Fireworks, the natural enemy of velociraptors
July 4, 2016
6:05 pm
Happy 4th, make sure you keep an eye on your pets today!
Manly Guys Doing Manly Things
Updated Mondays or whenever I feel like it
Happy 4th, make sure you keep an eye on your pets today!
Oh no, he thought about time travel!
It only matters if you think about it while actively traveling. You can think about it while in sync all you like.
More important is not thinking about “how” it works.
It’s bad to think ABOUT time travel. He thought OF time travel but failed to think THROUGH the time travel, both of which would have been thoroughly helpful prepositions.
I love how you guys are all “TIME TRAVEL” when going to Canada will also solve the problem.
Yes, but Canada is filled with assholes.
Extremely polite assholes.
*Glares at you intensely*
Allot of Canadians are very nice people.
Great! Now someone needs to draw the “Allot of Canadians”. I’m guessing it’d look like a bunch of mounties taped together…
That’d be an Alot. Allot means “assign”, as in “Jared has exceeded his daily allotment of fat bird exposure”.
you win the internet. I now want a dictionary full of SAT words with MGDMT themed sentences.
I assumed he meant ‘Anywhere outside the US’
Yeah, me too!
Jared’s face says everything.
Jared found a new Fattest Pigeon.
I bet Jared plays the hell out of Cucco’s Fury mode in Hyrule Warriors.
This is the greatest day of Jared’s life.
I wonder if it is talking to him. Cooo…
I imagine Jared is someone who would have absolutely no problem understanding Coco from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. I don’t know why.
OMG when I saw it at first I didn’t pay attention and I thought he was wearing sunglasses!
Me too! XD
Me three…
Me four.
Five!
666
Even the Raptor is looking at him slightly concerned, LOL
The next week will be entirely about different people trying to take the raptor off of Jared’s arms, because he’s not letting that fat pigeon go.
This is the best comic, and makes me so very happy.
I was coming here to say literally the same thing. XD
Jared’s FACE. <3
people in my neighborhood have been setting off fireworks every night since june 30 and this is the problem my family’s been having with our dogs (we have sixteen! seven of them are nervous chihuahuas!!). but there are worse things than having to cuddle an armful of fluffy animals for a few nights :P
this might help. I’m watching someone’s dogs, and one of them is terrified of fireworks. Last time we watched them over the 4th of July, she freaked badly when the fireworks were going off, but now, with this wrap, she’s still nervous, but not nearly as panicked.
http://barkpost.com/diy-anxiety-wrap/
That configuration of scarf wrapping may explain why my friend’s chiweenie loves dressing up so much. She seems to enjoy her walking harness almost as much as the walk itself. I’ve also never seen a dogs eyes dilate at the sight of a “princess” costume, before her. For course the princess gown was one size too large and she ended up completely entangled by the end of the night.
Too bad Bose hasn’t devised a set of dog friendly noise canceling headphones. Assuming you could get a configuration dogs could stand, having a pair that cancels and softens some of those higher frequency bangs would be useful.
My mom used to turn on the classical music channel loud for the pets at our house.
Aww I want one!
They look so fluffy and huggable.
Chickens are pretty much just as good, get a hen (or dozen, depends on the size of your yard) and raise it from a chick, and you too can have an adorable pet fat bird.
Maybe it’s different if you actually raise a chicken as a pet, but I would just like to say that in general, chickens are little demon birds.
Pet chickens are extremely cuddly, my friend has this huge nearly two-foot-tall pet rooster who acts like a dog and just follows people around and cuddles up on their laps and lets you rub all his feathers backwards.
oh my god that is adorable thank you for sharing
The last meeting I had with a rooster was one that had gone crazy and I had to kill it with a baseball bat before it could hurt children or other animals. I totally felt like the cool brittish dude in Jurassic Park, but with a roar instead of a clever girl and I won that fight.
The Commander and Ace appreciate your complements.
I volunteer to hug and comfort a raptor.
Would a fluffiraptor try to eat the fattest pigeon or would they adopt one another as kin?
Fluffiraptors are honored ancestors to fattest pigeon.
Headcanon accepted. Head-cannon locked and loaded.
The one Commander’s holding looks particularly happy.
I just hope they don’t bite when they get spooked.
Jared is absolutely living the dream right now and I’m so jealous. I love Raptor Squad.
Omigosh Jared’s face! Mind blowing joy!
That raptor looks like it’s whispering dark secrets to Jared.
Looks like we’ve got a Nausicaä in the lower left there. Or two.
I like to think that Commander’s kids have better pet taming techniques than deliberately getting themselves bitten to first blood (seriously, that scene in Nausicaä bothers me every time!).
Jareds face oh my god.
I would love it Rock gets to have his very own raptor.
He has the technology…
Now I want a pet velociraptor more than ever. We need time machines pronto.
Scientists! You’ve already failed to make self-lacing shoes, hover-boards, and flying cars last year, so it’s time to make up for it by making a time machine!
Just in time for Skynet to use it!
A reminder to keep your pets safe and comfortable on this day of Things Exploding Loudly in the Sky! XD
I have never wanted to hug a velociraptor more than ever.
Jared ain’t giving that raptor back.
So velociraptors are basically bird-like dogs. Neat!
Yes, I had to comfort my dog during the fireworks.
Is there any animal that enjoys fireworks?
I hear a certain species of nearly-hairless monkey really loves fireworks!
I’ve heard that same species referred to as “ugly bags of mostly water” or “Hew-mons”.
I wonder if breed matters. I’ve never had a dog that was scared of fireworks, even though my next door neighbor will set them off until midnight. My new puppy, who I’ve had a week and runs from squirrels, was slightly nervous but not scared when the explosions started. But every dog I’ve had is a hunting or herding based mutt, and they tend to be both smart and stable compared to a lot of my friends dogs.
I’ve always had herding dogs, and they all FLIPPED OUT on Explosion Night. Same with our goats.
The current dog and herd barely acknowledge the fireworks. It’s weird. Being able to go participate instead of sitting with the critters all night is nice, though.
I was surprised to find that my cat was quite unbothered by the fireworks this year. I was looking for him under beds and in closets, while he was passed out belly-up and content in the middle of the kitchen.
My previous cat used to get up on the windowsill to watch the fireworks, and got really mad if I tried to shut her away…
I so need a large round raptor plushy with feathers. Though I guess my owl stuffies will have to do for now.
And just what is Commander doing about Canada Guy’s national holiday?
Scowling.
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
First, I just finished an archive binge and I love this comic. Second, I’d totally help hold those fluffy raptors. Third, I kinda imagine the Commander’s voice to sound like Brock Samson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfoaXuwIuT4). Dunno if that’s accurate or not.
If I remember correctly, Coela once commented that Commander’s voice is somewhere between Tom Waits and Beetlejuice.
Indeed. It’s actually said by the commander at the beginning of the Grakt fight scene.
Squid specifically said he doesn’t sound that way in her head. I had the same idea at first, but the “big guy voiced by Patrick Warburton” thing IS a little over-played.
Why not go to not-the-4th-of-July? Because then nobody would get to hug raptors, obviously.
Oh god this is so adorable I cannot wait until it is in color!
+fav
Junebug hugging the fluffy Raptor about 1,5 times her size is the most adorable thing ever!
jared soo wants one
Mine was not bothered by the fireworks. But if he sensed he was being watched he acted scared so that he would be held and comforted just because he likes to be held and spoiled.
You have a velociraptor? Jealous.
Only when you try to pick him up when it isn’t his idea. It’s that or a cuisinart.
You may not get the one you gave to Jared back Jet.
Sammy’s helping!
That’s precious c’:
Ohman ohman! If we ever get fluffy raptor plushies to buy, we could all reenact this scene!! :D :D :D I know I would have to buy five myself, at least!
+1 vote for FLUFFEH RAPTOR PLUSHIES, please!
11/10 would buy.
Ditto!!!!
And when you squeeze them their neck extend like in this scene: http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/jet-clearly-has-no-idea-what-gin-is !
Aw, he just wants his raptors to learn patriotism.
Even though I swore off of pets after my last two, I would still consider adopting a Coelasquid-style velociraptor if they were real.
It’s the Fourth, and we get bright, colorful, fatbudgie raptors!
Any comic featuring fluffball raptors gains my seal of approval.
Still the most awesome raptors ever!
Oh, I want one, tooooo!
Can’t wait to see the coloured version, it will be amazing (and probably a huge pain in the ass to do)
NEEDS MORE WOKWOK
Side order of Woo.
Oh…my lord. This is just the best. I can’t wait to see it in colour. :o
This remind me of my Smooth Fox Terrier.. she was small even for her breed and fearless.. until hearing fireworks, then she ran and tried to hide under or climbing over bed, sofa, even the table… miss her dearly. T_T
It’s the one next to his left ear that kills me in the second panel.
And Jared <3
Hypothetically, could Jared store a fluffraptor in a Pokéball?
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know how to use one of those.
Yeah, last time Jared was given a pokeball, he broke it. Bye bye shiny Gengar.
I love them so much
“I just want to grab them and squeeze them until there’s not a breath left in their tiny little bodies!” – Addams Family Values
This might not have been a good idea for one more reason… what if Mr. Fish sees Jared’s expression and gets jealous?
He could ask another time traveler with experience of raptors for advice: Kung Fury. Everything is better with more lasor raptors and Kung Fury.
Jared looks to have finally found his Fattest Pigeon. Or at least its distant ancestor. 8-)
We have a dog who’s the same way. Wedges herself in any dark corner she can squeeze inside when the fireworks start.
Oh god I thought Jet was Canadian Guy at first glance, god help me.
Given Pokemon Go’s release, I can now see Jared playing Pokemon Go, catching Magikarp on his lawn, naming it Mr. Fish… with Mr. Fish watching the whole time and Jared reassuring him that he’s still #1.
Then he finds a Gym run by one of his parents somehow and wins with Magikarp. Because he’s Jared and he can do that.
Commander’s looking pretty tan, there. If I ever go out in the sun, all I get is burnt and freckled.
Remember, high-SPF sunblock is your friend! :)
A while back the Commander described himself as “ambiguously brown,” so it’s not (all) suntan: http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/i-drew-this-in-two-and-a-half-hours
I figure he’s got that “racially ambiguous leading man” a la Vin Diesel or Dwayne Johnson thing going on.
oh man, jared is LOVING that raptor. i myself am glad to see them return, i adored them in the survival-dome arc
Fatbird Raptors ftw. I would give me left arm for a plushie Raptor.
Please please please make a raptor wallpaper…
To be perfectly fair to the raptors, I’m not huge on fireworks either…
So uh Professor Willow is either Professor Oak after an extreme lifestyle change or something. He’s got like, sport tights on, shorts with strings, and kind of tight fitting sporty t shirt. Professor even has a backpack with a yoga mat or a sleeping bag. Then just so we know he’s a Professor he wears a lab-coat. The lab coat probably some kind of reversible polyester, impervious to weather and acts the opposite of whatever weather is happening today.
Professor Willow is that guy who hikes mountains for 20 years and spent his time making and cooking up salads, meat, and trail mix. Also hikes to a beauty salon.
Damn, I scroll all the way down here to make a comment, then forget what I was going to say because there’s a cool picture of the Commander down here.
And I have to ask the question again…why is there no plush velociraptors based on this wonderfull design? Why o why this world is so cruel…
There is a hole in the fabric of my box-spring that one of my cats goes into when he is scared. I have a queen size bed too so once he gets in there, there’s no getting him out ’til he wants to come out. I was quite surprised that he didn’t go in there when the fireworks started as all 4 cats were watching them pretty inently (you could see the local show right from our front window) and the fraidy-cat kitty gets freaked out by the sound of tin foil…
There was no point to this anecdote aside from: kitties! Aren’t they just adorable? ( they’re no multi-colored velociraptors but I can’t time travel so what ha gonna do?)
Jared’s eyes are perfect in that final frame <3
JARED’S EYES
A bit off-topic, but not really, since it’s a raptor strip: new research suggests that dinosaurs actually cooed, just like Coelasquid said!
https://news.utexas.edu/2016/07/11/dinosaurs-may-have-cooed-like-doves