05/31/2010
May 31, 2010
12:00 am
I guess if you were paying attention to the Commander talking about the “girl who passes by every so often” bringing him cookies, the reappearance of the lady from the first strip shouldn’t be too much of a surprise.
Duke has tiny arms…
Just horribly botched perspective.
Ah. Okay then.
They just seem small compared to everyone else’s in this strip.
Not -horribly-
I LOLed
Great. Have seen and now cannot unsee.
Not to Jared’s, I think that that’s the only guy in the strip with smaller arms
the zirvan guy during the rock show who was alternative looked smaller
now I see what that poor guy is going through..
At least they weren’t vestigial… *cough*
He is actually descended from the mighty T-Rex.
Don’t talk about him like you know what he’s going through!
Poor guy must be having side effects from years of Bubble Gum withdrawals.
He may have just OD’d on kicking ass…. or someone tested his ‘balls of steel’
O poor Duke, when will you crawl down from that tree you are held up in?
RIP Duke Nukem Forever
Its not a tree, its a girder. It looks like hes under a bridge of some-sort. Probably something to do with ‘its my way or the hi- Hell, its my way’.
bridge just seems like the kind of place a person would go in a particularly suicidal mood.
Just wanted to say that I adore this comic, and that seeing something that’s actually funny and nicely drawn on the internet fills me with joy.
Ha… man, that was good. I told you that your stuff is good in your e-mail. Keep it up!
You should make a 90’s XTREME! tribute filled with Liefeld esque art.
That would be quite the comic.
Every guy without exception has this kind of day, amirite? Dang, I was hoping to view it at a later date so that I don’t have to wait for another seven days :D
Well, we all know that poor Duke has some procrastination issues. Don’t worry, Duke. It’s a problem that everyone deals with at some point in their life.
Poor duke… ;_;
i know what he’s going through
Do you? DO YOU? Were you held in development limbo for over ten years before the company that owned the rights to your game series finally closed its doors? Forever?
Announcing that they had not managed to sell the liscense to another developer for further games?
All this coming to a head nearly seven years after having your thunder stolen by a cartoony, lackluster pick-up-and-play FPS of ridiculous nature? (Serious Sam totally stole Duke’s thunder)
Do you -really- know what the Duke is going through?
I LOL’d hard.
*through a megaphone*
It’s all right! Just calm down! You can get through this! You’ll be fine!
Baldur from Too Human does. Although, I think Duke has it better off. At least he didn’t suck from the start…
Am I the only person in the world that does not regret purchasing that game?
lol funny random thought:
what if you drew a macho manly but female character trying to become part of that company or or something (I forget exactly what that place is. Back to the first one for me)
There are actually a couple candidates in Suidoken II. I’m horrible with names but the burly woman who defends the honor of pretty girls would be at the top of the list.
There’s also that one chick from Sakura Wars…
I’ve been thinking of doing something kind of like that with Shale.
As Shale is my favorite character in DA, I heartily approve of this idea.
F-Yeah! And it’s not like the guys would notice, right? She’s got rock hard pecs (literally) to make all of them weep! XD
I approve this message. For extra irony, I’d propose using 12 year old Toph from Avatar: The Last Airbender, but she’s not a videogame character even if she was technically in some really crappy THQ Avatar games. Also it’s your comic and that means you should do what ever the hell you want. Even cry if you want to, cry if you want to.
I agree with you so hard. Toph would MAKE this comic.
THIS.
This right here.
Do this.
Character depth, eh? Interesting. Can’t wait to see where it goes
Also, love the comic/your other art and all that. I know it’s been said by many, but it bears repeatin’.
Passerby Girl’s over 18, right? ‘Cause I’m kind of shipping her and Commander now. *shame*
*fist bump* Totally joining you there.
Thank goodness I’m not the only one! <3
yeah, she’s like 29. I figure it’s not too out of line that she looks young, my roommate’s in her mid-late 20’s and still gets carded all the time :P
Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! That’s a *secret* shame. P:
Ahahahha, just think of how much you can rub it in our faces when we’re all 50 and you look 30.
Ya know, when I first saw him addressed as “Commander” I totally thought “HOLY CRAP! COMMANDER KEEN GREW UP! And he’s a BEEFCAKE.”
I mean, he’s got the goggles and everything. But then, rather than a framed Pogo Stick and Blaster in his office, you have what looks like a black RPK-74. Damn.
And that was meant to be its own comment… oops.
His father’s the hero from Wolfenstein 3d-B.J Blazkowitz. Of course he’s gonna be relatively buff, even as a ‘science-hero’; It’s in the blood.
There are just some people who don’t age until they hit a certain point. Grant Imahara from Mythbusters is 40. … *sob* And I had the biiiiiiggest crush on him…
Grant’s…What…? Dammit android you just killed my dreams!*weeps*
It’s not so much that she looks especially young, just that she has a wider range of believable ages than the rugged-face manly men around her. ;) I originally thought “early/mid twenties”, but I thought I should hedge my bets.
dammit, cannot unsee.
the duke is here !
oh god, i hope we’ll ever get to play a DNF game.. even if it is fan based
i love this comic, it’s my favorite ;D !
the way you draw faces is just .. the best .
I was paying attention and wasn’t terribly surprised! YAY ME!
I never thought that the Commander is a guy to tell bold lies, though. Hahaha, people still caring about Duke Nukem…
Another great comic!
Thanks man
Keep em coming.
Duke needs some warm milk and cookies XD
….
and a wittle kitten with a caption.
Awww, just give him a babe wrapped up in gross alien pods and he’ll be fine.
every time I read this comic it just gets better and better. So glad my friend introduced me to it.
I’M SO SORRY.
I CAN’T RESIST THESE IMPULSES…
Abrasive*
OH GOD, WHY WAS I BORN A GRAMMAR NAZI
I’d be more concerned that you feel the need to text-shout about it.
Internet Tourettes.
Legitimate condition, or so anonymous tells me.
Yeah, have to agree. It’s spelled with one B, not two.
Well he obviously already pointed it out, but there’s no need to get out the Capslock about it. Especially since I can’t do anything to change it until I get home anyway.
While you’re at it, there’s an unnecessary apostrophe in the first strip, coincidentally also one of Passerby Girl’s lines.
Love your comic, by the way! <3
Yeah, I’ve been alerted to that time and time again, but honestly, making new comics is at a higher priority to me than deleting rogue apostrophes right now. I have like two hours a night to work on these things on a good day.
*snrk* Ahahahahah xD Poor Duke, but that really made me cackle.
…I have an evil laugh.
I’m really loving this comic :D I now look forward to Mondays!
Oh hey Sky, fancy seeing you here :P
Anyway, funny comic as always. Hopefully Duke comes down, we need more games like his!
I just want to say this is awesome. It’s possible to be manly and not be a douche!
Or is the proper term “be a dick”?
“Don’t be a dick, be a dude”
Words of a true hero.
Oh god I love your work man. But if your going to throw in a butch chick I vote any of the girls from devil may cry, or commander Shepard if you made a female one she was hella butch. On a side note I think I saw dante from devil may cry in one of the older strips so throwing one of those girls in would be funny,
Ah, that was actually Dante from Dante’s Inferno…
However, seeing Dante from DMC in this comic would not be bad either. hinthint coughcough
I think you and I have different definitions for “ludicrously macho”.
While we probably do, anyone with fiery fisticuffs is macho enough in my book. lol
Sailor Mars can do that, so I try not to use it as a basis of manliness.
Dante dressed in a sailor uniform punching demons with his fists on fire. Get me the mind-bleach, STAT!
:hands brain-bleach: This works better and is environmentally friendly!
Touche.
Dang. They even had a trailer at GDC last year and they cancelled it shortly after. Also, I’m smelling a romantic tie later with the Commander and the Cookie Girl.
Where is Duke sitting anyway?
A girder in a construction yard.
Representative of the perpetual “under construction” status of DNF?
Duke had better watch out for Donkey Kong…
Is the theme of this series of comics about things people constantly ask you to draw? I look forward to the return of Giovanni beating the red-coloured tar out of Mewtwo
Less flippantly, I love this comic
More “things I like to draw” :P If it was “things people constantly tell me to draw” the comic would be “Girly girls and Callie Maggotbone porn”.
I meant the last comic (everyone going on about Sten and his MFing cookies) and this one (I’m sure you said people were asking you to draw the Duke, though if you asked me for a citation I don’t think I’d find one). But yeah, this is ‘Coelasquid’s taste in amazing things: the comic’ and you’re awesome for it.
Never heard of Callie Maggotbone, but with a family name like that I’m not sure I’d want to see her in pr0n. Seems gross.
But a manly macho man that really deserves to be in this comic’s rogue gallery is Ben from Full Throttle:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PktBJ6HpNJQ
Shes the female lead in the cartoon I work on.
This is why the Commander is awesome. He’s macho but he still seems the kind of guy I’d love to hang out with.
Well… that’s horribly depressing and horribly hilarious.
Truth be told though, if ol’ Dukey there is going to jump he’ll need to get allot higher other wise he’ll never kill himself in one go.
He’s probably just trying to get attention.
That’d be a pretty funny situation though, jumping from the girders and climbing back up again repeatedly in a futile attempt to off himself.
i would have laughed more if the last panel didn’t sound -exactly like me-.
Coelasquid: You. Are. My. Hero.
So much manly. SO MUCH.
Is there gonna be something starting between the Commander and the-unnamed-woman? Seems like there might be now.
I love that continuity is becoming a factor.
OMG theses comics are pure win…Coelasquid u could ad about your site some moar or something like that because im only discovered this by pure extremely luck,i cant believe i almost missed this in my life and is a shame that a lot of people dont get knowing of this D:.
U have incredible awesome comic,the only bad part is that you release litte by little..and this just kill me inside >_<
Ahahaha, many thanks, but I can’t really crank them out any faster. I’ve got a real job that takes up most of my time :P
Maybe duke is having issues…because hes all out of gum. D:
This cracked me up immensely. Great job, sir!
Poor, poor Duke. I knew that gum addiction would get to him eventually.
I want a new comic immediately… It’s been like 12 days since the last one… Don’t turn into VGcats’ or fanboys’ 1 comic a month… sometimes 1 comic per two months or even longer! I’ll kills you.
What are you talking about? This strip went up three days ago. It says “05/31/2010” right on it.
I have no idea why people are saying I don’t update regularly enough all over the place, It says right on the front page “Updates Mondays” and new strips are posted every Sunday at midnight when the clock rolls over. Sometimes an hour or two early if my internet is being flaky and I’m worried it’s going to cut out and prevent me from posting on time.
I know I didn’t do a good job, but I was just teasing. XD
Nah, it’s nice to have something brighten up my Mondays. Something to look forward to. I call them Manly Mondays now.
MANDAYS.
hahahahahaha, I just did a bit of a spit-take with my can of Monster.
I did a spit take with my can of PURE TESTOSTERONE!
People are shotgunning testosterone now?
Sounds like fun.
I love the commander so much :)
He’s the perfect balance of obtrusive facial hair and manly logic
Keep up the good work, these always brighten up my Mondays
Lovin this comic so far. Im still waiting for an appearance from Serious Sam :P
Yeah, I won’t lie, I ship it now. Awesome comic, gotta love the Commander.
thanks Coelasquid.
<3
Ahahahaha I just reread it all from the begining again. XD I’m intrigued to see more of random-passerby-girl. And also now officially ship her and Jared.
Ahahah, she’s about a decade older than him :P
I’ve heard of worse age differences. Ones that have nothing to do with gold digging, even.
This is so amazing. Truly. Now, I know Volt’s going to have to show up at some point because he fits the buff, stoic type and he has METAL DEVIL HORNS, but I think Gaston deserves a cameo too.
I gotta say the Commander sounds like a pretty swell guy if he can take a punch from Sten and be okay with it.
That’s just because you didn’t see the Commander beat the crap out of him after that.
I want to see one where Snow from FFXIII is rejected because it would be bad publicity to make a stand on that game’s debate.
Or what about Bowser? He’s big, strong, unsuccessful in his line of work and has a deep-seated hatred of Italians.
Never played FFXIII so I don’t know about this debate business. I generally don’t pay a whoooole lot of attention to Final Fantasy games…
Don’t bother then. Those nuts feel religiously about which games are good and which are bad. Miscredit a game and BAM!!, instant flamewar.
So if lady is older than Commander – how old does this make Commander?
+ You’re awesome, even though Mondays are usually “Urgh, back to college” – they’re now “Hurrah, new strip!”
Wait wait…she’s older than Jared. Sorry I misread :x
Did anyone else read that in Duke’s voice…
Yknow. Just wonderin.
moar duke nukem plz?? ty
Oh god, that last panel made me smile so much. Awwh, poor Duke <3
Since no one has pointed this out yet.. in panel 5 it looks like the commander is flipping her off with his cigar. XD
Duke Nukem Forever is apparently back and seeing a release next year. Hearing the news reminded me of this comic.
yeah, I’d heard!
So does that mean that he’ll get down from the bridge now?
Still holding my breath until they say something more definite than “Next Year”. Hell I’ll take “Summer” or something.
But I suppose so. Just make sure to bust out the ice cream and a Blu Ray edition of They Live and he’ll be fine.
Now Gearbox SWEARS that Duke returns on June 14.
The Curse continues!
Haven’t seen Nukem in years since I watched some boys play the agme for hours when I was 7…what exactly is his issue in the comic?XD
I guess Duke heard that Oprah got cancelled? Did no-one tell him that she has her own network now? D:
Whats Duke’s deal???
I was talking about this very comic with a friend and we realized what was going on here. Remember, Commander Bad-Ass is a time-traveler. As of the date this was posted, it was actually happening roughly in our present.
We are seeing Duke react to his latest video game.
I’d probably jump, too.
And with this comic, I’m addicted. This is awesome.
Even if Duke’s not trying to overcompensate, knowing that the game you’re the protagonist of was so over-rated, over-hyper, and just plain bad, after waiting patiently for people to see your glory for fuck knows how long, would mess anyone up.
Hah. So I’m, what, six years late? Found this. Read all of em once already, now I’m back to leave comments.
Tbh this one just hurts my heart and relieves me at the same time, ‘cuz Commander ain’t letting shit happen to Duke if he’s right there, yeah? But, shit, suicide ain’t funny. That ‘you don’t understand’ thing is a legit concern that people have, and it is incredibly unpleasant.
That being said, I’m really glad Commander’s there, coaxing him down, and I hope he’s not taking it as lightly as I kinda feel like everyone here is ahaha
Love to see sth about some of these dudes getting actual psychiatric help.
Just so you know, Coela, I am struggling my way through DNF right now (and not because of the difficulty) and this is all I can imagine any time Duke opens his mouth. Thank you for making me laugh.