He’s picked up a trick or two from Jared in their travels together
December 26, 2015
4:22 am
Tank ran outta piss and vinegar right quick.
ALSO! 300th Strip! That’s pretty cool!
Manly Guys Doing Manly Things
Updated Mondays or whenever I feel like it
“If we could put aside our differences then so can you! It’s Christmas, probably! How long have we been out here?”
Side note: That Megaladon is adorable.
They’re all time travelers, ergo it’s Christmas whenever they want it to be.
…Or more precisely, it can be Christmas *when*ever they go…
As long as they avoid thinking about it too much.
Is asking how Spider and Tank handle time-travel, being partially mechanical, thinking too much about it? Are their implants some kind of future-tech that is carbon based?
I don’t think that they operate on Terminator rules. Also, and I’m pretty sure about this, but Terminator doesn’t operate on Terminator rules.
I suspect Mr. Fish and Sir Shark will get along just swimmingly.
I sea what you did there
That might be up for da bait.
Guys, your humor really bites.
Guys, these kinda of puny jokes need to fin-ish
Whale, lets agree to disagree.
Shore thing SKW!
Water you trying to say?
No need to get salty about it.
There’s something fishy happening in these comments, but I can’t quite put my fin-ger on it…
This is neither the time nor the plaice for such comments.
Good one, chum!
Indeed, it’s a league above my own.
Yah, we’re a bit out of our depth.
You all should be sent to the gill-otine for these puns.
Can’t we scale this back a bait?
I really can’t fathom some of these puns.
Yeah, it’s a good pun-ishment.
This was a survival contest that could only end when someone Jumped the Shark…
You’re krill-ing me.
fish
Man, these jokes are so bad, they’re pun-ishing.
I wondered what the Commander did after he walked into the ocean…He took time to knit-one & a whole bunch of pearly whites.
I hereby dub the name of that Megalodon to henceforth & forevermore be: MacHeath !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8iPUK0AGRo
well done my punny friend, but don’t make a halibut of this kind of behavior. other wrasse what’s the point.
I thought I cod, but I can’t hake any more of these puns!
***
Also, congratulations on 300 strips! It’s been an amazing ride, and here’s hoping for more!
All these aquatic puns are way out of my league
He really is Angel’s Jared, isn’t he?
That sounds like a really apt comparison
At least Jared knows how to park his fishmonster in a building without destroying the walls, ceiling and everthing else
Y’see, th’ problem with that statement, is that y’ were assumin’ he didn’t do that on purpose.
Headcanon accepted.
Headcanon? Jonesy flat-out said it a while back.
I’ve got to admit, the Commander has his “Macho Posturing & Pronouncing” skills Mastered. Take not that this is beyond the level of Expert.
The Commander’s level? “It’s over 9000 !”
That has to be one of the most awesome fucking images you’ve ever drawn, and you’ve drawn a lot of awesome stuff.
Congratulations on 300 strips of one of the best webcomics on the internet (I will fight anybody who says otherwise).
And thus the reason why he is in charge of EVERYONE!
Correct on both counts.
This is one of the manliest things I have ever seen in my life.
Otherwise
If arguing with your genetically enhanced relatives during Christmas, just throw a huge ass exstinct fish in a sweater on them. Obviously works wonders.
I need to start doing that. Giant extinct sweater fish… I’m liking this.
The only way to make a giant extinct sweater look good is with a giant extinct fish.
The whole point of this “exercise” they’re doing is to see which team racks up the most Awesome Points. I’d say the Commander just won the contest for his team.
Now we know why they are extinct! Damn time travelers!
Will this become a new best friend for Mr. Fish? *hope*
Mr. Fish would eat him.
Begging your pardon, but how?
“Life finds a way.”
Start at the tail and don’t stop? o_O
Mr. Fish has the ability to move on land better than the Megalodon.
One bite
at a time.Not only is this a great
humungusentrance, I really like that the Commander picked up Giant Sea Monster Taming tricks from Jared. Between the two of them, you wouldn’t think Commander would learn to be more badass from Jared, but then, that is why he gave him a job in the first place.Well, that’s the thing. In certain situations – that is, anything involving Pokemon – Jared IS totally badass. Remember the exercise arc? The second Jared figured out how to combine exercise and Pokemon, he went up to eleven.
Even more badass is how Jared leveled up Mr. Fish so fast during Pokemon battles.
You get to be badass by picking up badass at every oportunity.
After learning from Jared, The Commander went & found his own Pokemon…
You know, up until this point, I don’t think I’d considered that Commander might win this thing. He’s mostly taken a kind of secondary, passive role, while the other characters did the cool stuff, or the things that really stood out. So this was pretty unexpected, but great.
Congratulations on 300 strips, Coelasquid. I’d say I’ve probably enjoyed most of them, so I hope there’s still plenty more to come.
And Commander Badass stays true to his name with a comeback homerun!
The radest team is always the one with a dapper megalodon.
Look at the cute little dorsal sleeve!
Wait…Doesn’t one of his kids love sharks?….OMG, hes going to bring it home to become a pet, isn’t he?!
YES!
So much yes!!! That’s the kind of gift thats settles the separated parents argument
*thumbsup*
Plot Twist: Commander pulls time shenanigans, and this is the reason WHY his kid loves sharks.
The Commander has found a new pet for his young son and a playmate for Mr Fish, SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Commander just won the game imo. I love the Humongous line. Cheers Coelasquid on the 300th strip, it’s been awesome so far, and I know there’s plenty more to come
He even knit it a little hat with a pompom on top! Best Commander ever!
Please tell me Commander knew how to knit a sweater for a megalodon because he has knitted one in the past for Mr. Fish.
The other members of his team taught him to knit earlier in this arc.
…that doesn’t rule out Mr. Fish sweaters in the future, though.
OR the past! Time traveler, remember? He may have already knit a sweater for past Mr Fish at a future point.
That is so freaking badass. I’m gonna say Rock and company won this thing.
It is at this point that Jared truly belongs at the agency with all the other macho dudes. Anyone who can impart enough knowledge to someone to be able to befriend a massive, dangerous sea beast truly deserves to be among the manliest people around. Granted, he deserved it before, but now he has something to back it up besides Mr. Fish.
By “a trick or two” I’m assuming befriending and/or knitting sweaters for large sea creatures?
I love that the Commander allready prepared his whole entrance “There has been too much violence” speech, completely disregarding that at this point prop 90% of the violence and destruction that occured was due to his entrance :D
Congratulations on 300 strips Coalasquid. Manly Guys is by far my favorite Webcomic. It made me laugh more than 300 times allready : )
omg so that’s what he was knitting back then.
I think that as well. It was a little bit darker than the colors seen above, but that could be due to shade from where the Commander was standing. That combined with the fishing pole means it all makes sense now.
I wonder what bait he used to catch that?
Strawberry jam, obviously.
It would be awesome if it all came together like that.
That question certainly produces a conundrum, chum…
I see what you did there.
The raptors in armor on bikes were awesome. The hotel in the middle of nowhere with raptors in tiny bespoke tuxedos carrying hors d’oeurves beat that. I was fine with the possibility that Rock Lobster was gonna lose out. I am no longer fine with that and I hope we are seeing a new character that can pop up occasionally. Commander taught his fire to be free range, he can teach Meggy (name is head canon until told otherwise) to breathe air and swim the land.
Angel really did a number on Tank’s Feeling Joy. He isn’t even amazed by the Megalodon in the sweater!
Congratulations on the 300th Strip.
His angry juice ran out! Now he’s just sad! ^.^
I can relate. Calming down from an intense rage often leaves one feeling empty and lethargic.
BWAHAHAHAHA!
Sorry, I thought the moment just called for some maniacal laughter.
Man, I feel bummed just looking at him :'(
On the upside: SHARK SWEATER!
I bet tank is remembering all the shit he was saying about Angle and the girls right now. So he’s just going “Man, I went way to far this time.”
I would assume that Rock Lobster Koolaid Man’ing megalodons through Spider’s boredom-structures is a regular thing at this point in their survival game.
Maybe he puts some variety on it? I mean one time it’s a giant pterodactyl, another a huge Tyrannosaur Rex and on yet another some ginormous mammoth.
There needs to be a wallpaper of that scene. It’s more badass then Mr. Torgue wrestling a shark with a bow tie on!
Also, gratz for making it to 300! May there be 300 more!
who was wearing the bow tie?
The shark, from what Google spits out, though it appears Torgue is also wearing one that’s untied.
Okay, I’m sort of wondering if Tank has clinical depression. When the rage was cut off, he didn’t go to “pissed” or even “sad”, he went to “meh”. That would also explain why he’s willing to dose himself with rage-juice, even if doing so is clearly the worst idea. It’s not conclusive of course*, but between that and the Patreon strips I’m really suspecting it.
*I’m armchair diagnosing a cyborg from the future based on maybe 10 strips worth of information who spends most of that time dosed out of his mind on unknown drugs, of course I could be 100% wrong on any part of it.
Maybe the “red ones” that angel took out contain some kind of future dopamine?
I think you might be right… It would explain why he keeps the tubes hooked up, even though they make him a raging asshole. And why he seemed desperate to not get unhooked.
I would take magical rage-juice over depression any day. Actually, if that’s really the case, I’m feeling kind of annoyed with Angel for disconnecting him… That’s awful.
Tank was made into a giant guiny pig on how far you can chemically and mechanically push a supersoldier before he breaks. And they just kept going. Once he checked into the doctor and they cut off both his feet with mechanical ones while he was out. Tank was an anger prone guy before but with the different roids messing up his brain, he is completely emotionally unstable, regularly lashing out against those close to him. As a result of that Tank has in fact become really isolited and depressed. You could see it as a Space Future version of PTSD and what he is going through is pretty similar to what many soldiers go through after coming home from war.
The Commander took care of him a lot that’s why he has such strong emotions towards Rock. Sorry for becoming so serious here. But I wanted to answer your question seriously : )
I’d just like to note that EVERYONE helps haul tank out of harm’s way there. I find that a neat touch.
Probably more likely that Angel simply pulled out too many red ones or something.
I like to think that all that rage and anger are just naturally draining and then all the chemical “enhancements” and psychological issues just compound matters.
Christmas Shark really gets around!
One day, Cannon..!
So when they get back is Canada guy going to be there enthusiastically greeting Rock? I hope so.
Canada Guy will hit Rock for Boxing Day
Wow, I can’t believe I’ve been reading this comic for five or six years! I remember I first started reading pretty early in. Congrats on the big 300! I’m so glad to have been here for the ride.
Yeah!! Congratulations on the legendary 300 and an asesomelly drawn Commander riding a sweater wearing Megalodon
Yeah, I’d call this a win for Angel’s crew.
It is a this point that I will state that I believe Rock and Mr. Torgue Flexington would get along nicely.
Ok, Megalodon, cool. Knitting a onesie for the megalodon, cooler. Call the megalodon Megan, even cooler. Giving the megalodon to his little one? Badass. Now I want to see the tank for Megan and the little one with starred eyes.
Megan doesn’t need a tank, she’s to cool for that. Besides how else is Rock’s kid gonna take her for walks and play-dates in the park with Mr. Fish if she can’t roam free upon the land?
I FUCKING CALLED IT AND IT’S STILL GLORIOUS!
Also congrats on 300 comics.
Wait, you predicted Commander riding a megalodon in a knit sweater?
Can you do my lotto numbers?
Mine too
Ah man, they pulled out the wires so now he’s all down on himself. That’s not much better.
It’s the crash after the high. They seem like the types to nurse him through it to where he can even out.
Surfing in on a megalodon in a hand-knitted sweater seems potentially rad enough to win.
But would a Megalodon even NEED a sweater? The ocean is pretty cold, after all. Sharks do fine without… Unless prehistoric oceans were considerably warmer, in which case Rock is super considerate for knitting that sweater!
It’s a magic sweater that allows sharks to breathe air
I think I was less prepared for the Humungus than I was the shark. No idea why.
Sharks are a thing in this comic. Humungus has not yet been, though.
The comic just literally jumped the shark. >.> I hope this isn’t a precursor for her ending the series.
Jumping the Shark is the term for when a series has so far departed from its roots as to become unrecognizable. Literally jumping sharks is right in the core of this comic’s wheelhouse, so I’d say we’re fine.
The day Cmdr. Badass up there is a belligerent, abusive jerk, that’ll be the day the shark is jumped, fates forefend.
I think it would be more “the shark jumped the comic” than the other way around.
That right there is a textbook Majestic Entrance. Also that sweater looks comfy as hell.
While reading the comic I can say with the utmost certainty that a megalodon in a hand knitted sweater was the furthest thing from my mind. It has absolutely baffled me. Well done Kelly, for keeping this comic unpredictable and hilarious as always.
Tank, you shouldn’t self-medicate nihilistic depression with ANGRY GO GO JUICE, man. That’s not a long-term solution.
What about MAD SCIENCE!? I mean, those mad scientists are always laughing maniacally. They don’t really seem to have any problems with depression.
More like a short-term, potentially permanently long-term solution depending on circumstances.
It is both cute and terrible. I’d hug it but I like living.
“He belongs to the ocean now”
…except that, with that new pet, most of the ocean and a significant portion of the surface now belongs to him.
Beautiful.
This… this is something magical. I keep coming back to this and keep finding myself in fits of giggles. Its just so ridiculous and simultaneously brilliant. XD
Oh man. I bet that sweater is designed to keep the megalodon wet. How thoughtful!
Y’know how you asked a while back in alt-text if the stuff you were drawing was funny or just weird. The comic you drew then was funny. This. THIS is weird.
That is the cutest megalodon I’ve ever seen. Are you a fan of Kongou Banchou by any chance? I think you may enjoy his shared love of clothed megalodons.
Guys, I think the absurdity of this arc has — (MEGALADON) JEEEE-ZUS CHRIST!!
Tank may not be a great person, but I can at least sympathize with the feeling of a total crash due to messed-up brain chemistry (even if he did bring it on himself). Nothing I can say about the awesome-ness of the Megalodon that hasn’t been said before, but it is surely amazing.
Pretty cool? I daresay it is pretty rad.
I was thinking about something, they mentioned Tank ‘carrying a torch’ for Rock, and Tank seemed to keep trying to get Rock to join him. I then thought back to when he talked about how he hated the brass constantly trying to add cybernetics or get them messed up to the point where they could add the implants without permission. Look at Tank, this is what he’s like AFTER his siblings jailbroke his system so the brass couldn’t just pump him full of murder fuel whenever they wanted. Rocks contempt for the brass isn’t just for what they did to him, it’s also for what they did to all of his family, I mean hell, imagine growing up with a brother who you care about and then you see the brass manipulate and transform him, literally making him a rage beast just to make him more ‘badass’. I look at it, Rock staying calm during all of that, being able to look at the people that did all this to him and his family and not want to annihilate them, instead staying calm and saying matter of factly that he wants to punch the guy in charge in the face, and accepting the ability to do so at his choosing, not even to punch him but just to make the guy feel some tension…
sorry, realized I was rambling a bit, I guess I just realized how much we’ve learned about Rocks siblings through fairly small things and also how it actually does inform earlier comics in some fairly interesting ways.
Coelasquid, you have just made my Christmas. Thankyou!
That Megalodon just looks so adorable with its hat and sweater and its fins curved upwards like that. Almost looks like a Spongebob character. Just knocks down walls obliviously, going “:D HEY, GUYS! WHATCHA DOIN’?! CAN I PLAY TOO?!”
Hope it’s cool if I use that for my desktop background, because it is simultaneously epic tier badass and cute as hell.
How did the shark even get there in the first place?
https://youtu.be/I16_8l0yS-g?t=47s
I SAY! Panel #3 has got to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
Did he just… go back in time, catch a Megalodon, shove it into a tank somewhere whilst he knitted a sweater, somehow get the sweater onto the Megalodon, all just so he could drop it through the roof so his friends could see?!
I-I think I love this man…
That is the most fantastic Megalodon in existence, its hat is so charming
So, I’m not exactly flush with cash, but I do now have my first credit card, so web transactions are suddenly a lot easier.
And I’d like to see more of Tank’s story (and help support the artist). How is that handled again? Is it connected to a donation thing on the site, or a patreon thing, or…what was it, again?
It’s on Patreon! At the $1/month pledge tier! Thanks so much!
I would argue the Commander just won.
It looks like someone has been watching One Piece!
I don’t think I’ve ever watched One Piece.
You should try reading One Piece manga, Coelasquid. But lemme warn you, it is addictive & you WILL continue to read it to the latest chapter :P
I’d wait another 15 years. He might actually be close to finishing it at that point and the filler will be over.
One Piece is the kind of manga where a Megalodon in a sweater would appear and talk to the main characters about how the ocean is oddly cold in the area.
I’ve read every single chapter of One Piece and it didn’t came to my mind.
Be warned! There’s like 700 episodes of One Piece. Including a DBZ crossover.
OMG really? That’s sounds so awful that I gotta watch it.
I thought the motorcycle riding, maitre d velociraptors serving horderves and dressed in tiny bespoke tuxedos couldn’t possibly be outdone by anything you could put in the comic. Then in comes Tank riding a Megalodon, which he knitted and dressed in a sweater and matching hat. I love the absurdity of this scene. It fits though.
Congratulations on 300 strips, best of luck to your future in whatever pursuits you choose. Thank you for the humor and insights I’ve found from your hilarious, insightful, humorous, badass comic. Best wishes to your 2016.
Tank is the unhappy cyborg surrounded by women. The masked megalodon rider is Commander Rock Lobster.
It’s a frakkin’ Megalodon!
With SWEATER!! \(ﾟ∀ﾟ)/
Hm… I am switching between being very excited to very confused about Commander riding in on a giant shark. I am thinking about the fact he said he couldn’t take out Tank because Tank was so big and crazy. If he couldn’t take out Tank, how could he subdue this shark? Or was it really just his desire to avoid unneeded fighting and knowing that Tank was off his rocker, the same way you don’t start a fist fight with your overly drunk buddy?
Seriously, if Tank and Commander had to fight to the death, who would win?
If Tank could take out Commander, how did the latter subdue this giant shark?
Angel kicked Tank’s butt, does that mean Commander couldn’t take her? Or could he take both? I am kind of in the favor of nobody being able to take down Angel, because she just seems so hardcore bad-ass.
This is gonna prevent me from sleeping tonight.
I just know it :(
That said; this was absolutely awesome and I really, really love it! Congrats on the 300 and I hope for many more comic strips to come! This series brighten up my mondays, and have been doing so for 2 years or so. It’s addictive and brilliant in every which way, even when illogically huge subdued sharks are involved :D
Seeing the title for this, one would assume that Commander just made friends with it instead of fighting it.
Oh right, Angel taught Commander to knit. I guess it really DID come in handy in the end.
Did Angel yank Tank’s “Don’t Give A Shit” wire? Or is this just him when he ‘rage-crashes’?
ROFL this arc just gets more surreal and hilarious with every page. I never want it to end. I am pre-emptively sad for any possible return to normality. The lulz have peaked, never again to be as hilarious as a Megalodon in a bobble-top beret.
300 great strips! Congratulations!
Sharkmungous uses Collapse The Ceiling.
It’s Super-Effective!
Congrats on 300 – though this isn’t Sparta for whatever reason.
Yeah, it’s too bad Leonidas sat this one out.
Do you honestly think Leonidas is capable of anything that would be anywhere close to a fair trade for a giant shark in a sweater and pom-pom cap?
Does anyone know how to get Panel three as a Wallpaper?
If you figure it out do let me know.
Download the page and crop it to that panel, set background and stretch to fit screen. Lowers the resolution a bit but I think it’s a worthwhile tradeoff.
OK, first of all, Rock has just won the competition for Angel’s team. There’s no topping a gigantic Megalodon in a sweater. Second, Tank is definitely in need of some help. It looks like he’s some major issues to get worked out. As Rock has pointed out, the most macho acting guys are probably the ones with the most issues/insecurities. Hopefully Tank gets the help he needs and grows to be less of a sexist jerkass.
All awesomeness aside Tank went all emo and now I can’t stop imagining him painting his nails and listening to Cure.
Every time I think this comment could not possibly surprise it, You just turn it around and its hilarious.
Wait, didn’t he just help make the hotel that much more awesome for Spider?
CAN WE GET A DESKTOP VERSION OF MEGALADON PANEL!?!?!?!?!
I second this request.
That’s a sharkin’ huge sweater.
If the sweater fits, wear it…
It’s very fitting of this strip that the 300th is a megalodon wearing a bobble hat.
Also, previous question re: topping the raptors answered.
I noticed that everyone seems to have overlooked that Commander also knitted that shark a matching hat.
The more I see Jones in that armor, the more it makes me want to see someone from Dark Souls in the comic. That said, I don’t know if anyone in particular fits the correct definition of manliness to do so. Maybe Solaire or Benhart?
Ok that’s certainly a mutated Megalodon, it’s clearly too big.
… I know he’s -Commander- but that pose atop the Megalodon suggests he’s gotta little captain in him too…
Actually, I think the Megalodon has earned Captain rank…He did a fine impression of Captain *Crunch* right there on the wall !
This. This is beautiful. I look forward to more insanity from this strip, Coelasquid.
Note: Hasn’t CB’s son worn a matching sweater? I feel this plan was inspired by him as well as Jared.
Also, people have brought up many notes that this 300th strip is lacking in Leonidas… I now desperately want to see Jared trying to interact with him.
Megalodon with sweater: Cute!! Commander in that getup: AWESOMELY HOT. <3 <3 <3
Sitting here knitting a hat and consider how LONG it would take to knit a megaladon sweater. I almost gave up on a baby sweater, and did on a toddler sweater. Hats off for persistence, Commander.
I think my favorite part of this is how most of his squadmates are more exasperated than anything. Like they almost expect this level of ridiculous when they lose track of the commander during these exercises.
Everyone else in the competition is now channelling Nathan Explosion:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYwWwKV1JCE
If I could give this strip a like, I’d give it a bunch. I like it so much.
He wins.
A megalodon dressed with a knited sweater and a knited hat, Now, THAT’S RADICAL!!!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA this is a thing of beauty!
Best entrance. x)
This remains to this day one of my favourite pages