Please do not attempt to train fire at home
March 13, 2013
1:39 pm
Anyone can make a fire, but it take a special kind of person to raise a fire with a solid understanding of rules and boundaries.
Manly Guys Doing Manly Things
Updated Mondays or whenever I feel like it
I have never seen anyone stare down a fire before. This is awesome.
Crazy awesome ^^;; WHen i read this strip. i was like: “…Wait… Did Commander just…??” XDDDDDDDD
He really does earn the name “Badass”.
I’ve seen cartoons stare down reflections, but never fire……
I tried, but I just ended up half-blind for a while.
I’ve stared down fire and the sun and now I always these blots of color whenever I close my eyes
Stared down Mewtwo. It JUMPED into the Pokéball. Yes, a standard Pokéball. Got a problem with that? That’s okay, so does Blue.
I the only issue I had with my fire 2as trying to give it w bath the first time I look away its gone
Was not 2as
I read that as “twas” so it’s not really wrong
What about dragons? Can I train my dragon at home?
Yes, but you need to get zoning clearance from your municipal government.
In some states, you may only need the approval of 80% of your neighbors.
Does it count if the dragon eats 20% of them?
Wouldn’t those 80% now be the new 100% if the dragon ate 20% of them?
Yes, but the remaining neighbors might rethink letting you keep a dragon if it’s already eaten 20% of them.
Just… this whole conversation… <3
No joke. That was Abbott and Costello-class material there. I approve.
Guys, guys… you’re forgetting the most important step: You need to give the dragon a life long crippling injury first before trying to train it!
Or just have the dragon cripple everyone who does not agree with you having a dragon.
yeah, jared brained mr. fish for god knows how long and look at him now! :D
Not if you have your dragon eat the 20% that nobody liked, anyway.
Oh man, laughed so hard at this. Fantastic.
Now that´s badass
^Seconded.
Motion carried.
Motion passed!
I shall pass this motion along to the clerks for immediate scribing.
Now we must wait to see if Congress approves.
We’ve got a unanimous decision from the House, and the Senate gave us 2/3rds approval.
The President is expected to sign on the bill. By the end of the month, staring down a fire will legally be considered an act of badassery and any such action will allow for a 24% total tax deduction up to a maximum of $8,000 under the “Badasses for America” act.
perhaps someone should speak with the UN. i can see a potential military application of free-range fire, and i really don’t want to taint the innocence of fire with war.
The UN? Naw, forget those guys. This technique should be the next thing to be beamed out into space. The entire universe deserves to know of this noble act of pure badassery. After all, if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then how flattered would the Commander be to have aliens emulating him?
Jarod better not try this. I wish I was that badass…
Jarod CAN, though, if he finds a Move Relearner to help Mr. Fish remember how to Hydro Pump.
Granted, Mr. Fish will be doing most of the work, but that’s pretty standard.
I don’t know about your fire, but mine would be just as terrified of a Hyper Beam as a Hydro Pump.
Hahaha! this was awesome.
Bad fire, bad! Down, boy! Leave Jared alone!
Is this a new art style, or just not shaded/inked yet? It looks really different than last week’s comic.
It’s not shaded yet. Because I have a life outside of doing this comic, and it’s busy.
I’m not sure how you could possibly take this for not being inked, though.
Because I know nothing about art, and can’t tell the difference between coloring/inking/other stuff artists do. It’s all drawy stuff that looks good when it’s done, but the intermediate steps are a mystery.
Just for future reference, since inked basically just means “has clean line art” if you’re asking if something was inked without knowing what it means it kind of comes across as an insult.
Inking is the outlines, color is the color, shading is the shadows. *insert the more you know*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UV9K95ZFB7c this is a good example, if not the same style of inking that Coal here does.
Then I walk away from this encounter educated, humbled, and apologetic for the inadvertent insult. And knowing is half the battle.
G.I. Joooooooooooooooeeeeeeeee.
Life outside is overrated.
How’s the motorcycle running ? Ever figure out why the ‘reserve’ tank doesn’t seem to work?
+1 for insulting comment
+1 name for Commander’s list of people he needs to kill
(Or go back in time like the Terminator does killing Sarah Conner)
I need to try this. Thanks, Internet!
I tried that once. It did not end well.
I never noticed til now how much Commander’s nose bridge sticks out. D:
I hadn’t either until you mentioned it. Now he looks like Adrien Brody with a second, little nose under his big, first one.
I hadn’t either. Now it can’t be unseen!
Oh no, Canada Guy also has 2 noses!
It looks like a boot to me. With a square toe and a pointy little heel.
A passing teacher gave me an odd look because I read this comic on my phone in the hallway and burst out laughing for like a minute. A+ comic.
I laughed at this far more than I should have. Well done.
That is quite literally the most awesome comic I’ve ever seen.
Only the Commander can keep Fire at bay with nothing more than a stern telling-to.
I hoped he would keep Bay at fire. I think he also hated Transformers…
Damn, that is good. It even knows not to scorch the lawn.
I laughed so hard, that my mom thought I was an idiot laughing while drinking Soda… lol
So the Commander is a firebender, is what you’re saying here.
+5 internets for that reference!
Long ago, the Fire Nation was hellbent on conquering all of the other three nations and all the known world.
Then, everything changed when the Commander attacked.
Then everything changed again when Mr. Fish attacked. With Hydro Pimp.
Hydro Pimp. Holy hell, what an amazing visual I’m getting.
Commander Avatar…. or would that be Avatar Commander? Either way, he would be the greatest Avatar who ever lived. Question, though: which nation would he have come from originally? I would think Earth, because he’s normally very calm. practical and hard to rile, but when he gets worked up you’d better look out!
“Avatar Badass”
Legit as hell!
I would have to say he’s from the water nation since he works for the navy branch of the military. also explains why the free-ranged fire listen to him so well it scared.
As a special kind of person to raise a fire with a solid understanding of rules and boundaries, Commander seems to be a somewhere above Jeong Jeong, who bitterly sees firebending as a burning curse, and below Iroh, who is simply Iroh.
Iroh <3. A great character, though that song in the one episode is very sad. (I assume that whoever knows the series, will know what I mean. And for others it would be a spoiler.)
In the midst of the silliness and awesome fight scenes in that series, that made me cry. They called the song “Little Soldier boy” and it can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVfPyyPM2GQ
What if I told you….
…that Commander is Iroh?
The Commander puts the “B” in “Badass”.
Oh, wait…
Don’t explain the joke…
It was a pun, not a joke, sorry if it was terrible.
This might be the funniest thing you’ve ever drawn. ^.^
Reminds me of an episode of Conan O’Brian when he and Mr.T visit an apple orchard.
and yes, Mr.T can yell apples off a tree.
nice ^-^
i don’t think this has ever been done before lol
respect coalesquid. this. is AWESOME!
And if it behaves reaaaally well, then Commander will give him some kindling as a reward, amirite. :3
That reminds me of Calcifer from HMC.
It’s a crime that there are no recognationary exclamations under the preceding comment. Ghibli <3
You talking about Studio Ghibli’s Calcifer, or the real one as written by Diana Wynne Jones?
I hope it’s the one from Diana Wynne Jone’s novels.
Not one person here will be half that badass…and I think it’s a good thing!
well i once yelled ice off my roof…it was a little badass
I always marvel at how Commander always has a 5 o’ clock shadow, i mean yeah there was that incident with the nomura, but Im so jealous of his manly sideburn/chops! Very well done! :D
Some guys really are like that. Shave, and it’ll be back within hours, but needing at least a week to look like something OTHER than a 5’oclock shadow.
http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/this-is-more-of-a-psa-than-a-joke-really
Exhibit A for why Commander Badass is called Commander Badass.
Truly, he is the Jesus of Brandaoism.
Pretty sure Marlon Brando is the Jesus of Brandoism.
Unless Marlon is the Father, Commander is the Son, and… who’d be the Holy Ghost, then?
Clint Eastwood.
@ Saint: You sir, are made of win.
Mr. Laserfish.
My money’s on either Kratos or Duke.
Major departure from your usual style of humor, but I’m totally okay with that.
Manly man right there. Stay fire, stay.
Just thought you might want to know, the jpg files still say 2012 rather than 2013.
I tried training fire on my grandparents wall when I was 4. My grandfather had to beat it out with a shoe. Guess he’s not as good as the Commander
Wait a tic, that grass isn’t even singed! Using the anti-entropic field generator from your time machine is cheating, commander. I am disappointed in you.
What if I told you that he trained the field generator too?
Coela, I’ve known this for a long while, but this particular comic just makes me have to say, I love you. You’re so damned awesome. And you’re Canadian. And you know what Newfies are. And you have the motivation to actually do something. And you can draw.
Goddamn it, why are all the dream girls so much better than I am?
My question is always…. Why are the dream girls always straight and never single? (Admittedly I’m pretty sure guys ask that question about me, which just proves that dream girls will never be your orientation and will always have a partner, which might be part of what makes us/them dream girls. Very meta.)
Why are they never single? Because such awesomeness never goes unnoticed. Duh.
I feel like this was a followup to a previous joke, but I don’t really want to reread all of MGDMT to find it, anyone?
I feel like this was a followup to a previous joke, but I don’t really want to reread all of MGDMT to find it, anyone?
I don’t wanna read the archives right now either, but I don’t believe so. I think this is just a standalone.
I want a zoom-in of the sixth panel.
The manly version of organic products.
Free range fire, free range volcanos, free range trucks.
Yeah, you know you want em.
lkh;dkgklfgkldfhglkfndmgndfmgn omfg
One of the best.
If he can control fire that well, no wonder his children are so well behaved.
Oh my God. That’s it – the Commander is a force of nature, plain and simple.
Honestly I think this comic’s my favorite, as its humor is just my speed. Just… one of those absurd things that catches you exactly the right way.
Earth, Wind, Water and Commander. He made fire his bitch already it lost its place. u.u
I love that pissed expression the Commander has in the last pannel.
Aaaaand this makes my 5:30 in the morning. G’Night and thanks for the comic.
Oh man, that was great. He is truly Commander Badass. Nip that insubordinate shit right in the bud.
Allright. Ill admit it. that. was. awesome. Fire knows its place around him.
Now that’s manly.
What does he do when it rains?
He tells the owner of the raincloud that if he catches it pissing in his yard one more time, he’ll mess it up so bad it will rain up.
Now I want to see what he does when someone else’s fire wanders onto his property.
“Damn hooligan fires, get offa my lawn!!”
I feel like he’d keep his kids in line if they ever got out of hand in a similar manner.
Or a pet Roomba.
Specifically, this Roomba.
http://www.questionablecontent.net/comics/1557.png
Too bad his Roomba met Kratos.
Commander Badass, so immensely badass that he can ORDER a fire to behave….. AWESOME!
That is awesome. I laughed out loud, and this is one of the best pages you have ever made.
And, am I the only one who thinks this sounds like a Chuck Norris joke?
Do not bring that golden calf shit into this comment section.
Commander Badass tells Chuck Norris to behave – and he does.
Who wants to make a joke about a guy who’s scared of Jared’s fish?
I saw Chuck Norris stop a chainsaw with his bare hand, so, sure why not?
Training fire………LIKE A BAWSS!
Commander badass’s starter to choose was: blade of grass, small ember, spittle. Not surprisingly Fire were the kids babysitter before Jared came along.
Now it has to babysit him as well.
He has train fire. Neat trick. Is it just for show? Or does he use it to cook or some such?
I’m sure its his way of home security when he is off at work or saving the world.
Manliest thing I’ve heard all year!
Hey fire is close from being considered living. So it /could/ be trained >_>;
Sliders had a living fire entity.
……WHAT IS THIS? WHAT AM I DOING WITH THIS? WHAT IS MY LIFE?
This is just ludicrous…I mean everything I’ve seen on this comic, and, this is probably the most ridicules thing. I’ve seen the one with The Canadian guy in the canoe, and I was thinking “Yeah I can accept that.” Then this happened and I’m just…I’m gonna take a nap and try to comprehend this.
Remember. It takes a manly man to accept the things around him and be open minded. Might help to chug a beer back and ponder the infinite mysteries around oneself.
This reminded me of one of Fonzie’s finest moments.
Here’s the link, if anyone’s curious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQkntcq0jBI
Huh. Last time I saw Jones, she was…feeling dull at the lack of play. Hoping whatever caused that frustration has subsided.
(Yes, the comics are worthwhile. But that’s nothing new.)
Now when my cousin comes home and I hear the science teacher has done the experiment, “Is Fire alive or not?” I’ll send him back into class with this printed out and have him tell her, “Explain this then?”
Fuck yeah. xD
Someday it will be all grown up… a big forest fire…. he’ll be so proud!
we are officially done with chuck norris
there is a new sheriff in town
by the name of badass, commander badass
I just wanted to say holy crud! I love Commander’s coloring. The slightly tan looking skin with the blond hair and blue eyes? Oh my….
Been reading since about last August. Love the comic!
My friend was talking about her bro in Japan going to the movies. They play the dub and the original, so you hear it in English and Japanese.
We were talking about the hilarity of hearing high-pitched Asian chatter coming from Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Just thought I’d share that nugget with you, as I about fell off the couch when I did the same with my version of Commander’s voice..
This comic makes me so very happy. You have brought a beautiful thing into existence, dear Coelasquid! XD XD XD
*Sigh*
There are reasons we have leash laws, Captain!
It’s for the fire’s safety, just as much as for everyone else.
God, I’m sick of all the bad-ass people I know who don’t tie their pets up properly.
Training is no substitute for proper safety.
Hey Coela, I’m going to ask a favor, and I kinda hope you’ll do it, but if you don’t, thats cool. I was hoping that Commander Badass could perhaps go to the red cross and donate platelets? It takes 3 hours or so to do so, and you can’t move at all while they stick two needles inside your arms. Worse, the platelets go bad and die within eight days and the red cross always needs them. I think it is a badass thing to donate them, maybe Commander would do it, or take the Manly Guys to go do it?
Besides, you get free cookies and apple juice when its done.
probably a bad idea to read this right before an important phone call.
It took me about five minutes to get up out of the puddle of laughter I’d melted into.
Some men just want to see the world burn respectfully.
I laughed so hard…..
I laughed so hard. xD
Voice-actvated asbestos shielding: plausible.
This! This made my day SO much better.
Okay, for some reason I’m seeing a daydream of The Commander, Canada Guy and Jared doing the intro for “Two and a Half Men”, with Jared doing Ashton’s lines.
Is this another made-up tale he’s telling Jonesy or is this for real?
I commend you. This is by far one of the most randomly funny things I’ve seen in a while. Thank you.
Any guy can tame a lion, takes a special kinda man to tame a chemical reaction.
Okay I was watching X-Men the Animates Series on Youtube and now i’m imagining Jonesy with Rogue’s voice. Not sure if I like that.
As long as she doesn’t scream it’ll be fine.
This is beautiful, lmao
That. Is. So. Badass.
Commander used “Icy Glare”
It’s Super Effective!
Does this mean a housefire is like a housecat?
burning your lawn respectfully is a manly alternative to mowing!
Is it a bad thing that I imagine the fire whimpering like a chastised dog while it pulls back?
I have this image in my head of Commander taking his fire for a walk.
OH MY GOD. CB wins everything ever. That is the new definition of Badass.
It’s comics like this that make me certain that you’re listening in on my life, on my conversations. Or worse, that you’re one of my friends and you haven’t ‘fessed up to the gang.
Look, I wasn’t trying to hurt him. He was sitting next to the guy I was trying to set on fire, and the fire had other ideas.
I’m a little late to the party, so sorry if I’m repeating something somebody else said here.
*ahem*
Is…is the Commander a firebender?
In the two years I’ve been following this comic, this is probably the best oneshot joke you’ve written. Nice job!
And that, boys and girls, is why he’s Commander Badass.
This is, by far and away, short of the DA:I comics my favorite strip ever. Right up there with Mr. Fish learning the Hyper Beam.
Nothing can compare to LaserFish. NOTHING.
Wait. I felt like I’ve read this one before.
Ooh! How on Earth did I manage to forget about this class of joke?