They are so SQUISHY
I think this has made my monday, I’m just going to think about squishy raptors randomly throughout the day and be overjoyed that they exist
Two words: Himalayan Chickens. They have feathered legs and feet. A couple generations of (admittedly unethical) genetic manipulation, and we could turn chickens into neo-raptors. Which wouldbe awesome. Unethical, but awesome.
I couldn’t find Himalayan chickens, either. Just chicken dishes. But… look up Cochins. They are super fluffy. If any breed of chicken has catbird raptor ancestry, it’s them.
And a different study, focused on suppressing a different gene, led to chicken embryos growing teeth.
And they never let them develop long enough to hatch, of course, because there is no justice in this world, and I will never be allowed to have a pet chickenosaur… :..(
No more unethical than everything we already do to chickens.
I mean, heck, technically the species has already undergone tons of genetic manipulation – we have different breeds of chicken, after all, and even when that’s not being done consciously, we still certainly select for the most edible, least difficult to care for birds.
(Also, when are they? Is this a futuristic leisure centre, or some long-abandoned island in the distant past? *Imagines archaeologist digging up discarded velociraptor armour* Now that would make “Jurassic Park V” more interesting)
Hold on a second. Let’s put together some facts. Chuck Goodrich is blonde, the Commander is blonde. Chuck Goodrich can travel through time, the Commander can travel through time. Chuck Goodrich has punched out a dinosaur, and while it has never shown it, look my in the eye and tell me that you don’t think the Commander could punch out a dinosaur if needed. And it has been said in The Adventures of Dr. Mcninja that every universe has a Chuck Goodrich. Maybe…
Funny story, I just made the butterfly blue because it was gonna be a monarch, but all the Velociraptors are warms colours and I was worried orange wouldn’t stand out.
Or is it that one where they travel back in time to kill a(already dying) T-Rex and the dude runs away off the pre-approved path and treads on a butterfly and when they get back someone else has just been made president? Some stupid short story they made me read in high school not sure of the name sound of thunder maybe?
I don’t like to remember the movie I saw an unspecified amount of it once and what I saw had no relation to the old short story that shit always pisses me off
I wish these were in the last Jurassic Park Movie. I would have spent less time rolling my eyes, and more time giggling over adorable killing machines.
Well they were kind of screwed by the science in the latest flick they could either retcon the first three and have scientifically accurate dinosaurs or they could maintain continuity and have the old killing machines 10 year old me new and loved. Obviously they decided not to call BS on their prior works that said bald dinosaurs wouldn’t be too difficult to explain they were spliced with frogs after all and frogs don’t have feathers so that’s obviously a trait inherited from their amphibian forebears
It’s not really a retcon to say “over the course of 20 years the scientists improved their old inaccurate dinosaurs based on decades-old outdated science”. I mean, especially when the plot was flat out “people are bored of our 20 year old outdated dinosaurs so we started splicing new animals into the formula to boost ticket sales”. The movie was like a failed meta-apology for itself.
I see it as a result of product testing. They spat out a proper dinosaur and everyone hated it because they were expecting giant lizards so they were all, “Give the customer what they want.”
Which didn’t actually happen in the movie because their marketing people decided their brand is bald dinos and staked a No Feathers Allowed sign on the lawn. They totally had the opportunity to make everyone happy and replace the Indominus Rex with a T-Rex 2.0 Bird-spliced feathersaur that turns out to be faster and smarter than all their frogosaurs so it gets out and wrecks havoc. Bald dino fans get their bald dinos, feather dino fans get their feather dinos, the whole “Our dinosaurs are boring so we made a new dinosaur that looks exactly like our old dinosaurs but white” thing gets replaced with something more relevant. The rest of the movie would be virtually unchanged.
That would have been brilliant. Or they could have gone with a myriad of other dinosaurs such as: Spinosaurus (was never made known to the public, and they already have one to import from the other island), Gigantosaurus (the name says it all,bigger meaner version of good ol’ Rexy), Carnotaurus (may not be as big, but awesome looking as all hell). Damnit, even a sorta Raptor pack 1.0 versus Raptor pack 2.0 (with 2.0 being the Pratt pack) would have been cool. Even so, I loved that movie.
and it spat a potentially flammable wad of tar? good god, if those things were attached with a pilot light… I don’t really wanna think too much about it, but suffice to say it would have made the JPIV better!
There’s no actual indication they had venom, but if they just added some bombardier beetle DNA, guided the growth of the blister organ to develop in the mouth, we’d have fire-breathing dragonsaurs.
I’d be more excited if I hadn’t been worried Jones was going to lose an arm ever since she lost her armor. Plus it’s been hinted at twice now, so Checkov’s gun is just waiting for the trigger.
okay, I’ve had a question for a very long time in my head, and I’ve not been able to find a definitive answer: even though in the original Jurassic Park the velociraptors were nearly twice as big as they were supposed to be (making them actually utahraptors) were they accurate with the middle toe’s talon size in the movies? like, were they half the size as in the movie, but with the exact same sized now absurdly large claw on their middle toes?
Well, the dinosaurs used for reference in both the film (and the book it’s based on) were a different (but related) species: the Deynonychus. It just fit a little better in the story, I think. As adorable as little dinosaurs are, they wouldn’t be as threatening, so they chose the bigger dinosaur and the most threatening (and recognisable) name.
I don’t think it really matters how fluffy or brightly colored life-size raptors are, if a swarm of them are snacking on your face while you thrash and beg for death.
Somehow I edited out ‘small’. Size doesn’t matter much when the critter in question runs in packs and can jump high enough to slash major blood vessels to put you out of commission.
To borrow a phrase from Dr. McNinja, things are about get Sicknasty.
To borrow a phrase from somewhere else:
IT’S HAPPENING!
to borrow a phrase from a movie GAME OVER MAN GAME OVER
To borrow a phrase from somewhere, SHIT IS HITTING THE FAN
To borrow a phrase from another thing, I AM HERE! KILL ME, KILL ME NOW!
Yes, just yes.
To borrow a phrase from somewhere else: It looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Omg you read beeserker comic
Or he’s seen Airplane!.
All the references.
To borrow a phrase from a dead sorcerer, IT HAS BBBBEEEGGGUUUUUNNNN!!!!
To borrow a phrase from a cartoon, IT’S TIME TO GET SCHWIFTY
To borrow a phrase from a movie: “You magnificent bastard, I read your BOOK!!”
To borrow a phrase from a different cartoon, LET’S GET DANGEROUS!
To butcher a phrase from a movie, THEY CAME TO BE AWESOME AND CHEW BUBBLE GUM, AND THEY JUST RAN OUT OF BUBBLE GUM.
To borrow a phrase from a different cartoon, “Exit, screaming all the way, stage left.”
To borrow another prhase. ” I am gravely disappointed. Again you have made me unleash my dogs of war.”
…though they’re birds in this case.
To borrow a phrase from a different movie, “It’s Turbo Time!”
To borrow a phrase from another comic “IT´S CLUBBERING TIME”
To borrow a phrase from yet another movie, “Hey, laser lips, your mama was a snow blower!”
To borrow a phrase from something completely different, “You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
To borrow a phrase from a movie: “Yippie-Ki-Yay Mother f*ckers”
They are so SQUISHY
I think this has made my monday, I’m just going to think about squishy raptors randomly throughout the day and be overjoyed that they exist
Yeah, they’re squishy alright. Why do you think tank put armor on ’em?
thats not tank, its jet. tank is busy screaming at the ocean
I remember scientists have recently found evidence that Bipedal dinosaurs most likely didn’t have feathers on their legs, just like modern birds.
depends on which modern birds you’re looking at.
YOU ARE RAISING VELOCIRAPTORS?!? THAT’S SO RADICAL!
Umm I mean, so that is where you got your inspiration for Jared’s pigeon knowledge. Jared would be fast friends with Jet and kids, given the chance.
Holy cow your birbs are so pretty.
Man, birds with little fluffy pants are the best.
Can we get a wallpaper of the sushi raptors? I want that to be the first thing I see when I go to write an essay about anything.
Crap, I meant squishy, not sushi. Curse you, autocorrect!
I would also love to see this, they’re so cute!
Two words: Himalayan Chickens. They have feathered legs and feet. A couple generations of (admittedly unethical) genetic manipulation, and we could turn chickens into neo-raptors. Which wouldbe awesome. Unethical, but awesome.
The funny thing is, when I try to google image search Himalayan chickens, lots of chicken curry pops out. That’s making me hungry.
well I found some chicken with feathered legs so here you go.
“unethical”
You mean radical.
I couldn’t find Himalayan chickens, either. Just chicken dishes. But… look up Cochins. They are super fluffy. If any breed of chicken has catbird raptor ancestry, it’s them.
Erm, that’s fatbird raptor. Dang autocorrect…
Scientists have already found out which gens to reactivate to produce chickens with teeth and a long tail bone.
http://www.livescience.com/50802-chicken-embryos-with-dinosaur-snouts-created.html
Same as humans being still able to grow tails and bodily fur…just gens getting reactivated…more or less accidentally.
Chickenosaur
And a different study, focused on suppressing a different gene, led to chicken embryos growing teeth.
And they never let them develop long enough to hatch, of course, because there is no justice in this world, and I will never be allowed to have a pet chickenosaur… :..(
No more unethical than everything we already do to chickens.
I mean, heck, technically the species has already undergone tons of genetic manipulation – we have different breeds of chicken, after all, and even when that’s not being done consciously, we still certainly select for the most edible, least difficult to care for birds.
TO DEFEAT
THE HUN
Glad to see I’m not the only one who automatically finishes “Let’s get down to business” with this phrase every…single…time.
Oh God no. EVERY time. And the internet is in a vast conspiracy to make sure the song never ventures far from my brain.
Must admit to having never seen the movie but I have seen the DBZ Abridged song Parody of it so I sing
TO CONTROL
THE WORLD
You monster. You must now immediately go see Mulan. There is simply no excuse for having never seen that movie.
These raptors might just be one of my favorite things ever
If the comic was just the first panel it’d been enough for me.
I’d totally be down for a desktop background of the first panel.
HINT. HINT.
Could it be….Raptors on Mini-Bikes? Raptors-on Mini-Bikes! RAPTORS ON MINIBIKES!!
To borrow a quote from a few pages ago, ‘I am in no way prepared for that.’
Not just raptors on minibikes. FATRAPTORS on Minibikes
FATBUDGIERAPTORS on minibikes.
Wait.
ARMOREDFATBUDGIERAPTORS on Minibikes.
ARMOREDFATRAINBOWBUDGIERAPTORS on minibikes.
This is the best thing ever.
Holy chicken! Can I get a squisable of that?!
Does that make this “Manly Guys: 5Vs” then?
(Also, when are they? Is this a futuristic leisure centre, or some long-abandoned island in the distant past? *Imagines archaeologist digging up discarded velociraptor armour* Now that would make “Jurassic Park V” more interesting)
Even better…ARMORED raptors on minibikes!
We need King Radical here to approve of this absolutely Radical Development!
Considering all that’s happening over there: Imagine a crossover with Dr. McNinja,
Commander would need to punch another bad guy for trying to destroy the world AND his family because it’s too normal.
Hold on a second. Let’s put together some facts. Chuck Goodrich is blonde, the Commander is blonde. Chuck Goodrich can travel through time, the Commander can travel through time. Chuck Goodrich has punched out a dinosaur, and while it has never shown it, look my in the eye and tell me that you don’t think the Commander could punch out a dinosaur if needed. And it has been said in The Adventures of Dr. Mcninja that every universe has a Chuck Goodrich. Maybe…
Those facts are startling, troubling and utterly awesome. We need to get Chuck Goodrich to punch Chuck Goodrich FOR THE SAKE OF THE WORLD!!
Shame. We already used him to stop King Radical’s previous plot, then he got killed in the past by King Radical.
Don’t let them eat the blue butterfly!
She’s important.
Wait, is it the Life is Strange blue butterfly, the MGSV blue butterfly, or the Until Dawn blue butterfly?
2015: videogame year of the blue butterfly.
Funny story, I just made the butterfly blue because it was gonna be a monarch, but all the Velociraptors are warms colours and I was worried orange wouldn’t stand out.
Could be the Persona blue butterfly.
Or is it that one where they travel back in time to kill a(already dying) T-Rex and the dude runs away off the pre-approved path and treads on a butterfly and when they get back someone else has just been made president? Some stupid short story they made me read in high school not sure of the name sound of thunder maybe?
Sound of Thunder, that’s the one. It also had a in name only movie adaptation. I always liked the premise though.
I don’t like to remember the movie I saw an unspecified amount of it once and what I saw had no relation to the old short story that shit always pisses me off
…Oh, that’s good.
It’s the Great Space Butterfly, here to give the Fatbird Raptors its Moon Nectar.
Woooooooo!
…wok wok
…Are you referencing that Japanese Ronald McDonald with your raptor noises today, Coela?
This will obviously be where Jared suddenly interrupts with Mr. Fish and the Fanciest Fat Pigeons.
Because those raptors are /challenging/ his fat pigeons for mastery of all things feathery.
Also, I figure tap dancing fat pigeons on a laser snake is an even fight for mini-bike riding armored raptors. :D
That last sentence: gold. This comic is gold.
To ride is to hunt to hunt is to live. Ride on you Raptor children ride on
Awwwww! Lookit deh widdle squishy waptor baby! Oh you so cute! Yes you are!
Okay, we know the pink one is named Princess. What are the names of the other raptors?
I dub the two orange ones nombles and nombles 2
NO. They are Nombles Prime and Nombles Alpha, after the twins.
The red one up the back is called… Ugh, Victoria? Is that Rock’s ex wife? Named after her cos red.
And the squishy pinky one.
Is called.
Commodore Killington. Kili for short
Commander’s ex is named Madeline.
man missed by a mile. Of course. Mads.
Princess, KissyBoy, PuffPuff, Duke Fluffington, and Agnorak the Devourer of Worlds.
They’re all so squishy and fluffy and I want to smish them all!! (And they’re also probably just as vicious as my cockatiel… who thinks he’s a t-rex)
Anyone else want neon chicken?
Yes
Absolutely!
If nothing, he’s kept those things well-fed. Not sure with what exactly.
there were twenty more raptors when he started. it’s just a fact of raptor life.
Don’t say that. He clearly feeds them a diet of Pedigree™ Kibbles & Bits.
Just kidding, he feeds them locally sourced organic cow flesh.
I need that first panel as a desktop background or something oh my gosh.
me too
I need a combined image of every single comic coela has ever done as my desktop background
First panel = cutest EVER. Wall-pa-per! Wall-pa-per!
ok jared needs one of these raptors asap!
But Fat Pigeon wouldn’t like them. I think Jared would love to get a puffy raptor, but is too considerate of Fat Pigeon’s feelings to get one.
I think Fat Pigeon would try to romance them like he tried with Mr. Fish.
To borrow a quote from a few pages ago, ‘I am in no way prepared for that.’
Are you kidding? I need one!
Poofed up salmon-colored chubby raptor child makes me happy inside.
Fattest raptor is cutest raptor.
I kind of want to see raptors iin for reals parrot colour schemes.
Sulfur crested raptor
Macaw raptor
Loriraptor
budgeraptor
Soo…Where can i get a pink feathered plush raptor dressed as a medieval knight?
Orange fluffraptor obviously never listened to Hiro when he said ‘no eating the butterflies!’ (or something about butterflies)
Once again, I love your glorious fatbird velociraptors
Cue the dramatic music!
So, how much time has passed in the little universe they’re in?
Crom is pleased.
I think we know who’s winning –
Angel’s team: cool base, coconut tv. Pah!
Spider: conference/hotel room. Boooring!
Tank: Being angry, punching things. Are you even trying?
The others: we don’t know. Hardly worth noticing likely.
Ace: Utter glory. Fluffy fatbird armored velociraptors riding minibikes.
Isn’t Jet the owner of the Raptors? Jet it’s the Maitre’d at Spider’s hotel
That’s Ace (at the hotel).
I wish these were in the last Jurassic Park Movie. I would have spent less time rolling my eyes, and more time giggling over adorable killing machines.
Adorable Killing Machines is now the name of my Heavy Metal/Polka band.
I would listen to Adorable Killing Machines based solely on that pitch.
so would I, Ozzie, though I’m a fan of polka.
Well they were kind of screwed by the science in the latest flick they could either retcon the first three and have scientifically accurate dinosaurs or they could maintain continuity and have the old killing machines 10 year old me new and loved. Obviously they decided not to call BS on their prior works that said bald dinosaurs wouldn’t be too difficult to explain they were spliced with frogs after all and frogs don’t have feathers so that’s obviously a trait inherited from their amphibian forebears
It’s not really a retcon to say “over the course of 20 years the scientists improved their old inaccurate dinosaurs based on decades-old outdated science”. I mean, especially when the plot was flat out “people are bored of our 20 year old outdated dinosaurs so we started splicing new animals into the formula to boost ticket sales”. The movie was like a failed meta-apology for itself.
I see it as a result of product testing. They spat out a proper dinosaur and everyone hated it because they were expecting giant lizards so they were all, “Give the customer what they want.”
That was sorta implied right from the start.
I’d love a series looking at scientifically accurate dinosaurs but JP won’t be that series.
Which didn’t actually happen in the movie because their marketing people decided their brand is bald dinos and staked a No Feathers Allowed sign on the lawn. They totally had the opportunity to make everyone happy and replace the Indominus Rex with a T-Rex 2.0 Bird-spliced feathersaur that turns out to be faster and smarter than all their frogosaurs so it gets out and wrecks havoc. Bald dino fans get their bald dinos, feather dino fans get their feather dinos, the whole “Our dinosaurs are boring so we made a new dinosaur that looks exactly like our old dinosaurs but white” thing gets replaced with something more relevant. The rest of the movie would be virtually unchanged.
That would have been brilliant. Or they could have gone with a myriad of other dinosaurs such as: Spinosaurus (was never made known to the public, and they already have one to import from the other island), Gigantosaurus (the name says it all,bigger meaner version of good ol’ Rexy), Carnotaurus (may not be as big, but awesome looking as all hell). Damnit, even a sorta Raptor pack 1.0 versus Raptor pack 2.0 (with 2.0 being the Pratt pack) would have been cool. Even so, I loved that movie.
Or a pack of adult Dilophosauri, the frilly dinos.
The one in JP was a juvenile. They get as long as a shortbus, standing 6 ft tall.
and it spat a potentially flammable wad of tar? good god, if those things were attached with a pilot light… I don’t really wanna think too much about it, but suffice to say it would have made the JPIV better!
There’s no actual indication they had venom, but if they just added some bombardier beetle DNA, guided the growth of the blister organ to develop in the mouth, we’d have fire-breathing dragonsaurs.
I challenge someone with sewing skills to open an Etsy shop and sell fat squishy toothy roosters.
Please. I need this.
Ackbar’s Woolen Raptors
(NOT Fat Squishy Toothy Roosters)
I’d be more excited if I hadn’t been worried Jones was going to lose an arm ever since she lost her armor. Plus it’s been hinted at twice now, so Checkov’s gun is just waiting for the trigger.
reckon Jonesy could rock a futurific prosphetic? She could become a true human swiss pocket knife
it’d likely be nothing but various specialized butchers’ knife blades and a power scrubber to make cleaning her work-station quicker and easier.
SQUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! More Fatbird raptor action! I love these feathery little goof balls! I want a fat bird Raptor Plushie!!!!
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!! -brain explodes from super cuteness uber adorable insane cool overload-
My God, they’re cute.
OMG I love those raptors SO MUCH!!!
I just read your comic, its got some great humor and art style.
oh it is prime time…
Why don’t other media have adorable raptors? Adoraptors. Why don’t we have other adorable dinosaurs? WHY DO YOU HATE US HOLLYWOOD, WHY
Also, if you are looking for something to become merch, plushie raptors!
That’s amazing
Did I ever tell you I named my floofyiest chicken after your raptor Princess. Sadly a fox took my princess away…
Do you think you could ask Jared to bring Mr Fish down here so he could eat the fox.
Him and me could spend the day petting the chickens “Gabby, Lucy, Blue, Boo, and Thing 1 and Thing 2”. and the fattest pigeon can hang out too
Pastel chickens with teeth and kickass armor.
We need more of this wonderful thing.
…also I just got this song out of my head, god damnit.
We must have plushy neon toothyraptors. For real.
I just realised that this strip didnt have a noncolor :o
Wtf I did Imdumb.com as my website url and its porn. How is that even porn
It turns out that its the stupid mcafee filter our school uses, Imdumb.com isnt even a claimed domain.
It’s an acronym, and the meaning is too filthy to repeat on this fine website.
Yay! The Fattest Raptor!
Yes. We need more plushy raptors. And raptor plushies. Great comic as usual.
Raptor pictures so cute your eyes roll back and your spine slides out your anus
Cards against Humanity and Life is strange references in the same commentary board.
I’m happy now :)
Oh god they’re so cute
The raptors are so goddamn cute, it’s too much…
okay, I’ve had a question for a very long time in my head, and I’ve not been able to find a definitive answer: even though in the original Jurassic Park the velociraptors were nearly twice as big as they were supposed to be (making them actually utahraptors) were they accurate with the middle toe’s talon size in the movies? like, were they half the size as in the movie, but with the exact same sized now absurdly large claw on their middle toes?
Well, the dinosaurs used for reference in both the film (and the book it’s based on) were a different (but related) species: the Deynonychus. It just fit a little better in the story, I think. As adorable as little dinosaurs are, they wouldn’t be as threatening, so they chose the bigger dinosaur and the most threatening (and recognisable) name.
I don’t think it really matters how fluffy or brightly colored life-size raptors are, if a swarm of them are snacking on your face while you thrash and beg for death.
Somehow I edited out ‘small’. Size doesn’t matter much when the critter in question runs in packs and can jump high enough to slash major blood vessels to put you out of commission.
Which is why Compsagnathi are the most terrifying dinosaurs, even though they’re chicken-sized.
It would be proportional, of course. And the Utahraptor wasn’t the only big raptor. We also have the megaraptor.
Can I get the first panel as a wallpaper for my computer? Feathery fluff-raptors are adorable and this would make me happy.
Oh, you leaving us in suspense son of a gun.
I like the one that went squish:P
x3 Raptor babbs