It’s an Axe Cop Joke, That’s the punchline.
May 9, 2013
7:36 am
Castlevania Mirror of Fate was pretty fun gameplay-wise but I couldn’t help but feel like the explanation for all of Alucard’s magical vampire powers seemed a little like it was perhaps invented by a five year old and programmed into the story by their thirty year old brother.
As much as everyone complained that this Castlevania reboot “ruined the franchise” I enjoyed it overall. The three main characters were kind of overly-samey for my tastes to the point that I kept accidentally attacking Alucard instead of Dracula because frankly he looked more menacing but I dug that kind of toon-shaded comic book style thing they had going on.
Her expression in the fourth panel is just perfection!
Yeah, you can tell she’s a chip off the old block. :)
Yep, all she needs is to have her nose broken & reset a few dozen times, then she’ll look just like her Ol’ Man. That might take a few months though.
I even think the Commander has passed down enough testosterone that she’ll even start to grow that 5 o’clock shadow when she hits puberty…
That is a little creepy.
Are you saying the Commander’s DNA is has testosterone, the hormone, in it?
That sounds very likely actually.
Couldn’t get any more macho than that, could you? ;)
Nooo~ I want June become a hot chick~!! XD
You watch your mouth boy. She might become hot one day, but you will have to whisper that word very far away from her father…
Then i’ll have to practice to impress Commander B… I think…
Also, you’d be old by the time that happens.
Then i’ll just have to “kidnap” future June back to the past & matchmake her with my past self XDDDDDDD.
No, wait! Commander, i was jok-….
*pulverized*
Didn’t we already see what they look like grown up back in that thing with the movie with all the people in it? Where Commander says “And that’s why this is gonna be the best movie ever created no matter how bad it is.”
Wow, because this is definitely the place for misogyny.
No, but apparently this is the place to miss sarcasm…
Yes, because joking about comic characters is misogyny. Go back to tumblr.
Honestly, Herm kind of has a point. June may be a comic character, but she’s still a representation of a female. After all, why not go after adult Sammy? Why not make jokes about non-consentual relationships with that character?
Not to put a hole in your boat or anything, it wasn’t “dreamed up” by the devs or any writer that was living when it was made, it was an old superstition in both Japanese and European lore, that if you come in contact with the blood of a demon, you are corrupted in some way. Didn’t you watch Princess Mononoke? Literally based on an old story. Whether or not it was dreamed up by a five year old then, that is indiscernible.
There’s a differece between “he got demon blood on him and was corrupted” and “a claw thing bled on me and now I have claws and a wing thing bled on me and now I have wings and a dinosaur bled on me and now I’m a dinosaur and I ate an avocado and now I’m an avocado”
I’m a particular fan of “I ate a lemon and now my axe has a lemon on the corner of its edge.”
Then I got set on fire so now I have lemon grenades.
Someone call Cave Johnson. Quick!
THE ARBITER WOULD LIKE SOME LEMON GRENADES! :D
You know I can almost see that becoming competition for Angry birds… Mighty Morphin Avacados!
Oh no- I ate an avacado today and now I want to share your beautiful quote with my friends. You know, before I turn into an avacado myself.
Was it a demon avocado?
Worse, it was the Devil’s Avocado.
Get out.
Man, I started at the bottom and scrolled up, and I was almost hopeful that I’d get to the top without a pedantic, “Actually….” comment, but here we are.
Personally, this strip made me laugh out loud, as I hadn’t played the game, but the video game logic is familiar, and I hadn’t made the connection from that to Ax Cop before. There’s a lot of similarities between video game logic five year old logic.
Dude, get off your high horse, I was just making a point. I was hoping I could shed some light on the reasoning behind it, but instead I get people crying about getting access to information. Just relax and either take it in or just don’t read.
Now, now. There’s no reason Axel has to get off his high horse when you’re on your high horse just because you’re feeling defensive. Everybody should be able to ride their horses whenever they want.
Wow you’re hilarious and totally right!
Iam gonna save your post as a quote. With reference ofcourse
Man, I’m super late noticing this and replying, but anyway… for the record, it’s possible to provide information relevant to a joke, without acting like that information will cancel it out or assuming that anyone making the joke must be unaware of this revelation. Because when a joke is, “Wow this really sounds like X!” and you respond, “No, it’s not actually X”, that comes off as pedantic and smug.
For example, instead of saying something like, “Not to put a hole in your boat or anything,” or, “it wasn’t ” you could just lead with, “Interestingly….” and then say something interesting.
Not to put a hole in your boat or anything, but making a joke that the logic in Mirror of Fate is similar to Axe Cop doesn’t mean that you actually believe that the brothers Nicolle were on the development team.
It does seem rather Kirby-esque.
Wasn’t there an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer about that? The one where she gets telepathy and it almost kills her?
So, please, bleed on me. I need a manlier jaw.
Jared, get out of the comment section
^LOLs XDDDDDDDDDD
Are they…in a bistro? Is that what that sign says?
Also, what Plum said about her “I TOLD YOU, DAD, GOD” expression. +1
Awww… The Commander is usually such a cool dad but smoking in front of his little kid just seems weird. =/
My father, mother, sister and brother (both of them are 10 and 13 years older than me) smoked in front of me and I haven’t even lit a cigarette in my 22 year long life.
Nothing wrong with that, as long as you make sure the kid is aware of the damages smoking causes to you body and that it’s a bad habit.
What if it’s a future cigar without any of that bad stuff?
Secondhand smoke is not so good a thing for people to be exposed to for a long time.
But I’m also betting on future cigar with all the taste and no cancer.
Actually, it is proven that second hand smoke is actually good for children, shown in studies to reduce the risks of asthma, lower cholesterol, and increase the bodies immune response. Look it up. And yes, I’m a smoker, but no, I could care less whether it was healthy or not. Just stumbled on this info about 4 months ago and couldn’t help sharing it because of the comments….. which actually means by smoking around her he is making her tougher lol
Dante, that’s total bull. I don’t know who told you that but they’re talking out of their arse. One of my parents used to smoke in the house while I was a small child. After my little brother was hospitalised by a severe asthma attack the doctors notified welfare and they threatened to take my brothers and I into care if aforementioned parent didn’t stop smoking in the house. After the indoor smoking stopped the asthma started improving. Long story short, concentrated second hand smoke is very bad for kids. If you have kids, do not smoke in a room with them. Seriously.
Nonsense
That is complete and total nonsense. It is also not unheard of for doctors to suggest ciggerettes as a possible cause, same as mold, even though neither one has been proven to cause any health issues.
You think concentrated second hand smoke and mold haven’t been proven to pose a risk to health? Are you intentionally ignorant or just really really stupid?
Some people just shouldn’t breed.
Let me google an entire page of Google Scholar on the effects of secondhand smoke for you:
https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&q=secondhand+smoke&as_sdt=1%2C18&as_sdtp=&oq=secondhand+
His fire is tame. Presumably his smoke is all primary.
I dunno why, but I usually don’t even notice that he smokes. I think this one is a litle weird as well, even though the joke is quite funny.
Oh, please. I’m a militant non-smoker in my home but saying somebody is a bad daddy because he is smoking and “giving a bad example” is political-correctness-shit of the first degree. Political correctness is some 1984 (the novel) worthy excuse to impose a lousy neo-con attitude on people. It’s everything else but “correctness”.
I’m not saying he’s setting a bad example or being bad, just that smoking with your kids present isn’t really cool in my book. I know a lot of parents who smoke who don’t smoke indoors with their children due to secondhand smoke issues, that’s all.
Indeed. As someone with a smoking dad, I can tell from experience that the smoke you inhale when sitting on someone’s lap is quite unpleasant.
(But again, the comic is good; this cigar thing is just a minor nitpick)
Not exposing kids to carcinogens is “politically correct” now? Wow.
Seriously, dude, this has nothing to do with “oh noes, now little Johnny will think smoking is okay.” Second-hand smoke is bad for kids’ (and adults’) health in a whole bunch of ways. I’m not saying anyone who smokes around kids is EVUL; my own dear Dad smoked indoors ’til I was 10 or so. It’s just that people don’t know that they’re hurting their kids.
So, anyway, back on topic, I was going to say “smoking around your kid? Not cool, Commander” but now that it’s turned into a whole big thing I’m gonna go with the “magic spacefuture cigar” theory instead.
“It’s just that people don’t know that they’re hurting their kids.”
Not to sound like a ass, but people do know what they are doing, for the last 20 years we haven’t been able to get away from ads, flyers, infomercials, etc.etc.
there is so much talk about how bad smoking is for people. so there is no reason to say that people don’t know their hurting their kids, they do but are choosing to ignore the fact
My mom smoked all my young life and finally quit when she was an adult. I don’t smoke. Don’t buy that parents who smoke have children who smoke, it’s not true. Sure, I imagine there are some kids that smoke after seeing their parents smoke, but the majority of us have had to deal with the winter drive and the window down. Cigarette smoke stinks, and especially with the prices they’re asking for it’s too fricking expensive to take up the habit. There’s a million reasons not to smoke.
I’m not too worried about him smoking in front of her.
Am I the only one curious as to where the heck they are that they can actually smoke inside?
Not everyone lives in America.
Are YOU going to tell Commander Badass and his demon looking buddy what he can and cannot do? They are paying and nondestructive customers for the moment. I assume they’re paying and not just demanding a free meal at least.
Also some places have a smoking section still right?
My father also smoked almost all his life (quit once, returned, then quit for good 20 years ago – using only willpower!).. I tried once, hated it, never tried again. Years ago at a costume party I felt how a cigar can smell (the guy was costumed as Wolverine, no less – he deserved 1st place).
Now I see that all my closest friends are non-smokers (if any does, it’s away from me and I don’t notice the telltale signs) ^_^
One thing I like to do is get those candy sticks and eat them like I was smoking them. It amuses me that a drunk guy might freak out and tell his friends all about seeing this new brand of cigarettes that are bright pink or blue with white stripes all over it. Sure, they would correct him, but for a few minutes of his drunken life, mind blown.
I’m with Sam on this’n. I don’t think it makes the Commander a bad person or a bad father, but it is a wee bit irresponsible to smoke a big ol’ stogue inches away from your kid.
Future cigars and all, look, they’re letting him smoke in a restaurant and everything.
And I’m sure they’re all up to date on their spacefuture cancer vaccinations and their spacefuture lung clarity vaccinations.
Commander’s kids were born in the spacefuture?
His wife is also from the Spacefuture.
Whoah.
Can we expect to see this in a comic sometime? It wasn’t already mentioned, was it?
I was wondering about that.
Mind = blew
^You mean mind screw?
That too XD Though I ment “mind=blown” apparently.
It never occurred to me that Commander’s ex may be a time traveler too.
ex wife I thought..?
yeah.
Does her professional pillowfighting take place in zero-G?
THIS I want to see. Like… Like Ender’s Game only sexier
Ya’ know, I’d even be willing to wager that the Commander could go into space wearing a red shirt & SURVIVE…
HAHAHA Star Trek referrence ftw.
Or maybe they’re powerful electronic cigars he has for indoor consumption – E-Gars?
…He didn’t intend to light it I think he just likes the taste… it just so happens he’s just so manly when he put it in his mouth it lit aflame all it’s own.
Yeah, we’ve already seen how well he can train fire into obedience.
An Axe Cop Joke in Manly Guys? So much macho!
This gives me great joy.
Commander and Axe Cop don’t really come into contact, since Axe Cop has a steady job.
To be fair, it sounds plenty like something out of mythology, there’s plenty of mythical heroes who got powers from the blood of something they killed. And it also works well with the ol’ ‘He who fights monsters, beware, lest you become a monster’ thing.
And the thing about how some people believed that eating certain parts of an animal or enemy would give you some aspect of them, like eating someone’s heart to gain their courage.
Their rich, tasty courage. *licks lips*
Not going to lie…I thought this was Legacy of Cain when I first saw it.
You know what I don’t hate? Those pigtails. If you were to keep those on her for as long as possible without crossing the line into “full grown crazy woman in pigtails”, we would all probably support you in this.
TL:DR – Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute.
Oh my god, I love Axe Cop. I thought I was the only one.
I just wish I had kept up the the Castlevania series… but maybe it’s better I haven’t.
Lord of Shadows rebooted the series; anything that happened before it “doesn’t matter anymore”
Castlevania mythology had few retcons before that, too. Sonia Belmont was pretty much erased right after her first appearance. Nathan Graves also was erased for a bit, but they brought him back and claimed his whip was not the Vampire Killer. The N64 games were erased, but brought back after the werewolf was used in Castlevania Judgment. We’ll have to see how the future plays out to see if other games will be allowed into the reboot or if the reboot will end up being erased, too.
Mirror of Fate? Why have I never heard of this one before now?
Son of a… Now I need to buy a 3DS, and I passed up a really good deal on one just a couple months ago.
You really shouldn’t, not for this game. You should at least look it up first.
BLASPHEMY! My collection is incomplete again!
If I can own Castlevania Judgement, I can own Mirror of Fate as well!
I agree that you shouldn’t get one JUST for that game. However, you should definitely get one if other games on the system look good to you. I finally caved and bought one 3 months or so ago and it has become one of the greatest purchases I have ever made. And with the big 3DS push from Nintendo it just keeps getting better.
Honestly all I’ve been using my 3DS for lately are original Gameboy games like Super Mario 2 and Wario Land, I bought it for Pokemon because target was having a big sale and I figured if I was going to have to buy one in September anyway I might as well get it while it was $40 off.
Might just be me, but are you drawing everyone prettier?
I politely register my disagreement with your opinion that Mirror of Fate wasn’t a godawful piece of trash, and that Lords of Shadow did not kill the franchise.
And I politely do not care what you think at all.
Clearly you cared enough to comment.
Also, how rude. I didn’t say anything negative about you or your comic. Are you really that much of a fan of Mirror of Fate that you felt the need to respond with a personal insult?
One that’s not a personal insult unless strangers caring about your opinions is somehow crucial to your identity in which case I’m sorry but you should probably see someone about that because it certainly sounds like a wee bit of clinical narcissism and two, it’s not really any less rude than what you said.
“Hey, this thing got bad press but I liked it”
“Well I disagree I think it was a piece of shit and ruined everything Castlevania”
What reaction were you expecting? “Oh yes hmm the way you call it a godawful piece of trash really makes me reconsider my opinions top notch logic thank you internet stranger I’ve never met that was a very thoughtful evaluation”
You’re certainly entitled to blindly dislike whatever you want, but you can’t really expect it to have any bearing on my life.
It certainly killed the continuity; that’d be a much easier point to make. As far as gameplay, seems to be an agreed upon “7/10”. Seems like a fine game in its own right, but it’s not a Castlevania game. Or atleast not any of the three other styles of Castlevania games that existed and were beloved
It’s a complete reimagining. Saying it killed the continuity is like saying Red Son ruined Superman continuity. “what if it was Castlevania but the Belmonts were the Vampires” Capcom Elseworlds.
True, but I do hope they go back to making Castlevania games taking place in the regular continuity. I have such good memories with the old games and it seems silly to throw out nearly 30 years worth games and story just for the new universe.
DC Comics called, they think Konami are noobs at this.
Yeah, DC did the smart thing by alienating people before they rebooted. Nobody ended up caring about either universe, except for the animated, theatrical, and video game ones.
Seems like a good person to keep as a test for inheritable powers from the whole crew there. Everything from Kratos to the Commander himself is needing to be tested. FOR SCIENCE!
What I want to know is–how was it that Junebug heard about this guy before the Commander did? Was she hanging out in the offices after school? Because if so, CUTEST THING EVER. I love the image of the Commander’s kids just playing on the floor surrounded by giant terrifying manly killing machines, and everyone’s having a grand ol’ time playing Legos or something.
Oh no, not the Legos! Those are the equivalent of giving land mines to toddlers! If you’ve ever been barefoot & stepped on one, you’ll KNOW that these evil things were designed specifically to CRIPPLE the unwary!
Why is it until now I’ve been reading Commander’s in a really grizzled tone, but suddenly I started reading it in Patrick Warburton’s? I do feel like it fits better than what I was hearing though.
As much as I like Warburton I would hate him as Commander.
Oh my God, I was not expecting a response from you. I was just expecting a bunch of other fans to agree or not. Today is gonna be awesome.
Would you be opposed to Warburton with a thick accent to compensate?
I wasn’t aware he could do accents
I sure hope he can, after all, he IS a prominent voice actor.
I sort of figured he just had the one setting Kronk/Brock/Joe Swanson type thing going for him.
Yeah, that is his standby. But I bet if someone dug a little deeper, they’d find some cool other voices.
He can probably do a lot, but he just gets cast for his voice, which is distinguishable from pretty much everyone else.
Yeah, and I’d love to hear him branch out more. But y’know, people want that signature sound, I guess…
This is wonderful and the most adorable way to get to that punchline.
You know, it is my belief that the Commander is well aware that his child is there and thus is not smoking a present day cigar, but instead a non-descript future cigar where the smoke is completely harmless.
Aah, its a scary world when people are so quick to condemn smoking in fiction. Guess a whole lot of Nick Fury panels and Humphrey Bogart scenes are gonna need editing. ‘Sides, Commander’s prolly got bigger concerns regardin’ his kids safety.
It reminds me of my old man going into some sorta panic whenever a pair of breasts appeared on the tv screen… but it was perfectly fine for me to watch Rambo shoot a guys head off with an exploding arrow.
Hi, I’m actually one of the game developers and yeah, the thing is kind of funny put that way (now I regret Alucard not fighting the Succubuss)
And I’m actually pleased to read about people liking the game. whatever the final result was, we put our hearts and souls into it to do our best. so.. thanks
Man, that’s awesome! If there’s one thing I can say about it, I had enough fun playing the game to beat it which is more than I can say for other Castlevanias titles I’ve played and kind of wandered off on halfway through.
ahahaha, I actually had a couple strips like this I was planning on doing because it was my first 3DS game game and I got it right before I went on a trip, so I ended up playing nonstop on a couple cross-country plane rides.
For what it’s worth, I love the reboot and have played LoS twice and am currently into MoF in a huge way. The controls and environments had great continuity from LoS to MoF and the story is awesome. I also loved all the “classic” Castlevania games. Different =/= bad, new =/= inferior. You guys did great, imo.
I’m not familiar at all with the Castlevania franchise, so I didn’t recognize the principal character….but Juney’s expressions were punchline enough for the entire comic entirely by themselves. :)
Then the dark breasted woman splashed blood on me and….
What about lobster antennae? Alucard would be so much more awesome with lobster antennae. Then he could SENSE DANGER.
Danger! Danger! Lemon butter sauce imminent!
Honestly, the comics where the Commander interacts with his children are my favorites. It is interesting to see how the children deal with being in this odd little world, and hilarious how the Commander has to handle the situations.
He looks like a friggin DRow. I HATE ELVES (in all forms) there is nothing more un-manly then an elve (or a sparklepire).
Granted the Claws are a plus but it still doesn’t make up for looking like a drow.
Excuse me, sir/madam/indeterminate, I do believe you are unaware of how manly elves can be. Take Tolkien’s masterwork, The Silmarillion; there are a good number of examples in there. I’ll toss out a few.
Fëanor, High Prince of the Noldor? Creates the Silmarils – three jewels of light that even the gods are amazed by – invents an entire new alphabet, fathers the most kids any Elf has ever or will ever have had (seven sons), generally acknowledged to be the most brilliant craftsman the world would ever see – and then, after his father’s murder, he inspires a majority of his race to follow the murderer (Morgoth, a god of utmost darkness and evil), including the half-brothers he hates. He finally dies in combat with demons of fire, and his very spirit is so hot that its departure from his body burns the body to ash.
Fingolfin, the older half-brother? After being abandoned by Fëanor on the wrong side of a glacier, he leads the rest of their people over the glacier, one of the few places cold enough to kill Elves, and makes it to the other side with a huge army still in place. He reconciles with his nephews, takes over kingship of their people, and eventually dies in single combat with the single most powerful and evil god the world has known. After giving the guy a beating he’ll remember for the rest of eternity.
And finally, his son, Finrod Felagund? After creating an underground realm that’s one of the few places to remain safe and defended from the armies of evil, he’s approached by the son of an old friend for help getting one of the Silmarils back from Morgoth. He takes a few men and goes to help; however, they’re captured by Sauron, Morgoth’s lieutenant, and Finrod almost beats him in a contest of power. Then, when they’re thrown in a dungeon with a werewolf, Finrod ends up killing it while chained up and barehanded. With his teeth.
Pray tell me, how are these achievements unmanly?
I was talking about Appearance ,not archivments. All Elves look Girlish.no beard,not really muscled and all skinny. Best Example: Legolas, kick ass Bow skills and totally girly unmanly appearance
If you get manlines just from archivments you could say that any girly Japanese game hero is manly because they save girls and make big explosions if you catch my drift.
You know these guys in they games take on “Dark Gods” all the time…doesn’t really make them manly.
Also thank you for sharing this story with me, Now I KNOW that tolkien made his elve race way unrealistic Powerful. Especially the last story. The Werewolf should have won.
(Also now i know that Tolkien wrote about werewolfs,which is interesting.thanks again.)
Oh yeah .do you know the Dragonlance book series? Tanis is for me the only acceptable elve and that cause of three reasons.
1: he is only half-blood which allows him to grow a beard.
2: He has a simple name fit for a hero,not some really strange on like Fingolfin
3: He is a down to Earth guy who doesn’t have to go “nature this” and “Old legend/Tales/prophets That” all the time.
You may like elves and thats your right.but please don’t try to say they are embodiemt of manliness while they are looking totally Genderless.
So for you, manliness is measured by appearance? Fair enough, we all have different standards. I’m not entirely certain how being slim equates to lack of muscle, though. I know elves are often typecast as archers, but people who used a bow in war had to be very strong indeed; war bows could have an estimated pull of up to 185 pounds.
Tolkien’s werewolves aren’t detailed very much, but the point I was making was that Finrod won through sheer determination not to let his friend die. Adrenaline can give even a normal human impossible strength and stamina, never mind an elf.
“Fingolfin” is a name created according to the rules of the Elven languages that Tolkien created. Maybe that’s strange to you, but I rather like it myself; there’s internal consistency rather than names pulled out of nowhere to sound good.
I’m sorry to have to disagree with anyone, but for me Tolkien’s Elves are the embodiment of manly, because they were ferocious and determined and loyal to their friends and families, not because they had bulging muscles and beards. I hope we can leave this conversation here, with an amicable agreement to disagree.
Sure, just let me add something. i think its a confusion of the term -manlines- what you describe is more a definition of the generall term “Hero” or maybe even “Badass” which i don’t argue at all since these terms might be appropriate for the elves you describe.
But Manlines IS a thing of appearance and behaviour .Thats why People like Wikings and Barabrians are considered manly, If you ask a hundred random people which of the following is more manly: Legolas the elb or Conan the Barbarian (Its assumed that the hundred people know who they are). you would get a conan answer. If you would ask who is more badass or cool ,you problaty would see Legolas winning.
Oh well enough said. i think we can accept to disagree on that. Thought i myself like a good thoughtful discussion.And i hope i didn’t annoyed you to much with it.
You do realise that ‘Tanis’ as his human name, right? His elf name was ‘Tanthalus’ (or something like that)
I do knoiw that and even thantalus doesn’t sound as strange as Fingolfin
I just have to say, you’re judging a fictional culture in a fictional setting by the standards that YOU believe are manly. There’s no such thing as objective manliness, and you’re presenting yourself as some sort of omniscient purveyor of manhood. You’re not. For example, Bruce Lee never had a full beard. He was never huge and vascular with throbbing muscles. He -was- however manly as all fuck, and could probably snap you in half.
I never did say that i was nor did i felt the need to accuse others in unpolite manners. If you had read my posts you would have seen that i made examples of what the general group of people thinks. Also Wikings and babarians are not fictonal. We were talking about elves. Bruce Lee might never have been bearded or extrem-over the top muscled but he was never a genderless/girly-face slim beanpole like most elves a pictured.
I don’t have a problem with what other people believe to be manly, i just find it hard to believe that people find other character manly where you have to ask yourself the first second “Wait..is that a boy or a girl?”
thats also something you never would have with Bruce lee.
Also as much as i like discussing with other.please keep the replys polite and without accusing. there is no need for that.
A few facts should be mentioned:
Maleness is determined by gender
Manliness is determined by age (Puberty is what differentiates a boy from a man)
Macho is determined by attitude
Determining “manliness” by appearance alone is illogical & inaccurate.
Pff, don’t talk to me about Tolkiens elves, they are a bunch of wussy geriatrics hiding in their gated communities, staring at pretty flowers and whining how the kids these days (younger races) have no respect and everything used to be better without actually lifting a finger to make it better. Then when a group comes along that IS doing something they complain how they will draw evil to their little isolated islands of peace.
They only elf that does something is Legolas, Galadriel just hides from the ring and throws some trinkets at the fellowship to keep them happy and because Tolkien needed some more plot devices. And then they take of to go live in Florida (‘The West’)
No the elves did not save Helms Deep, that was Peter Jacksons contribution, actually lessening the epicness of those that held Helms Deep against overwhelming odds.
Also, i wish he had cast Sean Bean as Aragorn, he would be the King of Men instead of King of Fearies, and would have pulled of to look brooding without being angsty.
Oh wow, that really ended up a big rant. I’m sorry i just hate the elven archetype and agree with Hellbound.
Now, it seems to me that you’re basing your entire view of Tolkien elves on Lord of the Rings, which weren’t even ABOUT elves. Have you read the Silmarillion? You know, where they travel back and forth across the entire world as a people multiple times? Where they wage millenia long wars with a god of darkness due to a personal affront? Where humans and dwarves play a significantly lesser (humans more meaningful than dwarves, but still) part? By the time Lord of the Rings comes around, the elves DESERVE to tell humans to stay off their lawn. They helped kill the Dark Lord Morgoth, so let them have their moment. If humans and hobbits and dwarves can’t handle Morgoth’s lackey, sucks to be them.
Now now thats not true. And i don’t agree with you Knobby. I don’t like Elves for what they do but for there generell typecasting. Like i said before Legolas can be pretty bad ass. I just don’t like how they all appear the same in the same Girly/Genderless manner. I mean i would be happy if there were a movie that would show an elve who is/has one of these thing:
1. Not slim,maybe even has a belly
2. Has a Beard or strong body hair
3. Big body or at least some showable muscles
4. a Hard face. You know like Bruce Willis or Schwarzenegger.Not that i like the two that much its just that you could never say the look Girly.
5.Has some big scars,maybe in the Face. I mean Come on people,Elves maybe supposed to be really good figthers but we all know that the reason they are scarless is because they don’t want to ruin they pretty little faces.
See the Problem is with the above examples is,even if a movie showed that .people would only shrug and say “Well they doesn’t look like -real- elves. ” -.- .
Scars? Hm, well, that one’s tricky. See, elves are generally good enough at designing armour, and at healing, that they don’t get scars, but one of the more notable ones, Maedhros son of Feanor, lost his HAND to escape from Morgoth. And then learned to fight with his other hand because he was just that angry.
Number two! Yes! Why does the world hate the idea of bearded elves? I can’t stand how effeminate elves tend to be (I can’t stand most elven tendencies, actually). At the very least let them have some permastubble. This is one of the reasons I’m on Team Dwarf.
Gotta say, for all I normally despire elves, I love those in the Elder Scrolls. Even the Altmer, although they’re your standard elves, being skinny, arrogant, and magically adept. But the you also have short, black eyed, cannibal elves, and tall, green, ugly, warrior elves, and average height, slate blue, jerk elves, that are skilled at multiclassing. Pretty great.
Someone wanted a manly Elf? Try the Druchii from Warhammer Fantasy. More specifically, Malus Darkblade.
http://warhammeronline.wikia.com/wiki/Malus_Darkblade
On a personal note, Hauclir, Malus’ retainer, ran a damn close second in my eyes.
>Actually plays Castlvania reboot game
>people say it “ruined the franchise”
>enjoys it anyway and enjoys it
>makes well thought out joke after seeing how the story of said reboot plays out
>Doesn’t play FF13
>told that it “ruined the franchise”
>says it didn’t sound good and doesn’t try it
>makes low brow joke with Gackt about how linear the game is and not looking into whether or not the game was “good” or “bad”
Nice to see that hypocrisy still strong these days, especially on Manly Guys Doing Manly Things! Keep up the good work “*sarcasm*
I’m really not sure why you still read this comic, but it really seems like you desperately want to continue to find ways to complain that I’m making fun of games I play the wrong way.
Go Coelasquid. Kick some ass, TAKE SOME NAMES! CA-CA-CA YEAAAAHHH.
>I make insightful joke about the irony of how you play games
>Thinks I’m bashing you
>I haven’t talked on this comment bar a little more than a year ago
>completely misses the joke
It’s really funny how it’s so easy to fool someone like you.
You need to work on your humor, because I’m not seeing any in any of your posts. Not to mention they’re needlessy insulting.
The funny thing is your undies are all twisted up over me saying “This was more or less how I was talked out of buying the most recent Final Fantasy game that came out. I’m more into rpgs for the ‘wandering around the world and poking everything’ aspect and less for the “watch cutscenes and dick with random encounters” part.”
I didn’t even say it was bad. Like literally “This game was not offering what I play games for so I did not play it.”
I’ve always enjoyed RPGs for the simple ‘Kicking the crap out of randomly encountered enemies for a few hours’ thing, so Final Fantasy started to make me cry.
Yeah you know i played FF13 actually.
It IS Bad and it IS Liniear and pretty much was a waste of my money. And i have been a fan since FF6.
and for me the Franchise was already ruined with FF12 and they new shitty battle system and the push-one-button battle system from FF13 was even worse and don’t even start with Paradigm change…that was a stupid idea and they should go back top the old ways.
Though i still have hope that maybe with FF13 versus,they will learn from the mistakes and make it better.
That said.the whole Gackt joke was far more about that all FF Heroes look alike and girly and the spreading of a virus that would make people look like him…the linear thing was just a side joke and it was true . Or do you Seriously dare to say the game wasn’t linear?
Oh well. If you don’T enjoy the comic .Don’t Force yourself to read something you don’t like. Play some FF if you want instead and have a good day.
>It IS Bad
Yet somehow it has 2 sequels because SE looked into it and said that they would only make said sequels if there “was positive fan reaction to said idea”. The fact that Lightning Returns: FF13 is the 5th most anticipated 2013 game in Japan says a lot as well. If it didn’t have positive fan reaction wouldn’t it have just made a small handheld sequel like Revenant Wings (FF12)?
>it IS Linear
Welcome to Final Fantasy, You must be new here! FF is a franchise that has been known for it’s linearity (which most of said linearity has been broken up by an overworld). Hell, FF10 is the fan favorite of Japan and it’s nothing more than (walk down this hallway to dungeon like town)
>FF13 was even worse and don’t even start with Paradigm change
Oh you mean the fact in which the game organized spells and abilities in a neat order and in 3 jobs so you can utilize spells more? The fact that the characters could use more than one job in said battle system? Or the fact that Buffs and Debuffs became a vital part the game’s mechanics? Or how about the fact that speed is now a factor in defeating your enemies unlike before?
And don’t give me that crap about “Wah, you only get to control one player and the other two you have partial AI/control” because the majority of Console RPGs these days only allow you to control one character:
Mass Effect
Xenoblade Chronicles
Kingdom Hearts
Dot Hack
Tales Series
newer FF games (including your precious FF vs 13)
The Last Story
Nier
Star Ocean
So I don’t want to hear your whining about “Going back to the old ways”. If you want old fashion, play Ni No Kuni and quit complaining.
>The game was linear
For the first half of the game. It was open world in the second half or did we forget about Grand Pulse so easily?
I’ve played a number of different “linear” games, but some are a bit TOO linear, IMO. Some linear games that allow for “character improvement” have areas where enemies can respawn, while others don’t. I find it difficult to “level up” when every enemy you kill really *stays* dead & the chance to earn more XP dries up.
Mass Effect – Action RPG where you are free to move around with your AI teams, and can partially control through action menu
Xenoblade Chronicles – Action RPG where you move around freely with your team mates.
Kingdom Hearts – Oh look another action rpg where you move with the team and have partial control.
Dot Hack – Action RPG, that plays like an MMO where again you freely move during combat.
Tales Series – Only one on your list that meets your “point”.
Newer FF games (including your precious FF vs 13) 1. Using game sequels of XIII that has the same combat system isn’t a strong argument. 2. Versus FF is ALSO an action RPG like Kingdom Hearts where you freely move in combat with your team mates.
The Last Story -GASP- ANOTHER Action-RPG where you freely move around with your team and have some control over their actions.
Nier – Action RPG
Star Ocean – Action RPG
You see what I’m getting at? All the games you listed are action RPGs where you control the main character while being able to freely move and interact with your teammates in real time combat.
FFXIII locks you place as a single character who does’t move while your teammates move freely with very little input over their actions aside from their Job/Paradigm type. They tried to make this strange hybrid of Action and Classic Turn base, with none of the fun and flow of Action and none of the control of Classic Turn base or even ATB
Next yes all FF and JRPGs for that matter are linear….in STORY progression. The world itself is mostly open and good to explore for minigames, sidequests, and possibly new teammates to recruit. And in FFXIII it does make sense why you can’t explore cities (you’re fugitives) BUT it should be a game designers job to NOT allow the story interfere with gameplay, which side-exploration is a huge part of in FF.
Exactly. All the games are Action RPGs. Action RPG is where Final Fantasy is heading. FF10 and 10-2 were the starting point (where the traditional trun based combat had the ATB gauge missing), FF12 furthered it, and FF13, 13-2 and LR: FF13 sealed the deal with FFvs13 showing the full result of what is going to happen to the franchise for now on.
Turn Based Combat on the consoles took a real nosedive this generation. In the PS2, there were 32 different turn based combat games, but in the PS3 there are only 8. Turn based combat is practically dead on the PS3 and only gets life support from such games as Ni No Kuni and XCOM: Enemy Unknown.
The Design to FF13 is very similar to that of FF10. Why? Because FF10 is the fan favorite of Japan. And guess what? FF13 got very much positive reception over in Japan and many eastern countries.
As for the combat system, The Paradigm Shift is the next step to how strategy should be done. It organizes and quickens the fights without the hassle of having to stand around doing nothing. There is much more control in said paradigm shift than any of those action RPGs.
Apparently you are too much of a dumbass to realize the positive and can only get a boner from “Muh precious turn based combat nostalgia”. Go suck a dick and get fucked yourself
There is no ‘should be done’. XCOM: Enemy unknown didn’t flop, after all. Niches can still profitable, especially when you pick the right budget.
Are there people who like these more action-y FF games? Yes, they wouldn’t sell so well otherwise. Should there be other games like them? So long as there are people who buy and enjoy them, there is no harm.
But there is no reason why there can’t be more games like the older FF. Like the argument you made for FF13 and 10, there wouldn’t have been that many sequels in the same style if that style was bad. People loved those games as well.
But more importantly, you’re the one who brought the turn-based to action RPG combat thing, and nobody here seems particularily pissed about it. You may be used to getting certain responses, but since they aren’t here, you’re arguing against yourself.
On a side note, if I have a turn-based combat fetish, then that is my business. Different wood for different people.
Wow way to get your undies in a twist. No where did I say, I was only a fan of Turn-Base RPGs. I was merely pointing out the fact that your using Action-RPGs as a reason to why FFXIII can get away with what it did.
The fact remains FFXIII was advertised as a traditional Turn Based RPG, while Versus XIII was advertsied to be an Action RPG parallel and what was XIII Agito to be another type of RPG sub-genre.
What we got was a strange hybrid game where we controlled one party member in a traditional Turn Based set up without the control when we should have been controlling everybody’s actions.
Now I’m not saying its bad they added some action elements. Kingdom Hearts is one of my favorite series and look its an Action-RPG. XIII feels like they wanted to make an Action-RPG but back out about 3/4 of the way developing the battle engine.
In fact my first actually completed JRPG was Kingdom Hearts, and I didn’t play a traditional turn base till much later. So there is no nostalgia factor for me, I just have a different view point.
Next Action-RPGs aren’t the strict future of all JPRGs or even RPGs or any genre with a turn based gameplay. If that was the case Fire Emblem should be a Real-Time strategy and the revived X-COM should be as well. But people like those types of gameplay and the franchises tied to them.
Many people didn’t like XIII simply because it changed too much from the traditional gameplay that was a staple of the series. Me personally I don’t care, I just didn’t enjoy the game the story, the characters didn’t appeal to me. I’m greatly looking forward to Versus XIII since it seems more like a game I’ll enjoy.
>comes on the internet
>is a huge ass
>creator responds with class
>everyone hates you forever
>Comes to internet
>I make funny joke about how hypocritical the creator’s outlook to certain games are
>you fanboy out
>I walk away laughing
> If you ment it as a joke in the first place, nobody got it.
> If a joke is to be considered funny, other people must laugh at it in the first place.
> Claiming that your joke was ‘funny’ is laughable.
> I’d also comment on you calling the coela hypocrite without knowing how she made these descisions, but this format is too arkward.
If there isn’t a continuity for FF games (outside of sequels like X-2 anyways) then I don’t see how an FF game can ruin the franchise. At least Square-Enix try new mechanics and settings, which is more than I can say for most games set in ‘fantasy’ worlds.
If I’m going to play a long, linear game I would hope it has some mechanic that holds my interest though, otherwise I may as well go read a book. Books cost less and most don’t take me +100 hours to finish.
It’s not a matter of continuity but reputation and Square/FF is held to some pretty high standards and when XIII-2’s massive flaws were revealed both reputations took a NAAAASSTTTTYYYY hit. It didn’t help that at this time, the general gaming media did a 180 in regards to jRPGs and started bashing them en masse.
If they just stopped at XIII (excluding XIV as people love to bash on its terrible start and ignore its improvements), then I doubt things would have gotten as bad as I can defend XIII in general, but not XIII-2.
It’s really the ending that got people in XIII-2, like what happened with ME3. Speaking of which wound up overshadowing XIII-2’s ending big time 2 months later. Ironically some jerk at Bioware two years before ME3 said “FF13 wasn’t an RPG” and went on to say that any RPG that ISN’T made by Bioware isn’t an RPG. Karma is a bitch, isn’t it?
Honestly, I wasn’t a fan of FF13-2, but I see that there were people who did ask for it and Square did check to see if it could be made and supported BEFORE making it.
If you got a dime everytime you saw some jerk from the internet getting proven wrong, most people would filthy rich.
sure people wanted a XIII-2 but I don’t think they wanted what they got in the end, same with people clamoring for a Tales of Symphonia 2. XIII-2’s plot was a mess and to this day I can’t really think on the plot without my head hurting. “Change the future to change the past”, nuff said.
With ME3? well it didn’t get written off as crap so quickly and the media wanted to love it long time when the ending hit. It took KotORtanic to really hurt Bioware’s reputation.
I completely agree with you. Just because something is linear doesn’t mean it’s bad.
Oh…oh NOOOOOOOOOOO! Someone has a different opinion than me on the Internet! That’s horrible!
While I appreciate the irony you outlined, using standard imageboard syntax for insulting people is not how to frame a joke. You must know that. But then you seem to care when you respond. 3/10, questionable troll.
As for FF13, I personally love the game. Not for the graphics, or gameplay, but because, imho, they did an amazing job with the characterization of Lightning, and a great job with basically every other character.
It seems like you liked FF13 because it kept a lot of the Final Fantasy spirit. I liked it for the characters. The author here decided not to play it because of the gameplay. Games have many aspects, and people have different priorities. I don’t see the problem. If you were trying to convince the author to give the game another chance, your method was clearly hopeless.
Why don’t you make one with gaston from beauty and the beast?? He’s plenty many enough, methinks.
Clearly you have not read the About page. This is probably the closest you’re going to get to a gaston appearance http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/all-that-glitters-is-not-gold
Wasn’t this your plot device for your mini-arc way back when? “Ohh, I’m leaning against a wound caused by a were-bishie, so now, I am now were-bishie.”
It was a virus made highly contageous. I doubt the entire organisation went and rubbed that wound.
Whoops. Forgot to make this a reply again after I got a ‘you’re posting too quickly’ message.
Much like zombies, which no one questions. Both are made up though, so I find the criticisms interesting to observe.
lords of shadow is an alternate universe all together konami said it was a self contained reboot.
Great work on the Commander’s Expression in the close-up :) Another quality page.
On an unrelated note, I recently checked out your DeviantArt page and was most impressed. Any plans to continue with The Colosseum?
Axe Cop is awesome, and you are awesome for referencing him.
I loved Commander Badass’s interaction with his daughter. A real man can apologize and admit he’s wrong, especially to a little girl.
Is there a particular brand of cigar that the Commander smokes?
Futuro Fuente?
His own.
oh yeah there’s a wilderness section of the building for Canada Guy, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone planted tobacco there
Way late to this, but I just want to say the first comma in “Sorry, I doubted ya, Junebug” seems a little extraneous, as if spoken as “Sorry [pause] I doubted ya, Junebug [pause]…” rather than the more natural “Sorry I doubted ya, Junebug [pause]”.
not to mention that, that is the best version of how vampires work I’ve seen thus far….oh you have the ability to fly, gimme that shit *OM NOM NOM*
I hated the new franchise for several reasons. The reason that bugs me the most is that they failed to finish the previous arc. I would not care so much about any of this if they had made a Castlevania 1999: Demon Castle Wars. The entire series from Castlevania 1 was supposed to be building up to the final defeat of Dracula, a story we will never get to see. I could make many smaller arguments, such as Konami dumping what was once considered one of the best video game franchises on a random 3rd party developer rather than putting to rest a series as it should have been, as well as all concept of originality being lost in terms of gameplay. Rather than make something truly original that could be called Castlevania, we got God of War: Christianity Edition. BUT I really wouldn’t care one bit if they had just finished the story. That’s just my rant on the subject.
Random!?
With only 2 games under their belt, neither particularly critically or financially successful, I choose the word random.
Who knows if they’ll ever get to that as I think with the DS games, the particularly genre might have gotten milked out and the last thing I know of IGA doing was that second Otomedius game (not exactly a flattering project, considering it’s the Gradius spin off least liked)
Hopefully he’s working on it, but it’s just a sign of the times (mainly companies being desperate for that western market pie)
I can totally understand that. I don’t mind so much the departure from the traditional DSvania gameplay. I just wish they had made something less derivative. I suppose that’s my major complaint with games in general these days. Which flavor of the month FPS would you like to play? THIS ONE IS ORIGINAL BECAUSE THE ALT FIRE MAKES THE CHARACTER HOLD THE GUN SIDEWAYS AND SHOOT BULLETS THROUGH TIME AND CHEESE. Sorry. Lost control of my rant again.
I just noticed that both Commander and his daughter are missing teeth. I know he probably lost his due to macho-ing all the time, but he’s from the Spacefuture so you’d think they’d have permanent replacement teeth or something which means he’s choosing to miss a tooth. That combined with him being a superdad, I bet Junebug was bummed about looking weird missing a tooth so Commander pulled out his one of his own teeth to match her.
That’s quite a nice theory.
I…uhh…hope you don’t mind if I, uh, NOT attack opinions on the new Castlevania reboot (granted I do need to play the series eventually and have no idea where to start given I have no console older than N64/Gameboy Colour).
But, is it just me or has there been an intention to slowly draw the Commander’s kids a bit more grown up each time we see them?
If you need to start playing Castlevania, start with Symphony of the Night on PS1 or PSP. From there, move on to the ones for the DS. Ignore everything else.
Ignore truthkeeper, play Castlevania 4(SNES), Rondo of blood(virtual console, PSP), the GBA and DS one, Symphony of the night and Castlevania Rebirth(wiiWare).
Okay, I had forgotten about Super Castlevania and Rondo, I’ll admit. I was mostly trying to think of what’s important to play and easy to get without emulating. Some people actually find that morally objectable for some reason.
So like … here I was reading everything and wow. Just Wow! everything was tackled, incidentally I may not have to read any more Tolkien since it’s all been ruined for me here lol!
I say according to the art style of the comic artist Manliness/machoness/and all things in that vein can be determined by two factors which looked like this: Manliness proportionate to Chin size adjusted by chest width and breadth. The bigger your chin (or jaw depending on how much face you have) the bigger your … manhood :) Biggest chin in the world will still be offset by the size of a man’s chest (from inside the ribcage only) if it is thin enough to squeeze through prison bars.
June and Sammy remind me so much of my niece and nephew it’s uncanny.
This made me laugh! I never even thought about how strange that is while I was playing. I guess I’ve been playing too many video games because my brain processed that as making perfect sense. Oh he got blood on him and became all demon-y cool I guess that’s how that stuff happens I mean I’ve never fought a demon before so what do I know.
I love this game though, it’s gorgeous (those backgrounds!) and it plays nicely. When it comes to Castlevania games that is all that matters to me. I’ve played quite a few of them and although I followed the lore slightly it never really meant that much to me. I just want a game that plays well and has a lot of neat monsters in it. So if you like that kind of thing it’s a great game!
If you’re really really concerned about Castlevania lore then maybe just skip this one instead of trying to make the people that enjoyed it feel guilty. That’s kind of a dick move guys.
Also a fine time to point out that it takes a real man to eat crow in front of your own kid. Especially TO the kid.
This is my favorite webcomic ever! :D
So…should we expect to see Axe Cop in future pages? Because I’d be alright with that.
You know, with comics like this, most of the humor comes from the comic itself while the rest of it comes from reading the comments below. Especially when people can’t seem to agree to disagree and un/intentionally start trolling each other.
Sadly to say, I don’t get the Ax Cop reference, as I have been living overseas half my life, but I do laugh at the joke. Especially since how stupid any fantasy-based logic is.
I don’t quite derive as much humour from the comments section, sadly… The more pigheaded commentors drive me crazy. It’s like as soon as an argument starts everyone loses sight of the existence of moderation, middle ground and sanity.
Also, for the reference – in her description, Coelasquid posted a link to the first Axecop story. Long story short: policeman gets dinosaur blood on him and turns into a dinosaur soldier. Axecop is written by a guy and his 5 year old brother; the guy draws whatever the little brother comes up with.
Did the winged man’s eyes change, or have I just not notice them before?
*Noticed
Whoops.
I changed them, I had a hard time finding decent pictures of Alucard’s face and forgot the whites were supposed to be black.
Commander’s line in the last panel just looks wrong to me. I don’t think that first comma should be there.
too
many
commas
and in the wrong places
i’m sorry i rarely go “grammar nazi” but i can’t ignore the awkward commas in that last speech bubble it breaks too many comma rules
actually when i look at it it’s just one too many commas. the sentence should look more like “sorry i doubted ya Junebug, but…”
or maybe “sorry i doubted ya, Junebug. but…”
or something like that
older comic, kinda pointless to complain about it at this point, but sometimes i can’t help myself
And yet the world still turns.