Things were going perfectly fine, no need to beat yourself up
January 31, 2011
12:00 am
I’ve been meaning to draw this bit of character development forever, so the 50th strip seems like as good a time as any. You now what that means, guys, two weeks and I’ll be at a full year of updates (I ran guest strips that one week, but I DID do two comics the week Expendables came out…)
And it’s my Dad’s Birthday, so you should all celebrate in the streets in his honour.
Discussion (174) ¬
Awesome. Love Butcher-Girl’s face in the first panel. Seriously wish you did more than one update a week, I want to know what happens next so bad!
The best part of staying up and studying on sundays is remembering to pop in and check on the strip at the earliest possible convenience. The worst part is knowing that you really DO have to wait a week for the next update. Totally worth it though.
Indubitably.
KRAKOOM!
OH SNAP.
I was totally expecting a Canadian Guy comic for Dad’s birthday
I’m in the middle of an arc here, Luke. :P
That´s what SHE said!
eh..
Nah, doesn´t make any sense. Plz ignore& carry on.
I GOT IT!!!!
ME TOO!!!!!! highfive*
GEEZ LUKE. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ
Younger brother?
yeah.
Coelasquid has a brother!?
THE WORLD IS NOT ALOUD TO BE TOO AWESOME COELASQUID. EVERY ADDITIONAL MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY RAISES THE DANGER OF AN AWESOMESPLOSION.
Wow. Did I really use the wrong word for “allowed”? Fuck I’m off today.
I GUESS I DONT MATTER IN THIS
ILL JUST GO
AND TAKE MY CODING WITH ME
Dear Vorked,
It comes a time, in real life, when we must celebrate the accomplishments of those other than the artist. We must acknowledge the editors, the gaff holders, the code compilers, the intern he needs to get all the damn coffee. So, Vorked, here it is to you.
GO VORKED!
TL:DR
Vorked is a cool guy. He codes + snarks and doesnt afraid of anything!
I hope that’s a Spongebob reference (the chrome future, that is).
Because that’s hilarious.
“Everything is chrome in the future!” is the best line ever to come out of Spongebob. And I like the show so that’s sayin’ something.
*Crawls into a fetal position and begins to stretch and contort as if he were a human accordion”
FUUUUUTURRRRRRRRRRE
FUUUUUTURRRRRRRRRRE
FUUUUUTURRRRRRRRRRE
I’m more inclined to believe the tagline Orange (the phone company) uses.
The future is indeed orange. The future is orange because eventually the entire world will be in a constant state of building work… and everyone will have to wear hard hats forever.
“Chromed future” is a widely used concept. Spongebob is merely one of mane to reference it, so no relation probably.
Coelasquid pretty much just said it was so yeah…
Spongebob was the first one to take it to such a ridiculous level, even going so far as to spray the landscape chrome. DERP!
Love Jonesey’s face. Awesome you’re giving it more facial expression.
Also, is this turning into that thing like with Fairly Odd Parents, where Timmy goes back in time to see his Mom and Dad of the past, (and Cosmo is like to some kid “Don’t call it the internet, you should call it the Timmy!” but I digress. Anyways, they go back in the past) to know how important his Dad’s trophy is, then he goes back to the present, apologizes for ruining it, and then future Timmy comes and destroys it and is all like, “You’ll thank me later!”, and then he disappears, and then Timmy’s mom comes in and says “Oh, Internet, lunch is ready!”
I swear it makes total sense in my head. But is that what’s going down right now?
Stop punching yerself! Stop punching yerself!
That’s what you get fer time traveling.
God damn time paradoxes these days, it’s almost as worst as the “E” word
“E” word? Could you elaborate?
You’re asking to get punched now, aren’t you?
IT’S BANNED FOR A REASON, FOO!
Its EPI—- *Gets punched in the face by time-travelling commander*
“Th’ jar’s already full, dammit!”
That just made my day right there.
So the question is, is future him or past him the one who is angry with current him. Time travel sure is confusing.
I’m gonna take a guess and say future him, because if it was past him, he’d have seen it coming.
perhaps he figured out in the mean time that taking it on the chin would be better for how things turn out in the long run.
Is a blood sacrifice necessary for you dad’s birthday?
Speaking of “dad’s” birthday, did anyone else think that was Woz when you saw that picture? I had to look up his birthday just to make sure Coela doesn’t have some weird “thing” and refers to Steve Wozniak as “dad.” :p
I’m inclined to say he looks more like Brian Blessed, if I had to pick a likeness.
Your dad looks like !!!BRIAN BLESSED!!!? Cool.
Well at least your dad doesn’t look like ZZ Top like mine =_=
Are you dissing the dudely beards?
Never in a million years! It just means I’ll never be able to live up to the legend :U
My dad looks like “Doc” Holiday.
If you were to apply your father into the Dr. McNinja mythos, his beard would guarantee him a position of authority.
It grants him a position of authority in real life too.
Ok that was awesome, I guess we’ll see what crazy Shennanigins occurs when two Commanders do battle next week
Dude I didn’t know that that was how you spell shennanigins I alwases spelled it shinnanagins
An ad for “Paradox”… heh
Got the same one. I lol’d
Man, don’t you hate it when your future self pops into your present and starts shit. I think mine only does it cause he knows that by the time I can retaliate that I will already be him.
Mine shows up occasionally to troll me by spoiling me as to what happens in awesome webcomics I’m following, without actually showing them to me…the bastard.
Future me did that to me once so I went back and slapped past me and told me not to time travel. Stupid bastard didn’t listen. Now I have to go back and ruin his webcomi…. uh.
He’s going to steal his girl! :O
But I thought encountering your own self could create a time paradox that could destroy the whole universe!
Ok, I’m exaggerating… it could destroy just the galaxy.
Naw, Professor Farnsworth made clear in “Bender’s Big Score” that the time travel paradox always means that duplicates created from time travel are doomed, be they whole humans or just bodies from the neck down.
that was just the time travel that used the machine code from fry’s ass.
the time travel=universal destruction has to do with copies of objects occupying the same space in time, though it gets incredibly confusing when you bring entropy and quantum physics into it, as at a quantum level, you are vastly different from one fraction of a second to the next. (and taking a “photograph” of that completely changes what you would have looked like, see Heisenberg)
But that doesn’t necessarily mean that the duplicate would be doomed instantly. It might have enough time to do what it wants to do before dying.
Take a certain character from a visual novel called Fate/Stay Night. He’s in a situation where even if he stabs himself in the neck, he’ll be revived to continue to be some kind of protect-the-world-from-destruction spirit superhero. He waits until he’s sent back to the time when his younger self and some others are in a small war (because apparently that can happen once in a while), which is the catalyst for him later becoming a superhero. He doesn’t like being this kind of hero, so his plan is to kill his younger self, which should cause enough of a time paradox to force the world to erase him from existence.
This is relevant to this webcomic, because this character inspired people to invent a new word, just to describe how manly and badass he is. The character is called Archer, and that word is GAR.
Paradox from meeting yourself doesnt make sense anyway. That isn’t how matter/time/fucking anything works. It was just for some old sci-fi crap that took on. I really wish people would drop that.
Meh… I don’t really care if writers apply it or not.
But I know one thing: If Coelasquid applied this rule in this comic, the galaxy could have ended with one powerful punch!
And that could be awesome!
…I immediately think of three things at the end of this page. First being “SNAKE! What have you done?! You’ve created a time paradox!!!” The second is Back To The Future Part 2, when the Doc tells Marty about not interacting with future/past selves; which could either result in the destruction of the universe. And third thing I think of is Doctor Who; not the newer one with David Tennant or Matt Smith, but with Kung Fu (4th) Doctor and the episode Brigadier meets himself in a past event and got some sort of time “electric” shock when they touch each other.
But truly, there is nothing more satisfying than the thought of punching your past self when they are least expecting it…unless of course, it results in feeling sore as a result. Freakin’ time past-future stuff…
Well if your past self is in the distant past, like a year or some months then the punch would be fine. If it was your past self like you from yesterday then you’d just hurt yourself and yourself-self.
There are certainly times where I feel like going back and punching Past-Me.
So… Gotta watch out for your future self deciding your past self needs to be knocked upside the head?
On that note, “Why’re you hitting yourself?”
Okay: Future Commander has come back and punched present(?) Commander for fouling up a possible romance, but more importantly, giving butcher-girl some info on the future.
I think.
HOLY FFFFFFFF-
And we have to wait a whole week for another update! D8
Coela, you are too cruel.
But you’re an amazing artist and storyteller, so it all evens out
Am I the only one who thinks Sarah looks a lot like Debra from “Dexter” in the first panel?
Maybe I’ve been watching too much Dexter… -_-
she kinda does
Ok, I loved Jonesy’s facial and body expressions in last weeks update, but this week you made me fall in LOVE with her! the first panel I got all wobbly-kneed…
On another note, everyone here seems to think it’s the Commander punching the Commander… (weird)… but who’s to say it isn’t future Jared who got all buff and became the new commander of the agency and he put on the old Commander’s jacket and decided to punch the Commander in the face for…. unknown reasons?
NO IT’S NOT FARFETCHED!!!
YES IT IS.
Why would it be Farfetch’d? Jared hangs with Mister Fish, who is a Gyarados. Tch.
How about this for a Farfetch’d concept. What if Jared IS Commander Baddass, and just doesn’t know it yet? The Commander wouldn’t have said anything yet, due to the fact that we all know (thanks to Ms. Jones) that a lot of what he says is total BS, so when Jared realizes who he is, he time travels back to this particular day, just to lay one across his own jaw.
Of course, I’m probably just talking out of my ass due to the raw 3lb steak I just consumed in celebration of Ms. Coela’s father’s day of birth.
MIND IS BLOWN
Glad you appreciate the theory.
Lol, “Farfetch’d”
The plot THICKENS!
Just like gravy.
Sooo… your dad looks awesome. With a beard like that, he could easily out-rank the commander and his sideburns. Or even Canada guy and his chin of hairy wonder. You should draw your dad as a future time-traveling navy seal badass mecha-piloting gun-slinging cowboy themed person! or as your dad. either way.
Is there a difference?
That’s the most fantastic beard this side of Brian Blessed.
Yeah, makes me ashamed of my dad and his wimpy Tom Selleck.stache.
not going to lie. That is a pretty sweet Beard. I mean, way awesome. Words can not describe.
My dad looks like the God-damned Frito-Bandito. Fuckin’ beaner.
Don’t worry guys! This is just how the Commander says hello to himself.
So this is how he lost his tooth?
I feel like this entire comic was leading up to the pun in the title here. And if so, it was totally worth it.
Well, I can’t celebrate on the streets, so I hope you accept this metaphorical birthday gift for your father.
And just guessing here, but will there be a time traveling Commander who is here to beat up present Commander who will be sabotaged by time traveling Commander 2?
I’d laugh if he’s come BACK to punch himself in the face because he messes up with the girl and is now being punished by his future future self for… Oh no i’ve gone cross eyed >.<
Yeah, i love mondays <3
Oh shit the plot is attacking run!
Seriously, though, this is a delightful development. Best part: I have no idea where you’re going with this.
Your father has the best beard ever.
I’ll raise a glass to your Dad’s beard.
And what’s terrific? The advert just under the comic! I see the Commander punchin’ himself, and then scroll down just a bit …
PARADOX.
Yep. Adbot wins again.
PARADOXES AREN’T CREATED WHEN YOU MEET YOURSELF. THAT ISNT HOW TIME AND SCIENCE WORKS.
How does it do then?
The ol’ sci-fi that started this said that two pieces of matter couldn’t be in two places at the same time, so if they touched, everything would die, or something like that.
Now think of it this way. The first description of “Matter cannot be in two places at the same time.” This would already cause everything to die, because that same matter would already exist as soon as you time-traveled.
Passing through time travel wormholes could never engender paradoxes—there are no initial conditions that lead to paradox once time travel is introduced. If results can be generalized, they would suggest, curiously, that none of the supposed paradoxes formulated in time travel stories can actually be formulated at a precise physical level: that is, that any situation you can set up in a time travel story turns out to permit many consistent solutions. The circumstances might, however, turn out to be almost unbelievably strange.
Time travel does not CREATE a paradox, it is used TO time travel.
Quantum-mechanical phenomena such as quantum teleportation, the EPR paradox, or quantum entanglement might appear to create a mechanism that allows for faster-than-light (FTL) communication or time travel, and in fact some interpretations of quantum mechanics such as the Bohm interpretation presume that some information is being exchanged between particles instantaneously in order to maintain correlations between particles.
I learn something new every day.
11/10 on your post sir. Will happily read again and probably copy-pasta it.
“Purely Theoretical” is Physics-speak for “I pulled the maths out of my ass”.
And yet it Works bia-tches!!!
For people who are too lazy to read Vorked’s post heres a summary: Time Paradox’s are Stupid.
I swear I bid on the adspace before this comic came online D8 I swear.
OH MAN SHITS ABOUT TO GET REALLLLL 8U
I hope this is the Commanders evil twin 8T
So, in Futurama one them would have to die so the universe doesn’t implode. What time travel rules will you be applying here?
Get some lackeys to help you with this so you can do more then one comic a week. If you feed them in gummy bears and game time you can keep them healthy for a while. I learned that from your comic strip. :D
only if the time traveler can’t return to his own time via time travel. (possibly after becoming his own grandfather, choke on that causality!)
In the new seasons and movies though your time double has to die, whether they did the nasty in the pasty or not.
because the original traveler is taking their place, so far there has been no time travel that involves returning to point of departure. (I would argue that the forward only time traveling machine doesn’t have to kill your subsequent universe copy, but with the episode nearly over it was just convenient that way)
The professor invented a time machine that only goes forward in time and went forward untill they met with their point of departure. I think I’m putting too much thought into this.
At any rate we still don’t know what the time rules for the Commander in this alternate universe. Time cop rules? Back to the future rules? Simpson’s rules? DC comics rules? Marvel comics rules? Time Traveler’s wife rules? Terminator rules? Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure rules? Perhaps some kinda weird unholy combination that has yet to be conceived due to the mind blowing affects it will have.
“When it comes to time travel theory there are basically two schools of thought. The Spock theory is that a slingshot around the sun could create a wormhole in which time could not escape. The Lt. Cmdr. Data theory however is that a magnetic vibration could create a rip in the time-space continuum.”
I gave up on the Startrek Theories of time travel after their last movie. Anyone who allows THAT to occur isn’t paying attention to basic story writing let alone time travel.
^that was the quote from the 2 trekkies in the “4th grade” episode of south park
Your dad looks like he could fight a grizzly bear and win, man. Happy birthday to him for sure.
I would like to see the commander knock his own tooth out.
Do I smell a storyline coming into fruition?
I think the range of facial expressions on this one is up there with the later Calvin and Hobbs. Seriously, this is pro.
speaking of Calvin and Hobbs, I am remembering similar time travel shenanigans in an effort to get out of doing homework.
Huh, I just had the thought that the Commander Jonesy is talking to is actually the future Commander, and the Commander that punched him in the face is the present Commander, who was pissed at himself for stealing his date…or something.
Well happy bithday to your dad :D
This is going to be EPIC!
*jar*
What? It’s a totaly legitimate use of the word, meaning awesome, as in awe inspiring, or somthing on a truly massive scale. I am useing it in the first definition, unless multiples of him apear, in which case it would fit both defenitions.
Tell your dad “Some random guy on my comic says happy birthday” for me. Can’t wait to see where this storyline’s going
It’s actually future Canadian Guy who took over the agency and stole the Commander’s jacket.
Whoa, so it’s only been a year? It feels like it’s been years. Congrats on lasting so long, and a Happy Birthday to your dad.
Is your father’s beard the source of his power?
Hahaha!!! I’d totally go back in time and punch myself in the face.
Wait… The commander is a lefty?
By the way, happy birthday to your dad. He’s pretty lucky to have such a magnificent piece done in his honor.
nay brethren i think he doth be ambidextrous
He holds a pen in his right hand in the sixth comic
My wild guess is this: the punching Commander might be the real one from the current timeline and also the one we’ve been seeing in all the strips so far, while the Commander who’s been chatting to Jonesey here is the impostor from the future!
Now to wait a week and see if I’m even remotely close to the truth. :)
I thought this as well :).
Highfive! :D
This Commander here seems a little less cool, less… suave? First the burning women with his mind part, and how he made time travel really sound boring. He could obscure his past in a more manly and awesome manner before, that’s why I’m thinking he could be a doppelganger. Although I might be way overinterpretting and he could just be having a bad day. :)
A whole month without Jared or Mr. Fish?
What? :(
that’s only four strips, man…
ThePunchlineIsKratos: Starring Jared, with none?!
MADNESS!
5 actually.
But you’re on an arc now, and the last time that happened was Jared’s story. And that’s still the best thing I ever read. So please go on, and nevermind my complaints.
Potemkin! Stop overthrowing the Czar!
Nobody but the commander can sucker punch the commander
Kakarang In the Mug!
Oh God, It’s Vietnam all over again! The commander can’t win! Surely the commander thinks he knows what the commander will do, but the commander ALWAYS beats the commander in his own game! The universe is probably done for if they ever brawl, so it’ll probably stop right there on the punch. I hope.
I wanted to add that majestic mane of the commander’s reminds me of that clip of Adventure Time where the kid takes his hat off. Kinda gloriously beautiful for such a rough, manly man. It’s a bit funny and it makes me think the commander would’ve been one of them supper sexy suave guys if he hadn’t grown all tuff gai.
By the way, when you said “And it’s my Dad’s Birthday”, you mean his birthday goes in tandem with the comic’s? Did you start the comic on his birthday?
What can you give Canadian Guy (AKA Dad in some cultures) for birthday? New goggles? A new hatchet? A new antler? A contest of Canadian Guy Tributes?
Canadian tire money?
Wish your Dad a happy birthday for me! :D
Your dad has one manly beard. I can see where the inspiration comes from.
is it just me, or jonesey’s face look like troll face in panel 1?
Now that you mention it…
Yay, a plot! :D
Wut.
Is it bad that I thought the face of the Commander in the last panel is the best face I’ve seen ANYWHERE in a long time?
All that rage, surprise and eventual beat-up is totally E-*screeeeeeech*!
I totally agree. That face is stupendous.
I will never grow tired of reading all these. These always bring a laugh to any time of day.
I’ve searched through a good portion of the comments and all I have to say is; really guys? Really? I’m the one who has to do this? Fine. Geez…”ahem”….
FALCOOOOOON PUNCH!!!
YES!
ROFLcopter.
Your father has the manliest beard I’ve seen in a long time. I raise my glass to him in salutation. Happy birthday, Coelasquid Sr.
He never saw it coming….
My god, an actual plotline beginning?
I mean this in a non-offensive way.
But your dad’s picture reminds me of a mixing of equal parts (older) Ben Savage and John Tenta. Both of which I consider (highly) manly to a degree. I bet your dad is super awesome, enjoy him well.
Can’t wait for the next comic, keep of the excellent work!
There’s some witty thing i should say here having to do with “the punchline is” and “face” or something, but I’m feeling far too uncreative today XD
and OMG ur dad is like a young Dr. Demento 8D
Back to the Future theme start playing as I read this comic. I lol’d
Okay, yes… great comic as always but HOLY HAMMER OF THOR, YOUR FATHER’S BEARD.
It stole the show.
IN DA FACE!!
Thought he was punching himself for a moment there.
Like, with his own fist, not the future commander’s.
And here comes the Cerebus plot-driver.
I just noticed, the Commander’s goggles stay in place while his head moves. He punched himself so hard his accessories don’t have time to react!
Ad directly under the comic for another comic called Paradox. Fitting.
Allright, I was kinda bored, so I made a quick edit of this comic of what could happen if the theory of the same person meets each other is true:
http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/558/manlyedit.png
Forgive me if I wasted some of your precious time with this.
Holy crap. The advertisement is actually appropriate. This is a paradox.
Hey, they finally went and got coffee!
They’ve been getting coffee together for months, whatever that translates to in comic time.
They’ve even gone for Chinese together… Although Marv and Kratos were there too.
My goodness… Your dad DOES look like Canadian Guy!!!!
Your Father’s beard was grown and chiseled by the Gods themselves.
I saw the following image and immediately thought of Jared and Mr. Fish.
http://www.impawards.com/2011/rango_ver2.html
the game
the what? My screen is smudged, I can’t read the last word.
Long time reader, first time posting,
What is with the new mobile layout, the actual comics arnt even show up anymore.
What is this?
A center for ants?
I don’t know. Too much shit has happened with the site today I can’t really deal with much more. Maybe it works now? I tried to deactivate some of the new plugins.
Coelasquid, you must now grow a beard as e*** as your dad’s.