Hey it’s Easter
April 17, 2017
2:46 am
Jared’s got enough dumb luck with animals it’ll probably work out.
Manly Guys Doing Manly Things
Updated Mondays or whenever I feel like it
Jared’s got enough dumb luck with animals it’ll probably work out.
Welp, I hope you’ll enjoy some crab salad for lunch…
Jones, the voice of reason.
Eh, it’s the Commander and Jared
Worst case scenario, either the Commander saves them in a bad ass way and teaches Jared a valuable fatherly lesson, or Jared ends up capturing them and adding them to his team
Watch the Commander save him after the chestburster comes out, and then Jared tries to raise the little thing. I could totally see Jared saying something along the lines of “It came out of me, so I’m its momma now.” It would probably end with Mr. Fish eating it.
Curiously enough, one of the Aliens sourcebooks actually says something about the aliens having some sort of ‘feelings’ for its ‘incubation chamber’ slash ‘parent’. As in when they pass by the long dead body of their birth, they’ll pause beside it once in a while, pondering…
… then again, Battery-powered death machines and ‘Feelings’… yeah…
If I recall correctly in the alien Resurrection book it was implied that the xenomorphs had gained some basic knowledge from their hosts(an understanding of written text if no more than a practical interest in what it said) it’s possible that memories and other personality traits may be inheritable in the same way which could trigger something when it passes a face it remembers from a mirror.
The aliens in Ressurection were not typical hybrids but those corrupted with too much of Ripley’s DNA. The whole group is a bunch of insane, confused mutants.
Great, now I’m imagining a Xenomorph knitting just cause that was the host’s favorite thing to do. O.o
that brought to mind this quote “he’s an unstoppable killing machine and i’m Betsy fucking Ross?” xD
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!
… Jared took a baseball bat with him when he went to work at that five nights jump scare pizza place but he doesn’t know what a Aliens Facehugger egg looks like?
His common sense is inconsistent. Particularly since he’s probably played a game with something like these in it at least once before…
I disagree. He was hired as a guard, and needed a weapon to actually protect the Pizza Place in case someone actually broke in, which he then used when the killer bots attacked him. With these, however, he just sees huge eggs and doesn’t have a reason to associate them with the Alien Franchise Alien Facehugger Eggs.
And even as they look giant and monstrous… Well… Do you really think all Pokemon eggs are perfect ovoids of solid color?
According to the anime, the perfect ovoid part is the consistent part. They have various patterns and colors, depending on the Pokémon.
Some of the games suggest that the eggs are merely “cradles” created by the parent pokemon!
Which either means they are cocoons and all pokemon have spider-like silk glands, or the people of pokeearth really like to jump through hoops so they don’t have to have awkward conversations about reproduction and conception with teens and pre-teens.
Any Pokemon with an offensive bug type move can use the Z Bug Move
Which involves wrapping the target in silk
Even Charmander can do this
And then there’s Incineroar using it. Now how did that not up the game’s age rating?
Bugs can use silk
Grass types can be seeds
Fire, Rock and Ground can use rocks
Steel can use metal
Water can use shells
Ice can use ice
Most Pokémon can manipulate some kind of substance to protect their babies.
“Get away from her you bunny!”
“Is this mission another bunny hunt?”
Fun fact. In the making of Alien, the facehugger prop went through commercial air as part of the luggage. The prop was made out of various organs and other things, which made it smell a bit. The smell was enough to be noticed by security, so they opened the bags.
Now just imagine being the security guards, who had never seen the movie Alien, opening up the bag and finding THAT.
My mind immediately jumped to: Now imagine being the security guards, who HAVE seen the movie Alien, opening up the bag and finding THAT.
“Fuuuuuuuuu-*!”
They were probably lucky. If it was me, there’d no way I could resist rigging it to a spring so it jumps out when you open the suitcase.
…Some practical jokes aren’t really very practical, are they?…
O.o
Ah, yeah…Just no. How long the prankster would have wound up in prison just wouldn’t be worth it.
Reminds me of a joke Fredrik KT Andersson made once http://derangedmeowmeow.deviantart.com/art/Alien-vs-Easter-Bunny-292405942
Obviously the Alien Queen hired Jared to make her eggs look less scary and thus easier to camouflage among unsuspecting humans during easter. She is a clever bitch.
So…what types do you think a Xenomorph would be, anyway? I’d say Bug/Dark, because of them being pretty damn evil, or Bug/Poison, due to their acid blood.
Poison/Dark: That way they get the various acid attacks, the various biting attacks, the sneak attacks, etc.
I know they get called bugs but they actually aren’t that buglike. And while they don’t like fire we can’t really say they’re vulnerable to it.
Plus Drapion is a straight up bug yet is not bug type
Bug/Dark with Corrode (Poison type moves will work on Steel types and can poison Steel-types)
Potent Venom (Unique Ability that makes any poison status inflicted by this pokemon Badly Poisoned) as a HA
PLENTY of HP sapping moves. Maybe some fire moves that involve liquid fire. DEFINITELY Venoshock.
Unique Egg Type that does the opposite of the Ditto egg type (All eggs found with this pokemon as a parent will always be the same species as this pokemon)
Four-step Evolution (Facehugger (Baby) – Chestburster – Hunter – Branch) Diverging evolution. Males become Praetorians, Females become Queens. Praetorians are ore focused on Attack and Speed, Queens more on Defense and Special Attack.
Give me a bit to make something Predator themed. I’m thinking something that stalemates the Xenomorph, typewise
Is that the godzilla eggs from 1998? love that movie.
I hope you are joking, Old Greg. If not, please turn in your scifi nerd badge at once and hang your head in shame.
I know they are from aliens but that movie is so overexposed and no-one remembers godzilla. Anyway aliens is fictional while godzilla is real.
I was a sci-fi nerd before you were born, but I can’t help hoping someone remembers godzilla 98.
Maybe they aren’t from aliens and I am missing something? When you get as old as me you get a bit confused sometimes.
… You’re obviously missing something, as Godzilla 98’s eggs are at least 4 times the size of what’s shown here. Nobody with a nerd card (with built-in PENDENT! license!!) will associate those monstrosities with the smaller “eggs” here.
The eggs from that Godzilla movie were actual giant eggs, these are clearly the xenomorph eggs that open at the top. Nobody remembers the 98 Godzilla movie because it was a crappy movie not worth remembering or referencing.
Godzilla ’98 is a decent movie but a lot of people don’t like it because they made Godzilla a “mundane” mutant iguana rather than a living avatar of nature’s wrath against nuclear armaments. Then again, the Heisei movies made Godzilla a mutated dinosaur that had at least two children through natural but poorly described means. Basically, uber-fans who weren’t happy it didn’t fit their headcanon.
It’s not just the changes to Godzilla, as you said, Godzilla’s been through several incarnations. The entire movie is badly written, the plot doesn’t work, the characters are a mix of unlikable and incompetent and the acting is average at best. It has a few good moments and the spin off cartoon was good.
The spin off cartoon was AMAZING. As for the movie, those complaints come up far less than “they made him a dumb lizard”. As for whether it’s badly written or the characters unlikable, I think the same can be said of several of the Showa Toho kaiju films. I think it gets too harsh of a rap for what it did, and it might not be a great movie but it’s fun. Like Super Mario Bros.; I’d never say that’s a great (or even good) movie, but it’s entertaining in its badness.
I loved that cartoon.
I also like the 98 movie a lot.
I also like the Mario Bros movie a lot.
So I reallly felt compelled to comment.
I was barely willing to forgive the ’98 movie, or at least avert my eyes, until the little let’s-not-call-them-raptors showed up. That was the breaking point for me. That just sent the whole thing crashing down.
Mr. Fish just ends up eating them all.
I dont want to think too much about the result of a facehugged mr Fish.
He’s way too big to be facehugged, he’d just swallow it.
That may have the same result though.
Maybe he’d get uvula-hugged?
There is a canon thing in the alienverse called a “whalien”
Well… there was a xenomorph rex before… a T-rex that had been infected with a facehugger egg and played host before ultimately sharing the same fate as all others. Thing is nightmare fodder lol Luckily it was never used in the comics. Mostly just a idea that wasn’t used and fan turned around and did full renders of it. Imo it was worse the then queen!
Ripley would absolutely qualify for help in this organisation. She is shown having problems with integration back.
Some may object because she is not muscular enough…
I do not think she gives a damn. I am surprised we haven’t seen her yet.
Ripley’s integration problems were mostly due to the company screwing her over and the difficulty adjusting to a world that’s 80 years ahead of when you last saw it, not a problem due to her attitude and testosterone poisoning.
Sounds like stuff Rock could definitely empathize with, and considering his knack for “finding square holes for square pegs” as Angel put it, I don’t think he’d let a technicality get in the way of helping someone.
I… was going to bring up Sten as an example of someone in the agency with some people issues who’s generally reasonable and not testosteroney, but considering his reactions to extreme stress… Shit, the subtleties of how Coela portrays some damaged people going about their lives are easy to miss sometimes.
For “generally reasonable”, gotta go with Ganondorf. When he’s the charming-enough everyman and Link’s the annoying pest who badgers him in a repeating cycle, the Triforce has turned itself upside down.
He’s reasonable here, but in the games – I’ve never played them, but doesn’t he grandstand and yell a bit, not unlike some of the other members of the agency?
MGDMT!Ganon is pretty mellow, but not the nicest guy. I figure that, even if being a pedantic stickler for canon and explanations (I like to be, but it annoys some folks and I lack information regarding LoZ) a shift in behavior can be attributed to the agency’s influence.
Yeah, canon Ganon is someone who literally gets drunk on Power and starts killing and cursing when he isn’t getting his way. Manipulative, cruel, greedy, vengeful, and justifies it all with wanting a better life for the Gerudo (yet his failures put a stain on their race that they never forgive him for even over 10000 years later).
MGDMT’s Ganon is generally reasonable, as stated, but “generally” always leaves room for exceptions.
So THAT’S how those literal Easter Eggs got painted in Aliens: Colonial Marines!
…yes, I own it, I’m not proud.
I didn’t think Gigers art could be more disturbing but now that you mention it bright colors may very well make it even worse.
Wrong reply, my bad.
I hope he offers to paint the toenails of the alien queen when she shows up to investigate. Then the rest of her.
Alien queen is confused, but feels pretty, lets Jared go whilst she coos at her painted brood and self. Next bunch of foolhardy marines enter a pastel Giger nightmare.
I didn’t think Gigers art could be more disturbing but now that you mention it bright colors may very well make it even worse.
Hands up who wants to see a pastel Giger nightmare!!
*waves had furiously*
Jared’s gonna learn the other meaning of “have an egg for breakfast”
In the alien hive eggs eats you for breakfast.
I’d expect this to result in a Wander Over Yonder’s Captain Tim scenario.
i was just thinking of that
I’m with Lobster on this
I kinda want the facehugger to be wearing bunny ears or something when it pops out of the painted egg.
It’ll be AAAAHdorable.
http://images.geeknative.com.s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/25142648/easter-1.jpg
Get the egg dye and color me impressed.
Just happened to see it in my friend’s Facebook feed. The world runs on impossibly convenient contrivances.
Hilariously it’s both my birthday this past weekend and my wife gave me a Blu Ray copy of the Alien anthology.
Hmmm yeah.
Excuse me while i am calling the Deathwings to accompany Jared and Commander here.
….hey, Genestealer, Xenomorps, all important is they all die.
The funny thing is that Tactical Dreadnought Armor is far better suited to killing xenomorphs than genestealers, considering that it’s loaded with enough redundancies to resist acid blood and the original xenomorphs lack the comically sharp talons of their amped-up knockoffs.
I’m not a fan of the Unforgiven, but if no other Chapters are available… Well, at least they’re slightly less likely than the Blood Ravens to hoard all the loot.
It shouldn’t be too hard for a Alien to sneak up on one of those big lumbering terminator armors and tear off its helmet. Then we would eventualy have a space marine xenomorph wich sound like fun.
Well that depends on how exactly it would interact with Astrates’ physiology. Would it treat him as a regular human? Or some Predator-like super-human.
Let’s just say the can assimilate the geneseed somehow just to make the story more interesting. Beware the kleptomaniac Blood Raven xenomorphs.
Well, their physiology is somehow immune to Genestealer taint, but since facehuggers just implant the critter in the belly and it mimics the host’s genetics, Astartes might be able to incubate xenomorphs. A chestburster might have a hard time with the fused and hardened ribcage, though, to say nothing of the breastplate outside it.
Those helmets are sealed on; they’re not so easy to “just tear off.” I’m not one for “who would win” arguments, but it would kinda defeat the purpose of environmentally sealed heavy armor if it was easy to remove components.
Regular Armor would be probably much better for fighting against Genestealers. Since they completely ignore armor speed and dexterity would decide the winner. And a Marine can move much better in regular armor.
Aye, but standard Astartes Power Armour just can’t cut it against the background radiation often encountered aboard Space Hulks. Outmaneuvering Genestealers is little use if you’re a fried prune before you encounter them.
*groan* Good one! Now what would be really funny is if they treat the xenomorph like one of the guys, and it works out.
They could hire it as a secretary.
I want this canon
I get that reference.gif … although I haven’t read Sluggy in a while
Actually it wasn’t a reference. I’ve never read that.
The first ten or fifteen years of the archive are worth a read, some month when you don’t have anything else to do, but I fell out of it after that. The plot kudzu just got a little too thick for me, and the laughs a little too rare.
Translated from Xenomorph: “Paperwork? I spit on the name!”
And then acid spit destroys the IRS audit papers.
I’m not sure what the Commander expects is going to happen.
Something unexpected and thoroughly Jared like.
Big fan of your comic, have been keeping up with it for years now. This made me smile ear to ear. Thank you. Keep up the good work.
I just love how you can tell how each of their personalities work on a single scene.
Good call. When your name starts with ‘J’ and occasionally ends in ‘Y’, it’s best to not tempt fate.
Oohhh, when the face hugger shoves that thing down their throats, would it now taste sweet like a Cadbury Egg?
I’m with the Commander on this, please continue.
First time I’ve actively laughed out loud in the middle of a lecture. Good thing my choking laughter sounds like hiccups, or else that could have gotten rather bad rather quickly.
Commander (with his futuristic regeneration and survivability) will have a chest bursting millipede that wants him to play Mom to it.
How to Train Your Xenomorph, starring Jared
I look forward to the debut of Mr. Face.
HOLIDAY FACEHUGGER uses SURPRISE JUMP!
…
JARED has fainted!
If someone could tame a xeno to be a pet it would be Jared. I am envious.
He’d probably get a pretty nice job offer from Weyland Yutani if he managed it.
I think it’d go about as well as his moonlighting gig at Freddy’s.
I wonder how well mr fish would fair against a xenomorph
Maybe the alien that bursts out of his chest will be as much a nerd as he is and it’ll become commander’s new “pet” project.
oh baby. now we get to find out if pokeballs work on xenomorphs. Deoxys is already an alien pokemon, who says these xenos can’t be as well
Xenos… am I the only one who got mental image of Jared Pokeballing Chaos Daemons from Wh40k?
Like the world wasn’t scary enough without Jared leading an army of Xenomorphs…
Now I really want Jared to have a pet Xenomorph from now on… Maybe it could impregnate Kratos? Would be funny to see one bursting out of his chest.
Wolverine would be a better choice since he could easily survive the birth.
The chestburster couldn’t make it past his ribcage, though :P
Kratos killed his way out of hell. At worst, the Commander would scold jared for making Kratos do it again.
Funny enough I just saw a picture of a rabbit right beside an Xenomorph egg and a sweet little facehugger on it right before I read the comic today :D
Coincidence?
https://scontent-amt2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17951572_1625510814133473_7844888963602853304_n.jpg?oh=70ec95ee7818a186963abda3f6c36190&oe=598D67BC
Well, I can see him adding a facehugger to his team. Poison type, right? Knows Acid and all that?
I seen yo remember a direct to vídeo movie about an astronauta yo goes to a Planet where he is THE AAAALIEEEN and there ate xeno puppies. Now i want Jared to have xenopuppies BC having fluffy cute deadly raptores like Princess is Canon here. One can hope, though.
Also, autocorrect in español.
If one of the eggs had already opened, at least we’d know what happened to the Easter Bunny…
Ooooh I want to see a follow up to this.
Jonesey should stay. Everyone knows that in Alien and Predator the main female always survive. Specially if she’s a strong woman, like her.
Leaving this obvious mess is why she’d survive. Then she’d come back, flamethrower in hand, to save B-52. And their cat, Jared. ;)
Damn, I seriously want to see Jared use a face hugger in a trainer battle. It’s move set would be something like (Destiny Bond + Explosion => Rage) ?
Um, isn’t Commander Badass from the space future? Shouldn’t he know this is a catastrophic idea?
Or is he also of the mind that Jared has enough dumb luck with animals that this would somehow work out for him?
Or he’s from such a distant space future that all the Aliens he’s familiar with have been domesticated and he just thinks of these as big, primitive chickens or something.
Ehhh, The commander seems smart enough to research the time he lives in. Take that and the fact that the xenomorphs are “THE ULTIMATE KILLING MACHINE!” I think he’s just got a shite tonne of thermite stashed in his jacket.
He’s gonna tame one and call it Hugie McHugface. I’m 100% sure.