Who are you to tell vampires what they don’t do?
October 29, 2012
12:00 am
I don’t like Twilight, I just think the idea of a sparkly Nosferatu is silly as all get out.
Also BIG NEWS my professional stomping grounds (Six Point Harness) recently joined forces with Titmouse to start a brand new animation channel on Youtube called Rug Burn! If you subscribe now you’ll be on the front lines for the hard launch of all the rad content to come.
Sparkling makes ALL vampires hilarious
Agreed :D
Exactly what i had in mind.
Also, Orlock, Alucard, Bella Lugoci, Kain, & From that movie Bram Stoker’s Dracula…
But where’s Blade? Lestat? Edward Cull-…. No, that doesn’t count. At least you can add one character from that 2D fighting game “Melty Blood” (Night of Wallachia is my favorite):
h++p://typemoon.wikia.com/wiki/Night_of_Wallachia
Arcueid and Michael Roa Valdamjong (I’m not apologizing if I mangled that mouthful.) are vampires too.
Well, Arc, being an artificial True Ancestor, is kind of weird. On the taxonomical front, I mean, though she’s definitely weird enough in the personality front (you don’t often get superpowerful planetary weapons being fans of Sailor Moon). True Ancestors are kind of “not sure if vampire” at the best of times…
Yeah, the big thing with True Ancestors is that they’re more… well they’re less human than your average vampire, since they don’t have the human base. But at the same time, they’re less of a monster, since they don’t require blood to survive. It’s all annoying. And by that logic, Nrvnqsr (Nero) is also a Vampire… as is Sion, SHIKI… though I guess that’s Roa as well… Yumizuka, all of the other, un-illustrated Dead Apostles… the list goes on and on, to be frank. Then again, I guess half of’em don’t matter, really. Ah, Tsukihime and its spin-offs… ah, just the Nasuverse in general. I could talk all day….
Two relevant facts emerge here.
1. The field of philosophy is infamous for being completely incomprehensible to the uninitiated, and for often bearing very little resemblance to the world as it actually is observed.
2. The cosmology of the Nasuverse is based more in philosophy than it is in logic or the usual storytelling devices.
Add in a tendency to sound very systematic and detailed (enough to attract a detail-obsessed fanbase), while also making it up as needed to facilitate plot and characterization, then add in a tendency to say misleading or completely nonsensical BS in interviews to shift the topic away from things the fans are interested in but the creator isn’t, and you have the Perfect Storm of, well, yeah. Best word to describe it I can think of is “oy vey”.
You forgot D. Well technically D is a dhampir but he will become a full vampire if he drinks blood
Maybe D would only half sparkle. But if his dad is Dracula wouldn’t it be weird to be around like 4 different versions of you dad?
Nope he would take the time to enjoy slaying all of them. D vs Alucard would be an awesome fight to watch
That’s blasphemy. Blade wouldn’t be caught UNDEAD sparkling like a fairy.
i c wut u did thar
Blade is probably not there on account of being in prison.
Ingredients for making a vampire sparkle in sunlight:
One (1) vampire
One (1) bottle of lotion mixed with magnesium powder
Spread the lotion on the vampire and expose it to sunlight. Watch as it spontaneously combusts and then sparkles! For Science, of course. But it isn’t Science if nobody dies.
I can’t decide if Count Orlok or Hellsing-Alucard is funnier like this…
‘Tis not funny. ‘Tis sad. THIS, however, is funny as hell and is my favorite vampire strip ever:
http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/761614/damn-bloodsuckers/
As a parting note: Vampires do not sparkle. Vampires rip open a peson’s throat to drink their lifeblood an then rip out the spines of their enemies to use as toothpicks.
*persons
*person’s. Please use correct grammar when correcting someone’s grammar.
Complementary note:
It’s always funny when people forget to check the name of the person correcting the grammar ^^
What about when correcting your own grammar?
he corrected his spelling, not really grammar.
Ye gods people. I was just trying to get a point across! Stop harping on about a single missed character.
Bravo to that find. Personally if I was a vampire and sparkled I’d probably stake myself out of sheer embarrassment.
Clearly, being sparkly must not help ninja-ing their way to drinking people’s blood :)
Then you must have missed this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgnIjJexut4
For the longest time, I just saw all the sparkles as snow, and was like, what are you talking about? This makes no sense! Then I got it.
It still looks like it’s snowing, though.
I thought it was snow at first…
It’ll probably look more like sparkles when I have a chance to tinker with the colours, I had to draw and colour most of this before I left for work in the morning.
All the vampires are pissed because he stole their costume idea.
Sparkly Alucard is the best thing I’ve seen ever.
Indeed. XD
I agree. Because Alucard rocks, but let’s face it–he kind of deserves to be sparklified.
XD!! imagine Seras or Integra seeing a sparkly Alucard for the first time… their heads would explode!! XD
Good lord, where’s the ‘Like’ button on this thing? I know I saw one a few minutes ago!
After all that trouble to get his manly beard back. What is even your motive, Jared? WHAT IS IT YOU WANT?
He’s so enigmatic.
jared’s motives are unknowable. I like to think he unknowingly listens to the butterflies lost in the cracks of the universe. How else would he be able to inadvertently summon and sparklfy five badass vampires to skeptical captain’s absurdment and the vampire’s obvious unhappiness with the circumstances of their summoning. Just look at them glower.
Aww, why didn’t you put Kain in the foreground? Stacked as he is, it would have been even more hilarious with sparkle.
Because he’s tall and would block everyone.
When a cereal character is a better vampire than you, you know you are a failure at un-life.
(Count Chocula > Edward Cullen)
Anyone > Edward Cullen
ANY vampire > Ed Cullen.
Deal. With. It.
Dude(-et, I dont know if you’re a guy or a girl)
Edward Cullen stole Edward Elric’s good name, and completely TRASHED it….
I feel sorry for anyone whose first name is Edward at the moment…
Though vampires that glitter in sunlight are hilarious, they should accually just fall into little piles of ash… And werewolves DON’T transform as they please, they only transform on the week of the fullmoon. And they dont remember who thery are in that form…
Live on Fullmetal Alchemist,
Team Edward ELRIC, FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hell yeah! The only true Edward is Edward Elric!
What about Radical Edward? XD
There’s a skater on one of the local roller derby teams who uses that name. When I saw her on the team line-up I wanted to run down an hug her. No physical likeness there, however. XD
Or Ed from Cowboy Bebop, which is, I think, a better anime that Brotherhood. But it’s pretty close.
Brotherhood is a remake the original series was better although less accurate to the manga.
Yep, that’s the one. XD
I disagree. Other Edwards: Edward Scissorhands, Edward Wong Hau Tivrusky IV, Edward Nigma, the list goes on.
Actually, the original Dracula didn’t have a problem walking in the sunlight. It just limited his shapeshifting.
That was more of the Hellsing manga that did that because Hirano is awesome and decided to use Stoker’s whole book as canon (flaws and all) instead of bits and pieces. While it is true that this did happen in Stoker’s book, that was more of an editorial problem than anything as his book is filled with many inconsistencies. The whole walking in the sunlight thing was one of them as the book itself states that vampires can’t go into the sunlight. Many of the inconsistencies in the book revolves around saying one thing and doing another. Stoker was just simply a great writer that had a extremely shitty editor.
There actually are some lycanthropes who transform as a result of extreme stress and others who are able to transform at will. Consult your D&D monster manual for more details.
Hey, I’ll have you know that my first name is Edward and after the initial awkward after the fad first started it became kinda fun. The “Team Edward” shirt fad at my high school ended rather quickly because I turned it into a great way to screw with people. :P
…That’s just funny right there.
Regarding werewolves: Not unless they’re within 4 generations of an Alpha.
-raise hand- I agree with the non sparkle rule for Vampires, but I’m a fan of White Wolf Werewolves myself.
Basic rundown for anyone who doesn’t know…
Lycanthrophy is not a disease, it’s genetic.
Werewolves (and Werecats, -rats, -bears, -ravens, etc) were created by Gaia as stewards over humanity to help keep balance. They can shift form as desired to make use of the human, beast and spiritual aspects.
Things went to shit when the Shifters (all the Werebeasts in general) massacred great swathes of humanity to keep humans in line. Called the Impergium
Things went further to shit when Werewolves declared war on all others Shifters and massacred them because they felt they should rule over all Shifters instead of be considered equals. Called the War of Rage.
Yet another disaster, the clans of the Werewolves declared war on each other and massacred one another because each one felt they were the proper tribe to rule. Called the Second War of Rage.
Modern Day. Werewolves fight a desperate but likely futile battle against their own past sins and the corruption of the Wyrm including, but not limited to, vampires, demons, fomori, dark fey and banes while Gaia slowly dies in front of them.
I think we need a fan fiction alert.
Things like this need to be quarantined.
What you have there is not a history of werewolves, hell, it’s not even anything to do with half of werewolf mythology.
It’s a fan fiction.
See, this is why we can’t have nice super natural beings.
I know what he’s talking about. I use to play the game and always hated the werewolves. I wanted a monster not a fuzzy captain planet.
White Wolf synopses always read like bad fan fiction to me. One of the reasons I’ve never been interested in playing any of their games.
There are also the 5 types in the Dresden-verse from Fool Moon ascribed as:
Hexwolves: Using magical artifacts to change in to werewolf form,
Lycanthropes: Borderline personalities affected by the lunar cycle who become anamalistic berserkers,
Magicians: Using limited form of shape-shifting spell to turn in to a large wolf form,
Nature Spirits: Can freely shift to and from wolf form,
and the Loup Garou: A true mindless berserker werewolf afflicted by a curse…
Twilight “vampires” were really closer to Fae, but even that’s insulting to traditional Fae.
Long live Queen Mab!
Long live the Pizza Lord!
Tampons > Edward Cullen
Well, they actually suck blood, indeed.
I thought he hated sparkly vampires in one of the previous archives… then again, it was sort of ambiguous.
Sometimes we also use what we hate as a really (funny) stupid joke.
I love how Alucard’s face is just straight up…
8[
… in this pic.
There’s actually a real explanation for this. It all boils down to the not-reflected-in-mirrors feature combined with physics and lasers. Search for “Vampire Optics” for some pictures, but I’ll summarize here for ease of reading.
First, recall that vampires are not reflected in mirrors. Think about this: pointing a laser at a vampire produces a dot on both the vampire and where the laser pointer would normally be pointed. Vampires duplicate strong lights in the presence of mirrors. You can set up a feedback loop using this property: just have a vampire wear shiny clothing and stand in front of a mirror. This continues until the thing builds up so much energy that it melts. We’re talking about exponential feedback with a cycle time of a few picoseconds, so this happens so fast that the entire room explodes.
Now, it turns out that the mirror and the shiny clothing aren’t necessary! Those are just to make the light coherent enough to feed back over a distance of a few meters. You can do the same thing with a shiny vampire standing next to a dark wall, or a normally-clothed vampire standing next to a mirror. Or a normally-clothed vampire with a shiny grain of dust…. which floats past them on the wind, gets too close, sets up a feedback loop, and explodes in a flash of light. AKA a sparkle.
And yet, Twilight is STILL intolerable.
Now, if only Stephanie Myers had given Twilight this level of intelligent thought…
Now if only Stephanie Meyers had an intelligent thought.
Or the ability to write at all.
This is still the best damned webcomic around, no lie.
i love you
also: you should write fanfic of this
i would read the hell out of that
Word of the Day, Glampire.
When infected by a Glampire, one begins to loose all traces of manliness, becomes irresistible to mindless teenage girls, and even the possibility of sparkling has been known to occur.
Not to be confused with the Vampire of myth, Glampires only share a craving for blood. While a vampire can be tolerated, the Glampire should be destroyed on sight before it infects the mindless teenage masses, or spreads and steals the manliness of another manly figure.
…Oh dear. Glampire syndrome. A vampire-specific version of Nomura Syndrome.
I thought the word is Fampire Syndrome? (Fabulous Vampire)
Glampires.
Titmouse? Well, you know what to do.
Bring the new Venture Bros. series to the car park at 8. I’ll be the one with the briefcase.
I’ll be the one with the homicidal Vietnam vet as a bodyguard/nanny.
I don’t know who Nosferatu is, but I DO know who the Count of Monte Cristo is somewhat (at least I think that’s who the guy in white with the purple glasses is) and I definitely know who Alucard is, thanks to a certain Top 20 video on youtube. XD
Pretty sure Purple Glasses is Gary Oldman as Dracula in Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula.
Which means there’s three version of Dracula: Oldman, Alucard and Lugosi. And Baron Orlock was created as a Dracula knockoff.
No wonder Kain’s at the back. He must be feeling a bit awkward around multiple versions of basically the same guy.
At least Castlevania Dracula isn’t there, as awkward as it’d be for Kain, it’d be ten times worse for a Dracula who isn’t actually Vlad III of Wallachia.
Poor Mathias would feel like such a poser.
http://castlevania.wikia.com/wiki/Dracula
… yeah…
Actually, Ct. Orlok was the *original* inspiration for Bela Legosi’s Dracula. Check out the old black-n-white movie “Nosferatu.” It was made & screened quite a few years before Legosi’s version of Dracula. Indeed, Nosferatu was (as far as I know) the first vampire movie to come out of Hollywood.
Nosferatu is essentially another name for vampires, i think it was first used in an old silent film that was supposed to be Dracula however they did not get the copyright so they just changed the title and ad materials.
Sparkling glitter vampires suck. Face it. Really..
But Sparkferatu is nice ~
I can’t get enough of the group somewhat glaring at the Captain there. Can’t decide if they’re annoyed that he doesn’t get how “scary” their costume is (cause the idea of all vampires converting to Twilight lore disturbs me) or off-put by the fact they’re sparkling. At least Alucard looks like he’s displeased about it even if the others are just trying to make a statement XD
Although looking back on it, also looks like the group could be glaring at the sparkles themselves, although I can’t decide which is funnier.
Sparkly Cain!
This makes my day ^^
They should establish a ”sparkle jar”, analogous to the epic jar. Everytime someone refers to something as unmanly as twilight, they have to pay a sum equivalent to a round of beer kegs for ”uncorrupted” manly guys of the agency.
Then at least there might be some good stuff coming out of twilight.
“good stuff coming out of twilight” that statement is a contradiction in itself
I thought we were against having Alucard in the strip?
Why would you ever be against having him anywhere? After all, if he wants to be somewhere, you can’t stop him. You couldn’t even stop his puppy.
No, there was a comic here where Alucard wanted into the agency under the excuse that he could turn into a demon. The author was making fun of popular/most-requested manga characters as a not-so-subtle joke asking people to quit asking.
But now that I think about it, making Alucard sparkle like Edward probably caused a fanboy to have a heart attack and die somewhere.
BAD COELASQUID
That was Vincent Valentine.
I love the expressions in this comic so, so much.
A disappointing lack of Keifer Sutherland, but I love the joke!
It looks like Nosferatu is looking over their heads.
What does he see…? o.e
He was smaller before and I resized him. Didn’t have any time to edit it before I had to run to work.
He’s begging a cruel and angry God to turn off the sparkle and to finally let him die.
Hee hee. That works too. XD
Even before hearing the real reason, I assumed he was rolling his eyes in disgust and then found himself unable to look anyone in the eye afterward, out of embarrassment. Considering he’s one of the originators of what we think of when we hear Nosferatu, he would certainly be one of the most offended by turning sparkly. It’s bad enough he’s ugly as hell and clearly monstrous, but this? It lacks dignity!
I like how you guys drew the upper lip on Jared. It is slight, but it actually does make it look like that he had vampire teeth on the first panel. That shows you can full utilize your character expressions without much editing. Happy Halloween!
Alucard has never to know knowledge Sparked. what has twilight done to the Vampire Genra ?
What is your native language, and what has Google Translate done to it?
Vampires follow the same rules as the oft-mentioned 800-pound gorilla in doing whatever (and sitting wherever) they damn well please.
Barring weaknesses like garlic and sunlight in certain cases of vampire, obviously.
Gorillas: 1, Vampires: 0
So, Vampire Gorillas are the threat here?
Where’s Kamen Rider Kiva when you need him?
All of these pitiful vamps pale in comparison to the magnificence that is the greatest vampire of them all: Count von Count.
Alucard looks a bit like Ozzy Osbourne and Slash.
That smile on Jared’s face……….. Did you watch Hotel Transylvania?
…Not lately. I prefer Transylvania 6-5000.
Nice to see Kain show up here again. Wish he would show up in a game again.
I wholeheartedly support this statement. Kain is too bad ass to just stop his series.
Dam you twilight saga DAM YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!
I don’t know which vampire I love more in this comic, because they’re all just fantastic.
whoafrom this discussion i just realized that Twilight has a moral to teach us. and the moral is: no matter how bad something is there will be people who like it.
Noooo no Alucard ;_;
“… all the rad content to come.”
“… rad content”
“… rad”
Ok just admit it, that Kratos costume was a fake, for this year’s holloween you clearly went as the Nineties.
Gnarly.
I dunno, it could be referring to radiation.
Twilight vampires don’t even have fangs…they’re not vampires, they’re Kryptonian/Unicorn halfbreeds.
Nah, they’re fey. Fey that don’t bother with the summer court or winter court and have a more human thought process than normal.
as much as they are not really vampires they do have fangs.
Loathe though I am to admit it, sparkling vampires do make some sense.
If vampires do burn in sunlight, and a very powerful vampire can avoid dying from it for some time; they’d probably sparkle. Whether they survive by powerful regeneration, or somehow blocking most of the light; bits of their skin would probably still catch fire in the sun and ablate away from them. Thus: sparkles…they’d smell like a funeral pyre though.
I do seem to recall the Vampire Chronicles – the really really really really old vampires went pale and also sort of alabaster – marble like. And sun was more of a nuisance to them.
It would stand to reason they might have sparkled in some fashion if actually given half the chance. Instead of being comatose statues and then killing each other,
If the elders in Anne Rice’s novels sparkled at all, it was because their transformed flesh did become more like alabaster, slightly polished. But even the eldest still burned in sunlight; If they were powerful enough, they could *survive* sunlight, but they’d still get burned.
For a “sparkling vampires are stupid” comic, this one is pretty original. Breaths some life into this tired joke.
I like that you avoided the standard “make a vampire hunter/REAL vampire destroy Cullen” route.
And I think Bela Lugosi would have rocked sparkling.
Three different Draculas, yet you forgot the manliest Dracula of all. Where’s the love for ?
Which is just as well HE didn’t show up in this comic…HE would simply REFUSE to sparkle.
Oh my god, I have sparkly sound effects in my head now. HOW DO I GET THEM TO STOP?!
(On a sidenote, I still maintain that Kain is more of a tarnished beige than green, but that’s kind of a debate in the games’ fandom -and merch-, too, so I’m not saying that you’re wrong with your choice, either.)
Nosferatu looks confused by the sparkles :)
Where’s Mr. Fish? I wanted to see him in his ghostie-sticker glory.
I get a kick out of Commander’s Halloween-themed coffee mugs…
Eh, guess they don’t expect Kratos’ costume this year. Last one seems to have been too much of a disappointement ^^
You guys are working with Titmouse?! Any chance of some MEGAS XLR shorts? *nudge nudge*
Good lord, my first thought when I saw titmouse was this ^
Does… Does this mean that Judge Dredd is a vampire?
Nope, Dredd’s a zombie.
After the Judge Child Chronicles, Dredd and Anderson travel to the future to find out more about the doom foretold for Megacity One. They discover that a mutated clone of the Judge Child has taken over the city, killed all of Psi-division, killed Dredd then resurrected him as a zombie and turned the other Judges into vampires. Past Dredd fights his way through them all, after having his eyes gouged out. Vampire Judge Hershey was pretty hot.
(Think what I might have done with this wonderful brain if I hadn’t mainly used it to hang on to trivia like that for a quarter of a century).
Nosferatu’s expression: What the f***? Where did the sparkles even come from?
I think his actual name is Count Orlok
probably all of those tweenies swooning from twilight were actualy suffering from vampire sparkle tockicity….
oops, that’s “toxicity”!!
I hope his next year costume is a werepig
just wanted to show you guys this link
http://fafnirthedragon.com/2010/01/27/bloodsucker-cover/
It’s a real good story btw :D
I’m not seeing Count Chocula.
Will the MGDMT cast be participating in No-Shave-November? The Commander’s stubble is awesome, but I kind of wonder what he would look like with a beard.
He would look like Canada Guy.
He has a beard in one of the christmas comics.
Commander is going to get glitter all over him, and no amount of manliness can get that out. Glitter is like the STD of the craft world.
I’m shocked there isn’t the Christopher Lee version of Dracula in the group.
What, no Nicolas Cage?
Oh Christ.
That sparkly, frowny Alucard is rib-crushingly hilarious.
I’m glad they don’t actually sparkle like that…
I have to laugh at the coincidence of channel surfing and seeing the twilight parody at the same moment this loaded.
TV and computer are the only cure for sugar overdose, gotta stop stealing little brothers candy.
Sparkly Gary Oldman! A dream come true.
Holy crap is that Alucard!? This webcomic just got 10% cooler! :D
…I must’ve been playing too much Castlevania. I’m imagining Dracula and Gabriel sparkling. Carmilla’s bat form, too.
Castlevania Alucard is actually the type for it, though. Certainly pretty and brooding enough.
Sparkle ALL the vampires!
Isn’t alucard exactly the sort of
“I’m so badass it hurts, roar, look at my evilness and big gun and hair and flowing moves that could just as easily be ballet as fighting and I’m the most dangerous person you’ll ever meet and the only reason you’re alive is because you amuse me and…(etc)”
sort of person that would be laughed at on the doorstop of the agency?
If you have to tell people you’re badass, you’re not badass.
Duke nukem taught us that quite effectively…
I don’t remember him ever said he’s badass. More like “I’m fucking psycho and I’ll rip your throat out if you don’t kill me first.” Which he tends to do, it’s a fair promise. If you don’t kill me I’ll kill you. He does that through the series, the problem is that other vampire and monsters say they’re hot shit and then don’t deliver.
Honestly something that powerful enough to kill him makes him happy.
You don’t get it, He’s an utter “tryhard”.
He’s not “Fucking psycho” He’s acting fucking psycho.
You want psycho?
Freddy Krueger, Rorschach, Norman Bates.
Those are “fucking psycho”
Anime has this weird way of superpowering people and saying “look how badass this guy is! he blows up things and is strong.” No working for it, not gradual deterioration of the mind.
It’s just…Boom. Spikey hair, magic powers, rocks being lifted off the ground.
That’s not manly.
Same reason why Link is a sissy in this universe but ganondorf is manly. Ganondorf worked pretty fucking hard to be an evil wizzard dude, Link just sorta got fairy magic to make him “courageous” then the triforce did the rest.
Mario, on the other hand, would be manly;
The dude jumps onto dudes, and they die.
Think about that for a moment;
He jumps over another living creature and crushes them with his bodyweight.
But I digress;
Once again:
If you have to tell people you’re manly, you’re not manly.
If your magic powers can be summed up with the words “kinda cool, if you like anime stuff”, you’re not manly.
If you constantly need to prove to people how manly you are (ie seeking more and bigger opponents and then bragging when you kill them), you’re not manly.
Real vampires don’t go ‘sparkle sparkle’.
Also, remember a time when vampires sucked blood and not cock?
….not, really, no. The Blood/Cock swap has pretty much always been there, it’s just become more in your face over the years as the vampires become more appealing. It’s a part of the whole vampire attack as symbolic rape and blood drinking as symbolic sex.
The main change is that the rape connotations of their symbolic sex are being either lost or romanticized.
Excepting the charlaine Harris books (if anyone mentions the tv series, i’ll get the staff out)
You can thank Hollywood for that trend in vampires. Originally, they were (barely) humanoid-looking beasts that not only drank blood, but also ate your entrails. Vampires mentally operated on the level of “ravenous animal,” avoiding all sources of light (not just sunlight); even strong light from multiple torches or a nearby bonfire could injure them & eventually kill them if exposed long enough.
Vampires really suffered the first “changes” with Bram Stoker…He combined the sexual repression-era of Victorian England with the old legends to “sexy” them up. But it was Hollywood that really did the wide-spread damage to vampires we see nowadays.
I just realized, that lineup is incredibly redundant.Theres 3 Draculas there. (if you dont count the bald knockoff)
funny though
Oh god…
Alucards face…
xD
Yay I see Kain! Though to be fair a wraithRaziel upset that he lost his sparkles would have been awesome too.
alucard looks like howard stern to me…
Same here.
I noticed that Jared is wearing his regular clothes. Everyone else is too, for that matter. No mention of costumes anywhere in the strip.
I-is Jared actually a vampire now?
Major armstrong should be the only man allowed to sparkle (fullmetal alchemist) xDDD
What actually happened.
Jared managed to spill glitter on himself and all those vampires, and after most of them had a good laugh at how silly Nosferatu looked glittery, they decided to no be insulted that Jared decided to dressup like a vampire because of this incident.
The annoyed expression an all of them is because Nosferatu, tired of them laughing, has just pointed out how hard glitter is to wash out.
I like that explanation better :D
Man I wonder if someone will ever draw Robert Pattinson walking by Jared looks at him and Scowls at him for being a Glampire.
It’s funny because Orlock canonically died in sunlight… and also was the first named vampire ever to do so.
WHOAH KAIN!
coela dude why are you just the coolest person sdalkjfd
I wonder what Carmilla would feel about this. I imagine she would sink her teeth into it.
But with most of the characters in the comic being men… probably not.
Carmilla? Or was her name actually Mircalla? Heh, heh!
First widely-published lesbian-vampire story. Not accurate to the original legends of vampires, but I liked it anyway.
:P
Coincidentally, Nosferatu is the most fashion-conscious of the seven gentlemen in this comic.
how about the count from sesame street?
The expression on the Commander’s face in the last panel sells it. That one wide open eye staring to his left at suddenly five vampires who don’t look happy at his last remark is hilarious.
Also, vampires started sparkling with Anne Rice’s books. Try reading “The Vampire Lestat’s” description of himself in those things.
I see the sparkles as like, vampire dandruff.
Alucard’s face is priceless.
Read this on Bram Stoker’s birthday. How…fitting?
I’m late to this because I’ve been out of town for awhile, but this is a thing of beauty. I am going to share this with my best friend and she’ll LOVE it! Made her a bumper sticker one year which said “Real Vampires Don’t Sparkle” and this is going to make her day.
OMG XDD
I just… wow. As soon I saw Alucard.. I love you. I freaking love you..
The lack of Dio Brando among them saddens me :'<
Trust me, Alucard doesn’t sparkle. That’s blood catching the sunlight. His foes blood.
I know this is super late to the party, but Sparkle Gary Oldman Dracula makes me laugh every time.
Rug Burn! Awesome! Didn’t know they did those too! Gold butt and appolo gauntlet and ax cop. lol
I swear, stoopid coincidences happen to me all the time.
I just finished fully watching Hellsing Ultimate and BOOM, alucard.
Also, not being serious here, BUT ALUCARD DOESN’T FUCKING SPARKLE.
I AM SAD.
who is the dude with the gray top hat?
Gary Oldman Dracula.
I don’t like Twilight for many reasons. Sparkly vampires is not one of them. Frankly, all the old vampires were 2 dimensional and boring as all getout. The sparkly ones aren’t any less boring and 2 dimensional but at least having more *types* of vampires offers the illusion of depth for the whole.
I like the Alucards “I dont want to be here” face
OK, incase anyone has not gotten the damn “elephant in the room” level of obviousness when it comes to vampires, they’re all fictional! Whats more, there is an entire Omniverse of infinity, limitless other parallel and alternate universes with everything, and there isn’t even one version of a single canon universe, even those are split up into infinite parallel versions of themselves, existence is Infinity times Infinity ^ Infinity, and thats everything you can and cannot possibly imagine put together times endless, that means, there are both CLASSIC Vampires like Nosferatu (Whom isn’t actually even accurately based on the ORIGINAL Bram Stroker’s Dracula Novel, that one wasn’t as vulnerable to Sunlight as Hollywood Portrayed their Vampires), and there are new-age vampires like Nos-4-A2 from Buzz Lightyear of Star Command cartoon (a robotic electrical energy draining vampire), Sympaths from Black Dagger Brotherhood and the other species from their universe, True Blood Vampires, Buffy the Vampire Slayer kind in their universe, and finally the so called “sparkly gaybo” Twilight Vampires, which I actually found to be a very interesting and a good series. I think there is an unfair hatred of Twilight Vampires when their existence isn’t meant to nullify and supplant the existence of other universe’s and their vampires, they exist independently in their own universes and never cross paths unless some extremely powerful villain with hyper advanced technology or a reality warper or person with advanced space-time manipulation powers can create portals to connect unrelated universes together intentionally or by accident, and that usually only happens in fanfictions (which most of are often poorly written to boot), thus this fight over Classic Vampires versus The Twilight Vampires is entirely moot and just ridiculous, and though I found this comic page to be hilarious, I speak out against the real world arguments that never cease, the flame-wars about Twilight and their kind of Vampires. Besides, who the fuck cares about arguing over which kind of “Vampire” is coolest? Those creatures are nowhere near as manly as Saiyans, their entire race is like a race of Super Chuck Norris/Marlon Brando/Commander Badass hybrids! If you want a real battle of manliness, have the Saiyans fight against some manly guys doing manly things (if this comic ever comes out of retirement that is).
I love how you even added Alucard :D