He probably laments all the cake he could have been eating now that all he can consume is nutrient slurry
March 19, 2018
4:16 am
I mean, he’s got worse problems, but it’s insult to injury.
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Nah, he has a point that is BS.
Total BS.
Damn, that’s a part of Tank’s issues I had not considered. Gotta keep on feeling for the guy
Couldn’t they just mold some synthetic flesh over those things? Just for the look of it? I mean, they’re supposed to LOOK good, aren’t they? Be nice and marketable…
The metal-bellied cyborg look is presumably the one they were going for.
They could go with the iron man or transformers style and mold that stuff in. or just build his flex points in such a way as to look toned. Now I just want Tank to go meet the cast of beast wars…
Very obviously they discarded the known two, considered Iron Transformer to just be a power outlet and created Transformer Man. Then they put in a budget cap because repairs would be expensive. Finally they just put the entire project on mothball status before finishing.
I was wondering about synthetic muscles the other day. I don’t need muscles for anything, but I like how some of them look.
Pretty inexpensively too. He needs a YouTube Coach to get him on the curiousity ball. For his body size, buy 3 tubes of Silicone 2 caucking (the type you use a caucking gun to squeeze out) also purchase Corn Starch and some red food coloring. Empty a portion of Silicone 2 Cauck into a container or onto a clean (or new) cutting board, add in corn starch and add in a few spoonfuls of water (I don’t know your end goal so I cannot advise correct ratios in regards to that goal) THINK MIXING PIZZA DOUGH. The water activates the Silicone 2 Cauck to begin hardening. If mixed well you should have a few minutes of working time to shape the silicone 2 dough into shapes and you will be creating your own silicone molds this way. You can find more detailed instructions on Youtube. After about 10 minutes if your ratios weren’t too wet or too powdery the silicone should harden into your desired shape. The food coloring is for color, better colors will give you better flesh tones if you’re imitating skin. Ideally if you are mimicking skin textures you want to mold a negative mold of your skin, then when hardened make a positive mold by lightly oiling the negative skin texture mold then adding in the molding silicone dough to make a positive skin texture stamp mold. The rest is just practice and finicky work to make it look good. For realistic flesh it also helps to have an “under texture” because flesh is translucent so it might be wise to create a false texture airbrushed layer, then coat with fleshy color silicone putty, texturizing then add hair. It gets easier the more you do it. For stretchy silicone, add a bit of powdered sugar to the cornstarch. When wet, the sugar dissolves leaving tiny gaps which allows stretchy options.
They could but that isn’t his point. He did a lot of work to get a perfect 6 pack which ended up getting cut out and replaces with cybernetics.
If he knew this was going to happen he probably wouldn’t have worked out so much and ate more cake.
Can he have them mold ab shapes into it? Or at least give it a sick paintjob? Could take the sting off the years of wasted work.
Good to see him doing well and hanging out with his family.
“Sick paintjob” Now I’m thinking of 300 with their airbrushed abs….
Yeah, Hollywood has been rather disappointing lately, since they got to the point of being little more than expert photoshoppers…
It’s not their fault teens have all the buying power, that’s on bad parenting.
I was thinking more of a cool flames decal but if what he wants is abs then he should spartan it up.
I think ‘e should Ares complaints to the proper authorities, before things go to Helen a hand-basket.
At least if someone decides to punch him in the gut they will break their hand and he’ll be able to smirk at them while going “Abs of titanium!”
Aluminum. Abs of aluminum. Doesn’t have the same kick to it, I know.
Yeah… also I realized that most would break their hand… but then Angel walks in and Tank grabs his abs protectively because he doesn’t want to fix all the holes he made in his abdomen the Last time.
She! She made in his abdomen.
The holes could be self-inflicted and a mark of pride in Tank’s eyes, so those holes he made in himself are ones he doesn’t want her to fix.
Yeah, aluminum isn’t really impressive as far as metals go. Heck, I can easily rip aluminum sheeting & so can you.
What?
Sure you can. I’d bet you’ve got rolls of aluminum sheeting in your kitchen right now…Go see for yourself. The box holding it is usually labeled “Aluminum Foil.”
P.S. Using that can usually get you a free drink or two if you use it as one of those “bar tricks.” Just put a small 4″x4″ square of it into your pocket, go to the bar & say, “I bet you the next drink that I can bare-handed rip sheet metal into pieces.”
:D
You are talking about a lightweight metal that is super durable. Aluminum foil is typically 0.016 mm thick. Titanium at that thickness isn’t too impressive either. And aluminum foil is annealed quite a bit intentionally for softness.
Remember, an aluminum bat can cave in a skull, despite weighing so little.
His robot parts aren’t actually made of aluminum, he’s dramatizing his frustration with them.
I’d be surprised if they were. Even Spacefuture military shouldn’t be stupid enough to make their soldiers out of, basically, cardboard.
Aluminum’s a lot stronger than people seem to think it is. Like, I know when you say “Aluminum” you immediately think “foil”, or “siding” or “Cans” or other bits that are easily bent and damaged, but those are sheets with thicknesses measured in thousandths of an inch; you would NOT be able to bend something made out of a 1/8th inch thick sheet of aluminum with your bare hands. If anything, assuming there’s no super-science involved to offset the weight of something like steel or titanium, aluminum would be a great choice for military-grade cybernetic implants because it’s so strong for its weight.
Former aviation worker here;
It’s not impossible, given that I’ve had to do exactly that to effect repairs, but the real trick is that you need to make things so that they follow actual engineering design principles, such as box beams, I-beams, and other forms of light weight, high single- or multi-axis structure design.
Though, I still wouldn’t want to see aluminium used as armor. Titanium…yeah, though that is susceptible to shear forces with deep-enough scratches.
But hey, if you want it to look cool while being combat-useful, then just do your internal work on the biomimetic principles of soft, comparatively squishy stuff that moves aside when taking penetrating hits, along with something akin to a bunch of say, floating articulation lames(overlapping strips/layers for you non-armorers out there) to a sort of self-sealing spall liner to keep the fragments from shedding your internal squishybits, and for structural? Meh, go double or triple redundant with some deflection-conducive pieces that misalign rather than shatter. Sure, it means cracking them open to realign everything, but it’s better than the poor guy being DX’d between nipple and lap for a lance.
Clearly, they’re made of some spacefuture alloy that’s organic enough to allow them to time travel.
(Yes I only thought of this today, in 2023.)
The day I can’t eat a steak is definitely the day my mood will go on a permanent downturn. I enjoy a good soup but solid entrees will always get chosen first.
Commander previously said that Tank can just eat “steak and Robocop nutrient goo.” At least you’ll still have that. However, all other foods would be lost.
http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/hes-probably-more-uniquely-prepared-to-take-care-of-a-fish-tank-than-anyone-he-knows
I want aluminium abs.
Robocop: “It could have been worse Tank.”
Goliath online. Wait… that’s not right… I’m supposed to be Edward… two of nine… still not right… following main programing… Main programing discovered. Loading Fire on Friendlys.
A good boozy milkshake can beat most any cake in terms of caloric deliciousness. If he really wanted to get fat, he’d be bringing his A-game to do his American forefathers proud.
Also, shouldn’t there be fancy space restaurants in the space future that cater to cyborg lifestyles? With robot maitre ds taking orders for pretentious sounding dishes that amount to different flavors of nutrient slurry like the cafe in Brazil, and the non-cyborgs in the place torn between curiosity, non-judgmentality and private gratitude that they don’t have to eat like that all the time. I get that feeling a lot when eating with friends who’re into raw food – it’s mostly food that isn’t food yet, as opposed to food that someone else has already eaten.
And Rock doesn’t care as long as he’s healthy and ate all his toast.
They could have at least chosen a more anatomical front plate. I mean, Ancient Roman/Green Cuirass tech. had the whole “armor + muscle shirt” thing down pat centuries ago – when you’ve got time travel, you’ve less than no excuse.
They just wanted the “machine” look because it look gritty.
I will forego the abs and eat the cake!
No I’m definitely with Tank on that one. Poor guy.
then again, if he had been a fat fuck, he probably wouldn’t have been selected for the job…
Then again again, he was genetically designed for the job, so being a fat sack of lard was literally never in his DNA.
I read finicky science diet and my first thought was pet food. I think it says something about how they treated Tank.
I still say get him a fallout style cyber dog, or a cyborg raptor from beast wars. Either that, or go the organic route with a ferret…
Nice to see Tank chilling with someone other than Rock. I think the only interactions we’ve ever seen between him and his other siblings was rage.
glad to see these two are getting along again. and by that mean they can just chill and shoot the shit without their history weighing them down
I will forego the abs and eat the cake!
Literal washboard abs.
Rodney Dangerfield sold aluminum siding before becoming a comic. Imagine him as your sales person.
He went into standup comedy because, as a salesman, he got no respect…
It is BS in that despite the fact it’s kinda a unique situation it could’ve happened to anyone in the program and it sucks to put in all that hard work just to have it rendered moot. That said while it is possible to ha happened with anyone in the program it is kind of atypical even there.
Can vouch for this. Aluminium siding for abs sucks.
I find it a little hard to believe that in the advanced technology space future, they can build people into awesome cyborgs, but they haven’t figured out how to let their cyborg bodies process things like cake.
I mean, when you eat cake, it gets broken down into nutrient slurry anyway. Even if he’s built to operate off a certain specific nutrient slurry, it shouldn’t be hard to design in the capacity to handle different nutrient sources as well.
It’s like… sure, you can design a car engine to only operate properly with a highly specific octane of fuel… but you can also design an engine that can operate off a wide selection of fuels. If you’re building a human cyborg soldier, and you want it to be able to keep working in all sorts of unexpected environments and scenarios like you encounter in warzones, obviously you design it to process a wide range of fuels as needed, rather than saddle it with a dependency on a single specific type of fuel that it may not always have access to, especially once supply lines get cut.
They probably can, but remember, everything they do goes on “rule of cool”. It’s COOLER if all the rage-cyborg can eat is nutrient goo and steak. So they probably replaced his digestive system with one that can only properly digest unprocessed meats and whatever that goo is. Because they’re dicks.
Tank nooooo :C
I was having the exact opposite frustration the other night. I do all my crunches and Russian twists, but I just cannot seem to get rid of the (much thinner than it used to be) spare tire around my midsection while keeping anything like a sane diet. I was thinking, “Man, I wish I could just cut out all this organic flab and replace it with overlapping plates of carbon fiber.”
That’s a totally legitimate complaint.
IKR????
IKR????
I keep wanting Tank to meet the 009 cyborgs, especially Albert and G Junior. He and Albert can bond over the non-human-looking upgrades, and Junior can be the mellow bro who can match his strength.
‘Science diet’. So pet food. I guess that makes sense. Probably tastes as bad too