The guest comic you’ve been waiting for
January 30, 2012
12:00 am
I know it’s a dirty trick to pull something like last week’s comic then leave you all hanging, but when my broest of bros, Emily Smith of Gestalt Comics (go bug your local shop to order some of their stuff in) offered to do a guest strip and I was not going to turn down free stuff from a radcore comicsmith of her caliber. She got tied up with for real professional comic work, and that’s why the strip ended up being a little late, but I think it’s worth the wait.
Thanks again Emily!
…Smells like detergent and pain…
And now I crave vegemite.
We’ve run out of Vegemite D:
Good thing the drop-bear populace is low in my area
But I thought they only attacked tourists? Drop-bears should be irrelevant to you D:
Don’t ever think that for a second. The bastards don’t care whose arm they much on..
I miss it somethin’ terrible. Food allergies suck. :|
To show how much we Australians love our beer, we created Vegemite, which is virtually spreadable beer, or at least tastes like it. OH GOD ALL THAT YEAST!!!
Mind you, catch one of those little bastards and they make a good barbecue!
amen!
How is Jared not severely disfigured yet? I mean, the commander can’t have that good health insurance in this day and age (unless he backported nondescript space future health insurance).
A few of those manly men must have access to a healing unit. It looks a lot like the cryogenic tubes from Futurama so accidents happened but overall it helps people like commander not die from wounds and people like Jared keep their face.
Not-ah you say? Count how many manly men you’ve seen who have access to a healing tube, balm, or healing hams from a trash can? It totally adds up. Maybe not the hams.
Mmm… delicious and revitalizing trashbin hams.
Maybe it’s ’cause he’s from Pokemon? Ash gets electrocuted and burned and stuff all the time but he doesn’t scar.
Simple, they have Roland from Borderlands shoot them better.
As an Australian, i endorse this comic. Furthermore, i still inflict this upon exchange students at uni to this day.
Australia: Where everything can and will try to kill you the first chance it gets…including the Australians themselves.
Praise whatever god or ideal you may worship that Australia doesn’t have Sandbox trees.
I worship a well maintained, sharpened machete and a loaded, oiled gun.
Hope that machete is real sharp. The sandbox tree is upwards of 100 feet tall, completely covered in thousands of spikes, completely poisonous, and bares fruit that are nature’s answer to the hand grenade.
We do have the Stinging Tree though:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dendrocnide_moroides
don’t forget the hoop snakes, as well!
As an Australian, we’re bred to be resistant to the 99.9% of animals here that keep trying to kill us on a daily basis.
The final 0.1% is drop bears and for that we keep a rifle and a boomerang on hand at all times. We offered one to Kelly when she dropped by for Wai-Con 2012, but the Commander had everything covered. :D
Could you put a link to the full sizew image? I smell of a bigger resolution here.
I’m going to believe(for sake of stupid fan canon) Commander’s Bishitios didn’t flare up this week, or Saxton Hale sold him some Bish-b-gone cream+with free Bish-b-gone headwear. good thing the Dr. McNinja is dead or Saxton would be to busy fighting him to cure Commander of his illness and this comic would never happen.
Or this happened before hand and it’s a flash back.
Or we were all waiting so eagerly for plot that we got filler, that we were ….
…. (drumroll) ….
…. (wait 4 it) ….
Bishounen Jumped.
Ugh
ಠ_ಠ
_____
͟͟͟͟ ͟ಠ__ಠ don’thateboard.
Ha my daughter loves that magazine
Yeah i know of it, but i’ve never read it. I tried to get into naruto, but i was really put off by all the filler. That and sakura being a helpless girl for about oh, 252 episodes before she was actually useful on her own. So thats how i’m familiar with random anime / comic episodes jumping in and out of order or that don’t actually exist in the canon. Been a lot of that lately, and not just here.
（╯°□°）╯ /(.□.\)
Well, this is a guest comic after all…
Or maybe they are in Australia where even Bishounen are manly. Take a look at how manly Commander Badass’ lady friend appears in this comic.
If she is looking manly, so will the males.
I love their expressions!
Koalas are not Bears. But besides that it’s very good
Luckily that’s not a Koala, it’s a drop bear.
What’s it like in your world without humor?
Those things are real, that or some local dropped on me from a tree
Wait… This post is dated at January 30th…
Time travel is real!
I always date the jpgs to the Monday so I can track them easier.
HAH!
Come to Australia! You might accidentally get killed! ((look up “come to Australia” by the Scared Weird Little Guys on Youtube to hear the song!))
also, there’s Men At Work’s Land Down Under:
“Do you come from a land down under? …You better run, you better take cover”
(As crazy as that song is I’ll always love it.)
This is actually an accurate depiction of what it’s like to live in Australia.
Fortunately, the drop-bear population has dropped significantly with the rise in number of poisonous spiders.
That’s even worse. Drop-spiders? I hate spiders.
the real reason, and I ain’t makin’ this up, that there aren’t many snakes in australia, is that they were eaten by most of the spiders.
he’s right you know. the top most poisonous species of spiders in the world all live in Australia.
Actually, the most poisonous spider is from Brazil, your funnel web is a close second.
Now, what you really need to worry about are Rippers. Vicious, bipedal mammals with claws the size of Lee Redmond’s fingernails.
And custom Vehicles of destruction. But there’s only like, two of those.
Now I have that stupid Men At Work song in my head. >_<
there is no stupid men at work song.
The 80’s called. They want their silly pop music back.
No, the 80’s called and said they DON”T want that silly 80 song back. They said they have plenty. They also said we could keep “Never Gonna Give You Up” and but they want to keep “Relax”. i think that’s fair.
I love you for that retort :) (youtubes frankie goes to hollywood, relaxes)
I feel gloriously happy that I watched Road Warrior last week, and thus understand that reference~
I’m eating Vegemite right now.
I have never had it. Please describe what it tastes like in the manliness way possible.
Vegemite tastes like manliness. And you can quote me on that.
So it tastes like sweat and dirt?
Someone likes their men dirty.
Yes. Yes it does.
I don’t think I want to try it now.
Take it from a non-aussie, non-brit that’s been exposed to the stuff, if you didn’t grow up with it, you’re not gonna like it.
Yeast paste with Vegetable flavoring says it all…
doesn’t sound too bad. i’d probably try it out. i like all kinds of foods though.
you don’t meet a lot of americans who actually like kim chee, but i do.
You would probably eat “Bachelor Chow” if they made it.
I’ve heard that Marmite is pretty much the same deal, just that you can actually find it north of the equator as opposed to Vegamite, if you’re really feeling risky…
I enjoy it, it’s got a sharp, salty taste like imperial cheese. You just need to remember not to slather it on like peanut butter.
*shrug* perhaps, again, I’m nuts about cheese, but Vegimite / Marmite turned my stomach every time I came into contact with it.
Not trying to deny those who feel the experience is worth the risk, but just letting them know what they’ll probably be in for based on negative past experience.
Plus, everyone who hasn’t tried it ‘knows’ it tastes terrible, so they get what they expect.
Nothing like vegemite and cheese on toast in Winter.
So many people make that mistake.
The horror…the horror…
Jared you are a pokemon trainer you should expect this.
What part of “worst pokemon trainer” didn’t you understand!
Besides, he’s out of master balls.
I am saddened by the lack of “Saxon” Hale murdering a crowd of hippies, but a koala about to devour Jared is more than enough to compensate. :3
(Did I call that right? She meant Saxton Hale?)
Don’t worry surely saxton will come out of nowhere screaming his own name and will beat those evil little monsters, with only one hand
I sure wish this was sized right, but…
OH GOD IT SMELLS LIKE DETERGENT AND PAIN!
If you right-click and view the image you can see the full size
Heh, I’ve been telling people about drop bears for years. First time I’ve seen it in a comic though :D
Then clearly you need to read Nextwave.
EVERYONE needs to read Nextwave. I was hoping I wasn’t the only one who thought of it reading through this.
In the first panel I thought it said Saxton. I wouldn’t mind seeing a Saxton Hale comic. You are in Australia after all :P
I’m not usually one to be negative but… it’s truly an awful comic. The sizing is so bad I’ve got to right-click view image to read it and even then it’s too big, Jared’s like a full foot taller than he should be, “yer takin’ the’she’ll”? WTF is that? Plus it’s just totally unfunny.
The resizing is my fault, she sent me the full-res version and it being the middle of the night, I just put it up without thinking. As for the joke, well, drop bears are an Australian in-joke so maybe it’s cultural.
Oi. Is every comic funny every time? Is there such thing as a perfect comic? Should every comic appeal to every person?
The answers should be “no.” If you answered “yes” to any of the questions, please DIAF. This is the Interbutts, we doesn’t afraid of anything.
That’s a stupid attitude. A comic doesn’t need to be perfect to be entertaining. This comic is ugly, awkwardly-written, and makes a very lazy attempt at humour.
Agreed. I learn more everyday because of a surprisingly large amount of canadian based art, about other cultures. And I’m lovin’ every minute of it.
Guess i don’t fit the stereotypical American, awww.
Damnit, i was replying to McClaud. not Arcade Gannondorf. If aussies have spiders anywhere near those bizarre sand spider things in the middle east i feel bad for the snakes. Those at least, we DO have here. I’ve actually eaten rattlesnake, it’s pretty good.
“She’ll be right” is an Aussie term for “it’ll be okay”: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=she%27ll+be+right
Also, drop bears, for the un-initiated: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drop_bear
I thought it was put together quite well, myself.
Even though I had to look up drop bets they are pretty self explanatory and freaky battle flashback plus Jared pain equals funny in my book
Ditto.
Hmm, free comic is free. Most guest comics are not going to be up to the same standard as the regular ones, but this one was quite humorous and I am not even Australian.
Ah, Jared, how I love thee. I just want to say, Coela, that he’s one of my favorite comic characters of all time. I feel that being his friend in real life would be somewhat hazerdous to my health, though, as he seems to attract a large variety of toothy creatures of various unfriendly dispositions…
Cameo of Sylvester Stallone in panel 4.
That commander’s pose on the second panel shows that he is still recovering from the “Bishounen Infection”.
This was literally the perfect opportunity for a Saxton Hale comic, but we got a crappy drop bear joke instead.
I like the crappy drop bear joke, reminds me of living there, and every living thing (and some of the rocks) trying to kill me
Saxton Hale could kill all of those things in a single blow. He’s like Chuck Norris, except funny and not a homophobic evangelical retard.
So essentially he’s Chuck Norris, only better? Chuck is a goofy looking dude anyways.
In Chuck Norris’s defense, his real first name is Carlos.
Noooo. The system ate my [/irrelevant!] tag. My joke is less obvious now!
Also she has explained multiple times that Saxton Hale will not be appearing since he IS an over the top machismo parody already. I’m assuming the guest comics sort of follow the same logic/rules.
Besides drop bears are hilarious.
Wait was worth it. Thank you, Emily Smith!
You are evil. EVIL
This reminds me of a mate of mine his in the Australian army and we have the Americans train with us. Anyway when your in a new area your given an environmental review by your C.O. So there going through all the stuff that can kill you, so there told about the snakes, spiders, insects, millipedes and such and it rounded about kangaroos talking about how they can and will kill people.
This ends with one of the Americans soldiers say “Is there anything is this god damn country that won’t kill you?” Later was handling a poisonous millipede because all this had to be a joke no where is that dangerous and hey were playing a joke on him. Australia is no joke >:|
http://www.cracked.com/funny-163-australia/
Oz Oz Oz…
That scared the crap out of me, and it didn’t even mention the poisonous sea snakes. I cannot find it right now, but years ago watching a national geographic with jacques coustoe (sp) they had found a very tiny aquatic snake that was friendly, but if it ever bit you, its venom was so potent you had about 7 seconds to live. It was a tiny little snake that lived around coral i think, may not have been australian.
The Sea Kraits? Some said to be more potent than any land snakes? And the bite is so painless that it could go completely unnoticed due to the tiny teeth?
Don’t mess with our animals.
They mean business.
No Oi Oi Oi for me :(
Has nothing on the people, I hope this thing doesn’t have a profanity filter. Working up north in a small town, when I say small I mean tiny, town of 300 surrounding shire of 300. My uncle, his mate and myself are heading back into town after a lot of grog at a mates place. So Brad turns off the lights to the Vehicle keeps rolling along at a normal speed, I thought nothing of this people are a bit mad up here at the best of times trying to hit a Roo or something. Until he turns his lights on, on high beam… There is a camper van in front of us and Brad starts tooting on the horn this about 3a.m I am starting to sober very quickly. He gets out of the Ute and keeps blaring on the horn “Mad dog you fuckin’ cunt you get out here right now so I beat the shit out of you.” My uncle finds this hilarious. Brad now brandishes a spanner and starts hitting the camper van and continuing his colourful various ways that he is asking Mad Dog to come out and fight him.
This ended after somewhere between 10 and 15 minutes later and we drove off. Apparently, Mad Dog Maddigan had threaten my uncle at some point in time, Brad does not like Mad Dog at the best of times so apparently this made him one could say somewhat angry. Mad Dog did not come into town for a month, as his name may suggest he was not a wonderful fellow, so he had made a few enemies more than a few with guns and he was unsure who it was that went out there night so, he decided the best be was to stay low. His mad not stupid. One of my many stories from when I lived up in North Queensland.
Something seems wrong with the site… loads of spam-like links below the comic… is this normal?
Forgot to post the image with the weird links
http://i.imgur.com/CbB6j.jpg
I don’t get that at all. You may want to run some anti-virus/malware dude. Also i tell all my friends, NEVER EVER USE A TOOLBAR OF ANY KIND.
I cannot thank you enough for capping that :) Just what I needed!
As an Australian I find this both hilarious and informative.
>Nextwave reference
I LOVE YOU ALL
Wait, who told you the drop bear secret… I knew that would get out one day.
You know you’ve read too much manga when you start reading web comics starting in the upper right-hand corner.
I am deppressd by the not seeing of third installment of story, but I can see the humor in tis and that is okay.
Now I will cry in corner.
Sorry, you’re in a round room.
I think that jokes so old my bad puns grew out of its dust.
why must fate bestow upon me such hardships?
And this is why I carry a Backburner whenever I visit Australia.
i prefer having a Phlostingator and a Force A nature. nothing like burning a deer and then sending it FLYING BACKWARDS into oblivion.
Pretty much everything here is Aussie can kill you, we’re manly like that :)
Even the women are manly: in Darwin, a not-insignificant number of teenage girls finish school on a friday arvo and jump in the back of a ute to go pig-hunting.
Out of all people, Jared shouldn’t dismiss drop bears. He IS a pokemon trainer after.
A shitty one according to KANTO standards, but he does get results.
Wow….The first thing I thought of was that Jerrod should wear a pointy hat…Might save the skinny little guy.
I love this guest art. Very worth a brief bishie break.
Personally I am disappointed. I waited nearly two weeks for the continuation of the story only to have a random guest comic pop into existence. Maybe if this happened immediately before or after the first part of the story I wouldn’t feel this way but meh.
Then comes up morality of complaining over a free comic series yadda yadda.
When it said “Saxon” I initially read “Saxton” as in Saxton Hale from TF2.
Sydney!? But… didn’t you come to Perth? >_<!
I live in the Blue Mountains, I remember those days. So many good friends lost to those bastard drop bears.
Yes, Saxton Hale reference FOR THE WIN!
Oh, darn it, that says “Saxon”…
At once I’m glad i reread that, but also quite embarrassed. Pardon me.
Anyone else notice the MASSIVE blocks of spam-links that appear on some pages just above the blog post?