So the thing I was gonna make jokes about this week got delayed…
July 17, 2017
2:59 am
Gettin’ back into lifting seriously for the first time since the accident that broke my shoulder last year, so here’s a comic about having a dragon stash of various alchemical powders and canned meat.
I’m surprised I haven’t seen a Magikarp Jump thing with Mr. Fishy~ or did I miss it?
But honestly, a pound of beef sounds good right now!
The problem is that Mr Fish would be ineligible for the jumping league and that bloody guy would take him away from you as soon as you evolved him into a Gyarados. I know because this happened to me… lol!
I just call all the gold Magikarps I catch Mr Fish in honour of this comic. ;)
That’s the point, I can see Jared complaining ’cause they don’t let Mr Fish join the contest… or mr Fish eating the new magikarp Jared is trying to train in jumps… or Jared trying to get Rock Lobster’s kids into training magikarps… SO MUCH that could go wrong with it XD
Squid did a similar joke about the Friend Park in Diamond and Pearl only allowing “cute” Pokemon already, with Mr. Fish eating the cute ones. It’s just retreading old material.
I get 3-4 pounds of ground beef at a time, brown it all up, and keep it in 1-pound ziploc bags in the freezer. If you drain it well it doesn’t become an ice cube, instead congealing (sounds nasty but it’s what fat does) in a way that breaks back apart and thaws real nice. Just toss it in the pot for hamburger helper or pasta sauce, nuke it for nachos, sprinkle it on a frozen pizza, it’s very versatile to have the stuff pre-cooked on hand.
Hot damn. Lobster is generally not super my jam wrt manflesh, but this huge lump reclined on the couch- hm. HM.
So you’re saying you wouldn’t mind a pound of beef right now?
Who wouldn’t? I almost suspect Kelly is trying to make us male fans gay.
My brother said something similar a couple years ago. Now he lives in California with his boyfriend.
I’m happy for him.
Translation: “MUAHAHAHA! One step closer to that set of steak knives!”
Well, she can try all she wants I’m already bi. And I appreciate a good half a kilo* of beef like everyone else.
*: Metric system FTW!
Everyone is Bi in the future.
Bi Bi, sweet, relished past.
Hello unbeatable versatile air humps. You can use ’em anywhere, it’ll always be appropriate.
Everyone gets one (if they’re 18 or older)!
Pan*
You’re confusing a pound with a ton.
Not to be confused with a tonne, which IS to be confused with a metric ton.
but if you’re landing on Mars double-check anyway.
But it’s easy to get confused after draining a tun.
Watch it, I’m not sure I like your tonne.
I’ve been reading this comic for years and sometimes the sheer size difference between Jones and CB still manages to shock me.
Also, holy hell he looks a lot freaking tastier then a pounder of beef. Yum yum
I was reading this so hungry I wouldn’t mind snacking on a cup of protein powder, as long as it’s got some kind of food flavor. . .
Jonesy is the most relatable is what I’m saying.
Add a spoonful or two of cocoa powder or peanut butter to a generic vanilla protein shake when mixing works out well. Or some frozen fruit/berries from the freezer.
You had me at “vanilla”.
A dragon stash? Suddenly Iron Bull makes more sense…
Are 14oz cans of beef an actual thing?! Because I now desire several.
You can get 12 for $145.
So why does canned ground beef cost more than $12 a pound? I assume the price markup is because of the prepper branding, but even here with Canada dollars meat’s not that expensive. I suppose bodybuilding doesn’t give you much time to cook your own, but it’s just ground beef, right? Toss that in a skillet and it’s basically a meal already.
Eh, that was just the first one I found in a google sweep, here’s 12 28oz cans for $110
Now that’s more like it!
Much appreciated!
“We use a hamburger mix that we grind ourselves in-house that contains 20% fat. […]
“The higher fat content is not considered “healthy” by today’s low-fat standards, [YA THINK? -ed.] but we designed this product for the extremely long shelf life, and the extra calories from fat (and of course the flavor) making it ideal for using if the power went off for some reason. Plus, if you store the cans at room temperature and are watching your fat intake, you’ll find when you open a can that the fat separates for you and you will have about a teaspoon of fat at the top of the can, so it is easy to take that out and cut the fat almost in half.”
… … …*HURRRRRRRRRRP!* #NOTHANKYOU
I’ve found 93% is my ideal, though I tend to use it broken up so I donno if something else is better for meatballs and burgers.
Make a proper marinade and they stick together and the meat is no longer dry. Sun dried tomato vinegarett works wonderfully and has a nice taste when grilled.
I’m going to assume sheer man hours in preparing those. By most any standard, it’s probably not all that cheap to preserve beef. You can’t just hack that stuff off of a cow — or any large animal really. My family eats a lot of deer and elk burger/beef –, grind it up, stuff it in a can and call it a day, especially if you’re not actively freezing the meat. Gotta preserve that stuff.
No but seriously, are these cans of beef an actual thing? I’ve got to look this up and get in on this shit, because as an American beef is like 70% of my diet (25% being sugary treats and 5% stuff that is significantly less likely to kill me before I reach the age of 40).
I have a bodybuilder friend who needs to eat something like… 320g of protein a day? He basically lives off of them.
Couldn’t he also get those cartons of egg whites, skim milk by the gallon, etc? I’d hate to think the poor guy only has one food source.
tbh with the amount of things one haves to eat that aren’t really tasty finding ONE you like enough to have daily is part of the routine, when you’re doing your diet, you’ll try everything once, and stick to what you like
Yeah but I’d get sick of the stuff fast. I can stomach those protein bars, managed to get some decent ones that are mostly protein for about $1/each, but not if I had to eat 10 a day. Same for the protein powders. Or cans of tuna.
If I could find it, I’d buy the crap out of peanut flour. It’s 60% protein, can be used to replace most wheat, and tastes fucking awesome. But nooooo, we have to feed that to pigs instead…
Have you tried your local WinCo? Not sure if you have them where you are, but if you do you can find some surprisingly amazing stuff in their bulk section!
Old post but no, no WinCo near me. Never even heard of it before. Closet one is about 8 states over.
I’m curious what Rock and/or your bodybuilder friend eat with their beef. Surely not just straight browned hamburger?
My inclination would be to mix mine with sesame-ginger sauce, hot sauce, chopped onion and pineapple and ramen noodles and make sweet’n’sour beef noodles. But maybe that’s just cause I want sweet’n’sour beef noodles right now.
That actually sounds delicious. Minus the ramen, and just make the burgers. The pineapple would tenderize the burger even more, making the entire thing melt in your mouth.
None of my family are body builders, but my parents store jars and cans of food like it’s the end of the world. Found cans of condensed milk the other day that dated back to 2014.
Of course, it might be because we live in the hurricane territory of Florida…
Only 2014?
I found a can of apple juice from *concentrate* that expired in 1993.
In 2007.
I live in Massachusetts.
That’s nothing. I once had a two liter can of Captain Fred’s Clam Juice that was well over 35 years old by any dating I could find. It had been in our cupboard basically since my parents got the house, and I had to get rid of it because it had started to seep through the seals on the can.
Poor thing was antique!
Grandpa had some field rations from WWII. I did NOT open them LOL.
I am a weightlifter and sometimes I just get home from the gym and eat a pound of beef…
Is there a reason for me getting ads of proteine-powder on this page?
http://imgur.com/a/CrSjf
Hmmm.
The ads you see are based on your cookies, I’m seeing nothing but ads for canned hamburger right now.
I recall some conservative politician going after some website for running gay porn ads a while back.
He deleted the tweet, but not before half the internet had pointed out the above…
that is hilarious !
He should’ve gone after ALL porn adverts. He woulda gotten less flak, and those things are disgusting and oft inapropes for the site they’re on. Nothing worse than accidentally clicking on them.
Probably thats just you, I have adds for tyres and a bank account I already have.
Yeh.. I never did any online shopping for protein-stuff or the likes. More like nerdy stuff? thats why I was surprised. Maybe thats my subconsciousness telling me to get my ass to gym again? Allright, i’ll go >_>
Soooo… Kakurine? From Evil Zone/Eretzvaju?
Yes yes, indeed. :)
I accidentally googled something for my pregnant sister without going Incognito first and so now my ad feed is flooded with baby stuff. ><
The internet is out to jinx you.
Sooo, anyone else think the cans of beef CB has is actually for when all the ‘all you can eat’ restaurants that he can still go to decide to close down for the day?
Oh, I eat a pound of beef after the gym too. ;)
I can totally relate. Got a cupboard that contains nothing but various teas.
Makes me feel like more of an apothecary than an alchemist though.
You look like you can brew a mean potion. Can you brew me an ale?
Mmm… beef.
So, Coelasquid… any chance you’d make a pinup calendar of your manly OC’s reclining, relaxing, or other things in their “off time”? Lobster, Tank, Daggett… I’d be interested in buying that. ;)
Grilling, playing with their kids, working on their cars, training giant seamonsters… I would buy this. Yes, you have to put Jarred in there. It’s not optional.
Or just an entire calendar of the Commander in pinups, I would buy that too.. His classic look, that leather harness you had him in, a kilt…
… i, uh, didn’t know I wanted this until someone pointed out it could possibly exist. Please Coelasquid make that happen!
12 months of Jared in a speedo
ಠ_ಠ
12 months of Mr. Fish stealing bikinis.
the meat hunger is real
He probably has some dehydrated water as well…
I don’t lift weights but I do bike and tend to be gone for several hours at a time. When I get home nothing seems to revive me more than a nice juicy burger and a can of Peace Tea.
When I was in college, several friends and I got up every morning for early morning workouts. The gym on campus was completely empty at 6:00, except for the Army ROTC guys, and they stayed away from the weights. After an hour of weight training every day, we’d go to breakfast at the crack of the opening of the refectory. I’m pretty sure we each would eat about a pound of eggs and meat, with a little fruit for color. Good times.
Although the subsequent lack of activity following graduation might account for my expansive waistline now…
This is actually a page from me and my now wife’s conversations while dating. STOP SPYING ON US!!! :P The cupboard of “various powders” is gold. We have two whole cupboards like that
Ok but damn. I’m all for how Commander looks in this strip. He snd Jonesy make a cute couple though.
Wait till you’re older, you even look at a can of food and you put on weight.
I’m wondering, is it better to be a cool single dad or a happily married slob?
He’s a genetically engineered super-soldier. He’s not going to start looking ‘older’ until he reaches at least Rear Admiral
CB isn’t that type of military man though. The Admiralty is not for him.
He’s much more like the kind of guy that makes Senior Chief Petty Officer five or six times before finally settling down and making it to Master Chief…
Except I’m forgetting he’s an officer. This is probably at least his third time being Commander though. He’ll probably never make Captain.
He used to be Captain but they bumped him back and gave Angel his job when he didn’t follow orders and got himself disemboweled.
Didn’t realize he was a Captain back then. I was thinking maybe back from Commander to Lieutenant Commander (still proper and correct to be addressed as Commander).
I mean, sure, captain of the ship – that’s just a position. You don’t have to be a Captain to be the captain.
Then again “Captain Badass” absolutely sounds like a Marketing strategy.
Let’s try something. Please step on a scale… CHEESECAKECHEESECAKECHEESECAKE!
Well?
To be totally fair to The Commander, I don’t even need to work out to have heating a pound of beef sound like a good idea..
.mmmm… Beef….
He foine ;D
After the previous strip, I’m sure that last line wasn’t as dirty as it seems.
You know? This is probably close to home cooking for him when he was fresh out of the vat and they had to start him on non-solids.
I’ve dated this kind of man before. Yeah, you have to bring your own snacks to his place, but at least he won’t eat them while you’re not looking.
Seriously, I reckon Commander & Maddie probably have the healthiest “divorced-couple with kids” relationship I’ve ever seen, lol
HAHAHAHHA so true. I tend to working out late at night after i take the dogs for the last walk of the day, and i always have dinner after the training so i dont train with a full belly and puke everything out. And its ALWAYS rice, manioc flour and at least 1 pound of beef.
…14 ounces is not a pound. :|
two ounces left over for a snack when he’s hungry again in 30 minutes.
16 oz to a pound, so he has to eat a whole can, open up a second can and eat two oz out of it, then finish off the remaining 12 oz for a snack. Which does sound perfectly in character, he probably makes a sandwich or something out of it, it’s what I would do.
I don’t know imperial, I guess I assumed 12 was the standard number of smaller units in a larger unit. I dunno, I was raised with a real measurement system.
Either way, just say he’s rounding off.
16oz of meat cooked down for canning can lose anywhere from half an ounce upwards depending on fat content.
So a 14oz can of ready-to-eat beef very likely started “life” as a pound of flesh.
So mouth watering. The canned beef sounds good, too. ;)
Yeah this is 100% a thing. The protein cravings after a good workout. Your body is smarter than most people think it is.
I once made a fresh batch of a dozen hard boiled eggs before going to do my usual Saturday workout. Set them in the fridge to cool while I got heated. Came back, grabbed the bowl, and half an hour later realized I’d accidentally eaten all twelve of them.
Protip – don’t eat twelve eggs for breakfast the day before you have bloodwork due. Your doctor is going to give you some funny looks.
Correction, “in the week before you have bloodwork due”. It was a couple days later and my bad cholesterol was like fifty points what it had been last time.
Ground beef in a can is not something I’d be down on eating. At least, not if it’s like the canned meat I’ve had before, which had the texture of playground sand and tasted simultaneously overcooked and slightly raw. However, I WOULD eat an entire packages (or maybe case, if available) of precooked beef bratwurst.
Sounds like you’ve only ever had potted meat. Not all canned meat is potted meat. Ground beef in a can is basically a meatloaf without the eggs and breadcrumbs, though you can absolutely can meatloaf too.
I’ve got an uncle who cans his own venison. Tasty stuff.
Not potted meat, or at least they didn’t claim that it was. Though homemade canned meat? That sounds a lot better.
HA HA…innuendo…
He COULD be doomsday prepping… I mean, he would know if there was anything doomsday-like occuring in near future.
Or he just likes powders.
Doomsday prep for Commander involves stashing fruitcake in caves.
Oh yes. Forgot.
And it even came in handy.
I’m sure the powders just to season the beef. Nothing like a protein shake made of canned beef drippings.
Somehow, I never considered that Commander actually went to the gym. I thought his bio-engineering simply allowed him to convert oxygen directly into muscle-mass.
Hah. The shot of the Commander’s kitchen reminds me of my father-in-law’s kitchen…although these days, he probably wouldn’t eat a pound of ground beef. He’s had to cut back on the amount of meat he eats in general, and he really ought to be cutting down the amount of protein he gets too. (He’s not good at sticking to the amount he’s supposed to be ingesting – he’s still adjusting to the fact that he’s not going to get back to how he used to be, I think.)
That last panel should be an HD wallpaper of the handsome Commander.
I know it’s kind of presumptuous to ask, but I was wondering if you were going to do a comic with Reinhardt from Overwatch?
What? Raw meat in a can? All canned meat i’ve seen is fully cooked, but then again my country is not very big on canned meat.
I don’t think you can have raw meat in a can just by the nature of how canning works?
Oh OK…so it’s beef, ground and cooked? What can one do with that?
No. I get back from a walk across town and eat a pound of jelly babies.