivy – which I didn’t even touch, but only touched things my wife had touched after doing some maintenance on her aunt’s garden. Since I hadn’t had a reaction since I was 4, I didn’t even bother trying to be careful. Also, strangely, a weedy vine known as Japanese Hops caused me to break out and my skin to burn for weeks when I brushed up against it.
Point being, yes, allergies come and go, so always be careful.
If I were a mad scientist, I would hunt you down for your genetics…or just ask for a lock of hair if you were cool with it.
I don’t think it was genetics. If my understanding of immune systems is correct, he simply acclimated as a child due to aforementioned playing around in it, and therefore isn’t “allergic” (as everyone technically is to get a reaction out of things like that, or mosquito venom) now that he’s all grown up.
Protip: poisen oak/ivy immunity can flip on you. yiou can start off immune and then due to genetics and cells being weird suddenly be allergic to it, and vice verse.One of the fire crew members I worked with learned this first hand, after being immune for years he gets into a patch of poisen oak and swelled up like a toad. At least he wasn’t like the poor bastards who were breathing in aresolized poisen oak oils off one of the fires on the coast.
My dad wasn’t allergic to poison ivy when he was working as a park ranger, but still avoids it because allergies change all the time and he “doesn’t want to press his luck”
Ditto on the immunity and avoidance. Never had an issue *and* I hate nasty surprises.
It’s worth it to avoid it. Even if you’re immune to it, that shit’s still an oil and can get on other stuff. I’ve gotten poison ivy reactions from petting dogs and lemme tell you it is a lot easier to get mad at the plant than at a dog.
My grandfather was a doctor. He treated a patient who was immune to poison ivy… immune right up until the point where he swallowed a leaf to prove it to his friends.
Oh my god…
The only sure-fire way to get an immunity is to work in a cashew factory for a couple years, since cashews are closely related to poison ivy.
Of course, that’s not exactly fun work, especially if you spend part of it reacting to the cashews.
Whether repeated exposures ultimately desensitizes or hypersensitizes a person actually depends on genetics. Both types of humans exist.
and to further muddy the waters, you can get different resuts from different substances in the same person.
Human genetics: don’t press yer luck noob.
Life is good with C.B. at your side.
Are those his siblings or his troops?
Naw just normal people
So what do Space Future recruiting commercials even look like?
‘Join the Space Future Army, and possibly maybe you’ll get a chance to fist bump with these really badass dudes!’
Probably.
Eh, that’s cool.
90% of the reason I played the hell out of Halo was because I loved the way the game handled allied NPCs.
Halo’s marines are just that perfect mix of expendable mook but actually useful, that you couldn’t help but try and keep them alive.
That sounds like how it would work in the Metal Gear universe.
“Join the military and work hard so Big Boss may possibly kidnap you to work for him!”
Troops probably. His siblings would be equally impractically dressed up if they were there.
I’m hoping Angel will show up in a similar outfit.
No doubt…Especially with the vest opened all the way to there.
:P
My favorite expression on that look was, “with her shirt open clear down to her breakfast…”
No kidding, I was made fun of all the time for dressing head to toe in cloth, I covered my face, wore the goggles, had gloves. It wasn’t till a bunch of other Marines got poison Ivy all over and I was fine, they stopped making fun of me.
Same thing with in the desert and me being the only one not sun burned to a crisp.
Real men always wear long sleeves. Mosquitoes, sunburn, vegetation, you need protection. Gloves make a lot of sense too, riding a motorbike, stonemasonry etc, you have to look after your hands, you only get one pair. I always wear jeans and boots because my place is pretty snake infested.
I’ve not willingly worn shorts since I was six. Hell, I got in the habit of wearing boots with reinforced toes twelve years ago in high school, thanks to my classmate who didn’t follow directions like “pull the nails out of the wood, don’t just leave nails sticking out of boards upended on the theater shop floor.” or “Don’t carry a knife at school.”
He felt it was his right as a ‘future Marine’ to disregard those directives.
If I’d not been wearing boots that day, I’d have a nail THROUGH my foot instead of just a half-inch deep hole in my foot on top of the bleeding headwound.
As a “future Marine” ..not if he xed himself out of service by some childhood accident. Glad you’re safe.
Maybe you should tidy up and vacuum once in a while.
I did general carpentry with a small outfit. Nobody wore protective gear except me. Everyone I encountered over 40 had loads of issues. Back problems, arthritis in their hands etc. Motivated me to be safe.
I met a lumberjack once at a bus stop and had a chat with him. He had 2 fingers missing on one hand and one on the other. He also had a nasty scar across his face among other face scars and talked about how his legs have been mangled under a tree and how once a tree crushed his ribs and a branch punctured his lung. He also had been in a coma for a week once. Really a miracle he’s still alive. And he had his helmet on and a chainsaw strapped to his back so clearly he was still working. Convinced me to stay the heck away from lumberjack job despite it being manly as heck, that guy didn’t look manly, he looked like a walking safety advertisement.
One last thing though.. No weapon Magazine bends backwards.. its either straight or Forwards.. unless its’ just a brace to hold onto.
Honestly I had like two hours to do this I didn’t have time to find a ref. It’s not even a real gun it’s just a bunch of random rectangles sandwiched together.
I’m not expecting you to be a master of fire arms or even to change this page, I’m just letting you know for future reference. You’re already one of my favorite artist, and I am just trying to give you some simple critique.
Ha ha, it’s cool, just revealing my process.
I will have you know that weapon is fulfilling is design function perfectly! it looks rad as hell! it dramatically spits brass and makes dramatic muzzle flashes when in use too! do you have any idea how hard it was to get a microwave rifle to do that? that thing is a work of goddam art! and command won’t hear any bellyaching about “terrible ergonomics” or “pointlessly barrel heavy” or about how the super bright muzzle flash draws attention, of course it draws attention! how else would people realize how rad that gun look?!
Fucking Flawless.
Reminds me how “Far Cry: Blood Dragon” had a whole paragraph how they made a bow futuristic by adding neon to it.
Neon, that’s what this gun needs. And some more scopes, barrels and bayonetts.
I think I’d be satisfied with…
http://grrlpowercomic.com/archives/1760
Bayonets on a minigun. Not enough dakka and and choppa but it will do for now.
You know, jokes aside, if the blades faced the direction the barrel turned that would probably be really damn effective at close range.
And look epic as fuck.
It’s normally straight, it’s just so heavy that holding it up like that causes it to bend.
(Someone made a typo, and they built it for 4.5 calibre ammo.)
I’m just gonna put forward my own justification: No *modern* guns do that.
This is a TiALS deployment, and therefore that there is a spacefuture gun. It could be filled with non-newtonian rubberised bullets that are only fully solid once fired, for all we know. It can be bent however.
But it looks cool wich is what’s realy important in the TIALS.
It’s only half-erect.
It’s a spacefuture gun. Probably fires deep fried beer cans or something.
Shoots smaller guns which, in turn, fire deep-fried beer cans.
The magazine sags when he holds the gun up like that because it’s a mag of rubber bullets.
he is badass so instead of extra bullets they just gave him an oversized knife!
I wonder if it’s big enough to make him a Catachan Commander…
The Catachan are basically Space Future Rambos, so that sounds right.
I think you’re onto something. I mean Catachan abs are literally as strong as flak armor, and the Commander can shrug off small arms fire, Sooo…
Love that first panel and love these moments where he is calling this shit out
“Sorry, sir. HQ said, and I quote, ‘tactical covers for -those- guns are wildly out of budget.'”
“Negative commander. You know being a faceless, unknown soldier gets you killed first in the field.”
His gun seems to need little blue pills.
With the way those guys are dressed, I’m expecting Snake to be out there in a cardboard box somewhere.
I have a gripe here. How is it The Commander has not been added to Broforce yet?!
That gun seems a little small to clear out the under brush. Commander needs Old Painless
I am not claiming to be an expert, but I think that the clip for his gun is backwards. The way bullets are shaped make it hard for them to feed when the clip is made like that to the best of my knowledge.
Someone else brought that up hahaha
I for one appreciate your honesty that it wasn’t worth the extra attention to detail.
That there is a comic artist with a firm grasp of the practicalities of her craft.
I had to read that a couple times before I got it. I missed the fact that he was talking to some CO on the radio, I thought he was still talking to his troops. It didn’t make sense.
All I can think of now with your description of bowflex poses and lean-tos is the trap making scene in Predator.
“If it bleeds, we can kill it”
Yeah, but he’s gonna look so sexy while doing it.
Commanders attire makes sense. They are in a jungle where they are likely to encounter predators. It’s a well known fact that exposing a beefy male body increases your chances of survival considerably when fighting preds.
Except that they have treaties and trade agreements with the Yautja. Heck, Commander speaks their language!
Commander’s gun is obviously a Stohl Parapaxum with gas operated double-action bolt plunger and electric magazine feed. As each round is extracted the feeder casually flips it 2.5 times end over end into the open breech before the bolt returns out of nowhere to slam the cartridge home. Rounds are stored pointing toward the butt of the weapon because a 2.5 flip is tons cooler then either 2 or 3.
No that must be the new Liefeld 2000 pistol. The bullets stored in the oversized grip triggers the bullets from the bent magazine further ahead in the barrel. Firing two Liefelds at once while frowning or screaming bends the forward magazine to a more practical angle.
It just fires a new necked UP round. The bullet is wider than the casing.
I keep trying to read the text, but the Commander keeps distracting me.
i hate poison ivy
Those shots he got for the Malaria also had nanobots in them so he could eat MRE’s and crap bullets.
New headcanon.
They really ought to get to work using that space future science to invent a preventative against Poison Ivy already.
Ok, I know this is funny and all, but what the hell is up with the magazine of that gun? Actually the whole gun in general, it looks like a gun designed by people trying to push a toy…
Ok, nevermind, considering Commanders “purpose” in the future, it makes sense now.
Just Poison ivy if you’re lucky. Commander is a smart man. Don’t toy with nature, yo.
I’m now officially caught up on this comic. I started reading it years ago, forgot about it for a while, and just binged the whole archive in 2 days.
Coelasquid, thanks for making great comics that manage to make me laugh. I had a pretty shitty day, so it’s a relief to know I can still chuckle at the end of it.
This reminds me. Did he ever get to punch his CO in the face? Is that going to be a later strip? I know it’s probably not top priority, and Commander’s saving it for a Special Occasion, I’m just curious.
It would be hilarious if he went in time Before he was given the permission. Punch the CO out of the blue, the guy did not even THINK it was possible. But he’d think “Rock Lobster finally went nuts! This is my chance to turn him into a badass cyborg” and in the middle of his gloating Rock shows him the paper from future saying that he was allowed to punch the SoB in the face.
Oh god yes. I need this in my life.
That would be great. Now, once he do this, he would no longer be able to see the CO tremble at the posibillitie that he can punch him anytime, since the guy would remember having already received the punch. (though with spacefuture timetravel mechanic, your never know).
What he should do is enjoy the situation for a while, then get back to the past and punch him.
Orrrrr he could jump decades into the future when the guy is about to be retired and honourably discharged and have long forgotten about the whole punch thing. Then at the award ceremony or whatever they have on such an occasion walk to him with a smile, open hand forward and THEN slug him in front of ALL the cameras.
This way he’d be able to enjoy his fear for Years to come and still fulfil his “obligation”
Saw it before going to sleep, and ended up making a dream where the Commander stared in a beer comercial.
If Commander is not supposed to be dressed as Unlicensed Sequel Snake, i don’t know what is real anymore: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/GYKjNOcjDXY/hqdefault.jpg
Couldn’t they just have engineered him with immunity to poison ivy, a thing actual people have?
One Grox mount and the Commander is a Catachan.