The one in which Rain is Glinda
July 30, 2012
12:00 am
Commander realizes that his “punch it until I’m normal again” plan wasn’t as rational as maybe it could have been.
This is a completely shameless plug, but ComicsAlliance is taking nominees for a “sexiest comic dudes” article they’re writing (note, not a contest, you can put in like eight names) so if you see this before August 6th you can totally namedrop maybe somebody’s everyone’s favourite time-travelling single dad Space SEAL. If, y’know, you wanted to.
…Damn that is some gorgeous inking. I’m kind of glad to have seen this in black and white first for that reason.
Laughing so hard at Advent Childrening and Dissidiaing oneself. I shouldn’t laugh so hard in work, dammit.
Yea, I gotta go with Sef on this. You can’t keep the pretty boy villains dead in Square games!
Those cracked up me too. Anything can be made into a verb, anything!
True, but i think it only sounds cool in English.
It might have been a reference to square spinning off or sequeling things allowing dead villains to return.
I think it’s just that every time SE release another game, Gackt gets to dress up in a different set of improbable clothes, call himself [new character] and collect another cheque.
Agree. Made my day! XDDDDDDDDD
Hey, Squid-tan. Just a letter from your fans: Ever think a topic of Commander talks about Muslim? Well, it’s because it’s Ramadan & it’s a fasting month (FYI, i’m a Muslim too). Let’s make a peaceful topic about it, please, please? ^_^
I was actually thinking of doing a Ramadan-themed comic involving Commander casually assuming Ganon is Muslim (like, Ganon wonders why they didn’t ask him out for lunch, Commander says he thought it would be rude to tempt him to break his fast, some exchange like that) because he doesn’t eat pork and Ganon explaining that he worships old Hylian Gods, he just doesn’t eat pork because he turns into a giant pig and it would be weird. I just wasn’t sure if it would carry implications of ignorance that wouldn’t sit well with readers (Like they would read it more as “Commander makes the assumption because he generalizes brown people” than the intended “Commander makes the assumption because Ganondorf isn’t eating pork and the Gerudos have enough Islamic influence in their design to make it a reasonable error”)
The guy who is probably my best friend in SoCal is Muslim (and presently dutifully fasting), so I can can guarantee I would only want to do a Ramadan comic if I could make sure it was tastefully handled.
I think the people here are smart enough to realize that the Gerudo have islamic themed art and that’s what you would have been referencing. Heck I saw someone complaining recently about the omission of the islamic references amongst the Gerudo in the new versions of Zelda: OoT. Well I suppose that means the younger readers wouldn’t get it just because they removed it, but the older ones would.
Hell, I wouldn’t have known that without reading your comment. I grew up without Zelda *sniff* . I wouldn’t make any assumptions about the shared knowledge base of MGDMT’s reader base, because you never can tell where people (like me) will have random gaps…
*Applause* Thank you for your kind words, & yeah, it’s a sensitive topic. So sensitive to the point that, as you said, “tastefully handled” ^_^ I’ll be waiting for your next story.
Happy Ramadan fasting for my fellow Muslims. Peace~ m(_ _)m
I like the combination of ‘eating pig’ and ‘handle it tastefully’ :)
I’d be disappointed if it was “tastefully handled”.
Feathers are meant to be ruffled.
So, what now? C.B. goes to the future (again) to convince the large action-figure companies to return him to his old state? Mr Fish will learn to control his inner anger and thus control his hyper beams? Hijinks ensue?
I dunno…Gackt knew C.B.’s serial number…I’m thinking he was sent back to “fix” C.B.
Nah, Commander Badass must have been well known enough to own a Wiki page that shows everything he has done and the tidbits like code number and personal interests.
I hope they get rid of that pansy pretty boy virus thingy soon… I miss the manliness!
Seconded, I want the Commander’s epic sideburns back!
Dat sneer :)
Dat ass… :D
Dat chest hair ~
Or the lack of it, nowadays :P
I hope the commander gets cured soon as well, otherwise the title will need to be changed to Unmanly Guys Doing Manly Things and no one wants that to happen >.<
The world needs the old commander again! Go, start looking for an antidote! Quickly! Quickly, dude!!
Oh shit. Why didn’t they just use a “cure disease” potion? That’s almost as bad as that time Aris died and I had like 99 phoenix downs in my pants.
I think Pheonix Down and Ressurection spells are really more like extremely high-powered Heal spells, and they don’t really work if the subject has already died.
At least I’m guessing that’s the case, since logic and I watched Slayers.
Maybe that’s why it didn’t work!
“Hey Aeris, I have a Phoenix Down! Reach into my pocket!”
“Not falling for that.”
Jared, you’re the medic! Shouldn’t you have at least one ether or elixir there?
Then again, maybe the reason Mr. Fish kept lasering was because Jared kept spraying him with all the ethers.
Well that was what I was thinking when the laser wouldn’t stop
I laughed so hard when Jared said, “I think he’s out of lasers now”. And then when I finally managed to stop laughing, there was the “he’ll Advent Children or Dissidia himself back into the spotlight again” and I laughed again.
Best comic ever? Quite possibly.
But punching jerks always helps!
I mean, it helps me.
Well, theoretically. Bit too wimpy to actually.. Anyway, my point is, this is impossible!
It’s cathartic!
YOU’RE a cathartic! *punch*
Ur mom’s cathartic
*punches my mother*
Wait, what are you all looking at? Did I do it wrong?
… aw…
D:< My mother isn't Cathartic, she's Protestant!
My mother is a saint.
My mother sent a catheter … mom, stop bringing work home…
Hey dad… where’d you get that catheter?
January 23rd, 2012. Commander’s face gets ruined. Six months later. Face still ruined.
I don’t mind long story arcs, nor do I mind weekly updates, but ugh. SIx more weeks… :D
Oh, and inb4 fanboy defense sqaud “IT’S HER COMIC, GET CANCER,” I’m only vexed because I loved the old commander so much in the first place. I even miss Jared’s stubble.
And of course it goes without saying that “out of lasers” and “Advent Children’d” are comic gold.
Just going to note that “IT’S HER COMIC, GET CANCER” is right up there in the ranks of comedy gold.
But yeah, the tease lasts a while. I’m ok with it, since I have other comics (Erfworld’s time-delay because of artist-death-in-the-family-stuff was terrible all around, but it was pretty slow before that anyway…), and this one has a gag a week that’s just great~
Well, it’s usually best we realise violence isn’t the solution before using eyewear to rip some guy/mutated-ball-o-meat’s throat out.
… But that guy was an arsehole; so let’s just mark this one up to personal growth and move on.
But violence can be cathartic, and that is what muto-Commander needs right now!
Considering how long Mr Fish was lasering…and how much base PP Hyper beam has… I can see only one solution. Rainbots combined with jiffy pop creates PP UP!
…oh snap, that explains so much. That must be why you can’t buy that stuff anywhere in the stores!
what creates PP max then? Rainbots and popcorn that doesn’t taste like horse feces?
PPMax= Rainbots+Jiffy Pop+Blue slimes+Chimera. With a dash of Pikachu.
Wait a minute, violence WASN’T the answer?!
I feel like I’ve just discovered my entire life’s work has been a failure.
You and Micheal Bay both
Well, to be fair, Michael Bay still has fart jokes to drive him onward.
And explosions
And titties. And Giant robots.
AND GIANT EXPLODING ROBOT TITTIES!
IN 3-D!
Who fart.
“Michael Bay still has fart jokes to drive him onward.”
Pffft. That works on multiple levels and provides the most awesome mental image.
It’s even better if he passes a bar with people smoking out front. MICHAEL BAY!!!
Upvote.
“He always does”
Foreshadowing a future sequel story arc! Huzzah!
He has no excuse for his poorly thought out plan he had 6 months to think of a new one.
But it was such a solid plan!
It’s always worked before, why should he have expected this time to be any different?
Of course it was solid! It was were-whatever theory! Kill the lead bastard and uncurse everyone!
oh yeah i totally forgot about the whole werewolf motif… In my defense that was like 6 months ago.
RE: DMV: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGjab76TJ3c
Thank you for that.
Loved the comic! Seeing more of Commandeer B and Jared and Mr Fish is always a joy. :D
One utterly pedantic nitpick, stemming from my compulsion regarding spelling: in panel nine, it should be “disintegrated”.
There is no problem that cannot be solved by finding the right prettyboy and beating them up. Obviously, Gackt wasn’t the right prettyboy.
Then is the right prettyboy Ghirahim, by any chance?
What’s a Ghirahim?
Evil demon sword that spends most of his time as a flamboyantly homosexual prettyboy from Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (the Master Sword’s evil twin).
Such a missed opportunity, that they didn’t ever show him giving Demon King Demise overly-obvious tutorials the way the Master Sword’s personification Fi gave Link, but with thinly veiled innuendo instead of Fi’s probability obsession…
You mean that plan doesn’t work? Damnit.
Whelp, looks like we’re gunna just have ta’ go back and use Canadian’s DNA to create a cure.
oh hey yeah what does he look like right now?
Justin Bieber.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Damn it that actually stands to reason.
Ah TPIM (is punchline one word?) is one of the few webcomics I love and go back to thank you!
The comic name is Manly Guys Doing Manly Things – MGDMT. At least I think I remember Coelasquid referring to it as such.
That… is what the banner at the top of the site says…
Yeah but the URL is different. Most web comics usually have the name for the URL, so having a different URL to the banner is confusing. When I first came across it I thought it was called The Punchline Is Machismo because of the URL.
What kind of world is it when beating a man to death doesn’t solve any given problem?
To quote Starship Troopers, “It’s an ugly planet! A bugged planet!”
This is unrelated, but I’m wondering why Commander Badass hasn’t met yet Sergeant Cortez from the Timesplitter series, since they’re both Time Marines
Maybe Commander could help the poor Sergeant work on those catch phrases?
Mr. Fish’s face.
Sells.
the
whole
thing.
In Commander’s defense, how many of us would have tried to do the exact same thing? Not necessarily succeeded, mind you, but at least tried.
The genre HAS kind of set a prescient for such behavior.
Ahh, deconstructed and played-with tropes :D fun, aren’t they?
Actually, I had a goldfish once that whenever it got injured, the next day one of the other fish would be dead and it would be healed, so the Commander might have been on to something. On the otherhand, that goldfish also lived for about ten or so years, so it could have just contracted vampirism or something.
…It also had a Russian name for some reason. I’m pretty sure that’s just because the person who named him was Russian, but I still like to think of him as my Russian Vampire Goldfish.
Was it’s name Rasputin, by any chance? Because Rasputin being reincarnated into an immortal goldfish is the most hilarious thought in years.
Best. Goldfish. Ever.
Better then a shiny magicarp.
Although maybe not better then a russian shiny vampire magicarp.
Actually, Advent Children was a very negative reception movie and they aren’t making any more FF7 movies and SE could not get another Dissidia becasue the company had problems trying to secure a 3rd one from the higher ups. At best, Either Gackt is going to Versus XIII himself back (Noctis) or XIII-3 himself back (Caius).
See, this is why the Commander needs an FF character (Like Auron or Lightning) in his manly corporation! He went through all that trouble, and for what!?! Now Gackt is dead for a while, nobody is healed from the Nomura virus and the castle is destroyed along with any information for the Commander to use to heal is buddies!
Commander, I respect you man, but sometimes I have to wonder about your decision making.
Any FF character at the agency would have to fulfill the “badass man”, “pectoral girth”, and “trouble fitting into society after their series” prerequisites – Lightning isn’t a guy and Auron just seems too well-adjusted.
I would counter-offer Jecht for sure, with Garland and Golbez in the “maybe” category… Garland due to the whole “being CHAOS” thing, and Golbez because I haven’t finished The After Years to see what happens to him. Exdeath’s just too focused on VOID, and Barret showed signs of settling down in Advent Children… Steiner’s not the type, Amarant’s undercharacterized but kinda okay, Seifer’s too young and pretty, Basch and Gabranth worked out… Sabin looks like he’ll be fine, Umaro is Umaro, Yang’s perfectly fine with his family, FFX/X-2 Cid’s the leader of the Al Bhed, FFII Guy seems like he’s settling down as well – I think I got all the main-series musclemen.
Barrett?
Seeing Sabin in MGDMT would make my heart soar like eagle.
Isn’t Volt part of the agency?
He is, but he does not talk about is Nomura ties. At all actually. Volt is a closet Nomura character. I was referring to someone who isn’t afraid of being known to have ties with FF and Nomura. But even Volt does not know all of the FF knowledge. Only the basics. Having a deep enough knowledge of the enemy is something that the Commander would say is a required part when fighting the enemy. Going into battle without knowing anything is basically suicide!
I gotta laugh at how when it comes to THE MOST MANLY FF characters you could think of… you got AURON (probably the best pick possible) or Lighting… When a chick is the second most manly character of a franchise… we have a problem…
Yeah, unfortunately that is how it is. After playing so many FF games, you can only find so few manly characters in this franchise with HUNDREDS of people.
(Auron, Lightning, Sabin, Barett, and maybe Golbez) So yeah, your franchise is in trouble if only 5 people can be named off the top of my head that is manly enough for the Commander to feel like they will get along.
I hope you survive your trip to the DMV, Coela.
I never got around to saying it, but that’s a hella sweet bike you got your hands on, I’m so jealous! But it wouldn’t look good in dreary Denmark, where I live..
Ahhh, deconstructing a trope, is there anything more satisfying?
No, except deconstructing more than one trope.
I really had to laugh out loud at the “accidentally disintegrated gackt with fish lasers” part :D I imagine him saying that line like it’s an everyday occurrence^^
The salute in the second panel was amazing.
More like the commander brings Mr Fish with him to the future and demands they change him back or he leaves a certain POed gyrados there to wreak havoc.
well, killing gact will keep him from re-bishonenifying him once he goes back to normal.
i guess mr fish ran out of pp.
Iunno. Still sounds like a pretty reasonable course of action.
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not punching hard enough.
Well, considering who he was fighting, maybe he should have tried Plan B: “Hitting it with a surfboard-sized weapon until I’m normal again.” :)
Eh we all slip up now and then, don’t we, Commander B? It’s why your agency exists after all.
So, Rain, how often does this happen and how many of them are you responsible for?
It seemed like a rational course of action to me.
Yaaaay deconstruction.
“Disintegrated him with fish lasers”
LOVE IT!
I’m laughing my ass off right now!
Daww, poor Mr. Fish is all tuckered out.
I love this story arc. You always do some great writing, but I can has sexy manly Commander plz k thx. I do love me some Commander.
I can’t stop laughing at this page. Everything, the expressions, the joke, the delivery, it’s all great
lies all things can be fixed by punching it !
I don’t understand how it could have failed.
I just don’t get it.
It failed to achieve it’s direct objective, sure, but in this case the means justify the ends. Fish Lasers dude. Fish Lasers.
Also, does this mean it’s now canon that Mr FIsh’s sidekick is a good trainer?
Are… are you making a Jak and Daxter reference? I can’t tell… but it seems like it…
ALSO, WHERE ARE JAK AN DAXTER, They haven’t shown up ONCE in this series? Daxter is VERY manly… and I suppose Jak is too! lol
Ding dong Gackt is dead, the wicked Gackt.
Next thing you know, Rain will be putting ruby slippers on the Commander’s feet.
I got to admit, I did not at one point think, “Wait, how is beating this guy up gonna turn him back to normal?”
It worked for simon I don’t see why it wouldn’t work here
Ill have you know that this comic has gotten me into what can only be described in my mind as the Korean Micheal Jackson (love his work since forever).
And I’m loving even moment of it. Thank you Manly Men :D
I guess the Norma syndrome virus doesn’t work like vamparism where you kill the original and get better.
Those smiles scare me o.o;
Huh, Rain looks relatively manly in this comic, at least more than the rainbots.
I’ve never heard of him before this. Were the bots specifically extra-bishie?
Gackt made them. Extrapolate from there.
I can’t tell if the apostrophe in “bro’s” is a mistake or just some weird splash damage from CB’s accent. I… think… it’s a mistake?
I vote that “bro'” should always have an apostrophe, since it is a contraction.
what do you mean “punch it until its normal again” isn’t a viable option??? i call bullshit!
That killed Gackt? Just what the hell kind of level is that Gyarados? Jesus, Jared is the best trainer ever, he just doesn’t even know.
Also, I am glad this is a comic and not a videogame, otherwise another surefire way for Gackt is to Crisis Core himself back into the spotlight.
The hell is up with all these prequels nowdays?
Mr. Fish doesn’t have a lvl. By his name is just a ??? and his stats all read 1776. The amount of care Jared has put in has made Mr. Fish the perfect Pokemon. He would be Banned in Comp’s if Jared had his Trainer License.
I forgot also. The deal with Prequels nowadays is because most of the Franchises are going dead so most companies are reinventing them or just making more and more plot points to make an extra chapter. Even the old school games like Mario, Zelda, Sonic and Bomberman have reduced to mainly remakes or Reimaging. Even some newer games have gone to Prequels (Resident Evil being the main one) so it may just be the new trend for game devolpers this days.
He’s like a Kobe Gyarados who gets massages and champagne and bedtime stories.
By my guess Mr Fish is about level 50 or so depending on what generation Pokemon the Laserfish is. Because Hyper Beam can only be learned by leveling when about level 50 or in that range of levels. Perfect timing for it though. Too bad for Gackt.
my sister is making me cosplay commander badass :I
You should send me photos :D
I wanna see this too.
I pretty much hate ComicsAlliance since they started attacking /co/ with feminazism and turned that place into social justice trollbait land.
Fuck them and their opinion on what is sexy.
You’re not going to believe this… they LITERALLY ran out of spaces for “Commander Badass” Nominations… REALLY!!! ON THE PAGE IT SAYS “We don’t need any more nominations that just say “Commander Badass”. We already have plenty of those.” as a separate statement! I think you’re good!
I just saw that because I was going to nominate CB myself. I promptly lol’d hard.
Still gonna stick him in with my other nominations, just because. Might put Canadian Guy in there too. :P
So, fun fact, friends: there is now an “Important Note” on the linked ComicsAlliance page to stop nominating CB. It has been two days, and we have effectively spammed their website. Go us.
Just saw that too, cracked me up man. Also fish lasers.
The comics alliance nomination thing says, “You’re not casting a vote, so please don’t nominate the same name multiple times. For example, we don’t need any more nominations that just say “Commander Badass”. We already have plenty of those.”
I guess a lot of people nominated him.
I went to the site you posted a link to and it said “We already have plenty of nominations for Commander Badass”
I laughed out loud.
The ComicsAlliance thing now says that they don’t need any more nominations that just say ‘Commander Badass’. I call that a win.
“Commander, I think he’s out of lasers now.”
For anyone who was wondering when Hyper Beam was going to run out of PP, it just did right now.
I just hope it was out of PP and just not in need of a one-turn recharge!
Speaking of FF, maybe they should try K.o’ing the Commander, and useing a phenoix down,( Probally won’t work due to Improbabillity and badassness)or use a cure-all,ala FFTA, As a last resort,ever notice how he hasnt’t done anything manly after being infected, maybe,just maybe,doing anything he normally does will work, and finally, as a last resort, try the “Disney Princess” rule,i.e,kiss him and everything will be alright…
I have an idea for a comic. Have someone, possibly Jared, ask War, from Darksiders, “what do you do, War?” With War’s reply being, “I answer only the call.” Which then a phone rings, and War answers it.
I actually like the commander’s Nomura-ed design (Old one is good too) but I cannot stand the hair. It’s just… argh.
I went to nominate Commander Badass (as if you even had to ask, or feel guilty in the least for mentioning it), but on their site, apparently so many people have nominated him that they made special mention about him not needing to be nominated again. I wish I had your talent as a comic writer and an artist. You are truly inspiring. I just feel guilty that I am not anywhere near the financial situation to donate what I believe you deserve for your amazing work. Please keep it up for all us poor folk who have little to look forward to outside your hilarity!
I saw it.
I nominated him anyway.
As did I. Fuck ’em, it’s their problem now.
And for the record, I put Commander Badass in all eight lines.
Of course, Mr Fish will always be there to vaporize his fabulous backside back into the Ether of Glamorous Beings! I swear this leaves me with an image of him just like Shen-du being sent back to the Limbo in Jackie Chan Adventures.
Hopefully when he gets back, his sparkling brethren will torture him for failing, once again, to bring humanity to it’s smoothly supple knees for them to rule over, and Corrupt with their Dreaded Fabulosity! Go on Rain…say Chi Spell! XD
So…
Ummm….
I’ve gotten used to the Commander looking like this and well…
I don’t want him to go back.
@_@ Please don’t hate me!
Well, I’m truly sorry for you, but I hate you.
Rofl I was actually listening to Rain’s music as I read through this comic strip and I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe. Thumbs up. I love all the references.