Gay Chicken needs to end so I can start using Kratos for other things
October 17, 2011
12:00 am
While Kratos and Leonidas have their share of similarities, they’re also very different in some key respects. Frank Miller has said in interviews that as a young child, the thing that really inspired him about the story of the 300 Spartans was how it taught him that victories are not necessarily what make heroes. While tenacious, Leonidas doesn’t quite measure up to Kratos’s unyielding drive to win, which is not unlike an angry bull moose trapped in a Chinese finger trap made of rage.
I feel like of the two, Leonidas would have a greater capacity to graciously accept defeat.
Discussion (272) ¬
Hahahaha Quality
Press O to hug.
+1. You sir, are a fantastic human being. Laughed so hard I scared all the cats and dogs away….
*a single manly tear*
*taps computer screen fruitlessly* :’C
This is the first time that I ever deemed it necessary to comment on this comic. I’ve come close, but never have I actually done it. Another +1 for you. If it wasn’t so late, I’d be rolling on the ground, but instead I’ll just accept laughing so hard that I pee my pants. Well done.
another +1 or you, good sir.
I’m guessing a loud sound would play if I had sound right now, judging from the other comments.
That or I have no clue.
While I applaud the end of gay chicken I also have a hard time to pity Kratos.
Back to effin up gods and tearing through hot greek bitches. ;)
(Hopefully not with the chain blade thingies.. )
Didja forget the part where he murdered his wife and children in a God Induced Fit of Rage? Someone posted below that the greek gods were dicks, and they really are. They’re a bunch of petty, selfish assholes, and frankly, nothing made me happier than watching Kratos swordfuck the whole lot of them right to the grave.
The Greek Gods interactions with the Greeks were an expression of humanity.
If the entire story was to come full circle, in the end, Kratos would have to destroy all of humanity to completely rid the world of the Gods.
The problem with that is, that Kratos would do it.
Which is fine, but still. I find it funny people seem to disconnect humans from the Gods like “OMG they were such dicks and mortals are not!”
Yeah but the gods are dicks with power. Those are worse than regular, mortal dicks.
So the gods are like politicians, generals and CEOs?
high five sir
You’d almost think it was a metaphore for something.
There’s a reason these stories have stuck around. ;)
+1
To be fair, he pretty much did. Spoilers and all that, but how many people do you think are left after all that shit?
Wait so Kratos is Hercules?
No, but he royally kicked Hercules’ ass. The Kevin Sorbo Hercules, no less.
Well Hercules (originally called Heracles) did kill his first wife and children after Hera made him go crazy. I think that’s the main reason why that question was asked.
Don’t you mean back to showing off the impressive resolution of the televisions at Best Buy?
No, silly, he got fired from Best Buy. Probably.
So what you’re saying is that someone would work up the balls to fire Kratos?
It is all in the delivery. Kratos, why is a powerful man like you still here in Best Buy? I think you have far more potential. I want you to think about career options that would actually challenge you. Take some time off until you come up with a good challenging career for yourself.
That’s right! Married people are all losers!
That’s the sole message I’ve received here.
I’m married and I ain’t no loser. You wound me, sir or madam.
I don’t think he’s necessarily endorsing it… just what he’s gotten from this story arc.
Nah, I didn’t say he was. I just thought it’d be funny to post that.
The message I got was “Leonidas is a loser, and Kratos is victorious…. or are they?”
Heh. I’ll take a lovingly family that respects and supports me over an empty daring game victory anyday.
YOU FOOL
It’s the final panel that says otherwise. Leonidas has a family to go back to, an actual wife and child. That’s worth far more than simple “honor”.
Kratos has neither jack nor shit, much less jack shit.
I was being sarcastic.
GAME OVER: you got married!
You sir, just made my day.
‘madam’ technically. Kelly’s…well, a girl. :P
No way, girls don’t exist on the internets :P
-_- It’s not 2004 anymore.
If you are a troll, whatever. But if you’re actually serious-
God have mercy on your soul.
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
MMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girls do too! I saw one once.
Pics or it didn’t happen.
She didn’t see me… I was hiding.
Every time someone says that, they ensure that there will be a few fewer girls on the internet.
Statements like this are, in fact, the reason that girls online are so rare. Or at least, the portions of the internet where these statements crop up so frequently.
Knock it off, it ain’t funny anymore.
–A Girl
I don’t really understand the logic to leaving the internet because someone said “no girls on the internet”
“Oh, I’ll show you! By… increasing the accuracy of your statement…”
I don’t think they are even thinking clearly. It’s not logic at all to just prove some guy/girl with dumb comment like “There are no females here” right on the internet. Taekwon even got it wrong too. There has been more females on the internet since 2003. Probably even before that.
Well before that, definitely. I used to hang out with friends in chatrooms around ’96-’97; easily half of the people hanging out in there were women, and I ended up talking with plenty of them on the phone, so I can certify that they definitely weren’t the old stereotype of the old-hairy-guy-pretending-to-be-a-woman, either…
I think the only reason people think there are no women on the internet is that, for the most part, it’s the guys who start having dumb arguments all over it. It’s the same thing with American tourists, come to think of it. 95% of them are great, courteous, polite, friendly, the kind of people you’d like to meet — but the other 5% are loud and obnoxious. Guess which ones get noticed?
I always figured it was, you know… Just a joke about that very stereotype of all the girls being hairy men. Never really based on what anybody actually thought was true.
I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what it is.
It isn’t that… It is the number of guys pretending to be girls… as opposed to very few girls pretending to be guys.
Those poor, stupid sods who try hitting on a “girl” just to find out it is a guy in disguise tend to start distrusting all the other supposed females… AND so a strange legacy unfolds.
I chose an arbitrary date to point out the fact that the saying is hopelessly dated and not really funny in any sense anymore. It’s not offensive, it’s not ironically funny, it’s just… kinda stupid.
What? It’s a rule deeply ingrained in the rules of our society. The reality of the statement doesn’t matter. As far as I’m concerned, the moment a woman joins the internet she becomes a man; merely for the sake of upholding our satirical rules (honestly, if you didn’t notice this was nothing more than harmless, and possibly even helpful, satire…I have no words).
Yeah, the above would greatly benefit from the sarcasm font which sadly has not been invented yet.
While your working on the sarcastic font, Chrysknife, why don’t you make a masculine font for Coelasquid.
XD Sorry Kratos, but at the end of the day, he stil had his wife and kid, while you murdered your way through an entire pantheon for essentially no reason.
Though why the gods didnt just erase his damn memories like he wanted them to is beyond me.
The Greek Gods are complete assholes. Anybody who knows anything about Greek Mythology will confirm this XD,
Pretty much, yeah. For all intents and purposes, the gods were basically small children with magnifying glasses, and the Greeks were all ants.
Kratos really didn’t have to kill everyone though. He could go back in time game 2. He could have, y’know, stopped himself from killing his wife and child and lived happily?
But if he lived happily ever after, from whence is the Kratos we need to go back in time? o.O
UNLESS, it is not time-traveling per se, but crossing into another world, so that that world’s Kratos can be happy, and this world’s Kratos is still effed. : /
He was favor by other gods after gow1 he could have just use that connection to get his Wife and child back from the dead. I kinda wish for a sequel where you play a slightly older daughter piss off that her dead beat father never visits and breaks out of the place she was in to search for him.
Without spoilers, you should play Chains of Olympus (If you don’t have a PSP, it’s coming to the PS3.). Krato’s daughter would have a little more to be pissed off about than “never visits”.
It’s already out for PS3, came out mid-September.
Isn’t it currently a Playstation+ exclusive, though?
Nope, you can trot down to Best Buy and pick up the disc whenever you want. “God of War Origins Collection” with Chains of Olympus and Ghost of Sparta.
More rage for a blonde child the better, when the game reaches to the point where a water soak kratos getting pummeled by his daughter.
Actually, as Plato put forth, the Gods were expressions of humanity with power.
In reality, Greek Mythology is just a way of showing how humans can be such huge dicks. Especially when granted Godly power.
I think you may be in the wrong place for an intellectual conversation on Humanity and its Obsession for Deities. College Forums? Great place. Webcomic Comment Section? Not so much…
I’m just entertained that people are all about how much the Greek Gods were dicks, and somehow Kratos/mortals are an exception. It’s even showing in the comic – he’s just as big a dick as the Gods he went about killing.
I don’t think it’s so much that people are saying mortals aren’t dicks, but how the Gods are bigger dicks. It comes with the territory of being an omnipotent asshole with Godlike powers and a perchance of pissing all over mortals. Mortals can’t exactly piss back. They can try to mess with the Gods, but that normally ends poorly. And I only say normally because Kratos here, one giant asshole mortal (Before the end of the first game), kicks all kinds of Godly ass.
It you look back on the messages you commented on, not one actually said mortals were innocent in all of this. Just that the Greek Gods were unlike most other pantheons in that their Gods were admitted assholes with few redeeming qualities.
Interestingly enough the Greek’s believed that rain was literally the Gods pissing on them.
Wasn’t just the Greeks. There’s a reason the singular term for Aesir is áss. I can’t help but suspect Fenris, Jormungand, and Hel would have been perfectly cool with and maybe even helped them during Ragnarok if they hadn’t labeled the three siblings monsters and tried to murder or torture/imprison them over crimes foretold, which probably wouldn’t have happened at all if the Aesir didn’t set things into motion by trying to kill or imprison them.
Thing I love about GoW is nobody- Gods or Kratos is blamess. They both contribute to the creation and destruction of each other. If Kratos would face the fact he fucked up when he made the mistake almost EVREY young rising military star makes in chosing his career and glory over his family he would not be what he is now. He has a few moments where he does- but why deal with complicated emotions when you can just KILL EVREYTHING right now and deal with the emotions later.
And if the Gods had actually followed through with letting the man heal instead of keeping the wound of his wrong doings open and weeping they probably would not be dead.
Play GoW3. /end.
I think that the Greek gods were supposed to represent small parts of one being, when they cooperate they can make great things happen, but when separate the flaws of each one appear ( Ares is violent, Zeus is paranoid, Aphroditie is egotistical, etc etc)
and because of this caused Kratos to rip the intestines out of them and use them to decorate his walls
Under the Dome, by Stephen King. Case in point, to the letter.
Leonidas is awesomer.
The reason the gods were such dicks in the games,well,at least in the second/third one,is because those sins/evils inside pandora’s box came out when Kratos opened it and they went inside the gods,turning them into almighty douchebags,although Kratos didn’t kill all of the gods,Aphrodite was still alive at the end of the game series.
I love Kratos’ laughing face.
Kratos’ disappointment in the last panel…over losing his Gay Chicken partner/opponent, or over his own lack of wife and child? Both make very good sense.
Probably both, since he is a lonely man, and killed his own Wife and Child.
Pass the jar Commander, because this comic is EPIC!
This is absolutely beautiful. Poor, poor Kratos… painful sense of irony for him here.
And secretly, we all know who won.
“Secretly” because I sure don’t want Kratos to kick down my door and murder my whole family…
If he decides it’s worth his time, then damn it he’s gonna do it.
I love laughing mad Kratos.
Over?
You just know that they’re going to keep it going on the down low.
I have to agree with Coelasquid – of the two of them, a man who is a leader such as Leonidas would know sometimes you have to give ground for a greater cause.
Krato’s is sad and reflecting on his past. Quick- throw this man into a Death Pit so he can mawl and murder untill evreything is dead!
cuz gods forbid that man ever feel anything other then rage.
Hey, it’s worked for him this far hasn’t it?
If by working you mean successfully brutally destroying everything by the skin of his teeth while bagging hot slave/sex workers yes.
If you mean getting his nightmares to end, be back with his family and have his cake and eat it too? Not so much.
This was quite an unmanly moment, really. Not really fitting most of this comic.
Perhaps if by “most of this comic” you mean “just the title exclusively and ignoring all the other strips where manly posturing is lampooned repeatedly”.
Where is the like button I must push it.
I looked for the upvote arrow…
I gave Sasuga kudos.
Agreed. We have the lead male that is a dedicated family man, Ganondorf who is just a legitimate business man, Canadian Guy who wants us to remember the little enjoyments in life, and Jared with his be yourself message and Kratos being sad about his lot in life doesn’t fit in. Confusing.
And Dante who cross stitched a bear into his arm, and the Big Daddy who attacked the parents of the kids it was guarding, and Krauser who locked Chris Redfield in his car and dressed up like him to get Wesker’s attention, Commander who went back in time to punch himself in the face, Kain who needs to constantly kill people or he’ll die, Duke Nukem who puffs himself up to hide what a fanboy he is…
I thought with all of that, your message was clear that a real man is not just a macho, destroy everything in sight, unless it’s women or food, then use those as appropriate stereotype that everyone sticks with. I like that message Coelasquid. I guess Thisnthat didn’t get the memo.
The point of this comic is that I make fun of ludicrously macho action heroes and stereotypes. People who come in on a weekly basis saying “Well this isn’t very manly!” are more often than not completely missing the point.
Ya, I know. I just happen to be agreeing in a roundabout way. I been annoying you with my comments long enough.
I’ve actually never been able to decide Wesker really belongs in this comic. He’s mostly done the arrogant god complex thing that you see in alot of villians. But Wesker sadly truely believes that he’s making the world a better place by taking over and wiping out most of humanity. He didnt ever seem overly macho to me y’know? More of a Rogue type than a warrior.
Chris and Krauser on the other hand…hoo yeah…. the testosterone drips from those two. :-/
Though imo Jill Valentine is more manly than Sir-Whinesalot Chris Redfield.
Which is why I’m here.
The mocking of machismo… and those wall-of-meat type guys…. Ugh.
It totally fits. It’s showing he’s less of a man than Leonidas because his priorities are retarded.
Are you for real?
Obvious troll is obvious bro.
Sorry Kratos, but you just got dumped.
I want to see an alternate ending where he watches Dirty Dancing while eating ice cream and cries.
Just do a whole comic series replacing Zoe Deschanel with Kratos in all the episodes of New Girl. CHANGE NOTHING ELSE.
I’d be more than pleased to watch Kratos doing the slow chicken dance from ep. 3.
And have him singing his own theme song. “Who’s that God, who’s that God, it’s KRATOS!”
PRESS O TO LEAVE DRUNKEN VOICEMAIL
Does this count as “It’s not you, it’s me” scenario?
Kratos and Leonidas…the (b)romance is OVAH.
Very good reasoning there, Coelasquid. But as the Commander says, the only real way to win Gay Chicken is not to play in the first place. And he was right, just look at how crestfallen Kratos is there, despite his supposed victory.
Great way to end the Gay Chicken arc.
Poor Kratos. Your honor isn’t so great when you have no one to share it with, is it.
My mind leapt from your comment to this NSFW Oglaf comic…
Yikes.. I did not need to see that before going to bed. Serves me right for clicking though cause I’ve seen what that comic contains before.
Doesn’t mean I didn’t laugh but.. “Victory at Sea” eh? haha xD
Yeah… That needs a somewhere.
That is supposed to say “That needs a ‘WARNING: NUDITY’ somewhere”
But I put the “WARNING: NUDITY” inside html brackets, so…
WARNING: GAY SEX
Blocked by the firewall.
STOP THE NUDITY!!!
Indeed. Kratos just shot himself in the foot, in more ways than just one.
Leonidas seems to be more manly this time. He assumes defeat calmly.
As an avid player of “gay chicken”, I can tell you, no one ever honestly “wins”, you just lose less than the other guy(s)
As an avid spectator of “gay chicken,” I can tell you the ladies win.
As a bisexual guy, I can tell you that I win, every damn time.
I’ll be in my bunk.
As a guy with a secure handle on his sexuality and humor I win every time as well.
…Isn’t a bisexual playing Gay Chicken an automatic cheater?
I always win because I never play
Great humor comes with great characterization. My uncle Sten taught me that.
…I’m jealous.
I want an uncle Sten. ._.
This… isn’t quite how I expected “accepting defeat” in gay chicken to end.
“…which is not unlike an angry bull moose trapped in a Chinese finger trap made of rage.”
This is absolutely beautiful. <3
You’ve got a wife and kids? You’re gay! xD
Got a chuckle out of this comic, thanks <3
Mayhaps murder is getting a bit stale for our Kratos.
I love the last panel- it reminds me of Ambassador Udina after the Council initially tells you humanity’s not allowed in the clubhouse. Ambassador Sad Puppy.
Though technically Kratos may have won, with how Leonidas conceded defeat and how Kratos reacted, I think in a way, Leonidas proved he’s the actual winner for being man enough to concede the way he did :)
Well it just goes to show that in Gay Chicken, everyone loses.
Except the closeted gay guy who decides to play.
If losing is gay, and Leonidas just purposely lost, doesn’t that mean he won?
I’m so confused…X_X
Do you enjoy drawing Kratos making silly faces as much as it looks like you do?
Well really, who wouldn’t?
Press O to hug your…oh
I got 99 problems but a spartan ain’t one
And all this time, I thought they lived together for some reason.
offtopic to the comic here but how could quan chi keep Scorpion and Noob saibot around as menservants when Scorpion kill Noob(older subzero) for something Quan chi did in means of getting two piss off ninja wraiths and wasn’t really Noob fault.
which brings up to the reason to say all this, is Kratos only friends with exception with the agency MK and SC crew?
“with the Exception of the agency, is cast from Mortal Kombat and Soul Calibur?”
What the HELL are you talking about?
I don’t know what compel me to write all that, sorry.
Scorpion might fit in with them, considering that he too is a father that loved his son, but I don’t know how well MK would work. The women need as many lessons in dialing down the manliness as the men.
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
lolz that was funny, was it a quote?
Go to Know Your Meme. You will learn all you ever wanted to know about that phrase.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/has-anyone-really-been-far-even-as-decided-to-use-even-go-want-to-do-look-more-like#.TqNhF3L-WAg
yeah… the greek gods WERE like little kids with magnifying glasses, greeks the ants, but all the stories make more senseto me than, say, norwegian god fights!!
hey now.
(psst, that’s my mom)
Norwegian god fights make a lot more sense when you realize that a lot of what we know about them came from a Norwegian Christian’s, known for being a drunkard and slanderer. series of epics.
drunken slandering is always awesome. also , burning down churches :)
(psst, coela, ask your mom about scyld/ and or spear danes)
… your powers of observation serve you well, Coelasquid. His entire legacy of his was based on a glorious defeat, after all. And here I was, assuming they’d never end. XD
i’m not gay at all, but there’s something intensely manly about those two monsters faces meeting like that in panel 1. and kratos now knows what it feels like to be alone. yeah sure bud, you won. in the end, its much better to have a nice warm wife to go home to, and a kid you can raise and show the world “look, i made this. stand in awe, as i have now passed my manliness on”.
Only coela can make two dudes with their faces inches away from eachother look manly.
Allright, I laughed, out loud
Good Show Coela, really good show
I am sad, because this did not end in triumph.
Kratos’ face made me think of a small child who lost to another kid because the other kid wanted to just go home, and was like, screw this. I got a life. You win.
Um, yeh. That was the whole point.
So ronery!
Forever Alone.
Um… Exscuse me, but aren’t Oni Demons
I know Kratos killed his family, but it seems to me he should move on at some point. A new woman would never replace his wife, but a new woman might take some of the pain away.
He has sex a lot. You would think that that would help.
The entire female population of Greece(or the entire Mediterranean for that matter) wouldn’t satisfy his unstoppable kill-boner.
Kill the women after he’s had his way with piledriving them through the bed? Two birds with one stone!
You don’t always have to fuck her hard. In fact sometimes that’s not right to do.
+1/2 internets for Tenacious D reference.
while that was a hilarious cartoon, i have to admit i dislike tenacious d. AND jack black. he’s just not that funny to me.
JB was funny at first, but he’s done the same schtick too many times (the burnout rocker) to be funny for it anymore.
As for TD, meh, it’s not my first… second… third… aw hell, I’d likely only listen to it if it was either that or rap…
Sometimes you’ve got to make some love
And fucking give her (or him!) some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you’ve got to say please
Sometimes, you gotta say “Hey. I’m gonma fuck you. Sweetly.”
Um, take a few big steps back, you just wandered into Creepy Town.
Kratos has some massive family issues, go figure.
Also: Kratos just smiled.
I’m gonna go over to a corner and cry myself to sleep now.
It’s a smile of malicious smugness, does that help?
But I agree, Kratos is one of the Scowly Men. Seeing him emote so thoroughly disturbs me.
Not in the slightest.
*cries some more*
Go home and be a family man! Oh wait…
Awwwww.
Also, this reminds me of my favorite scene in the Iliad, where Hector goes back into the city of Troy one last time to see his wife and son. It really showed another side of him, one that was kinder and not obsessed with spearing Greeks in the ribs and whatnot.
This is quite possibly the manliest comic yet. Well done! :D
Is it weird that I hear these two’s voices (and every other character who has a voice actor) in my head as I read the comics they feature in?
Naw. Not only do I do that, but reading things that have never been filmed or recorded my brain automatically fills in the person I think would voice that character. So if you’re weird, I’m like… triple weird.
Leonidas said that Kratos was a fine example of spartankind. Too bad that was such a venomous statement.
Ancient Greeks tended to loot and plunder pretty regularly and the Spartans were the mean Greeks of the day. That makes the Spartans real scumbags by modern standards.
Aw, poor lonely Kratos. Who’ll he shop for kitchen accessories with NOW?
the words there are no winners in gay chicken just came back again and thye are so true
bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Anyone else hear Bender saying “Aw, crap, now I made myself feel bad.” in the last panel? Anyway though, it’s for the best, Kratos, you need to resume looking for a job anyway since I’m sure you lost your one at Best Buy.
Somewhere, Pyrrhus is laughing.
ha ha…kratos made himself feel bad
AUGH I’M SO SAD
Poor Kratos is lonely now
I dont know if Kratos is sad because of the wife and kids thing…or because he already misses Leonidas as his partner.
I kind of want to give Kratos a hug, but I don’t think he’d appreciate it if I did.
Aww…poor Kratos. I’ve never played the God of War games, so I’m assuming his reaction to being hugged would be bad, but….I’mma do it anyway. *hugs poor sad panda!Kratos*
*is promptly disemboweled for not playing those games, hugging Kratos, and calling him a sad panda*
(Kratos doesn’t have a wife and kid of his own because he murdered them)
Wow…that’s horrible. That makes his looking all lonely make more sense.
it was an accident though. in fact, he was in the throws of rage trying to save them. it’s really a sad story.
I dunno, I have a hard time feeling sympathetic for him. The story was like “I WENT TO THE TEMPLE TO MURDER EVERYONE INSIDE BUT THEN I THOUGHT MAYBE I SHOULDN’T BUT THEN I DID ANYWAY AND MY FAMILY WAS IN THERE BUT IT WAS SMOKEY SO I COULDN’T TELL UNTIL I ALREADY MURDEREDDDD THEMMMM AREEEEEEESSSS!!!“
Ever since I learned about what Sparta was really like I can’t stomach seeing them as any kind of heroes. They were literally pure evil. (look up the helots).
But they also did this, which appears to have inspired modern frat hazing: Plutarch also states that Spartans treated the Helots “harshly and cruelly”: they compelled them to drink pure wine (which was considered dangerous – wine usually being cut with water) “…and to lead them in that condition into their public halls, that the children might see what a sight a drunken man is; they made them to dance low dances, and sing ridiculous songs…”
well, now you’re just making it sound FUN.
Spartans also raided their neighbors and burned their crops. That had a lot to do with Athens not showing up until Sparta was doomed. Any idiots could have held the pass at Thermopylae when it was only 3 people wide (contrary to the wild fantasy of 300). Particularly when you add in 1,000 Thespians who were just as good at war as the Spartans but were far less creepy.
“Kratos’s unyielding drive to win, which is not unlike an angry bull moose trapped in a Chinese finger trap made of rage.” ok no matter your position on Kratos, that line is great
That pose of Kratos smiling in the sixth panel is great; though I’m not sure why I like it so much.
Just do.
Frank Miller says a lot of things that aren’t actually true about 300. Also inside of 300.
Havin’ seen the (1962) movie he based the comic on, apparently what initially impressed him was how effectively the Persians can be made into a stand-in for the Soviets, as long as you put a lot of freedom-loving anachronisms into Sparta.
Tell that stuff to the Helots who died on the front lines at Thermopylae, Frank.
Something is always lost in translation. For one thing I think the Spartans absolutely hated democracy. The strong get a voice, the weak die. I’m probably misinterpreting this entirely. Only bit of Greek knowledge Im fairly sure of is that Athenians treated women like chattel (less rights than slaves) whereas Spartans had equal rights going or something akin to it.
No one makes it across the board with a clean slate…
I think in Miller’s case, it’s more plain ignorance. Somehow his Spartans are openly scornful of, to whit:
1. Superstition, as embodied in their own religious traditions.
2. Pederasty, in this case pushed off as a particularly Athenian custom. (Agoge, Leonidas, Agoge.)
3. The Persian “slave empire,” as distinguished from the more acceptable Greek slave empire.
Whole set-up kind of ignores that the Battle of Artemisium (won by Athens’ preposterous naval build-up) is what really kept the Persians from overrunning Greece, but that one is a forgivable conceit since we’re dramatizing Thermopylae in particular.
Well, I think the Battle of Artemisium would have been an equally important part of the story if the Greek poets actually wrote a dramatic and detailed account of it. The reason why Thermopylae is so central in most people’s minds in the defeat of Persia is that it was retold so many times in such a dramatic fashion, singing the bravery of Leonidas and his 300.
Which is the problem with a lot of history from back then. It’s hard to tell what is truly the most important story and what isn’t, because most history is passed down by bards and poets by word of mouth or in crumbling records, and favorite events get more and more dramatic and important as they are told.
I think the entire point of the 300 is that Leonidas tried to stall the Persian land forces for as long as possible, granting the rest of Greece a chance to recognize the threat and prepare an adequate defense. Much like the Romans did in a lot of campaigns that are highly emphasized in Roman history – a few brave men taking on entire legions of foreigners in the hopes of eventually winning time for their fellows.
That’s generally the way it’s pitched, yes. As in this case.
And it makes sense; it’s certainly true that the Greek forces were outnumbered, in a situation where victory in the normal sense was actually impossible, but they fought anyway. That’s heroism if there’s such a thing as heroism.
Though, the details tend to get fuzzy with all the retellings. The numbers suffer the worst deflation, in order to throw the Spartans’ military prowess into sharp relief. The Spartans were joined by (thousands of) free Greeks from the other city-states, as well as (an uncounted number of) slaves who were actively pressed into battle, much as Xerxes did. In Greek verse that makes sense, but we’ve got access to all sorts of historical and archaelogical information. Though Miller’s version makes a casual nod to the rest of Greece, no Helots in sight.
I don’t think Miller wanted to tell the story in a historical sense. I think he wanted to tell a fantastic story about Thermopylae in the manner that one of Leonidas’ men would tell it (I mean, that’s how it is in the 300 comic – a survivor of Thermopylae telling his fellow Greeks the heroic tale just before battle with the Persians to lift their spirits). In the manner of how a bard would tell it – embellishing some details, while ignoring the more depressing ones. In order to make a point about bravery.
So… A comic book comes off like a comic book and the movie based on it is like a comic book and bears no relation to reality so you have a problem with that. I hated the movie 300 because it had no bearing on the reality of Thermopylae but I knew it was a comic book kind of movie and expected it to be monumentally stupid. That made it fun to watch. It was like Plan 9 From Outer Space but with special effects.
Hah, the first thing I thought when I read the description was “Frank Miller says a lot of things, period.” Unfortunately for everyone who was appreciating him on an exaggerated or ironic level, it now appears that he actually straight-up believes them.
Awwww…poor Kratos…he made himself sad…
d’aww, poor Kratos. It’s okay, you’re in a commercial now. You’re famous.
This is equal parts hilarious and sad.
Aww Kratos made himself sad… However, he made us laugh, nicely done!
i would kind of like to know what happened to c.urvy.org. i know, i’m plugging another web comic, but damnit, i follow things. to the END. like gay chicken. :p
Dood. Curvy still updated once a week. You’d think, if you had time to post about it, you’d have time to look at the site O.o
really? then why hasn’t either ie nor firefox been able to load the site for more than a week now? please think before you speak/reply. i wouldn’t ask if there wasn’t a triply checked issue that came out of nowhere with no good reason to it that i can’t fix on my own (yet). this includes ANY external link from ANYWHERE using both ie and firefox (update: opera too) i’m beginning to wonder if i might have to proxy it. but thanks! your reply didn’t help in the least.
i suppose it could be my isp, but why now out of the blue?
It loads fine for me and everyone else I know who reads it. So it’s just you.
Many sites now block browsers infected with scumware.
Kratos in panel 6 has about the most evil expression I’ve seen all year, and I’m a schoolteacher!
What? Kratos can hug his family any time he wants. He just needs to hug himself.
Yet another plus over Leonidas.
That is terrible, but I can’t help but laugh.
So if he wants to f*** his wife…
I just realized something bizarre.
If you combine the insane violence and irrationality of Kratos with the mortal nature and military leadership of Leonidas, you get Agamemnon of the Trojan War.
~D.
After all this, I ship Kratos and Leonidas. I regret nothing.
Where do you ship them to?
Kratos is so determined to win, he fucks THE WHOLE PLANET instead of giving up.
what i love is that king of the gods zeus loved seducing women, as different animals, wtf
also in rome he was called jupiter optimus maximus
the first and the best for those who arent fluent in latin lol
Oh the irony
Well, the conjugation would have it flow more like the very first and the best Jupiter; implying that he is the first in a line of Jupiters, and that he was the best of them all.
At the same time, I doubt the writers really knew much about that as Jupiter is spelled Iupiter in Latin. (The letter ‘J’ didn’t exist yet.)
I just remembered that Zak Snyder butchered Leonidas as a character harder than Kratos could ever dream of.
I’m sorry to bring that up, it’s just sticking in the back of my head now.
I am now assuming that Kratos is saying aw because he actually fell in love. Nobody can stop me from thinking this. NOBODY.
sounds like you’re already stopping yourself
So sad, yet so funny.
this comic made me sad =(
I would think if they were both truly spatans neither would surrender. The only option to bow out would be death, but maybe Commander house broke them a bit more then I thought.
I dunno, Leonidas seems to know when to cut his losses for the greater good.
“But in a totally manly way~!” – Chris Turk, My Musical.
Just found this comic and read the archive. It’s great, how often does it update?
Mondays
Welcome to the only thing that makes me get up on Mondays…
D’aww.
foreveralone.jpg
One is the loneliest number.
Two can be as bad as one.
There was something about the third panel that had been bothering me all this time. Something about their faces didn’t seem quite right, what could it be?
It just hit me: I don’t think I’ve ever seen these two with a relaxed face. Hell, maybe I should say a “relaxed brow”. Obviously not an artistic flaw, it’s just these ludicrously macho Spartans are born with a frown and a scar.
I think Leonidas has just show to everyone that even the manliest men don’t have to show their manliness through brute force and winning at gay chicken. True manliness is of the spirit, both fierce and powerful, yet reserved and refined.
Leonidas is the real winner here.
*shown, I mean. ‘Shown’ to everyone.
Poor Kratos. He’s trying so hard, but in the end he cries himself to sleep while the scent of pomegranate candles wafts through the air as he remembers the past…Ikea trips.
I fucking love every single person who posted on here.
I look forward to the comment almost as much as I look forward to the comic. XD
We love you too.
Please please please please PLEASE make a Mr.Fish “I’m the King of Everything” shirt! It would be so great
Hah! I still think Leonidas won. After all, he has a wife waiting for him in bed and a son waiting in the practice ring.
What dose Kratos have?
Victory in a staring contest and eternal life…..
In his quest to find someone else to play Gay Chicken with, Kratos encounters Sten, and challenges him. Sten, not finding it worth his time, kicks Kratos in the dangly bits and saunters off to find cookies.
Sten’s answer to most everything is ‘No’.
Also, the mental image of Sten sauntering is hilarious!
I can just imagine someone playing “Staying Alive” in the background as Sten does so”.
Eventually Sten turns a corner and stares down the singer, then says “Stop”. The singer obviously complies.
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk
I’m the Qun’s own man–no time to talk
Rebels grey and organs warm
I’ve been Beresaad since I was born
And now parshaara, it’s a bas,
And I disdain it, just because
The Qun can try to understand
The Blight’s effects on foreign land
Whether you’re a brother,
Or fighting the Broodmother
You’re slaying the ‘spawn, slaying the ‘spawn.
Feel the city burnin’
And saarebas turnin’
And we’re slayin’ the spawn, slayin’ the spawn
Ah, ha, ha, ha,
Slayin’ the spawn
Slayin’ the spawn
Ah, ha, ha, ha,
Slayin’ the spawn–
Congratulations, you’ve won. You’ve won everything.
-Everything-.
Since Halloween is coming up, I think now would be a good time to point out that Commander Badass looks exactly like Simon Belmont from the Captain N cartoon.
Just saying. Other likely candidates include Cid Highwind from FF and Damon Baird from Gears.
…and that went in the wrong comment box. Screw.
Heh, cool. Kratos is way too angry.
Way to push the self destruct button Kratos.
Apparently spartans are not very good at sewing.
lmao fail
Wanna hear something funny? I think Leonidas actually won here. He respectfully admits defeat and goes back to his wife and child. Which,I’ll remind you,Leonidas still has. I think he kinda burned him there. XD
*sigh* I forfeit the former changes this is not how you play gay chicken