Almost a true story
January 27, 2015
2:38 am
I recently got invited to join the first real D&D group I’ve ever been a part of and not knowing anything about D&D land I wanted to be a bison centaur. Our DM is a champion and made me a whole bisontaur race, and I immediately asked if I could be a rogue. He talked me out of it by convincing me that if I put the 18 I rolled for abilities on strength I would have 20 strength at level one so I split the difference and made a ranger (I figure they’re like warrior-rogues)
Jared would probably stick to his guns, though.
Discussion (266) ¬
You beautiful beautiful person.
Any chance you could share the sheets?
+1
+1 again.
Already, Riddick’s Rails are long gone. All aboard the Stealth Elephant train!
Someone inform the passengers: The Stealthephant is departing soon!
Aint no breaks on the Stealthephant Train.
So you’re saying there ain’t no getting offa this train we’re on?
*gets shot* Ow! Barret is a dick!
Hey now. He could always start with Skill Focus (Stealth) and be an eletaur with a +6 stealth!
Also nice seeing a comic involving Vin Diesel and D&D. ;)
Or he could paint his nails red to get a circumstance bonus to Stealth.
It’s really funny you say that, Coela’s dad used to ask how you hid an elephant in an apple tree as a bonus question on tests!
Clearly the answer is to put 15 more elephants in identical apple trees so nobody can find the correct one
Won’t that only work in strawberry fields?
Yes. That’s the circumstance where the bonus applies. Well, that and red apple orchards.
And jelly bean jars
That wouldn’t work anyway,-4 isn’t enough. Actual elephants get -8 to stealth
Actually, elephants are known for Moving silently.
That may work well for sneaking behind someone, but it does no good *visually* for Hiding in Shadows…
This pretty much summarizes dnd night at my place. Nobody cared about what worked, just about what was fun, and whatever rules lawyering could be involved to boot.
That’s sorta how I try and let everyone else play. I’m already a walking set of rulebooks (Just how I process information. I’m a voracious sponge for rulebooks), so I figure I’ll play the rules lawyering munchkin in order to free the rest of the group up to be what I call “D&D-Normal” Which is to say, some of the oddest bunch of ecclectically thrown-together concepts formed into a cohesive group I’ve ever seen.
For instance we had an Aasimar Paladin, an elven archer-ranger, a dwarven barbarian that thought he was a Jägerkin from Girl Genius, an aasiamr sorceress, and a succubus (who made the race into a monster class and took levels in bard because you had to have a class and the DM wasn’t letting an ECL7 play with a bunch of level 1’s). I wasn’t playing in that one, but I would have probably made a wizard in that one because of the campaign setting (It was Rise of the Runelords by Paizo), and because my usual reason for playing a divine caster was reasonably covered by a bard, ranger, and paladin.
In another game (same group of people) we had (from the same players in order) an Elven magus, a half-elf gunslinger, an Ifrit ninja (like aasimar, but fire elemental instead of good outsider), a Vishkanya inquisitor, and a Gnoll gunslinger. In this game I played a druid. It was a naval campaign, so the ability to muck with wood and some of the best weather control in the game was very attractive :-)
Basically I play support. I fill in the gaps in capabilities and let us get past encounters with more assurance. I don’t play what most people would consider “a character” (even though I am quite effectively roleplaying. My characters just aren’t extroverts in the center of attention. I play quieter characters on purpose.)
This is sort of how my group plays, except I, as the DM, attempt to set them solidly in the world. I prefer to write my own settings, so I spent a solid month figuring out what each player was going to play, and throwing ideas back and forth for each character’s backstory so I could write them into the world. I was also a lot more restrictive about what people could play, where everyone is human except one elf, who was in many ways an outsider. It quickly turned all kinds of weird, where all of the party except one were a bunch of evil characters realizing it is really hard to be evil when you have things important to you that you are trying to protect, and the other guy a paladin questioning his choices more and more as he became embroiled in a romance with a fallen angel turned succubus. Oh, and one of the characters was carrying the soul of the deceased demon god around in his head for a while until he resurrected him, at which point said deity started having fun teasing a certain paladin who gave up his powers. And somewhere along the line it went from a campaign about everyone trying to secretly bring their evil machinations to fruition to a lich, a deceptive sorcerer, a demon cultist, a trans-human rogue, a fallen paladin and a succubus, begrudgingly working for a fickle demon god are the last stand against the tides of evil. Slowly they have been assembling a motley army of disillusioned angels, reclusive dragons, elven rebels, demon worshiping orcs, and and the last bastion of free humans led by a merchant-turned-freedom-fighter, as they fight against a traitorous demon council, an ancient lich with power to rival the gods themselves, overzealous angels, and a group of devils who have been working behind the scenes to manipulate everything towards their own end.
It rather chaotic, and at times rather absurd, but quite a bit of fun. Now, if only any of us could meet on a regular schedule, as that campaign has stretched out to nearly four years running with sessions being often several months apart.
That is awesome.
Like “OOTS”-level awesome.
Seriously, you guys should keep transcripts of those sessions, whenever you can make them happen, and then play them back whenever you’re in need of a laugh.
That’s so ridiculous that it’s not only believable, it’s actually impressive.
I concur wholeheartedly, that sounds like what would happen if you took Dragonlance and OOTS, and then inverted the characters. That would actually make some pretty good fanfiction or original story actually. Hrrrrrmmmmm (scribles)
Do the players mess with your world or get sidetracked often?
I was thinking more SilverClawShift in response to this one. Wow. Definitely ought to post that.
I really want the full story now… and not just this summed up version.
I just remembered one character I made. It was a legendary character with a legendary skill set and a legendary name. He died at the young and tender age of lv 6 but the deeds he did in his paper-based life were truely…legendary.
We were playing a special ‘gestalt’ game where you take 2 classes, take the best of both, ie, saving throws, BAB, HP, etc, and roll them into one class. We were also allowed to use any d20 source material. I went with the standard Barbarian, mixed it with the martial artist from the Beyond Monks book, and viola, Sandy Ravage was born.
I angered a mature black dragon, which actually made my DM spit hot coffee over his map, and proceeded to clothesline it and knock it prone, kick it a few times, then finish it off with a reverse DDT. When you make a DM facepalm 7 times in one encounter, that wasn’t supposed to even be a fight, you win at everything forever.
Mind you, poor Sandy was down to 2 hit points after taking the dragon’s full attack.
“a dwarven barbarian that thought he was a Jägerkin from Girl Genius”
Heh! I’ll bet all his plans revolved around the idea that no one would lose their hats.
“…a succubus…and took levels in bard”
Good singing voice or not, she probably drew record-breaking crowds to her performances. ;)
“a druid…the ability to muck with wood and some of the best weather control”
Heh! I can see it now: Ship is being buffeted by the Mother of all Storms & even your own weather abilites can’t make a dent in the severity of the storm.
You (Druid): “Captain, she canna take the strain much longer! She gunna break up!”
Capt: “How do you know that?”
You (Druid, using a Scottish accent, of course): “The hull planks told me!”
You know what you should do next time you make a character, TomeWyrm? Make him complain. Not, like, objecting to things, but just have him be like Marvin from Hitchhiker’s guide. “Oh, alright. I wish you didn’t keep getting swords stuck through your guts- do you know how disgusting it is to lay hands on there?” or when you cast Featherfall, “You know what would be great? If you people didn’t always go leaping off perfectly good cliffs all the time!”
Just… grumbling. Maybe a dwarf would be a good race for that.
I always try to make succubuses into followers of my church when i play cleric, which is the BEST class for a succubus… that atwill suggestion is great when it comes to converting people to my religion…
Same boat. I always make a character so far away as possible from whats the most logical choice. Ogre Mage, Vampire Elf Barbarian, Gnome Blackguard, Dwarf Assassin etc.
I imagine it’s no accident that Riddick is portrayed, given that Vin Diesel is a DnD nerd? :)
Not at all.
Oh my God, that is so AWESOME!
Quite a few of the action film guys are super-nerds…I still find it hilarious that Dolph Lundgren was a straight-A student and has a Masters Degree in Chemical Engineering… … …yet he played the Live-Action He-Man.
More importantly, do Vin Diesel, Riddick, Xander Cage et. al. coexist in this universe (and if they do, can we please have a comic that puts more than one of them in the same room?)
They seem to be playing Pathfinder if the skill system is any indication.
Oh, absolutely. And the -4 is a size-based penalty.
Isn’t Pathfinder basically D&D 3.5 with the serial numbers filed off and more extension sourcebooks than you can shake a Beholder at?
Sort of. It’s an update of 3.5 (and a better one than 4th edition, imo). It balances some things that were unbalanced and streamlines some stuff that didn’t make sense. It opens up some different issues, but all in all it’s a solid game. Plus it’s all open source which means everything’s available online, so even though there’s a bunch of sourcebooks, you don’t have to track down some obscure pamphlet to find a specific rule or item; you can just search the srd. Plus, it introduced some interesting classes and races, and I personally think the standard setting is cool (it involves wooly mammoths coexisting with a mummy lich and what is essentially revolutionary France).
I’m running three Pathfinder games at the moment, I love it! :D
Only problem with Pathfinder is that all of the really exploitable things that were in 3.5 are still really exploitable in Pf. D&D Next is the true “more balanced 3.5” that I think a lot of gamers were looking for.
I’d argue that Next is more of a hybrid between 2E/AD&D and 3.5e – it uses the basic structure of 3e, but goes rules-lite and puts balance back directly into the hands of the DM.
Pathfinder is, as noted, D&D 3.75 in all but name. It’s hardly perfect, but overall it fixed more broken things than it broke things that were fine.
Also, in Pathfinder you can play a gnome gunslinger.
Munchkinism at its finest.
This is especially funny when you realise that Vin Diesel is a big D&D nerd and this has a big chance of happening when you play a game with him.
…I believe Helen Mirren is also a D&D nerd. Can we get a Helen Mirren character for the next round?
Well Judi Dench and Karl Urban are, so they did play DnD on the set of Riddick
Oh god, I would LOVE to listen in on that! D:
“The invaders are all wearing +5 Necrotic Full Plate. To your Magesight, they menace with strong auras of Necromancy.”
“No, you can’t just use the 3-headed axe. It’s an Exotic weapon, you need a feat for that.”
“You stab the enemy General in the back, but your well-aimed sneak attack seems to have no effect. Roll Knowledge. You know that constructs and undead don’t suffer from Sneak Attack effects.”
“The vizier straps you to a strange table, and out of the walls come dessicated female corpses covered in a gauzy cloth-like substance. Behind them are pools of a strange grey metallic liquid. The corpses gasp as one and rise up, intoning prophecy about the conquering armies victory.”
Wow, this weekend my group of friends did character building for our first real D&D based thing (previously we had been doing more custom built chaos stuff) and this is pretty close to the kinds of stuff we had going on too.
The best part is that nobody can talk about the elephant in the room, because they can’t see him.
Jolson, that comment is a work of art. I am impressed.
No! The other way around.
It’s how his stealth works: Everyone can see him, but nobody wants to talk about the elephant in the room!
I once had a character who worked like that: a Medusa Ninja. She wasn’t invisible, everybody just wished she was.
The fact that this comic wasn’t TITLED The Elephant in the Room is a travesty.
…Wow.
For what it’s worth, cancelling out the racial penalties would only make you as good at stealth as the average non-rogue human, and significantly worse than one who put a minimum amount of effort into it. On the other hand, Elephantaur rogue sounds awesome and I don’t want to be the one to tell him to reconsider his life choices.
I dunno he’s probably doing better than all the paladins and barbarians who put the lowest numbers they rolled into dexterity and intelligence. Which is probably most of this group.
Yep. Taking into account his Dexterity, he’s still better than the average human (the “average” human is explicitly defined as Commoner 1 with stats of 10/10/10/11/11/11), having a total Stealth bonus of +3. He’s slightly worse than, say, a Fighter with decent Dex and a rank in Stealth, but he’s certainly better than the “average person”.
But his size penalties to hide and move silently are going to bite him in the butt.
But those crit rolls when they work… so worth it.
Will he try to steal someones pants after a long chain of successful pickpocketing?
Have the wizard cast invisibility and silence game over
That’s assuming he’s Large, and we can’t make that assumption.
Now all the DM needs is to use some critter that has a big enough mouth to bite a butt that big…
Not to mention that there’s an entirely different way of being a rogue. The way of the greataxe. With size large and Cleave, he can flank two things with two allies, and get sneak attack on both, roll d12+whateverd6+STR. Add in Throwing Enchant and Ring of Invisibility and things get real crazy.
Yup. Playing a combat-oriented rogue (aka swashbuckler/duelist) is still a very legitimate choice that an elephant centaur would rock. Of course, it’s not as funny as a elephant burglar.
To quote Maximum Facepuncher: “They can’t see me if they’re unconscious!”
I do still agree that it’s funnier to have an Elephant Burglar.
Heh, love this. Recently started a weekly DnD session (4.0) with three friends. We vary constantly between productive, and making the DM facepalm.
The runepriest (4.0 class, sort of a specialized cleric) in our party actively outheals the cleric, and outdamages the barbarian.
Any session where the DM faceplants at least once is a good one :P
Our 12-strength thief regularly ripped open doors the barbarian couldn’t.
The archer would fire his multiple arrows and crit-crit-critfumble-critfumble with astonishing regularity.
The barbarian (my gf) hated stealth and planning and would announce, “MIGRAX ATTACKS!” so she could charge in, kill as many of the monsters (skittles) as possible and eat the dead. The others facepalmed. I (the DM), giggled.
What, none of you have ever rolled a stealthefant before?
My favorite is the Ninja Class – Colossal Hydra, that a friend and I built. Imagine a colossal hydra running towards you and suddenly uses vanish (Like invisibility but it’s a spell like ability that can be used up to 3/day at lvl 1). We started to try and see what other monsters could be silly with this, and the results were….hillariously scary. XD
I love this :3c
I hope there’s more of this, Coelasquid :>
I love Jared. He reminds me of this:
http://lolbot.net/pix/21015.png
Which, in turn, reminds me of Chicken Boo. And everyone knows Chicken Boo is the best damn chicken ever.
Damn, it’s been a long time since I laughed this much.
Thank you, I found that hilarious. So much so that I had a hard time breathing or to stop laughing. I even got my family to yell at me to shut up from laughing so much :)
I really have to wonder at the logic here. Was it just a case of “I want to play this, oooh rogue looks interesting” with no actual connection? Admittedly I like a mismatched character as much as the next, I’m currently running a half-demon agent of the church who’s sister is half-angel paladin played by another player.
Are you both half-scions of Caydan Cailien or something? That is the only father figure I can see scoring with a demon AND an angel in a relatively short timeframe. He is the lucky drunk, after all.
Actually it was the mother (a bard) who got around. I think it was decided she made a bet with my character’s father, who was a devil focused on Lust. The deal included some form of extended lifespan since she’s still around (assimir and tieflings become adults at age 60) and it has been decided that we’ve likely got a sibling of most of the half-races.
I too have gone the half-demon church agent route… in my case, half-succubus nun (cleric). Her twin brother was the pornomancer bard. Best game.
“pornomancer bard” could you please explain this to me as I have no clue what that would be
I just recently built a Succubus Paladin (LG). The Helm of Opposite Alignment is a hilarious cursed item.
Actually, elephants are incredibly stealthful for their size, on account of their large padded feet, they hardly make any noise when moving through the savannah.
Also, they have a racial bonus to Listening and Low-Light Vision to boot!
Rogue class isn’t that far-fetched at all ^^
Have you ever seen an elephant in your yard? Exactly.
If you live near a jungle at Way kambas, Sumatra island (Indonesia), you’ll see rhinos & tigers too! ^_^
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Way_Kambas_National_Park
No I haven’t. That is how I know there stealthy :)
Reminds me of my half giant half troll. Part rouge until hide in plain sight perk then all out barbarian. Killed a chain golem bare handed. Only to receive the core of super rare metal which became his weapon. He helped kill a dragon. Then skinned it to make carpeting and wallpaper for his cave.
Please draw a comic from the perspective of the characters’ characters! I totally want to see sneaky!elephantman. XD
Yes please!
that would be amusing :)
Welp you just talked me out of being a DM, ever :D
Yeah I am currently starting up a group and am the only one who knows shit about the rules. basically everytime someone asks a question there is a good chance I facepalm then drag out one of my books flip to the right page by memory and explain needless to say character creation will be an absolute Bitch
update: two characters into character creation two ends of the scale the super easy knows what he wants even with only cursory glance at the rules and someone who has no clue what to do because they are mired in VG RPG rules and stereotypes
I have done things like this in table top games. I am more interested in making jokes than actually playing the game usually.
Imma leave this here for you http://imgur.com/gallery/FqL9Kz0
*glares at Gray Phantom* …he beat me to it
Who’s got two thumbs and ninja’d your brain? This guy B-)
d-(^_^)-b
To be fair, you don’t *have* to have good dex/stealth to be effective as a rogue, only if you want to be a sneaky rogue. You can build a fairly effective str-based rogue if you want to be a rogue who isn’t that sneaky but can walk up to someone and shank them for ridiculous amounts of sneak attack damage. This is especially true in 5th Edition, where one of the rogue subclasses is basically specifically tailored to this build.
Reminds me of this little game: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/649113
3.5th edition, in Savage Species, actually had quick and through rules for creating an anything-taur. ANYTHING.
Including adding Tauric to a centaur I believe.
The roleplaying would be so much fun.
“Okay, look guys. There’s only so much that can be blamed on coincidence. We’ve really got to discuss the elephant in the room!”
*elephant centaur rogue eavesdropping by hanging upside-down from the ceiling*
“…You don’t have to, you know. You could just continue to ignore me.”
It’s beautiful how Jared this is.
Yes. Yes it is.
Gnome barbarian is best barbarian.
Although my current cookie-cutter humer pyromaniac sorcerer seems to be doing fine. If you can’t swag it with your insanely high charisma score, you can always burn it.
Down the charisma path lies EEEEEEVVVVVVILLLLLL
The Lawful Monk in my party hates my Chaotic Sorcerer…
The Paladin is my IC best bud though. Last night we got the monk drunk and a few halflings tied him up sideways against the caravan cart after he puked all over himself. Glorious.
Reminds me of a game session I was in.
We were setting up a Palladium session, and decided to run as a group of humanoid mutant rhinos. We got to the backstory for the mutation, and it ended up that we were trained in ninjutsu. I, being the one who decided to do a Ninja Rhino as a rogue, picked Disguise, Impersonate, and a few other generic skills (including Pilot for cars, motorcycles, and trucks). So, even though I’m a mutant rhino, I can now pass for anyone unless under close scrutiny.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Rhino’s, hero’s with a giant horn. RHINO POWER.
teenage mutant ninja rhino’s. seriously that is all I could think while reading this
My friends and I are playing the Tirr campaign, so I’m playing an angel cleric, and I decided to put a 19 roll towards strength. We’ve decided he often rips his robes.
I really, really didn’t expect Coelasquid to come in and say “The truth is, this time, I was the Jared. For reals.”.
I think, at some point or another, we’re all the Jared.
I always throw all my eggs into the “courtesan” basket. Oh, I’m a chaotic neutral half elf fighting the undead? I roll to seduce and give that rigormortis a real reason to be stiff
http://www.fabulouslybroke.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/elephant-ninja-funny.jpg
I’ll just leave this here…
That gets my vote. Nice one.
Eli…
I tend to be more of a fan of Dungeon World (or, in extention, Inverse World) since playbooks tend to be easier to just pick up and run with and gameplay is 99% mutual storytelling, but the beginning stats is a universal tabletop pleasure.
Kinda makes me want to play another game, actually. Last time I just played some rich dude who’s NPC follower did 90% of the actual tasks while he was busy getting his leg chopped off and failing every roll to epic proportions. I’ve never had more fun messing up, but it would have been twice as awesome and terrible if Rich Pompous Asshole was also Rich Pompous DRAGON Asshole.
Major kudos for Riddick as DM that’s super clever.
Man, I was hoping the story was how you played D&D with Vin Diesel. :) Close enough tho
Hello, the DM here. I honestly thought the idea of being a rogue was a joke. There’s usually a period in character creation where the players think of all the wackiest character concepts they can before finally settling on something they actually want to play.
Oh hey. :D Don’t suppose you’d post the bisontaur template for us?
So he is the elephant of surprise then, yes?
In a past pathfinder game, our Druid turned into an Elephant. Then cast Cape of Wasps. Then was turned invisible by our Wizard.
End result: Invisible elephant with a 20 foot fly speed, only announced by the sound of furious buzzing.
You think we can get more DnD?
I have no idea what’s going on, but it sounds hilarious!
Basically, everything going on around here is based on Advanced Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game. As for myself, I’m more of an “old-school” type nerd: After the Boxed Set rules & the First Edition of the game got too expensive for me, I stopped; heck, I even still have the 1st Printing of Deities & Demigods, before the bible-thumping interlopers made TSR edit out a whole bunch of fun stuff from it.
Since then, I’ve found that GURPS (Generic Universal Roleplaying Game) by Steve Jackson Games really lives up to its name. Everything that people have been talking about can be duplicated for Player Characters in the GURPS system & can even fit in pretty much any kind of genre setting…They got rules for creating non-human characters of every shape & size, including hybrids like the Elephantaur.
All of these character types would easily fit into a campaign set at IOU University…All at the same time.
:D
Reminds me of my friend David. Played a gargoyle rogue who focused on using 2 handed hammers, the entire time he gave him a deep Russian accent.
I once played a living table. I explained it with the logic that my tree came from an enchanted forest, and I gained mobility when a wizard threw up on me. I basically just slammed into my enemies, being incapable of wielding anything.
I am reminded of a time my brother and I were futzing about with stacking racial templates in 3.5 and came up with the concept of a stone giant/weretiger rogue. I think the stealth elephant is better, though.
This is basically my friend’s boyfriend.
I was once forced to play a Dwarven rogue. I had promised that I would be someone’s brother, and I was also the only one who wanted to be a rogue (and it was a dungeon crawl, so we needed one). However, that someone wanted to be a Dwarven fighter, and I couldn’t justify an Elf or at least a Human being brothers with a Dwarf.
On the bright side, Dwarves get a racial bonus on finding anything related to stone, and it was a dungeon, so I was exceptional at finding traps.
Hey, we have a Half-Orc brothers with a Gnome. He’s adopted. Used to walking with a stoop.
Corporal Carrot of the Ankh-Morpork Watch is incredibly disappointed in you.
Captain* Carrot is just a six foot six dwarf though.
I once played a Dwarf who had a Goliath (another player) as his brother. The Goliath insisted to everybody that asked that he was a dwarf. His mom was a dwarf. His dad was a dwarf. His brother’s a dwarf. And he’s a dwarf.
I love dealing with players like this. As long as they’re willing to play it by the numbers, IDGAF. The other half of the fun is watching DMs with less patience/experience come as close as humanly possible to having an aneurysm without physically exploding.
yep my own personal psionic abilities are starting to emerge from DMing, I can cause others around me to get a headache. and we haven’t even started playing yet
I’m just envisioning what an Elephantaur Sneak Attack would look like…
Something involving the trunk and a sling shot.
Nice touch, considering that Vin Diesel himself said that Riddick is a DnD play… hmm… Riddick Half Orc(?) and wikipedia align him to Chaotic Evil, although sometimes goes Chaotic Good.
We need more Riddick. Preety Plz.
Dual-class rogue/barbarian bisontaur.
Three things.
1). This is made of awesome.
2a). My favorite AD&D character was the guy that I was going to make a paladin, except that I rolled a Wisdom of… 5. So I turned him into a bard with a AD&D special class that allowed him to have a squire, which I then convinced my then-girlfriend-now-wife/DM to make into a paladin.
2b). The paladin NPC eventually ended up being made party leader, because we were all so bad at it. So, so bad at it.
3). …What’s the Commander playing?
Once I played an elf barbarian. She was awesome.
Bwahahahaaah!
Is every RPG round on this planet full of this ?
Back in my RPG times, we also had a band of merry misfits with the most feeble-minded character abilities :
– Lawful good thief who just can “steal” things off another thief to hand it back to the original owner
– Undead paladin who found himself being an abdomination of nature but could not off himself because his god forbid him to do so
– Dwarfen mason with claustrophobia
– High cleric with a serious tourette-syndrome when holdig a sermon
– Many warriors being haemophiliacs, pacifists or simply physically unfit to lift a sword
That sounds so funny, but how well did they all do?
Were you playing in the Discworld by any chance?
Is this the first with Riddick…? And yea, of course he’s a gamer ^^
Hey, is the guy they’re playing with Riddick, or Vin Diesel dressed as Riddick?
By the rules Manly Guys seems to follow, I think it’s Riddick. Though no doubt with some Diesel influence.
You’d think Eletaur’s would be great at stealth though. I mean doesn’t everyone try their best to ignore the “Elephant in the room?”
No lie, this is astonishingly similar to a game I was a part of a few years back. Everyone had to pick an animal template for the goofy anthropomorphic setting, and one of the resulting characters was a whale-monk, (with something of a luchadore flavor) . Through a combination of excellent rolls, clever playing, and good equipment, that goddamn whale ended up with with the highest stealth on the entire team. He once managed to roll critical on a hide check with something like 40+ for the final result, so we ended up with a nine-foot whale man completely hidden from view. In the desert.
You should try RPG with more focus on “role playing” and less on math and rules… Try “Altar and Archetypes”.
I’m reminded of a great old webcomic:
Every race has folks who steal stuff. Anyone can be a rogue.
OK. Didn’t quite get that to work. Comic is called Fight Cast or Evade. Link to the first elephant: http://fightcastorevade.comicgenesis.com/d/20000817.html
Some of the things you can do in D&D 3.5 is kinda ridiculous. Met a guy who did the Chicken Boo thing from animaniacs. He made a sentient bear, and put everythign into disguise. The one time it failed was at a party, and the person was thrown out for insulting his character.
Might you be referring to this story two people posted? http://imgur.com/gallery/FqL9Kz0
That may be… My brain is so filled with random bits of stuff it’s hard to track sources.
I miss playing D&D.
It’s not as far-fetched as it might seem: no one wants to notice the elephantaur in the room.
I remember suggesting having Vin Diesel or Riddick come play D&D with them on one of the older strips.
I’m surprised he’s not relieved that SOMEONE http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/its-what-vin-would-have-done
at least wants to be something that isn’t a barbarian or a fighter.
Heeeey, being a blood fruit is my thing, get your own thing >.> But no, good point good point.
Apparently, someone on that comic page didn’t realize that a mage without a tongue can still use the Vocalize spell…
;)
This is my group. Nobody cares what’s optimized, they just go for crazy fun things, and it’s awesome.
…Also one time they got sneaked up on by a Stone Giant riding a Mammoth. They were all flabbergasted at the fact that their perception checks had been beaten by such a large pair of foes.
I see that they are playing Pathfinder.
Pretty sure I’ve had this exact conversation, except it was centaur ninja. There is no stealth penalty for clippy-cloppy, just for size. The DM wouldn’t allow it because there was no way I could climb using a grappling hook, but he DID allow a unicorn barbarian. Charge is nasty with a horn.
My housemates want me to try dnd with them sometime, and I think that I’ll be terrible at it, but it does sound like fun. My friend decided to be a cleric once he realised that he could worship Cthulhu.
Heh! The Cthulhu Mythos was one of the sections in the 1st edition rules that the bible-thumpers forced TSR to edit out of the Deities & Demigods book.
I still got that….Yeeeessssss! It’s my Precioussss!
Nice! I just started playing D&D for the first time in my many long years of nerdery and started out as a Tiefling (basically half-human, half-fiend) Paladin. maybe it’s an instinct for new players to go for a contrary build.
We have a half-orc Paladin on our team and he’s one of my favourite characters.
Is it me, or does Jared look strangely mature in the second to last panel? Like, I can’t even tell he’s a goofball with a giant sea dragon thing who likes fat pigeons…
Reminds me of how once a DM of mine, in an effort to shake up the group’s usual trend of vanilla race/class choices decreed that in a new game the characters would only be comprised of “Unlikely class/race” combos; i.e., you were not allowed to pick a race that offered the best possible stat adjustments for the class.
I took that as a challenge and made a Minotaur Scout.
Ability scores aren’t the only bonuses you can exploit! Muwahahah!
so move speed by level 20 of around 120 nice
HA GOES TO SHOW YOU SHOULD HAVE STUCK WITH YOUR GUNS!!!
I have a Minitaur rogue set up, and I cannot wait to play him. He has a decent charisma and a lot of points into bluff intimidate diplomacy and only a -1 modifier to hide thanks to skill focus. Muwahahaahaahhaha you can say he is full of Bull well you know. Yes he is not dex based, I made him a strength based rogue relying on his strength for combat, and hiding.
One of my friend’s characters in his tabletop RPG is a were-octopus and to this day I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard as I did when I first heard the word “were-octopus”.
Wereshark man.
You fight. You bite. You stand up for all that’s right. It’s the kind of stupid I’m sad the GM might have decided to retroactively not hit me with the one time it came up (thanks to a Shark Week inspired sidequest).
Riddick is such a thoughful GM
An elephantaur would have a human torso instead of a head, right? So no tusks, trunk or even the ears to regulate their temperature. This must be the first centaur character with less utility than the bottom half creature has on its own. I’m with the Commander.
Can’t be any worse than the Ogre ninja they put in the recent hearthstone expansion.
http://www.hearthpwn.com/cards/12235-ogre-ninja
I’m going to make my friends get into D&D now. I know of at least one who’d go for it, and make a decent DM I think.
Is it bad i want the write up for both the elephant taur and the bison taur
The stats or the personality?
All of the above. :D I’d like to hear what your GM came up with.
Yes.
This makes me miss my GM so much. D;
I’m forcing him to sit down and play as soon as he comes back. I miss being a dragon/drow mage. xD
My best characters (from the old days of the wildly out-dated 1st Edition) were a Half-Elven Fighter/Mage (specializing mostly in combat-magic) & an Elven Mage Assassin (you’d be surprised how effective of an Assassin that might be).
Ah, I really miss those halcyon days…
As a game designer, this comic hit so close to home with gamer mentality that I winced before I laughed. Keep up the great work. :)
First, hilarious to read and imagine :)
Second, me and my friends have concidered starting some sort of D&D group but to be honest nobody off us is catching on on how it works. Anyone with some good hints or a good site to help me out on that front?
Pathfinder SRD (system reference document), AKA the rulebooks but harder to make sense of. It’s handy, and Pathfinder is mostly held in good regard. (It’s also known as “3.75”, as it’s seen as a successor to D&D 3.5.)
Roll20 is a virtual tabletop with a group finder system, among other things. If you’re meeting in person, it may not be of much use to you.
Also, although Pathfinder rules are free online, D&D rulebooks aren’t. (PF isn’t actually D&D, it’s just very close.)
Hmm… Beyond that, I’d suggest finding local gaming stores and talking to them. Without knowing where you are, I can’t be of much help there. Alternately, we can swap email addresses or something if you want me (or whoever else here who has free time) to start going through the rules with you.
Oh, DriveThruStuff is an awesome place to buy rulebooks. How could I forget to mention them?
Oh, and about Pathfinder being 3.75, look further up in the comments. There’s a discussion about it that I just found (yay for reading comments backwards.)
Thx for the info, will look in to it, I really appreciate it :).
They sell Starter Packs, low-level adventures with simplified rules and all the figures and dice needed to get you started.
Caveat: D&D’s rules and settings have been revised a lot over the years. 3rd Edition is not the same as 4th edition, which is not the same as 5th edition. To summarise, 3rd Ed. was so abusable it was revised into 3.5 (you want to be relevant as a fighter? Too bad); 4th Ed. tried to be like an MMO (where I came in); 5th Ed. is by all accounts a fairly successful fusing of its roots with more modern developments.
Here’s the secret, though: YOU DON’T NEED ANY OF IT. None. Come up with your own system where you write your own character, you suggest actions and the DM just rolls one die to see if you succeed. It needs a fair person, but that’s how it was done at the very start. I have done this for my players and they said they loved the freedom.
History: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Dungeons_and_Dragons
This is so topical to my life right now (I too just recently joined a DnD group).
I’ve just started my first game too, what race did you start out as?
Playing D&D with Vin Diesel…
This is one of the best things ever! We must share it with the internet!
Elephants (especially Asian Elephants) are more than capable to sneak up on people. Despite weighing literal tons, they have soft pads that cushion their approach.
Stealth Weremammoths are a thing in Dwarf Fortress and hilarious. I love the guy posting the snapshot from the combat report and then edits to add “I don’t know where it is now”…
Yes ranger can be that they can also act as healers, mages(badly) and ighters as you mentioned. Jack-of-all-tradesclss, BT done right can be fun. My personal favourite one was from 3.5 DnD a ranger specialising in archery and had skiull to fight horse back, I just rode around putting arrows in stuff like a Mongol.
…I wanna see some campaign. 0.0 Seriously. The idea of a eletaur jumping around like a ninja KO’ing everyone with his girth is just..I need to see it.
Heh, I’m sort of in the same boat. First time DnDer, rolled a Half-Elf Paladin and got lucky with my rolls on the stats. As in I’ve got the highest average stats out of everybody and I speak a billion languages almost +19 base persuasion.
By the end of the first session, I’m the only reason my team hasn’t been arrested, embarrassingly killed by goblins because the clerc was late to the session and I was the only one with a healing power, and the only saving grace to their dignity after the dragon bard *and* the dwarf wizard failed to gapple hold onto a goblin with only 1hp. Said Goblin is now the dancing monkey type companion to the bard, only because I couldn’t kill it and thus have lost the ability to interrogate it. Because I’m also the only guy who speaks Goblin.
ah, 3.5. Should have stuck to your guns. You could have been like the famed wereboar assassin Oinkbane the Deadly. “YOU WILL NOW SUFFER MY SNEAK ATTAAAAAAAAACK!”
Ho hum.
How big an elephan-taur? If it were only the size of dachshund it could be very stealthy.
I imagine that he would just ignore stealth all together and mainly use other skills and Sneak Attack. In fact halfway into typing this I just thought of the HM moves in Pokémon Cut (Disable Device), Surf (Swim), Fly (Fly though this just for aerial maneuvers), and Flash (Feint).
My favorite crazy DnD story I’ve read: http://i.imgur.com/I69beX1.jpg
I’ve been wanting to wrestle a dragon for days now! THIS ONLY ENHANCES THAT DESIRE!
Of course, you could always play a werewolf warforged so that at some point down the line you could have a conversation along the lines of:
“What–wait, why are you barking at your Iron Defender?”
“I’m having a polite conversation in dog tongue with him, obviously! A conversation YOU just interrupted! Oh. My. Goddess. RUDE much??”
Plus, the very term ‘translycanthropism’ is too amazing to resist, it compels me.
a
Not that I’ve actually ever done anything like this, of course. Because that would just be silly.
I kind of wanted to ask if I could be a warforged bisontaur because I thought it would be super cool, like a dude built into Goht from Majora’s Mask, but I figured Bisontaur was probably pushing it.
Well their group did need a rogue.
Funny enough, elephants should actually get some natural stealth. In their home habitats, they’re notoriously stealthy in the woods.
There are parts of India where the elephants have learned how to sneak up on peoples homes, actually knocked on the doors at night, and when someone answers they grab them and toss them into their yards. It’s caused more than one death of an elephant.
Also, welcome to the world of tabletop, Squiddo. If you ever want to dip your toes into sum urban fantasy setting ala World of Darkness (it’s a different system than the D&Ds. Or rather, two different systems now.) I could probably make the process easier to digest.
I can hear it now, only one npc see the elephant rogue and says “Can we talk about the elephant in the room over there?”
This reminds me of how I play dragon age (mostly the first one). I like to play as “warrior-ey” as possible, without picking the warrior class when I make the character.
Even with the mage class.
Knight enchanter class made that pretty easy in DA:I.
“Here, in the dust… It’s the footprint of a huge beast… Something like… An elephant ! Did you hear something ?
– Nope.
– Hm. Watch out, there is a pachidermic assassin here. Again.”
THIS IS AWESOME. <3 <3 <3
The ogre ninja Hearthstone pic reminds me of this from the Tick: http://www.thetick.ws/images/ninjahedge.jpg
Vin Dissel is such a DnD nerd and is so nice he’d probably let Jared be a centaur rogue lol
I made a Shardmind Monk, which means that I don’t need to eat, breath, sleep, wear armor, or use a weapon. I have no idea what to do with my gold.
This made me miss my super-high level 3.5 Wizard that had wish as an at will power. Most of the time I spent riding around on a couch golem, while eating sandwiches. Anyone my golem made a grapple with had to make a will save or suffer from lethargy and apathy. Our groups rogue regularly supplied me with sleep poisons to use on my sandwiches. We were the nappy-time bunch.
See, I usually do whatever I can to play martial Kobolds in D&D. I know what homebrew my DM will and will not allow, and that’s exploitable as hell. So I’ve actually build some serviceable Kobold tanks in spite of -4 Str and -2 Con.
I was thining about this Elephantaur Rogue. Rolled 18 dex with -2 for racial is 16. At level 1 with +1 skill rank, +3 for class skill and +3 dex modifier, Jarod would have a +7 on his stealth checks.
But more importantly when your aiding another, you only need to roll a 10 to help someone else with their check, and Jarod already has a +7, he’d only need to roll a 3 or higher to help another player stealth.
So I’m imagining not only an elephant hiding in a room, but someone else hiding behind him as well and noone seeing either of them. :D
Although I just realized I forgot the -4 penalty to Stealth, likely due to the Elephantaur being a Large creature.
Also, I checked and it turns out trying to hide behind one of your own allies would actually be a -10 penalty for some reason…
I did the same thing for a player in my group. He had written stories about his own fantasy race with history and even spent hundreds of dollars commissioning artwork for it. When he joined my game, I let him play the race and homebrewed stats for it.
Honestly, you were better off as a ranger anyway. The rogue is the worst class in Pathfinder RPG, and Stealth is absolutely broken. If you play by the rules, any character with line of sight of you is considered “observing” you, and you cannot use Stealth when observed unless you got the Hide In Plain Sight class feature. When you’re a bisontaur, it’s REALLY hard to NOT be in someone’s line of sight.
Hooray for Vin Diesel! (“That’s not Vin Diesel, that’s his character Riddick!” Sure it is, buddy. Sure it is.)
I haven’t played any P&P RPG in ages, but considering my penchant for playing as a Troll Paladin in ADOM and as a Troll Rogue in DC:SS, I’d probably do the same. (The again, rogues in DC:SS are just dudes wot throw stuff, so troll rogues start with some eight boulders as a throwing weapon…)
So i am playing a noble wilds campaign of pathfinder with some friends and the GM is my girlfriend who spent the last week setting up an encounter for the random human dragoon in our group (because a dragoon would totally get caught up in a group of talking animals problems). He basically challenged the leader of the elephant tribe for dominance. Today we did the encounter and all bust up laughing when he one shotted the elephant king in half plate with his halberd that he had set up in a brace and then threatened and confirmed a critical hit on. It calculated to about 80 damage total by the time we were done and the elephant king failed his fortitude save to not die from massive damage.
Beware spearman Jared!!!
To clarify the elephant king was in half plate not the dragoon. I don’t know what kind of armor he was wearing but it didn’t matter this time, yay crits!
This couldn’t have been posted at a better time. Just got invited to a DnD game by a friend AND just re-watched the third Riddick movie. Albeit my class isn’t anything outstanding like Jared’s elephant centaur rouge. Just a bald monk for me, but at least I got a cool staff.
I admit I was a biiiit lucky with one of my off-the-wall characters. My husband was the dm and he loves a challenge *grin*. My character, with much tweaking of rules, was a “warlock tiefling”, whose name was Tippy. Tippy Top-Hat. Now Tippy is actually a regenerative omni-dimensional character that can appear as any race or class, at any given time. My husband named her a fallen god, and came up with a list of rules and abilities (and disabilities) only Tippy could have. For instance, she had an insanity roll; once per encounter, she had to roll to see if she was normal… or insane. IN one instance of insanity, she stole a spear out of one of our warrior’s hands…. while he was using it. Without him noticing. Another time, she stopped, in the middle of a battle, to have tea with a colossal squid that lives in her hat (there is room in there for everything apparently). Her hat also created a vortex of destruction and various elemental “breath” attacks, that nearly killed one of her party members. But she gave him one of her sandwiches of healing to make up for it, and ended up killing him after all (they have a 50% chance of being okay!)… Sadly the group broke up before she got her displacer kitty or her caravan pulled by a giant tortoise.
I really have to start writing my adventures of Tippy books someday….
Heh, heh. Sometimes Jared can be such a Hiiiiiipppppppsssssstttttteeeeerrrrr!
Yes, I’m that guy.
It’s just like real life. Everyone ignores the elephant in the room.
Sadly I’ve never had a group to play DnD with, so I ended up a Shadowrun junky, and boy do we get up to similar shenanigans.
Personal favorite builds include: a possession tradition Free Spirit of Man (Trash/Garbage) trapped in a hybrid flesh form host body, resulting in the filthiest stray dog in the world but with magical superpowers; an elderly but handsome and clever Satyr diplomat, accountant, psychiatrist, and gigolo from Greece; a Malaysian pirate/Dayak Headhunter T’skrang (aquatic lizard/dragon-men from ancient magical prehistory); a timid Japanese office nerd Troll computer whiz who went postal on his corporate cubicle farm and had to flee the country; and a breakdancing cyborg Ork capoeira machine-gunner with specialized pneumatic ankle-spikes used to anchor himself into floors to help absorb full auto recoil living in the apocalyptic ruins of Chicago.
Then there are the community legends – figures of myth, the heroes of stories passed down in whispers in the darkest corners of fansites and forums. Names like “Boas Mungo”, the ork street Shaman / slumlord / professional fixer of the downtown Seattle undercity, reknowned for his sheer rippling machismo and bizarre manner of speech. Or “Bear-Who-Walks-Through-Walls”, the Troll Bear Shapeshifter who can dig tunnels through anything short of a reinforced blast bunker at a rate of at least twenty feet per minute with his bare (bear) hands.
Awwww; I take it you’re not a supporter of every player’s right to bear arms? ;p
*ba-dum-tss*
Clearly Riddick has never seen Fantasia.
Not one joke about him playing a “rogue elephant”?
Another fun DnD story: I was a CN Elven Druid and we were running a new campaign (in 3.5) when we encountered some sort of strange dark liquid in a pool. The rest of the party was discussing what to do when I look the DM straight in the eye and say, “I drink from the pool.” Four people failed strength checks trying to stop me, and so we found out that it was poisonous.
Moral of the story: Let the stupid tactician drink from the pool. It’ll learn ‘im.
My buddies and I just started playing D&D exactly around the time you posted this. One of our friends wanted to be a Barbarian Dwarf/Orc, who we aptly named a Dworc. So far, he has acted EXACTLY how you think someone like that would…especially with 8 charisma and the fact that he has about as much common sense as a rock.
Dworcs need to be a actual race in DnD by themselves.
They are too perfect not to be.
Reminds me of the one time I tried to play D&D back in college, where I joined a group as a member had to leave due to a housing dispute. I was a Barbarian, and managed to roll 17+ on every stat except Int, on which I rolled a natural 1. Thus, “Ghurrrrrg!” (not his name, but pretty much the only thing he could say) the Barbarian was born, as strong as a house and about as intelligent. When it came time to take second classes, Ghurrrrrg figured that, if he was strong as a barbarian, if he took barbarian as his second class he could be two barbarians at once! And so, Ghurrrrrg the Barbarian/Barbarian (or Barbarian^2) set off with his companions, each of them grateful for his strength even if he did dribble out of both sides of his mouth.
17 on every stat except INT? With a CHA of 17 and a vocabulary of one word, Ghurrrrrg must have been surprisingly eloquent in verbal debates. Or did his muscles speak for him?
I love this comic. You can hit random and the day is instantly better.
Well, If it is 3.5 ed D&D you just need 4K gold to add shadow on your armour. The enchantment is not often used since most actual rogues don’t need it but that +5 completely offsets the negative of being a large race with -2 dex. Furthermore while the next two upgrades are 15k and 34K respectively none of that branch of enchantments takes up one of the ten max bonus slots so your armour won’t get any more expensive to enchant. Finally if you don’t mind losing the option of wearing other types of boots you could theoretically have gotten some boots of elvenkind, modified into horseshoe form depending on your Dm for as little as 2.5K which gives the same +5 bonus.
The difficulty is never hiding but finding that which has hidden. Unless you are playing 4th or 5th in which case ignore my post.
I just started playing recently myself, and made a Pixie Swarm Druid whose animal form is a swarm of butterflies. I’ve been enjoying alternately befuddling or horrifying the rest of my party, who are mainly combat-focused. I would be curious about the elephant or bison centaur races, though :)
Back in High School me and my friends once made an off the walls D&D game where roleplaying could deny dice rolls. It eventually got to ludicrious levels to the point that my in-game character (a golem) literally ate the metaphorical dice of our existence.
We were summoned by the gods to explain ourselves for our lack of keeping with the story and shown the dusty and barely used marble and onyx runestones used to determine our fates. While my other party members (a human/sphinx/griffin, golden elf, and human architect) argued with the gods I used my special ability (stone eater) to eat the dice. We were then sentenced to the field of falling coconuts for our crimes against D&D.
You’re a terrible person, I almost spat soda all over my laptop. XD
I need to get back to roleplaying someday, I miss these kind of things…
Sounds like indie movie “The Gamers”
Or when my sister DMs. She has loud, screeching hiccups (fortunately, they’re also solo). Whenever she hiccups while DMing, she rolls a D20 to see if something good or bad will happen to the next thing we do.
She even did it while we were making characters. I lost 10gp from my starting money, but I gained a +1 to my Dex.
You know, I just realized, Rogue doesn’t necessarily mean stealthy. With the right feats, he could easily play a frontline swashbuckler that could use a feint or dirty trick to render a foe flat-footed and then get to stabbin’.
Thats the duelist prestige class in 3rd ed
Duelist isn’t a very good class, really. Straight Rogue, Possibly Rogue/Assassin or Rogue/Wizard/Arcane Trickster, assuming core Pathfinder or 3.5, would be better.
Half-Orc Barbarian 3/Rogue 5 with 20 +5 Dex and 18 +4 Str. 18 AC, 82 Hp. He has Weapon Finesse so his +1 Rapier sneak attacks for 1d6+6 + 3d6.
Or he goes into rage, which increases strength by 4 to make it 22 +6, and the 1.5 times Str bonus damage for two-handed weapons means his Greatsword does 2d6+9
i think it could be great to know, beside pectoral grith (and what number would be the pectoral grith needed exactly) what are the prerequisites to sign in the agency…
i would try to see if anyone i know have at least half of it…(i know a few “big guys”, marines, martial artist, gym adicts, and a fightclub full of madmen… but i doubt they “have it”)
This reminds me of a Story Noah/The Spoony One once related about a D&D Group, where he played as an Orc Thief. when one of the other players mocked him in-character (something along the lines of “how could an ORC be a Thief??”), he responded by knocking the other Guy unconscious and robbing him Blind XD
I did that once. Except my orc did more than k.o. the guy that mocked him.
Rangers are great fun to play! I once had a brief stint as the Worst Ranger Ever; I failed every Listen and Climb check I ever tried, so she was a terrible tracker, and fell out of trees on a regular basis.
remember me the last DnD i played, we were a team of 3: one half demon warrior, one sorcerer draconien, and i was an efrit rogue: basically one big dude spitting fire, one medium dude throwing fire from his hands, and one little dude with flames on his head, the three of them red colored, with bat type wings: the DM was so annoyed at us that he kept making us go underground in tunnels so we couldn’t just fly all the way blasting fire
I built a gargoyle rogue once. It actually worked out rather well. So long as I didn’t try to move while people were around. That an a natural twenty on just the right bluff check. “I’m really a statue, and your friend spiked your drink with acid.” My GM nearly throttled me.
Heh this is great. It used to drive me crazy when new players especially, but “seasoned” players do it to, take your extra work and totally mess with it. I swear that is a goal of many players outside of actually playing the game. This is not so much issue anymore as because we . In this game RP and game mechanics are totally separate. So I can let a player be a bisontaur rogue if they want to be. No extra rules or things I have to mess with. Which is awesome because they get to be a bisontaur rogue and I don’t have to be all mad that my extra work was wasted! Everyones happy!
I did something like this with Pathfinders when I joined a friends’ group (I didn’t know the DM and he’s autistic like I am, fun mix).
The characters were already at fifth level, so I made Kain, a Half-Orc Barbarian lvl 3, Rogue lvl 2 (the only multi-classer).
Str 17 +3 (21 +5 while in Rage)
Dex 20 +5 (racial bonus +2 to chosen stat , +1 stat increase at 4th level)
Con 16 +3 (20 +5 while in Rage)
Int 17 +3
Wis 15 +2
Cha 14 +2
He had 68 HP and 43 Skill points.
Studded Leather for only -1 Dex check penalty, spiked for 1d6 piercing
+1 Rapier, Greatsword, strength Longbow +3 (heavier draw weight for up to +3 bonus damage from strength modifier)
This guy could run into the front lines of combat and flank somebody with an ally he could use the rapier to get a sneak attack for 1d8+3+2d6 (DM ruled only rogue weapons for sneak attack). Or he could go into rage and swing around his greatsword for 2d6+5 damage.
weapons wielded with both hands do 1.5 times Str bonus damage (round down) so he does +4 or +7 in rage, but we just hit 8th level at the end of last session and I increased his Str to 18 +4 (22 +6 in rage) so his two-handed bonus damage will be +6 or +9 in rage. He’s going to murder everything XD
The real question here is would dalsim ride the bisontaur
What i love about this, is the fact that Vin Diesel is actually a HUGE D&D nerd, and the fact that you have him in a D&D related comic and as a DM is wonderful.
My favorite thing about the group I used to play with, was what we called “Quirks”. We had a list of 300 things that you would add to your character’s personality, or that would provide some type of boost or detriment. This could be as simple as having 1000 gold when you start, to being albino or having missing or extra fingers or toes…. my favorite was “gets pleasure from others’ pain”.
We would roll 1D4 to see how many we would get, then 1D6 for what page (there were three pages), then 1D100 to see which quirk you got. We also made a rule that you could re-roll a bad quirk, but you were required to pick up an additional quirk if you did so.
This system at one time resulted in an albino human cleric who panicked easily, a dark elf rogue who got pleasure from others’ pain, and a high elf mage who considered all other lifeforms to be vastly inferior to herself.
This is how the game is made better and more easily enjoyed.
Oh man.. My group pulls off bullshit like this all the time. I’d hate them, everyone one of my players except it’s turns out to be awesome because of the crazy stuff I can throw at them and WATCH THEM WIN. It’s like.. No, just.. I don’t even know how.
Ahahaha yes! And yay for rangers!