And that’s how Jared got a PhD in petting animals
December 22, 2013
1:41 am
Sorry the site was down for a couple days, looks like it was DreamHost maintenance.
Manly Guys Doing Manly Things
Updated Mondays or whenever I feel like it
How can the Commander be a fighting type if he’s weak to bug types?
The kid probably doesn’t know that.
He’s not weak to Bug Types. He simply has the Rattled ability. Of course, this means dark and ghost types have the same effect on him though…
He’s Fighting/Psychic because he travels through time to beat himself up and steal his own coffee. Bug beats Psychic (for really strong values of Bug).
Commander is clearly Ground type.
Strong against (free range) Fire and (alcoholic) Poisons. Weak against Bugs and Grass. Particularly bugs that wander around in the grass, and then into his daughter’s bedroom, and from there into his shirt.
Ground isn’t weak to bugs. I’m going to vote Rock/Psychic, and I had paragraphs typed up as to why but the site told me I was posting too quickly despite this being my only post of the day and ate my logic. ;^; Long story short: a big rough appearance and time travel powers, plus a lot of accurate weaknesses and resistances with a few weaknesses and one resistance being at least moderately justifiable.
No, but bug resists ground, therefore ground attacks are weak when attacking a bug.
People get this stuff confused a lot, but the comparison is still legit, that bug has an advantage over ground types.
Ground *also* isn’t “strong against fire”.
There is, in fact, no single type weak to both bug and grass. In fact, there is no combination of two types that fits the four constraints Andrew gave.
Correction, isn’t strong against fire in a defensive sense.
If you consider all of Andrew’s constraints as an *offensive* type, rather than defensive, then ground indeed fits everything Andrew said.
But I don’t see why Andrew would do that, because pokemon attacks don’t necessarily have *anything* to do with the type of the pokemon using them, so the Commander being ground type would be irrelevant to what Andrew said. This isn’t the card game, where every attack is the same type as the pokemon using it….
Regarding the Pokemon using the attack, (a) in rare cases even the cards require different energy types and (b) it’s still worth considering what Commander would be defensively weak against.
Humans tend to not like being set on fire, so it still works
Dan McNinja being the obvious exception.
Perhaps the man needs his own type. Legendary Fighting Psychic Ground Badass type.
Give him enough time and he’ll probably fly too.
Ninjas can’t catch you if you’re on fire. Just ask Dan McNinja
YOU ARE NOT THE TRUE KEVIN C. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
NO I’M KEVIN C.
I’m Spartacus.
I AM SPAR- whoops, wrong thread, sorry.
No I’m Spartacus!
(Actually my name is also Kevin C, but I always go by Zathael)
My vote goes for Fighting/Ground or Fighting/Rock.
I’m not really too familiar with all the type strengths/weaknesses, but remember this; the Commander is also strong against Fire types.
Free ranch fire is pretty badass.
*range…. damn it.
No no, tell us more about free ranch fire too. It sounds like the next big thing at Taco Bell.
I would, but I prefer blue cheese with my fiery buffalo wings.
Commander is a fighting type because he is buff-looking.
I love how he keeps calling him “fancy white Ganondorf”. Though, I feel like the comic would’ve loved a beat between Jared leaving and Ash appearing.
I wonder what kind of Pokemon Jared would give out.
Betta fish
Does this mean he’s now Professor Jared?
Greetings, my name is Professor Jared and welcome to great, big world of Pokemon.
Here you will find many strange and exotic creatures called Poke… NO MR. FISHY DON’T EAT THOSE THOSE POKEMON ARE FOR THE KIDS!!! NO DON’T EAT THE KIDS EITHER!?!?! BAD MR FISHY! BAD BAD BAD MR. FISHY!!!
…ugh, I’m a terrible Pokemon Professor
I’d assume “Professor Kowalski”, ‘cuz Kowalski must be some kinda tree.
Well, Google says there’s a Kowalski tree service company in Florida. Close enough for me.
I am still a little shocked Jared is Polish.
He’s not, he’s from Kanto.
“Kowalski”, that is Polish.
Because Orchid (Oak’s Japanese name), who is also from Kanto, is suuuuuch a Japanese name….
So Kanto is a country with no immigrant population? Or rather never had anyone that had immigrated to it at some point?
Its Poke-Tokyo Region. Have you ever checked Japan’s ethnic composition? Wikipedia:
98.5% ethnic Japanese
0.5% Korean
0.4% Chinese
0.6% Other
And most of those non-Ethnic Japanese are probably in the urban capital region, aka Kanto.
So… Finneon?
@Pompom
I think it’ll be Magikarps….or any “fish” like pokes
When is Mr. Fish going to Mega Evolve don’t play with my emotions like this
Maybe when Canada takes him out to wrestle a herd of moose or something.
I love Commander’s reaction in this though.
It’s up to Coelasquid ^_^
Jared would need to get a Mega Ring, first.
the commanders face in the penultimate panel is priceless!!!!
So true XD his face in the last panel is pretty good too. Anyone else think there should be a *poink* when the pokeball bounces off his face? No? Oh, ok then.
is it just me, or does that 10 year old look like he was drawn by egoraptor?
Egoraptor much?
Figured that image was taken direct from the game (or cartoon or manga,or at least not drawn by the Coela)
Dude, you really don’t know how official Pokemon art looks?
And that you’re insulting the artist by suggesting she didn’t produce her own drawing?
Was not intended to be an insult, and no, apart from Pokemon Green (or was it Blue?) only ‘contact’ with Pokemon has been the TV series
Nah, if you look closely at the artwork, you can tell it was supposed to be less flattering than an official drawing would be. Notice the protruding belly and otherwise dwarfish physique.
I can kind of see the resemblance:
But MGDMT isn’t known for using stock images the way Homestuck is. It’d be out of character for Coelasquid not to have drawn the “Ash” in the comic herself.
I can tell you were kinda joking so I’m not gonna jump down your throat, but your joke is kind of out of place.
Uh… okay that link formatting went horribly wrong, but I intended to link to a screencap of the Egoraptor version of Ash above.
Are you sure? Really, really sure?
This comic has become even more awesome then i’d expected. Also are Pokemon trainer kids so out of it that they can’t recognize non trainer humans anymore?
Yes
When have they ever met a non-trainer human? Apart from Ash’s really hot mother?
What are you talking about?? I always dreamed Ash’s mom was some sort of retired uber bad ass Gym Leader, or something like that.
Also Commander is very muscly and large… I imagine he does look somewhat like a monster to a 10yo just leaving home. BTW, if I thought I could put commander in a pokeball and take him home I would definitely try.
Probably not the safest idea in town!
I think we all forget that this is exactly what Ash did when he first met Misty. He launched a PokeBall at her head.
Delia has a Mr. Mime.
Yeah but she obtained it over the course of the series, I believe shortly before/after the Kanto League. That is hardly evidence for her being a trainer, especially since she didn’t actually capture it.
It’s obvious that Ash’s DAD was a trainer though, wherever the hell he is.
Isn’t it obvious? He’s the one behind Team Rocket
So Giovanni is Ash’s dad, and the whole thing with Jesse and James is just fatherly affections to toughen up his ten year old son?
Or, he’s entirely unaware of Ash’s existence, and Team Rocket goes after Ash out of blind, dumb luck. Although, arguably, if Red’s “origins” are the same as Ash’s, and Ash is Giovanni’s bastard son, that means he would be Silver’s half-brother. Weird.
@Guesticus: Dibs on anime’s hot moms!!
I think after a while (probably around gen 4-5) trainers stopped trying to keep track of Pokemon and just assume everything is a Pokemon until they throw balls at it.
I think this could work as a chat-up line. “Hi, are you a pokemon? Because I’d love to throw my balls at you.”
Nope that line does not work dared my friend to do it i’ve never seen a guy so close to spinning in the air from a slap.
For the love of Mr. Fish, tell me that there is a video of that.
Please do i want to see it as well
Well, Jared has made an achievement in life. All he needs now is a lab, and a bunch of underage interns to study pocket monsters.
As long as he didn’t disturb their school life… ^^;; You know kids these days can’t separate their play time with their study time.
Those degrees maybe are worth something to his parents. Or some relatives at least should we ever get a Jared family reunion story.
That kid must be a super noob, I don’t even play pokemon and I know you have to weaken them before you can catch them, he just threw the thing without even attacking once XD It woulda been funny to watch CB wrestle with a pokemon.
To be fair, if he’s going to see a professor, he might not have any Pokemon or have gotten the catching tutorial yet.
And where is professor Jared going to get these Pokemon to give away?
The better question is: How does he prevent Mr Fish eating them before he can give them away?
Health care?
This remains the best reason for anything ever.
That is simple….
1.) tell the kids they cant have more then 6 pokemon in a team and give them a teleporting device which sends any 7th pokemon that gets into the team to your storage.
2.) use a Computer system to access said storage
3.) take any pokemon in the box as a replacement for the handout pokemon
alternative: since your smart enough to create a working teleporter you invent a working cloning machine.
Because cloning always goes so well in Pokemon.
Are you even allowed to have pokeballs before you get your first pokemon?
Ash/very Ashlike trainer doesn’t play by the rules.
one does not simply weaken CB
Yeah, if he’s going to do that he should have at least used a Quick Ball!
We need a picture of CB squaring off against a Machamp. Like, right now.
That poor, poor Machamp.
Quite. Coela, if you find a way to make this happen, we will all literally worship you. :P
^Seconded. It’ll a curb-stomping battle. & Commander is the one who’s stompin’.
Commanders face in panel 6 is just.. the greatest. (narrowly avoided the jar)
My sides, they hurt from laughing XD
So does this mean that Jared’s parents can’t be ashamed of him any more?
He doesn”t make any money. And if he did, he would be a sellout or something. Some parents just can’t have “good enough”.
Jared may be overqualified, he can tell the difference between a boy and a girl.
Finally. That is all. ;w;
Someone make a pixel-art of Professor Kowalski NOW!
A few things came to me reading todays post (both the comic itself and the comments)
Firstly: always imagined CoDass using that gap in his teeth to hold the cigar
Nextly: did he drop said cigar in his lap in the last panel, and that is why his face has that “Oh crap! Roasting man-nuts again!” look
Thusly: is it just me who mentally pictures a furry teddybear with 6 tentacly limbs that likes to hang around in trees and drop on unsuspecting tourists when they read the name of the very talented author/artist?
No, see, that’s a Koalasquid.
Or as the locals call them, “Drop Squids”
How come that I understood “CoDass” as “Call Of Duty: Ass”?
Best. Hentai. Game. Evar.
Someone has to make that game, and then someone has to make a cheap knock-off version of it that is even more about the ‘Ass’
Jared might be a no-longer-licensed Trainer, but he’s easily smarter than the majority of Trainers and Professors… there’s a really funny contradiction in there, but I can’t put it into words.
This is simply wonderful.
I hope that Jared’s girlfriend has a tree for a last name, so that they can get married, he can take her name, and he can have a tree last name.
Jared Kowalski-Eucalyptus
See, this is why you shouldn’t let 10 year olds on a magical journey of friendship and self-discovery just walk into any building or home they fancy.
If one manages to sneak in anyway, just say a random piece of trivia about your location and repeat whenever it tries talking to you. Eventually it should give up and walk away.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
YOU DON’T THROW POKEBALLS WITHOUT WEAKENING THE POKEMON FIRST.
Commander Badass might just be worth spending the Master Ball on, though.
What kind of idiot goes up against a pokemon without a pokemon? Besides professors and that guy from Gen 3 pokemon.
Now Mr Fish can feed himself, what with the constant stream of 10-year-olds coming in.
That has got to be the least fit would-be Pokémon trainer I have ever seen.
PROFESSOR KOWALSKI CONFIRMED IN POKEMON Z.
C’mon. You know you want it.
The trainer in the last panel looks a little like a character styled after a person drawn by Matthew Inman from the Oatmeal.
Will Jared’s relationship with his family get better? Will he get his xbox back?
Jared, that’s your “Heroic Supervillain-Sensing Skill”. All secondary protagonists have it.
Except for Prof. Sycamore.
I can’t decide how the commander would react to this. On the one hand, he IS used to dealing with kids, on the other he is ALSO a badass space marine with all the associated reflexes. Having someone unexpectedly pop up and throw a small round metal object at your face while yelling could set off some of his less than kid friendly reflexes.
CB has pretty good impulse control. He’ll probably just glare at the kid and, assuming said kid doesn’t spontaneously combust, everything will be all right.
So… is he like “Dr. Jared Kowalski” now?
Professor Jared Kowalski.
I’m just gonna file “FatAsh” under Pokemon fanboy and let it go.
Oh crap. Jared is gonna have kids coming to the agency to learn about pokemon. Which means sooner or later, one of them is going to run in to Kratos.
…. This will not end well.
*Little boy comes in with a Mr.Mime*
*Kratos sees it*
*Kratos runs away screaming in fear*
Sees what? The kid or the Mr Mime?
The ending seems all too appealing in my view here.
Hmm Commander Vs Masterball now comes to mind.
If this is the beginning of a storyline where Jared leaves the agency to pursue his own thing I will cry and cry and cry…….. And cry and cry and cry and cry.
Okay. Okay, okay.
I have never posted before, but I just gotta say. This may be the best page you’ve ever done. Jared as a Pokemon Professor is definitely something I want to see more of, as well as how he tells his asshole family. But the supreme genious of this particular page is the pokeball bouncing off the head.
I’m still laughing! That face!!!!
Fancy white ganondorf sounds like something you’d find on a cheese plate.
Or a really bad Leonard Cohen filk.
Its four in the morning the 12th of October
I’m waiting in line just to catch them all over
Its really cold but I like where I’m sitting
The lights in the Best Buy window light up my kindle
And I hear that you can start with some kinda fox thing
I’m playing for nothing now. I hope you’re keeping some kind of record
You, good person, win all my yes. Have a free internet.
I just found this comic. I must say it was really hard not to laugh and wake everyone in my house up at 5 in the morning.
I really hope we see Jared parent’s reactions to his new professor status in the near future. Or just in the future really.
Jared being a Pokemon Professor really is the best thing ever. Just the idea of that totally made my day.
You are proof that Some Men Just Want to Watch the World Burn.
awww …i hope commander is not jealous of another “father” rivaling his influence in jared’s life!
I dunno does the Commander classify as a Ursaring or a Teddyursa?
Are you kidding? He’s clearly the local equivalent of Machamp or Conkeldurr.
I see CB as more of a Machoke kinda guy.
I get more of a palkia or darkrei vibe from CB
Where will Professor Kowalski get the Magikarp to start trainers off on their journeys, though?
Unless Mr. Fish is actually a Mrs. Fish…
Well. That’s not- … I don’t think I can effectively decide whether or not I really, really want that to be true. Let’s go with “yes”. xD
Even if Mr. Fish is a lady, I think Jared’s going to insist on calling her Mr. Fish anyway.
I’m pretty sure I can make up the dialogue for Commander badass’s thoughts
First panel: “I’m pretending to care because this kid needs a father figure.”
Second Panel: “oh okay, so just like every other “bad guy” I’ve met.”
Third and Fourth Panels: “Wait, What?”
Fifth Panel: “yeah, whatever kid.”
Sixth Panel: “what.”
Seventh and final Panel: “TH’FUCK?!”
Should of used an ultra ball
Commander Duck Face? That’s all I can think of in the second to last panel.
Does he get a bunch of lab-coat wearing lackeys now that he can order to track ten year olds across the country in order to give them gifts depending on how many pokemon they’ve caught?
Those games are weird.
I hypothesize that Jared will make trainers choose between Magikarp, Feebas, and Basculin as starters.
“Don’t chose basculin, he’s an evolutionary dead end”
Jared you would be a great Pokeprof.
Jared’s hair is getting so lushious
A wild Walker was spotted!
Ash uses Pokeball!
It’s not very effective…
Walker uses White Phosphorus!
It’s super corrosive!
Ash has been immolated!
Walker can now learn “COGNITIVE DISSONANCE!”
Happy holidays to Coelasquid, the Commander, Jared, and all the other characters, and to all other fans of TPIM!! <3
I am really, REALLY impressed. That kid ( Ash, i assume?) sure got balls to throw a pokeball at Commander Badass’ head. Sure, he’s a kid. A bratty half-pint. & wow, Commander himself probably won’t take it seriously by thinking, “he’s a kid.”. But boy, learn some MANNERS, for God sake. Let’s hope her mom finds out. Yeeeessss…
So, if Jared’s a Pokemon Professor now, does that mean he can get his Trainer’s license reinstated?
Professor Kowalski only gives magikarp out for starter pokemon. He will go on at great lengths to describe the personalities of each of the three starter magikarp, as well as their favorite foods and activities.
It use to be you could tell if something was a pokemon. Oh shit, it’s an ice-cream cone, throw a poke-ball! A mall goth? Throw a poke ball!
Their reflection in the mirror? Throw a pokeball!
Well, to be fair, Generation one gives us “A Pokeball! Throw another Pokeball at it!” or “A pool of gunk! throw a Pokeball at it!” or even “A Mime! Throw a Pokeball at it!”
I bet Ganondorf would be pretty offended to hear the Commander call Lysandre “Fancy White Ganondorf” because it kind of implies the original isn’t fancy.
And our good MGDMT rendition of Ganondorf is fancy as HELL. (in my opinion)
Maybe some of the other Manly Guys would qualify as White Ganondorf, but aren’t nearly as fancy?
Come to think of it, I’d actually like to see a full plot where Jared’s actually forced to mentor trainers. It’d be interesting to see how he handles sudden responsibility.
Professor Jared, who researches pokemon. I love it =)
This comic just keeps getting better and better, I’ve ran out of people to share it with
Heh, I kinda want to do a Jared playthrough of one of the pokemon games where I only use a magikarp/Gyrados. It could be epic.
Jar. Money. In it. Now.
Just please at least draw Jared with a lab coat from now on.
Did you know you can just buy lab coats?
Commander’s expression in the last two panels = PRICELESS
This page just gets funnier every time I read it.
but– but he can’t be a professor!
There’s no tree named ‘kowalski’!
(though this region wouldn’t be a main-series region, so there’s precedent if this is a spinoff-game region in Krane, Hastings, and whoever the Trozei prof guy was.)
I vote to Commander’s face in the second to last panel be put on a T-Shirt.
If he’s a(n honorary) Poke-Prof now, at what point does Jared lose the ability to distinguish between male and female kids?
Or the names of grandkids or neighbor kids he’s ostensibly known all his life?
And I have no idea what the hell starters a guy like Jared would have.
I bet at least two are Klefki and Trubbish.
Instead, he gives kids a keyring of keys he doesn’t know what they’re for anymore, and a literal bag of trash he was supposed to take out three weeks ago. Using those items/pokemon, the kids that get them will use Poke-Prof Kowalski’s smake-the-other-guy’s-pokemon method to get to the Elite 4. And win. This is particularly understandable when the kid that got “Trubbish” decided to fill it with doorknobs and rocks.
Would the next strip possibly be something out of “Pokémon RUSTY”?
Where he actually disappears into the Pokéball and discovers what the inside of it is like? XD
‘m going to go and draw some fan art….
GAHDDAMMIT ASH. Stop being so EMBARRASSING.
Almost 3 years before its release you announced Pokemon Go
Bollocks misread the text…. this is embarrassing.
I always found Machoke incredibly creepy because it realllly does look like a human man in a speedo except for the head. And the females look exactly the same as the males. >.<
Commander DOES sorta resemble a machoke with clothes and a blonde wig, let's be honest.
Has that kid not seen other humans before or something?