Ooooh, sorry, sir. We were looking for a “Royale with Cheese”. That is Royale with an “e”, but thanks for playing and we hope you come back again someday.
Well some people say that we need to be socialist, and others say we need to be communist, still other say we should be Anarcho-Syndicalist, But we all agree that the man must be dismissed.
People said “epic” in this context at my high school some four or five years ago. Nobody says it these days, outside of its normal usage. I didn’t know there were people still using it more broadly elsewhere.
I find that your comments seem more relaxed when you’re not working all week. I don’t understand why though. My theory is that it has something to do with either the moon’s position in the sky or the political state of Honduras.
My comments are more relaxed when I’m not responding to people whining about how the comic I pulled an all-nighter to finish at the end of an 80 hour work week doesn’t look as nice as the ones I have two days to work on.
Malignant (adj) 1. Having an evil influence; malign. 2. Wishing evil; very malevolent or malicious. 3. Very harmful. 4. Very dangerous or virulent; causing or likely to cause death; not benign {a cancer is a malignant growth} 5.[obs] malcontent; rebellious; disaffected. (n) [archaic] a malcontent.
Boy, is there egg on my face. Alright, you got me there, but in relation to skulduggery we’re both wrong. Skulduggery implies underhanded behavior or trickery. In other words, dickish but not outright evil.
One could argue that it’s a method of being evil, not necessarily evil in and of itself. It’s to be deceitful so the amount of evil really depends on what the person’s lying about.
While I also hate people who use “win” or “fail” as general adjectives, what’s wrong with epic? It’s a perfectly acceptable adjective if the situation warrants it. If that burger was good enough to make him soil his undies like it looks like he did, then maybe it was a burger that was truly worthy of epic status. A quest-worthy piece of beef.
Also, does this still apply if you’re discussing something like Beowulf and refer to it as AN epic? Or is it like bitch where there are situational uses?
Epic is exactly as run into the ground as “win” and “fail” are. Unless you just spent the last 27 years questing through the planes of reality to find it, there is nothing “epic” about your hamburger.
“Epic” is getting run into the ground and pretty soon will be a euphemism for “something my grandmother might find amusing.” It’s becoming the next “premium.”
Agreed. When Grandma starts using “Uber loot” to describe stuff she got at a doorbuster sale, you know internet speak is starting to get old. And I really wish I was making that one up.
The real one. I was finished reading through his battle with Grendel and when he gets back, he retells the whole story and I was all “WTF?! DUDE, WE KNOW! WE WERE JUST THERE! CAN’T WE JUST SAY ‘And then Beowulf returned and recounted his battle in great detail and there was much celebrating.'”
It was the troubadour equivalent of reairing a primetime show at one am for those working second shift. All the people watching the flock can hear the same tale next week and not miss out. Plus that’s another week of gruel and sleep in the barn for the troubadour.
Exactly correct. And also a fine source of endless Iron Age fanwank around the smoky winter fires. “He did smite the son of Hrothgar with his sure, swift sword.”
“Aethelred26, you are a fatheaded son of a Geat! He smote him with his sure, swift, steel flame!”
I say it all the time when people botch attempts to be funny because I think it sounds silly. I said something dumb once and my little bro started making this “olololololololololo” sound. I totally lost it.
I make a point of never typing it, though. I think people who use it seriously online are more annoying than people who use it sarcastically in real life.
Yeah, why even use it in game chat? If something’s funny, laugh!
I had a friend – who I no longer talk to for shit like this – who got so caught up in WoW that he just couldn’t operate socially anymore. We’d go out, someone would tell a joke and he’s sitting there, making laughing motions and smiling but just saying ‘lol, lol, lol, lol!’
I feel ridiculously awkward holding down my mic to let others know I laughed. If something makes me laugh, I do in fact laugh as opposed to just saying “lol” or “hahaha” or what have you. However, I still think it’s a bit weird to use a push to talk button to let people know of that fact.
I think “awesome” is just as overused as epic or win.
I’ve been trying to avoid saying “awesome” for the past couple of years because whenever I do, I feel like I’ve said “epic” six times in the same sentence.
Wow, just discovered your comics on deviantart a bit ago. It led me to this site which I have added to my (unfortunately small) list of EPIC comics.
Diducwutididthar?
I’m sorry, I’m a terrible person.
Man, i hate having people say “HAHA, oh man, i totally kicked a rock, so epic!”
Epic used to mean something amazing, like a lord of the Rings type journey, but now its… like kicking a rock.
Misusing words so that they lose any meaning and just become a vast collection of synonyms for ‘vaguely interesting or amusing’ does not help language. It hurts communication, specificity, and the poetry of language.
Specificity will always depend on the context, regardless of new ways to use the word. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people try and use the original definition of the word and refuse to accept that the word has taken on new meaning.
That doesn’t mean that some new meanings are just insipid.
Well what if the one who went to get that burger had to traverse across the world, fight his or her way out of a pit of monsters, escape from the clutches of a nymphomaniac witch, and… umm… Y’know, I never actually read the Illiad…
You know the only thing that could make that most delicious of cooked meats worthy of the word epic is if Jared had to win a life or death duel against Mr. Fish in which said burger also contained the antidote to the poison that the commander shoved down Jared’s throat before said duel for over using the word epic. If this actually occured then it is the only way that it is worthy. Well…. unless Jared had to fight his way through and arena style death match with each of the most manly men in the universe to attain the right to buy and thus eat said burger… [shrugs] Either way.
…honestly, i stopped at “if jared had to win a life or death duel against mr. fish.”
why?
because i started visualizing jared talking baby talk while “playing” tug of war with a perpetually angry gyrados. i snickered quietly to myself.
Perhaps, but it is something that would not b out of place in an epic, and its scale would indeed be epic. It would not be inaccurate to call it an epic feast.
Yes, it would be out of place in an epic. There is nothing exceptionally special about that burger, I’ve made burgers that big for shits ‘n’ giggles before. if you’re impressed by it, you should be embarrassed by the shamefully bland life you lead.
Having given this some thought, I think the defining factor that makes something epic is the amount of effort put into it. If an epic quest takes a minimum of 25 years, that’s roughly 100 000 man-hours (assuming an average of 12 hours of daylight in which to quest per day). That could be spread out over several people to accomplish an epic feat faster; for instance a meal that takes ten thousand people ten hours to cook could be considered epic. Or a big-budget movie which involves a hundred people working 40 hour weeks could be an epic production (but not necessarily an epic story), if it takes them more than six months.
Well, that’d make most of the movies we hear about today epics. Maybe to make something epic you’d need a certain amount of danger and hardship as well. That’d probably make The Abyss the most epic undertaking in the history of entertainment. . .
But the point is, a hamburger can probably never come close to being epic.
I remember once ordering a ‘special meat hamburger’ at a grill that could do any kind of burgers, and commented i didn’t really want any salad or such to it, just the meat. Usually, that bad boy is salad + 3 thick hot slices of meat within it but the guy handed me in return a burger with extra 3 slices of meat all covered with chili-sauce too.
I wouldn’t call it epic, but I’d say that was the meatiest burger I’ve ever had, and the guy behind the counter did it as a bit of a joke about the fact I didn’t want any salad (back then they used something for the salad that made it taste horrible in my mouth, or maybe I’ve just matured enough to like the salad too in that) with my burger.
But, 6 thick pieces of meat in a burger, and nice hot hot chili.. …mmhhh… tasty.
You should replace the Epic Jar with an Epic Lawnmower that grinds your face off unless you give it a dollar.
I don’t understand the appeal with constantly regurgitating those words, though. Is it laziness? Is it really too hard to say “man, that round sucked” instead of “FAIL ROUND LOL”, etc
I’m not sure you can call it laziness when they’re roughly the same length. It’s just a submersion in internet culture without really thinking about why you’re following the trend.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is profound proof of the desensitization of our society. Think of the joy Ecchi might have had had he been able to notice the sweet, sweet irony; if the overabundance of cursing in his social life had been less?
…Yeah, I could go on and on, but I just realized my lvl 80 shaman died while I had WoW minimized. @#$%!
It was still pretty joyful. Also, I might have missed the curse word even if every other word anyone said around me wasn’t fuck, as I also didn’t notice the skull in the fish tank, the Commander’s mug, the obvious inconsistency between the size of the burger and the size of it’s wrapper, or the Commander’s missing tooth, which are all things that others pointed out before I scrolled back up and saw them. .. Yeah, I read every single comment :p
Yeah, the burger wrapper started out as a plate, then I realized it was weird to have a plate and a fast food drink cup so I changed it while I was in the middle of colouring…
Maybe it’s one of those restaurants that wrap sandwiches in two pieces of paper, where you take one of the pieces off when you start eating so the other half is wrapped and your sandwich guts don’t fall out the end.
I’ve tried to train myself out of “awesome” by coining a couple of adjectives more in line with my personality, such as “fabtastic”. We need to get some of those kooky old terms and phrases back into circulation. Hmm. “Crackerjack”? “Meritorious”?
I’d rather drink motor oil than eat that, I’ll take a 20$ 1-pounder from a local diner over that shit any day. Burgers are diner food, because diners do them BEST.
You have inspired me to create the “like jar”. Anyone who says “like” for anything other than its origin purpose adds a certain amount of money to the jar.
That’s kind of unfair. “Like” these days is used practically as an “Um”, giving the speaker a moment for their brain to catch up with their speech. Most people don’t even realize they’re using it.
Linguistic evolution leads to terrible things. See: the English language. One of the worst set of grammatical rules ever thrown together. A hodgepodge of other languages. As the over-told joke goes ‘English is the language that beats up other languages in alleys and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
Eh, well, most of the reason for that as far as I can tell is the grammarians. They tried for centuries to force English into a Latin corset, and when all the prepositions bulged out the top they insisted she still looked pretty. Then English went out about town and everyone laughed at her, so she broke her heel off and bashed the crap out of everyone. And went home and cried.
So in a way, it’s all due to people falsely attributing a grander tradition to English than it really warrants. I sort of like normal people using the word ‘epic’ every now and then, just like I liked it when so-called ‘chavs’ (also known as people who happen to be poor and like urban music) started saying ‘vexed’. They just sound good, who cares if the meaning is a little devalued? No-one (worth mentioning) would use the word “epic” in a poem in any way other than a literal reference anyway, it comes with too much ‘baggage’. Snobs were wasting it, let everyone else have a go.
This crap about ‘poetry of language’ all generally boils down to “I used to like epic. Then it got all MAINSTREAM and COMMERCIAL.” Truth is, anyone actually seriously working with words will avoid words like “epic”, “awesome”, “dragon”, because, as I’ve said, they are a pre-packaged deal, there’s no wiggle-room or ambiguity in the definitions.
Eh. I found the comic amusing because it contrasted how “Epic” was used in regular life with how it would fare under the sceptical gaze of people who’ve actually seen characters from epic poetry unsw. But the discussions successfully trolled me (I have a few friends who say ‘Epic’ often, and I love em). Screw anyone who looks down on ANYONE for using words stupid-like.
It isn’t about people using epic “every so often” it’s bout people who use it as their primary adjective to describe everything. If you can tolerate those people, good on you, please don’t encourage them for sake of the rest of us. When I ask someone how a TV series I’m considering was, I want to hear, say, “It’s modern with some fantasy undertones, it gets off to a comical start but the story doesn’t start going anywhere until it gets a little more serious, the characters are depicted pretty realistically, but it’s frustrating watching some of them deal with each other because so much of the conflict is just misunderstanding that they could easily get past.” not “It’s epic!”. Or if I ask someone what they like about a painting they’re into, I’d get a lot more out of hearing how they appreciate the ways the artist uses colour, form, stylization and negative space than “It’s epic!”
I could teach a parrot to say “epic” and have the same quality of conversations with it as I do with these people. Maybe you can go to the hospital sometime and have the doctor tell you that you have “epic sickness” so you can appreciate why people who throw out all of their adjectives and descriptive variety are frustrating to listen to.
It sounds as though your primary beef is with folks that are unable to adequately convey their feelings regarding things. The specific word is basically coincidental to that.
That specific word is the one most people choose as the crutch for their laziness, it would seem. Right from roommates to coworkers to internet acquaintances.
BUT GOD DAMN IT THE FRENCH WILL TRY! They have a dedicated team of grammarians that are determined to make sure that new words like ‘internet’ and ‘computer’ are never used in France, instead they came up with new french ways to pronounce and spell them, how to put them in feminie and masculine form, and how to place them in a sentence. VIVA LA FRANCE
I am now ashamed to admit that I’ve used ‘epic’ once or twice and ‘win’ and ‘fail’ a billion gakajamillionshillion times. (that numerical value is so incomprehensibly huge that it generally causes the asplosion of one’s brain and / or cranium region)
And hey… Do you guys reckon you could make the site more ‘mobile friendly’? (i guess you would say ‘cell phone friendly’)
Yes holy shit! We needed one of these at the pool I worked at during the summer. All it was every day was this kid saying “epic fail” in the most annoying voice ever!
Seriously if he started drowning I’d probably wait a few extra seconds before savin him.
You do realize that if we don’t kill this movement, historians will call our time “Era of Stupid” given the observation of our vocabulary and lazy spelling.
No they won’t. If it continues, they’d call our era something we primitive folks won’t understand because they will communicate solely with elite abbreviations and misspelled words that are misspelled differently by different people. Our era would be laudable in their sights! (That’s a frightening future.)
Somehow this seems ENTIRELY in keeping with what Commander would do. If it were anyone else holding the Epic Jar I don’t think it would have worked as well.
The English Major in me appreciates this. The jackass college student in me feels for Jared. This strip and the following discussion have reminded me of George Orwell’s essay on Newspeak that he wrote along with 1984. Orwell would be most pleased with the Epic Jar.
Thank God I’m not the only one who thought of that first.
Hell, shouldn’t Minsc be in this comic at some point? I know he’s a video game character, and those obviously shouldn’t be overused, but he’s also like this eight foot tall slab of Ranger that beats evil-doers to death with his fists and uses the word “Hero” to describe all of his friends.
Fun fact that most people don’t realize. “Epic” actually means “long” or “large”.
So if Jared were eating a foot-long sub or some such and referring to it as “epic”, he’d technically be using it correctly.
Perhaps it is actually a Gatorburger; and the chef needed to wrestle the gator TO DEATH; and the lettuce is actually leaves from a man-eating plant, the mustard contains Tibetan Horseradish (that only grows where yetis “go”), and the bread was grown and ground by hand.
Oh, and the pickle is actually sliced pickled sea cucumber.
Would that be epic? (It certainly wouldbe nigh inedible, tfdc)
I assume Link broke it. Or Ganny took it back. Or Ganny took it back and then Link broke it, so we may see Ganny borrowing Commander’s mug in the future.
Well… Be it that the word “epic” (when not being used in terms of literary classification) pertains to unusual size or impressiveness, that burger very well COULD be the most epic burger Jarad’s ever seen, as it seems to be rather sizable. So, in this instance, he could be using it correctly… Huh.
Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m totally on the same page. The win/fail thing, while funny from time to time, should not be the norm; that’s disgusting.
While the epic jar is a compelling idea, I hypothesis that it would easier to convince Jared not to say epic anymore, if whenever he said he received A PUNCH IN THE FACE. is manlier yes? also a little aversion therapy never hurt anyone.
I’m actually pretty lucky. My group will overuse an internet word for about a week at a time before relegating it to sarcasm or proper context. We have one friend who takes exception, but she proves my hypothesis that LOLcats cause steady brain damage. Incidentally, I hope that Commander Badass gets ordered to go back in time and shoot whoever invented “LOLspeak” in the face.
You have unrealistically high standards. A burger can be majestic merely by the grace and skill used in its construction. Likewise with impressively great. I don’t know about heroic, though.
How did that thing fit into it’s wrapper? Did it wear it as a cape? Even with one, I would denounce that burger as epic simply due to it’s apparent lack of bacon. I don’t need bacon on everything, but I definitely need it to make a burger proper in my eyes. Oh and icecream. Mmm bacon icecream.
Would placing “epic” in its proper context also include characters from the Warcraft universe referring to purple-quality loot?
Though stuff’s hardly worth the title at this point so perhaps there is merit in the Commander’s ban, given one can e*** oneself out within hours of hitting max-level. :|a
Oh Jared. All you were looking for in your life was a parent who cared enough to lay down some rules.
It’s about time someone has touched on this issue.
I grind my teeth every time I hear someone say “WIN” “FAIL” or “EPIC”.
I fear by the end of these being popular things to say, I will have grinded past my gums to the point that my jawbone is rubbing viciously against my nose.
Frankly I dont fully see the problem when people say it so long as the situation at least calls for it. however i can see how the subject of calling for it can be very highly subjective, but in the terms of using abbreviations or shorter words while typing online, i REALLY cant see how people have a problem with it. LOL, it stands for Laugh Out Loud, I have no problem with people using that over the web. I can see how the words are overused by the younger generations but that will always happen, there’s always some gap that separates one generation and another.
so, okay, someone’s bound to answer this – how long has FTW been around? because i’m sitting under a tv in the dining hall and keep hearing “FOR THE WIIIIIIIIIIN” and feel like, if we had a FTW jar for sports, you could solve world hunger with the amount of money in it.
Half of that stuff has been around since the dawn of online gaming because people got lazy or just started hitting wrong keys on purpose for Sh**s and Giggles. L337 SP34K and txt speak have massacred modern grammatical structure and then people complain when their english teacher tells them you can’t put things like LOLUMAD in an essay.
…What does LOLUMAD mean? “(Laugh out loud) You mad”? Laugh out loud… undermining ads? Upon mine address domain? Under my arduous distress? Until my algorithm dies?
A bunch of kids at my high school enjoy saying “epic”, “fail”, and “win”. Every time they say something like that, I tell them to stop, that they don’t know what they’re saying, that it’s stupid. Every time they ask why. Every time I die a little inside.
Ha, I love this comic. The comments are almost just as entertaining. However…what if when he ordered it, he ordered it from some Odyssey/Illiad themed restaurant/fast-food place, and it was indeed called…”The epic burger”, or rather “Fucking Epic Burger”? >.> Does this become okay? Hahaha.
The only burger I know that is “epic” is the Sticky Burger, which is a burger with Cheddar cheese, Bacon, and, get this, Peanut butter. But since “win,fail, and epic” Are prohibited, i’ll go with “Best damn burger I’ve ever had”
If Jared had paid attention during English Class, he might have been able to justify his use of “epic” as an abbreviation for “epicurean.” But he didn’t.
I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic.
The Samsung phone with “name that shall not be uttered” is worthy of its name. I kill zombies, race cars, save the world with my sword, all while texting and making smart comments on fb all from the comfort of my bed no need to fire up the ole pc
I love this. Paying a fee to use certain words will keep you from devaluing them and make you think about what you say, encouraging creative and varied expression. I’d use a jar like that myself, if people around here spoke English more.
For some reason it’s mostly a problem with English. >_>
I have been more careful with my use of superlatives on the Internet since I read this strip, though. Not that epic, win, fail or even awesome are words I ever used daily. Holy crap, don’t get me started on Failblog.
Can’t everyone just leave it as a joke? Do we really have to defend the word “Epic” (It don’t count in quotes) and it’s usage? Can’t we just say “hay, that was funny, I’m going to use that as a joke now.” and move on?
In which Marv proceeds to invoke a BOTCH, with his attempt to WONDERSLANG.
I think eventually we can make language a complete barrier to understanding!
(All due respect to Bill Watterson)
Personally, I would declare that THIS IS DELICIOUS!, because I consider it more appropriate than calling a food item smaller than a whole turkey ‘epic’.
In Lieu of catchphrases, why don’t we all try common english. (Or whatever your language of choice so happens to be?)
I will thusly provide an example:
This is a truly wonderful example of entertainment, and one that I thoroughly enjoyed. I hope you keep posting these for a long while yet, because they have, thus far, brought a bit of brightness and laughter to what is otherwise a dismal start to the working week. Good show, and thank you.
Sure it takes a little bit longer, but it’s still preferred to ‘Epic comic is epic’ which only takes the most rudimentary exercies of our language centers to produce.
Shouldn’t we, as a society of internet nerds, who enjoy the convenience of the internet for all the ease of communication it allows, spend a bit of time to hone our communication skills? It would also likely serve to blur the lines of geeky alienation in our tender years if we didn’t constantly speak like we were part of a secret society.
I know my high school years would’ve been more tolerable were this the case.
And this got a bit longwinded. Thank you for entertaining us, Coelasquid!
Hi all, I stumbled upon your blog by using Bing even as looking for a similar topic, your blog showed up, it appears good. I’ve got saved it within my google bookmark
(Things that go *bump* in the night.) But I couldn’t help noticing you were Bing searching and then Google bookmarked something. You know if you keep doing that flame wars will happen lmao.
I find it’s easy. Freefall firefights are epic, with that measuring stick you will never go wrong on your use of the word. However if that fails remember the odyssey, for true manly epicness.
Pffrrtt Bwahahaha !! I read that like 2 hours ago and I just got the joke! I though the tag “Epic Jar” was just a way to point how big the jar was. I though the Commander was reprimanding Jared for using a swear word … And I can’t stop laughing at my stupidness THANK YOU SO MUCH Coelasquid I really needed that laugh ^^
look at the comments on one of the first comments. first place here the epic jar is mentioned. i always love it when a comic artist listens to the fans. :3
I agree that “epic” has been put to use so much that it’s lost it’s true meaning. Just like how government & liberals keep overusing “terrorist” so that it now includes everybody on the planet.
Liberals aren’t the ones overusing ‘terrorist’. The majority of them don’t use the word even to describe actual terrorists.
I’m afraid you’ll find most of the people that misuse the word are ‘conservative,’ although that’s usually misusage too as those who self-identify as conservative almost never practice either social or fiscal conservatism.
My first real encounter with the term “Epic” came from a certain offshoot of Warhammer 40,000… wherein everything was scaled down so vehicles that were truly massive could actually be depicted meaningfully. Somehow everything always gets referred back to that in my mind, which amuses me.
Still… I like those terms. I like using them in meatspace. Not so fond of it when typing, as this is my true medium… and I’ve got nothing to prove here.
I have to agree with the foul trifecta of “epic”, “fail”, and “win”. I found them to be okay around 2006-ish, because they were new and Fail Blog was a new thing. Suddenly the words seeped into what I would call the “normal” culture. Just like a record you get sick of from hearing it too many times on the radio, the words became something that would make you cringe rather than laugh. It’s a shame really.
…caaaan I use the word “epic” if I’m describing a long and involved story I’ve been slaving on for nearly two decades? (Although it would still be an adjective, as I prefer to call it, noun-wise, a “saga”: “a saga of epic proportions.” Calling it an “epic” as a noun feels weird to me.)
Discussion (357) ¬
love the skull in the fishtank =)
how much do you think is in the jar ??????????
Wanteth enough, and thou shall receive. Also, what kinds burger :3
ROYAL WITH CHEESE!!! >:I
I always assumed it was a Blazing Sword Burger.
Ooooh, sorry, sir. We were looking for a “Royale with Cheese”. That is Royale with an “e”, but thanks for playing and we hope you come back again someday.
Epic comic!
I’mma pimp slap you, Mike.
This comment was win.
This comment was hipsters.
All aboard the S.S. Failboat.
on a thr33 h0ur r4id, a thr33 h0ur r4id.
This is an E ticket ride!
omglolwtfbbqwin
Seventeen dollars what?
leeeeroy jenkins!
COMBO BREAKKERRRRR
I cant believe I just read all that… >.>
bbq? Oh, B-B-Q!
Put some Awesome Sauce on that & you’re good to go.
hpstrs
hiiiiiiiiiiipsterrrrrrrrrrrssssssssss.
Squidsters
Coala Squidsters
I don’t think you know how to spell or pronounce “coela”.
Koala Squid
You coward bully cad and thief!
Is that like Coelacanth?
Apparently zombies prefer hipsters now.
Who’d’ve thunk.
Well, hipsters have premium quality brains. You know, they’re more tender because they don’t use them…
This comment was GARY MOTHERF***ING OAK.
All of you need to put a dollar in the Hipster Jar.
My website my totalitarian dictatorship. (Unless Vorked decided to dick with things, I guess, I really couldn’t stop him)
Now you have to put a dollar in the Fascism Jar.
Not in my house, boy.
How many jars are in this autocracy?
Welll, let’s see. Coelasquid is Sole Autocrat, and Her Excellency seems to say that there is (just) an “Ep*c Jar”.
I thought we were an autonomous collective.
you’re fooling yourself, we live in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy where the working classes are being supressed
Oh there you go! Bringing “class” into it again!
Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
Now you see the violence inherent in the system.
Help! Help! I’m being repressed!
I think I can count a few who frequent these pages that have absolutely no class whatsoever…
Machismo is the opiate of the masses.
Naw, we’re a narco-syndicate commune.
I thought we were an anarcho-syndicalist commune.
Well some people say that we need to be socialist, and others say we need to be communist, still other say we should be Anarcho-Syndicalist, But we all agree that the man must be dismissed.
And deliver that in rap form and it would be e–neato-completo.
Um… I’m anarcho-CAPITALIST. Can I be part of the cool anarchist clu-*BOOTED OUT*
Keeheehee, organized anarchists.
If you’re a procrastinator, they’ll be uniting here tomorrow.
Maybe.
what is this I don’t even
Re-Reading comics and stumbled upon this. I want this comment thread as a poster.
I am all too familiar with “Ohmahgaaaaahd.”
Easily my favourite Kelly quote.
Every time she says it, Dolph Lundgren punches a Twilight Fan in the face. It’s a lot like Christmas.
That was, um, fantastic!
Punching twilight fans – It made me smile. Vampires are dead and smell bad.
And they don’t sparkle in the sunlight…They BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRN !!
Neat.
People said “epic” in this context at my high school some four or five years ago. Nobody says it these days, outside of its normal usage. I didn’t know there were people still using it more broadly elsewhere.
Damn son, you must be living on an isolated chunk of Venus or something.
I find that your comments seem more relaxed when you’re not working all week. I don’t understand why though. My theory is that it has something to do with either the moon’s position in the sky or the political state of Honduras.
My comments are more relaxed when I’m not responding to people whining about how the comic I pulled an all-nighter to finish at the end of an 80 hour work week doesn’t look as nice as the ones I have two days to work on.
So… Sacrifice more Hipsters? That makes you happy?
Dangit! Where did I put that spare volcano I haven’t been using?…
California, right on the Corridor.
So yes, clearly!
I only ever see epic used as an adjective on the internet. On the off-chance I hear it, it’s always a sarcastic reference.
Oh, Jared, you have much to learn.
There’s a guy in my systems analysis class that says “LOL EPIC FAIL” every chance he gets :(
He reminds me of Sal Manella from the first Phoenix Wright game
Anyone up for helping me put an end to the word “Shenanigans” for a while? I’m trying to replace it with the word “Skulduggery.”
I don’t want to live in a world where “skulduggery” is overused.
I’m not sure the two are really that interchangeable.
Shenanigans is actually almost propely used in many cases. Almost.
Skulduggery suggests a more malignant activity.
Did you mean malicious? Malignant means severe and is usually used to describe tumors.
On topic: My sister talks like this. She also like lolcats. I’m pretty sure that’s an internet equivalent of a war crime.
I probably do mean malicious. Lemme check my Webster’s.
Malignant (adj) 1. Having an evil influence; malign. 2. Wishing evil; very malevolent or malicious. 3. Very harmful. 4. Very dangerous or virulent; causing or likely to cause death; not benign {a cancer is a malignant growth} 5.[obs] malcontent; rebellious; disaffected. (n) [archaic] a malcontent.
Boy, is there egg on my face. Alright, you got me there, but in relation to skulduggery we’re both wrong. Skulduggery implies underhanded behavior or trickery. In other words, dickish but not outright evil.
One could argue that it’s a method of being evil, not necessarily evil in and of itself. It’s to be deceitful so the amount of evil really depends on what the person’s lying about.
Totally not your fault; it seems to only get dragged out for “tumors”.
And skulduggery does seem to be plotting & schemeing w/o actual evil deeds…
Hm.
I’d still interchange it for shenanigans.
Try curmudgery just to tick off anyone outside the Victorian era.
I recommend throwing in a “cahoots” in every possible conversation.
Curmudgeonry.
Panel 2 is now my desktop background. Will hopefully help with my addiction to yelling woot in public places.
I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE?!?!
Thank the heavens. Maybe there is hope for us…
This comic does not mention any of the dumb stuff I’m obsessed with that you don’t care about, make a new one immediately
Actually that’s a lie, I’m obsessed with that fishtank a little.
Maybe you should send me an email about how much you want me to draw Gordon Freeman.
The cake is a lie?
Or is it?
Woah woah, woah. Woah. What?
While I also hate people who use “win” or “fail” as general adjectives, what’s wrong with epic? It’s a perfectly acceptable adjective if the situation warrants it. If that burger was good enough to make him soil his undies like it looks like he did, then maybe it was a burger that was truly worthy of epic status. A quest-worthy piece of beef.
Also, does this still apply if you’re discussing something like Beowulf and refer to it as AN epic? Or is it like bitch where there are situational uses?
Epic is exactly as run into the ground as “win” and “fail” are. Unless you just spent the last 27 years questing through the planes of reality to find it, there is nothing “epic” about your hamburger.
You have to admit though, at least epic is grammatically correct. It is a real adjective, unlike win and fail.
“Epic” is getting run into the ground and pretty soon will be a euphemism for “something my grandmother might find amusing.” It’s becoming the next “premium.”
Agreed. When Grandma starts using “Uber loot” to describe stuff she got at a doorbuster sale, you know internet speak is starting to get old. And I really wish I was making that one up.
I read that bit about the Grandma using “Uber loot” in a sentence and laughed so hard I almost choked.
I’ve been having fun reading the comic through again too but sometimes the comments can kick up a weird bit of tickle in the funny bone too.
But yeah, “Epic” is starting to get old. Only time I use it is when I pull out the Epic Rules Handbook (D&D 3.5 still)
We have an “internetisms” jar at work. So far I have been able to buy a remote control helicopter and 15 jet-skis.
Does this mean that speaking of
epicpoems, like the Iliad, Odyssey or Mahabharata, is prohibited?Naw, they get a fair pass.
That’s good because those Epic Poems are SOOOO EPIC!
Can’t stand Beowulf. The man brags way too much.
The REAL Beowulf from the actual poem, or that Flanderized idiot in that sorry excuse for a movie?
The real one. I was finished reading through his battle with Grendel and when he gets back, he retells the whole story and I was all “WTF?! DUDE, WE KNOW! WE WERE JUST THERE! CAN’T WE JUST SAY ‘And then Beowulf returned and recounted his battle in great detail and there was much celebrating.'”
It was the troubadour equivalent of reairing a primetime show at one am for those working second shift. All the people watching the flock can hear the same tale next week and not miss out. Plus that’s another week of gruel and sleep in the barn for the troubadour.
Exactly correct. And also a fine source of endless Iron Age fanwank around the smoky winter fires. “He did smite the son of Hrothgar with his sure, swift sword.”
“Aethelred26, you are a fatheaded son of a Geat! He smote him with his sure, swift, steel flame!”
Oh! So THAT was why! Good to know!
I epic like the new like?
Like I think epic is like awesomely fail.
Thank god I´m from ze Germany and we don´t have this shit.
Our crap is weirder. ;)
But only because “episch” just doesn’t sound as good in German. ;)
AUSGESEICHNET!
Gesundheit…
Um… Ubermensch?
OKTOBERFEST!
INTERESSENGEMEINSCHAFT!
Which means “Interesting Mine Shaft.”
Isnt that spelled ‘AUSGEZEICHNET’ ?
Yes. It is an Epic Jar.
Because it has money in it.
What really ticks me off is when people actually say the word “lol” it is okay for in-game chat but saying it in reality is just wrong
I say it all the time when people botch attempts to be funny because I think it sounds silly. I said something dumb once and my little bro started making this “olololololololololo” sound. I totally lost it.
I make a point of never typing it, though. I think people who use it seriously online are more annoying than people who use it sarcastically in real life.
Look up Master Chief sucks at Halo on youtube. that’s where it comes from I believe.
Actually it peeves me when people use it in chat even. But then I catch myself saying “roffle” in real life and then I just start hating myself.
And well you should, friend, well you should.
Yeah, why even use it in game chat? If something’s funny, laugh!
I had a friend – who I no longer talk to for shit like this – who got so caught up in WoW that he just couldn’t operate socially anymore. We’d go out, someone would tell a joke and he’s sitting there, making laughing motions and smiling but just saying ‘lol, lol, lol, lol!’
It was kind of sad.
I feel ridiculously awkward holding down my mic to let others know I laughed. If something makes me laugh, I do in fact laugh as opposed to just saying “lol” or “hahaha” or what have you. However, I still think it’s a bit weird to use a push to talk button to let people know of that fact.
…Your anecdote is depressing, though.
Epi- …
Wi-…
lets just go with awesome then
I was thinking “neato-completo” :B
I prefer “Groovy” said in the way similar to Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness.
I think “awesome” is just as overused as epic or win.
I’ve been trying to avoid saying “awesome” for the past couple of years because whenever I do, I feel like I’ve said “epic” six times in the same sentence.
ROFLCOPTERS
Wow, just discovered your comics on deviantart a bit ago. It led me to this site which I have added to my (unfortunately small) list of EPIC comics.
Diducwutididthar?
I’m sorry, I’m a terrible person.
Yes… yes you are.
Goodness Gracious, How can the commander use a laptop that small? Don’t his fingers press like 3 or 4 keys at a time?
I figure it’s some little netbook thing he snapped up because he couldn’t care less about computers.
Might have a holographic virtual keyboard.
Or it just obeys him because he is so EPICALLY AWESOME!
Man, i hate having people say “HAHA, oh man, i totally kicked a rock, so epic!”
Epic used to mean something amazing, like a lord of the Rings type journey, but now its… like kicking a rock.
in b4 language is flexible in its utilization
language is flexible in its utilization
in after language is flexible in its utilization
also, epic comic is epic.
People can use words however they want, I’m free to think they’re annoying all I want.
Misusing words so that they lose any meaning and just become a vast collection of synonyms for ‘vaguely interesting or amusing’ does not help language. It hurts communication, specificity, and the poetry of language.
Specificity will always depend on the context, regardless of new ways to use the word. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people try and use the original definition of the word and refuse to accept that the word has taken on new meaning.
That doesn’t mean that some new meanings are just insipid.
Insipid, inane, invalid, inappropriate.
Don’t foreget asinine.
But what if the burger was akin to a great feast, a bouquet of flavor which would make a 5 course meal pale in comparison.
A veritable festival of texture and flavor which would make lesser men weep.
Could it be epic then?
Naw, that still doesn’t seem comparable to an Iliad-esque quest.
Well what if the one who went to get that burger had to traverse across the world, fight his or her way out of a pit of monsters, escape from the clutches of a nymphomaniac witch, and… umm… Y’know, I never actually read the Illiad…
You know the only thing that could make that most delicious of cooked meats worthy of the word epic is if Jared had to win a life or death duel against Mr. Fish in which said burger also contained the antidote to the poison that the commander shoved down Jared’s throat before said duel for over using the word epic. If this actually occured then it is the only way that it is worthy. Well…. unless Jared had to fight his way through and arena style death match with each of the most manly men in the universe to attain the right to buy and thus eat said burger… [shrugs] Either way.
…honestly, i stopped at “if jared had to win a life or death duel against mr. fish.”
why?
because i started visualizing jared talking baby talk while “playing” tug of war with a perpetually angry gyrados. i snickered quietly to myself.
XD Honestly that is still the best outcome and yeah he would lose in a heartbeat >>
How would you feel about describing Snickers as epic?
(if you don’t know, search youtube for Snickers Feast)
Perhaps, but it is something that would not b out of place in an epic, and its scale would indeed be epic. It would not be inaccurate to call it an epic feast.
Yes, it would be out of place in an epic. There is nothing exceptionally special about that burger, I’ve made burgers that big for shits ‘n’ giggles before. if you’re impressed by it, you should be embarrassed by the shamefully bland life you lead.
Having given this some thought, I think the defining factor that makes something epic is the amount of effort put into it. If an epic quest takes a minimum of 25 years, that’s roughly 100 000 man-hours (assuming an average of 12 hours of daylight in which to quest per day). That could be spread out over several people to accomplish an epic feat faster; for instance a meal that takes ten thousand people ten hours to cook could be considered epic. Or a big-budget movie which involves a hundred people working 40 hour weeks could be an epic production (but not necessarily an epic story), if it takes them more than six months.
Well, that’d make most of the movies we hear about today epics. Maybe to make something epic you’d need a certain amount of danger and hardship as well. That’d probably make The Abyss the most epic undertaking in the history of entertainment. . .
But the point is, a hamburger can probably never come close to being epic.
I remember once ordering a ‘special meat hamburger’ at a grill that could do any kind of burgers, and commented i didn’t really want any salad or such to it, just the meat. Usually, that bad boy is salad + 3 thick hot slices of meat within it but the guy handed me in return a burger with extra 3 slices of meat all covered with chili-sauce too.
I wouldn’t call it epic, but I’d say that was the meatiest burger I’ve ever had, and the guy behind the counter did it as a bit of a joke about the fact I didn’t want any salad (back then they used something for the salad that made it taste horrible in my mouth, or maybe I’ve just matured enough to like the salad too in that) with my burger.
But, 6 thick pieces of meat in a burger, and nice hot hot chili.. …mmhhh… tasty.
Uhm, sorry, totally derailed comment. ^^”
This makes me more happy than you could ever know. This is a disturbing trend as of late regarding some of my companions.
What I’d like to know is why he’s eating his burger at a desk which is not his. Also that burger is bigger than his face.
Is that because of all the manly men around, they need bigger burgers?
He’s not calling it “epic” for nothing.
Come on don’t you know the rule?
The bigger the burger the more testosterone you must have to be able to eat it without hurting yourself.
Nah…That’s just the size of a regular fast food burger.
Not at McDonald’s its not.
You should replace the Epic Jar with an Epic Lawnmower that grinds your face off unless you give it a dollar.
I don’t understand the appeal with constantly regurgitating those words, though. Is it laziness? Is it really too hard to say “man, that round sucked” instead of “FAIL ROUND LOL”, etc
I’m not sure you can call it laziness when they’re roughly the same length. It’s just a submersion in internet culture without really thinking about why you’re following the trend.
Back in MY day, they would have used the word “bogus”.
‘Course, back in MY day “the Internet” was passed around on bad third-generation photocopies.
Bogus was the 80’s equivalent of epic? I thought it was radical. :|
Uhm… taek, he was referring to Chaos’s “Fail round”. :P
>.>
Riiiight. Just testing.
Damn you’re old! XD
EH? WHAT WAS THAT? damnkidsthesedaysplaying”PING THE BROWSER”illshowTHEMpingthegoddamnbrowsergonnacrankmyLawrenceWelktaFIFTEEN!
AHAHAHHA! Surely I was not the only one who was expecting the Commander to be protesting to the swear word?
Also, his mug is adorable! Is that from June and Sam?
That was my original thought, too. Haha.
No, you weren’t. That’s what makes the joke so funny. :P
Wait. What? I didn’t even notice the swear word..
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is profound proof of the desensitization of our society. Think of the joy Ecchi might have had had he been able to notice the sweet, sweet irony; if the overabundance of cursing in his social life had been less?
…Yeah, I could go on and on, but I just realized my lvl 80 shaman died while I had WoW minimized. @#$%!
It was still pretty joyful. Also, I might have missed the curse word even if every other word anyone said around me wasn’t fuck, as I also didn’t notice the skull in the fish tank, the Commander’s mug, the obvious inconsistency between the size of the burger and the size of it’s wrapper, or the Commander’s missing tooth, which are all things that others pointed out before I scrolled back up and saw them. .. Yeah, I read every single comment :p
Yeah, the burger wrapper started out as a plate, then I realized it was weird to have a plate and a fast food drink cup so I changed it while I was in the middle of colouring…
Maybe it’s one of those restaurants that wrap sandwiches in two pieces of paper, where you take one of the pieces off when you start eating so the other half is wrapped and your sandwich guts don’t fall out the end.
They must have gotten take out from SmashBurger. u.u
I want that burger.
I just noticed that the Commander appears to be missing a tooth… which I assume is intentional?
Is that manly?
I recently had a tooth knocked out and I don’t feel manly… I feel like a hobo.
Can hobos be manly?
He’s been missing it since the first strip :P
BUT THAT’S A STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY…
Oh thank you so dang much for this comic, this is a common grievance of mine. FFRGH.
This hamburger might possibly qualify for epic status, if all the stuff about Kobe beef production is true.
I’ve tried to train myself out of “awesome” by coining a couple of adjectives more in line with my personality, such as “fabtastic”. We need to get some of those kooky old terms and phrases back into circulation. Hmm. “Crackerjack”? “Meritorious”?
Newfangled. Dates back to the Elizabethan Era.
That picture looks incredibly unappetizing. :|
I’d rather drink motor oil than eat that, I’ll take a 20$ 1-pounder from a local diner over that shit any day. Burgers are diner food, because diners do them BEST.
Prurient and meretricious are words I’d like to come across more often.
You have inspired me to create the “like jar”. Anyone who says “like” for anything other than its origin purpose adds a certain amount of money to the jar.
FUKKEN EPIC
That’s kind of unfair. “Like” these days is used practically as an “Um”, giving the speaker a moment for their brain to catch up with their speech. Most people don’t even realize they’re using it.
YOU CAN’T STOP LINGUISTIC EVOLUTION
And evolutionary dead ends need to be cut off.
Linguistic evolution leads to terrible things. See: the English language. One of the worst set of grammatical rules ever thrown together. A hodgepodge of other languages. As the over-told joke goes ‘English is the language that beats up other languages in alleys and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
I never heard that joke before.
Eh, well, most of the reason for that as far as I can tell is the grammarians. They tried for centuries to force English into a Latin corset, and when all the prepositions bulged out the top they insisted she still looked pretty. Then English went out about town and everyone laughed at her, so she broke her heel off and bashed the crap out of everyone. And went home and cried.
So in a way, it’s all due to people falsely attributing a grander tradition to English than it really warrants. I sort of like normal people using the word ‘epic’ every now and then, just like I liked it when so-called ‘chavs’ (also known as people who happen to be poor and like urban music) started saying ‘vexed’. They just sound good, who cares if the meaning is a little devalued? No-one (worth mentioning) would use the word “epic” in a poem in any way other than a literal reference anyway, it comes with too much ‘baggage’. Snobs were wasting it, let everyone else have a go.
This crap about ‘poetry of language’ all generally boils down to “I used to like epic. Then it got all MAINSTREAM and COMMERCIAL.” Truth is, anyone actually seriously working with words will avoid words like “epic”, “awesome”, “dragon”, because, as I’ve said, they are a pre-packaged deal, there’s no wiggle-room or ambiguity in the definitions.
Eh. I found the comic amusing because it contrasted how “Epic” was used in regular life with how it would fare under the sceptical gaze of people who’ve actually seen characters from epic poetry unsw. But the discussions successfully trolled me (I have a few friends who say ‘Epic’ often, and I love em). Screw anyone who looks down on ANYONE for using words stupid-like.
It isn’t about people using epic “every so often” it’s bout people who use it as their primary adjective to describe everything. If you can tolerate those people, good on you, please don’t encourage them for sake of the rest of us. When I ask someone how a TV series I’m considering was, I want to hear, say, “It’s modern with some fantasy undertones, it gets off to a comical start but the story doesn’t start going anywhere until it gets a little more serious, the characters are depicted pretty realistically, but it’s frustrating watching some of them deal with each other because so much of the conflict is just misunderstanding that they could easily get past.” not “It’s epic!”. Or if I ask someone what they like about a painting they’re into, I’d get a lot more out of hearing how they appreciate the ways the artist uses colour, form, stylization and negative space than “It’s epic!”
I could teach a parrot to say “epic” and have the same quality of conversations with it as I do with these people. Maybe you can go to the hospital sometime and have the doctor tell you that you have “epic sickness” so you can appreciate why people who throw out all of their adjectives and descriptive variety are frustrating to listen to.
It sounds as though your primary beef is with folks that are unable to adequately convey their feelings regarding things. The specific word is basically coincidental to that.
That specific word is the one most people choose as the crutch for their laziness, it would seem. Right from roommates to coworkers to internet acquaintances.
“YOU CAN’T STOP LINGUISTIC EVOLUTION”
BUT GOD DAMN IT THE FRENCH WILL TRY! They have a dedicated team of grammarians that are determined to make sure that new words like ‘internet’ and ‘computer’ are never used in France, instead they came up with new french ways to pronounce and spell them, how to put them in feminie and masculine form, and how to place them in a sentence. VIVA LA FRANCE
And it is such a fraud, because French is nearly as bad a linguistic mongrel as English is.
I am now ashamed to admit that I’ve used ‘epic’ once or twice and ‘win’ and ‘fail’ a billion gakajamillionshillion times. (that numerical value is so incomprehensibly huge that it generally causes the asplosion of one’s brain and / or cranium region)
And hey… Do you guys reckon you could make the site more ‘mobile friendly’? (i guess you would say ‘cell phone friendly’)
I only use epic for things that are pertain to large-scale narratives. I think I might be safe!
Then again, no-one is safe from Commander Badass.
Also, when even my mother says “epic fail” in conversation (and she certainly didn’t hear it from me), you know it’s old meme.
Yes holy shit! We needed one of these at the pool I worked at during the summer. All it was every day was this kid saying “epic fail” in the most annoying voice ever!
Seriously if he started drowning I’d probably wait a few extra seconds before savin him.
And then it would have been an EPIC SAVE!
Or his last words would have been EPIC FAIL as he died because you didn’t save him in time.
Bummer, dude.
That is one happy teenager. Is Jared even a teen?
Commander, I salute you for being…awesome.
Yeah, Jared’s 18.
that depresses me. i’m older than him and i still haven’t got a gyrados. :C
This comic is Winfailepic?
That sounds like an operating system.
I love the Commanders coffee mug, it’s very sweet. :)
I love the fact that you called it the “Epic Jar”. XD
Did his kids make him that mug on his desk?
Yes indeed.
All I can think is that the so called ‘Epic Jar’ should be, you know, bigger.
Or at least jarier than other jars.
So…I take it you weren’t a fan of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World?
It was fun but it didn’t change my life.
I just flashed back to CSM Slocum admonishing me: “Don’t be sorry, be squared away!”
But how will I describe Beowulf to people now?
Long. With fighting.
And lots of boasting.
Jared should be making the HAMBOIGAHS face in the first panel.
You do realize that if we don’t kill this movement, historians will call our time “Era of Stupid” given the observation of our vocabulary and lazy spelling.
No they won’t. If it continues, they’d call our era something we primitive folks won’t understand because they will communicate solely with elite abbreviations and misspelled words that are misspelled differently by different people. Our era would be laudable in their sights! (That’s a frightening future.)
Commander Badass – best mentor ever.
Somehow this seems ENTIRELY in keeping with what Commander would do. If it were anyone else holding the Epic Jar I don’t think it would have worked as well.
The English Major in me appreciates this. The jackass college student in me feels for Jared. This strip and the following discussion have reminded me of George Orwell’s essay on Newspeak that he wrote along with 1984. Orwell would be most pleased with the Epic Jar.
The overuse of “epic” and similar neologisms is doubleplus ungood.
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one that thought of 1984.
I agree wholeheartedly.
My question is this: what does the jar fund go towards?
THAT’S A STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY…
This is giving me Baldur’s Gate rage flashbacks
Thank God I’m not the only one who thought of that first.
Hell, shouldn’t Minsc be in this comic at some point? I know he’s a video game character, and those obviously shouldn’t be overused, but he’s also like this eight foot tall slab of Ranger that beats evil-doers to death with his fists and uses the word “Hero” to describe all of his friends.
Fun fact that most people don’t realize. “Epic” actually means “long” or “large”.
So if Jared were eating a foot-long sub or some such and referring to it as “epic”, he’d technically be using it correctly.
Also I love the photoshop gradient background in panel 2.
I hope you love it as much as I love people who get snarky when I replace a background or two with a gradient.
it is a pretty huge burger. i think that thing’s as big as his head.
If I can make a burger that size with like 15 minutes of effort, it doesn’t get to be called “epic”.
Perhaps it is actually a Gatorburger; and the chef needed to wrestle the gator TO DEATH; and the lettuce is actually leaves from a man-eating plant, the mustard contains Tibetan Horseradish (that only grows where yetis “go”), and the bread was grown and ground by hand.
Oh, and the pickle is actually sliced pickled sea cucumber.
Would that be epic? (It certainly wouldbe nigh inedible, tfdc)
Awesome comic is made of epic and win.
I fail…
That coffee mug with the handprints is totally epi…. wi….. aweso…. cute.
I laughed a little out loud, but cried a little on the inside.
I think coti should be as popular of an acronym as lol.
Wow, you must really hate the use of “epic fail” and “epic win.”
Awwww, I love that his kids made Commander’s mug. Are internet hearts acceptable? I hope so because it made me <3
So if the Commander has his own adorable mug made by his kids, why did he steal Gannondorf’s? And what happened to it? :O
Just because you have your own mugs doesn’t mean they’re always clean.
This is very true.
*looks over at collection of cups on desk, whistles innocently*
I assume Link broke it. Or Ganny took it back. Or Ganny took it back and then Link broke it, so we may see Ganny borrowing Commander’s mug in the future.
Somehow I do not see that happening.
This is a good idea!
My friends say epic at least five times a day.
And now I want a burger…
I always say, “Coolio.” :P
Heh :P
I always say ”Coolio”, ”Alrighto” or ”Neato” :P
Whenever I’m about to use the word “epic” I substitute “delicious”. That can get a bit awkward though.
…*shudder* That word made me picture the (fa)gator from All Dogs Go To Heaven. DX
Hey man Ken Page is awesome, don’t be hatin’.
“DELICIOUS FAIL!”
The LotR is a classic example of “DELICIOUS FANTASY!”
W-why commander has a big poster of a dude posing in a suggestive way on his office?
Man, I covered that one back in July.
Epic fail….OH SH-
You have taken my favorite adjective away and have given a compelling argument while doing so. I am happy sad. :)(
But how would the Commander feel about Pulp Fiction references?
You know what else you could have put in that list?
“Duuuuuuh!”
That word isn’t just annoying. It makes me ANGRY even if I’m not the intended “target”.
Ohhhh totally putting a “fail” jar in my house
Haha, he’s such a dad…
Oh. Oh damn. So many posts.
Almost to the point that a forum will be needed in a month or two it seems.
First day and we hit 150+?
Snap yo, snap.
I think a forum sooner rather than later would be super groovy.
Holy shit! That burger is as big as his face? Where can I go to get a giant face burger like that?
Well… Be it that the word “epic” (when not being used in terms of literary classification) pertains to unusual size or impressiveness, that burger very well COULD be the most epic burger Jarad’s ever seen, as it seems to be rather sizable. So, in this instance, he could be using it correctly… Huh.
Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m totally on the same page. The win/fail thing, while funny from time to time, should not be the norm; that’s disgusting.
Is Jared’s “awesome” face in the first panel intentional?
At this point I can’t tell if he’s self-aware or just stupid.
While the epic jar is a compelling idea, I hypothesis that it would easier to convince Jared not to say epic anymore, if whenever he said he received A PUNCH IN THE FACE. is manlier yes? also a little aversion therapy never hurt anyone.
True but that’s totally not the way of Brando/the Commander’s style.
Besides, how can he buy the kids a present with punches to jared’s face?
he could offer to let the tigershark have a bite at jared.
That’s it.
I love you, Coelasquid.
You officially have my undying admiration.
Hmm….
I think some of this problem can be solved by making the youth of today watch:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Wayne’s World
Then us old people can feel all Nostalgic until that vernacular drives us insane again.
I am happy to say each comic you draw makes me love the commander even more.. I better warn my hubby ;)
Thank you for another awesome comic <3
“Incredible” is still okay, right?
I’m actually pretty lucky. My group will overuse an internet word for about a week at a time before relegating it to sarcasm or proper context. We have one friend who takes exception, but she proves my hypothesis that LOLcats cause steady brain damage. Incidentally, I hope that Commander Badass gets ordered to go back in time and shoot whoever invented “LOLspeak” in the face.
The Commander has given me a new torture for my teen. God Bless The Commander!
But, that burger DOES appear to be of epic proportions.
Epic is defined as “heroic; majestic; impressively great” not “mildly more impressive than normal”.
So what WOULD be an epic burger then? An edible burger the size of a house?
It would have to at least get a Guinness Record.
Which if you look it up would probably be about a couple hundred yards in diameter or something else completely unrealistic like that.
You have unrealistically high standards. A burger can be majestic merely by the grace and skill used in its construction. Likewise with impressively great. I don’t know about heroic, though.
How did that thing fit into it’s wrapper? Did it wear it as a cape? Even with one, I would denounce that burger as epic simply due to it’s apparent lack of bacon. I don’t need bacon on everything, but I definitely need it to make a burger proper in my eyes. Oh and icecream. Mmm bacon icecream.
Ever consider that the paper on the desk is simply the napkin?
I like/wear capes and stand firmly behind my statement.
Would placing “epic” in its proper context also include characters from the Warcraft universe referring to purple-quality loot?
Though stuff’s hardly worth the title at this point so perhaps there is merit in the Commander’s ban, given one can e*** oneself out within hours of hitting max-level. :|a
Oh Jared. All you were looking for in your life was a parent who cared enough to lay down some rules.
It’s about time someone has touched on this issue.
I grind my teeth every time I hear someone say “WIN” “FAIL” or “EPIC”.
I fear by the end of these being popular things to say, I will have grinded past my gums to the point that my jawbone is rubbing viciously against my nose.
Thats wicked awesome dude. totally.
Frankly I dont fully see the problem when people say it so long as the situation at least calls for it. however i can see how the subject of calling for it can be very highly subjective, but in the terms of using abbreviations or shorter words while typing online, i REALLY cant see how people have a problem with it. LOL, it stands for Laugh Out Loud, I have no problem with people using that over the web. I can see how the words are overused by the younger generations but that will always happen, there’s always some gap that separates one generation and another.
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N07 4NY M04R 47 L34S7, L337 SP34K 1S PR377Y MUCH D34D
P|=|=+ j00 9412 r 5|_|<|-| |\|00|35.
…I died a little typing that…
I tried to read that and my brain broke. Brb, restarting
so, okay, someone’s bound to answer this – how long has FTW been around? because i’m sitting under a tv in the dining hall and keep hearing “FOR THE WIIIIIIIIIIN” and feel like, if we had a FTW jar for sports, you could solve world hunger with the amount of money in it.
Half of that stuff has been around since the dawn of online gaming because people got lazy or just started hitting wrong keys on purpose for Sh**s and Giggles. L337 SP34K and txt speak have massacred modern grammatical structure and then people complain when their english teacher tells them you can’t put things like LOLUMAD in an essay.
…What does LOLUMAD mean? “(Laugh out loud) You mad”? Laugh out loud… undermining ads? Upon mine address domain? Under my arduous distress? Until my algorithm dies?
“Ha ha you’re mad.”
Actually, it’s a sarcastic question: ‘[Are] you mad?’
Why are you Well Actuallying a conversation that ended six years ago
A bunch of kids at my high school enjoy saying “epic”, “fail”, and “win”. Every time they say something like that, I tell them to stop, that they don’t know what they’re saying, that it’s stupid. Every time they ask why. Every time I die a little inside.
Ha, I love this comic. The comments are almost just as entertaining. However…what if when he ordered it, he ordered it from some Odyssey/Illiad themed restaurant/fast-food place, and it was indeed called…”The epic burger”, or rather “Fucking Epic Burger”? >.> Does this become okay? Hahaha.
The only burger I know that is “epic” is the Sticky Burger, which is a burger with Cheddar cheese, Bacon, and, get this, Peanut butter. But since “win,fail, and epic” Are prohibited, i’ll go with “Best damn burger I’ve ever had”
You see? By using those words, you more accurately described your tasty hot ground beef sandwich. :)
Commander was wrong to ban epic words. At least he’s getting rich.
I lol’d at Jareds face in the first panel.
If Jared had paid attention during English Class, he might have been able to justify his use of “epic” as an abbreviation for “epicurean.” But he didn’t.
DON’T BE A FOOL. STAY IN SCHOOL.
I use epic, win, and fail, but I don’t use it every other sentence.
You are Rad!
No. Epic is a upgrade of Awesome.
So the “epic face” emoticon is bound to appear someday?
This is the best candidate for a large-print poster so far.
I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic. I love this comic.
Is the gyrados-wielding girly boy getting more manly? Or am I seeing things? That’s quite a lot of chin, thar.
He’s always had a horseface.
Jared is everyone I ever met ever. Everyone else is seagulls. All of em.
“Mmmhm! This is a tasty burger!”
I thought the Epic Jar would be… larger.
This comic is such an epic win
Ugh.. my feelings exactly… for this… fail… win… all that shit. : | : ]
The Samsung phone with “name that shall not be uttered” is worthy of its name. I kill zombies, race cars, save the world with my sword, all while texting and making smart comments on fb all from the comfort of my bed no need to fire up the ole pc
I stopped using ‘epic’ when my mom tried to say it to me along with ‘lol’.
Shes such a troll. :U
Look at them goldfish C:
I want a skull in my fish tank too
awe!!! I love it! So awesome! even though some of the comments aren’t very hipster like, but they make the comic even more awesome :D
Lovin’ Jared’s drooly face. Must be an In-n-Out burger. xP
THANK YOU!
Say, writing “Epic jar” in a jar is not like writting “shit jar” in a swear jar? Maybe it should say “internet slang jar” or something.
I want to make a “Legit” jar.
That second panel is going to be cropped and reposted to hell and back.
I just got linked to this because I dared use “epic” in my fb status. I shall hang my head in shame.
I love this. Paying a fee to use certain words will keep you from devaluing them and make you think about what you say, encouraging creative and varied expression. I’d use a jar like that myself, if people around here spoke English more.
For some reason it’s mostly a problem with English. >_>
I have been more careful with my use of superlatives on the Internet since I read this strip, though. Not that epic, win, fail or even awesome are words I ever used daily. Holy crap, don’t get me started on Failblog.
Don’t apologize either Jared, it’s a sign of weakness. Gah I couldn’t help myself! It’s a saying from one of my favorite shows XD.
Does Jared always eat lunch with the commander?
Can’t everyone just leave it as a joke? Do we really have to defend the word “Epic” (It don’t count in quotes) and it’s usage? Can’t we just say “hay, that was funny, I’m going to use that as a joke now.” and move on?
In which Marv proceeds to invoke a BOTCH, with his attempt to WONDERSLANG.
I think eventually we can make language a complete barrier to understanding!
(All due respect to Bill Watterson)
Personally, I would declare that THIS IS DELICIOUS!, because I consider it more appropriate than calling a food item smaller than a whole turkey ‘epic’.
And then I putzed up. I mean JARED botches. Oh hell, I think I’m tired enough, that’s a night.
FAVOURITE SO FAR! 8D
Why do I get the feeling that most of the money in there was Jared’s?
I have to ask, is “Thanatos” a combination of “Thailog” and “Xanatos”?
Given that it’s been six years you might have already found this out, but Thanatos was the personification of death in Greek mythology.
I tried, I really did try reading all comments but there where simply too many
so I’m just gonna go out and say this…
Nobody noticed how Commander is breeding Magikarps?
which automatically brings us to the next question… Why?
Maybe the need for blunt force trauma to actually make it evolve…
In Lieu of catchphrases, why don’t we all try common english. (Or whatever your language of choice so happens to be?)
I will thusly provide an example:
This is a truly wonderful example of entertainment, and one that I thoroughly enjoyed. I hope you keep posting these for a long while yet, because they have, thus far, brought a bit of brightness and laughter to what is otherwise a dismal start to the working week. Good show, and thank you.
Sure it takes a little bit longer, but it’s still preferred to ‘Epic comic is epic’ which only takes the most rudimentary exercies of our language centers to produce.
Shouldn’t we, as a society of internet nerds, who enjoy the convenience of the internet for all the ease of communication it allows, spend a bit of time to hone our communication skills? It would also likely serve to blur the lines of geeky alienation in our tender years if we didn’t constantly speak like we were part of a secret society.
I know my high school years would’ve been more tolerable were this the case.
And this got a bit longwinded. Thank you for entertaining us, Coelasquid!
Hi all, I stumbled upon your blog by using Bing even as looking for a similar topic, your blog showed up, it appears good. I’ve got saved it within my google bookmark
(Things that go *bump* in the night.) But I couldn’t help noticing you were Bing searching and then Google bookmarked something. You know if you keep doing that flame wars will happen lmao.
I find it’s easy. Freefall firefights are epic, with that measuring stick you will never go wrong on your use of the word. However if that fails remember the odyssey, for true manly epicness.
Pffrrtt Bwahahaha !! I read that like 2 hours ago and I just got the joke! I though the tag “Epic Jar” was just a way to point how big the jar was. I though the Commander was reprimanding Jared for using a swear word … And I can’t stop laughing at my stupidness THANK YOU SO MUCH Coelasquid I really needed that laugh ^^
look at the comments on one of the first comments. first place here the epic jar is mentioned. i always love it when a comic artist listens to the fans. :3
i don’t know if we can be epic friends anymore
:c
I agree that “epic” has been put to use so much that it’s lost it’s true meaning. Just like how government & liberals keep overusing “terrorist” so that it now includes everybody on the planet.
Liberals aren’t the ones overusing ‘terrorist’. The majority of them don’t use the word even to describe actual terrorists.
I’m afraid you’ll find most of the people that misuse the word are ‘conservative,’ although that’s usually misusage too as those who self-identify as conservative almost never practice either social or fiscal conservatism.
Is it bad that when I look at Jarred in the third panel my mind cuts off his body and sees an ice cream cone with his features?
… I mean fourth panel, apparently I can’t count.
My first real encounter with the term “Epic” came from a certain offshoot of Warhammer 40,000… wherein everything was scaled down so vehicles that were truly massive could actually be depicted meaningfully. Somehow everything always gets referred back to that in my mind, which amuses me.
Still… I like those terms. I like using them in meatspace. Not so fond of it when typing, as this is my true medium… and I’ve got nothing to prove here.
I have to agree with the foul trifecta of “epic”, “fail”, and “win”. I found them to be okay around 2006-ish, because they were new and Fail Blog was a new thing. Suddenly the words seeped into what I would call the “normal” culture. Just like a record you get sick of from hearing it too many times on the radio, the words became something that would make you cringe rather than laugh. It’s a shame really.
I miss when epic meant really long and involved. Like historic epics. Weird how words change.
Commander Badass is the best Dad.
…caaaan I use the word “epic” if I’m describing a long and involved story I’ve been slaving on for nearly two decades? (Although it would still be an adjective, as I prefer to call it, noun-wise, a “saga”: “a saga of epic proportions.” Calling it an “epic” as a noun feels weird to me.)