Elite Commando
August 2, 2010
12:00 am
Instead of sitting in front of my computer and drawing a decent comic this week, I went to the Uxbridge Highland Games to watch guys in skirts chuck 200lb telephone poles.
I like to think that the people who read this comic can understand why I would do that.
Discussion (213) ¬
Hmm, now instinct would tell me the Commander is working on a Jeep, but I have a feeling he’s working on something a little more classic, a good ol’ fashioned muscle car, with a mean lookin’ grill.
Based on the few lines and chrome strips, I will extrapolate…
…1968 Chevelle?
it’s a ’58 Chevy, but it may not be perfect because I learned to draw it on the spot, making this comic. I’m better at ’57 T-Birds.
For what you did, looks nice regardless.
I’m only starting work on my first classic car, my uncle’s ’75 Grandville convertible. It’s a nice start, but I once I have myself a steady job and a tonne of cash to throw around, I got my eye on a Trans Am. Preferably black, then I’ll make it’s theme song Cadillac Ranch by Springsteen :P
Very true about the kilt.
Of course, if he WAS wearing underwear, that would make it a dress instead of a kilt.
…I think I just got a Female Boner from the comic and from what you watched this weekend.
yes. I’m sure we all did.
I got a male boner.
Its unrelated to the comic, I just woke up.
:)
LOL
Aaaaaand the only reply I can possibly have for that is to ask if today’s comic made you think of:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ35SOU9HTM
Considering the comic, I think I might be more surprised if you DIDN’T enjoy watching that kind of thing.
It was pretty rad, a guy got a perfect 12 o’clock throw with a 23 foot fresh-cut challenge caber. It took three guys to carry it to him.
I always wanted to try that. I would probably end up killing myself in the process.
That, and/or killing one or more of the spectators.
Either way it’s a good time had by all.
Maybe I would get lucky and launch it about 6 inches.
There is a penis joke there somewhere…
I just can’t find it.
Neither could he.
/Facepalm
I bet that if it was a windy day at the Uxbridge Highland Games when Coelasquid attended, she probably did…
;)
I’m Considering getting involved with the caber toss, but I have significant trouble getting out to a place where I can
I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounds overwhelmingly masculine all the same.
You judge a caber toss by how close the log falls to 12 o’clock after it flips, the logs they were using for the main event were 21 feet long and dried out so they weighed around 150 lb. There was an extra challenge after the event with a 25 foot caber that was fresh cut, so it was still full of water and much heavier. The first guy who attempted it broke the caber, so they brought out a new one, which was 23 feet long but still fresh cut. Only two of the guys could flip it at all, but of them one got a perfect throw.
why am i only learning about this sport now? i feel like i’ve missed so much
If I’m not mistaken, there’s a Scooby Doo movie/episode where the gang goes to Loch Ness. This and other sports are showcased in the first half of it.
Well, the cartoon series of Samurai Jack have a couple of episodes featuring The Scotsman as a major character…
I totally understand your priorities, if you stayed home drawing instend of going to watch something that awesome I’ll never ever read your strip again
Ah, caber tossing… truly the manliest sport to come out of Scotland.
And yet somehow some pathetic little game where people smack a tiny ball around with a thin metal club is more popular with mainstream society. Seriously, the most physically demanding part of that activity is walking all over a field chasing down your balls, and nowadays most people don’t even do that if they can get their hands on motorized conveyance.
Madness, I tell you, pure and simple.
It’d be a LITTLE strenuous if you walk the course while carrying your own damn bag of clubs. Having some teenaged boy do it for you is lazy AND pretentious.
You forgot the silly pants.
In australia we play golf in singlets, shorts and thongs (no not a thong, thongs. You call them flip-flops for some bizarre reason)
We also get excessively drunk before the third hole and attempt to putt with a 6-iron.
You named them for their shapes, we named them for the sound they make. Both names make sense, it’s just different slang.
They’re called flipflops so they don’t get confused with the other type of thongs. That could just lead to some embarassing situations right there.
See we call those g-strings, so there’s no confusion at all.
Actually, there’s a difference between G-strings and thongs. So there would still be confusion. A thong actually has a small triangle in the back, whereas a G-string only has a thin string – hence the name.
My cousin calls it ruining a good walk XD
As for todays comic… I was so excisted to learn it was monday and i got a new comic.. then i got even more excited, then a bit “ey???” then a bit “oohhhh ^_^”
….I though you were talking about baseball for a second.
Me too.
well, you know, golf is the only sport that comes with a slave….
I certainly don’t enjoy walking around and hitting my balls with a metal club.
You forgot that the combination of events necessary to win made it pretty good for making bets because you can easily bet on each one of them.
Are referring to baseball? Cause I’d love too see anyone without treating try to swat a first sized ball flying at roughly the speed of a highway bound vehicle of thin air hard enough and just perfectly enough to send it to the outfield.
Golf.
We understand.
And some of us envy you.
Some of us are just jealous of the guys doing the tossing though.
…Lousy summer weather making kilts into ovens.
very very nice
…
why in gods name am i up now?
either way, keep up the good work on this comic!
Okay, now he looks like Sabretooth especially in panel 1.
You should hold a poll on “Which manly macho tough guy does The Commander most resemble?”
Everyone has some character they think he looks like, which makes sense because he’s just a composite of macho stereotypes. And probably because a lotta comic artists draw pretty bland characters that are indistinguishable save their costumes and facial hair…
Hehe, he looks a lot like Brock Sampson from Venture Brothers to me.
Because of this I read everything he says in Brock’s voice.
And it is awesome.
I was hearing everything the Commander said in Brock’s voiced just because Patrick Warburton is the only person who COULD voice him.
I think Clancy Brown, Brendan Small, Michael Haley, John DiMaggio, or even Scott McNeil would all be more accurate than Warburton. He’s not gravelly enough.
Or David Hayter or Steven Blum. I could totally, totally get behind John DiMaggio, though. I heart Marcus Fenix’s voice so hard.
I don’t think he’d be a Steve Blum. Like, I think Steve makes a great… smoky Noir-kind gruff chractarcter, like the lanky Spike Spiegels and Koh Leifoh’s of the world, but I wasn’t a fan of his Jack in Madworld. I felt the same way I do when I hear Solid Snake or Christian Bale’s Batman, like it’s a guy trying to Clint-Eastwood up his voice.
Editin’ this ’cause I just realize Hayter is Snake. Ahahahha, I love Snake’s voice, but I love it because it’s silly. Every guy I’ve ever heard make fun of him has actually done a fairly accurate impression.
But… but I LIKE Snake…. :C
Nah, that’s actually a pretty good point. But now that Hayter’s Snake been put side-by-side with Bale’s Batman, I just won’t be able to think Snake is quite as cool as I used to. His voice really is kinda funny…
I like Snake too, I just think he sounds silly :P
Just chiming in here, but any mention of John DiMaggio automatically assumes Bender.
So, now I’m stuck with the voice of Bender as the Commander. Thanks.
P.S. I’m really cheesed that there aren’t any of the new Futurama episodes being aired here. Couple people e-mailed Global and Comedy Network, and was told Teletoon has the rights, but all they are doing is airing repeats in no particular order.
I always imagined Commander as having a smooth voice, but deep and rumbling. Something like Johnny Cash when he was younger.
Naw, his vices have irreparably damaged all that business.
Maybe more like Lemmy Kilminster then?
I always thought of him speaking in a Brooklyn accent, for some reason.
He has a scotish accent in this one(because of the Kilt)
For the longest time after starting this comic, I would have sworn he was Cid from FF7. They could be related, they look so similar.
I think he lacks the perma-sneer of sabretooth D:
Personaly I’ve never drawn a line to someone else from the commander, always looked at him as an a unique character.
That being said, he still sounds like Patrick Walburton to me.. even after hearing the voice from the prom queen of war video :D
I think Warburton’s voice is too clear, he’d probably be pretty gravelly with all of his cigar chompin’.
I hear him as R Lee Ermy. I almost want to see him putting Jared through PT.
How about Ron Pardo? He voices Quest from The World of Quest.
Huh, I always thought Quest was Warburton.
I usually hear Ron Perlman’s voice with gratuitous slurring of words XD even words that aren’t spelt slurred >.>
I thought so too, at first. But apparently Pardo has a versatile voice, as he does Quest, Grer, and Khaos on that show.
Okay, at lunch I was just thinking of Colonel Smoker from One Piece smoking two cigars and wondered what was that Deja Vu feeling… Turns out he reminds me of The Commander lol!
Haha! Just imagining Smoker in a kilt had me laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. Great connection.
I gotta say, looks more like Wolverone… specially in panel 4… a scottish… blonde… wolverine o.o
tbh, I’ve been thinking since Day 1 that he reminded me of Sabertooth
I love Jared’s facial expression on the last panel, you should use that one more often.
Strange. I always thought the manliest way to pantsless (and underwearless) would be wearing a towel around your waist. That said, I have no objections to kilts and see why they’re preferable to the towel. At least kilts are less likely to fall down.
Depending upon one’s company, this may or may not be a desirable feature of the towel option though. ;)
What… wait a second, does Jared live right next door to the Commander or something. What’s he doing in the Commander’s garage?
The commander probably fixed something for him seeing as he was broke when he got there.
OR Mr. Fish may just be slacking off in someone’s pool right now.
I imagined Mr. Fish half lying in some random person’s above ground pool while people, (who have no idea where it came from,) are in the pool edging away from it.
Stretched over three back yards dipped into all of their pools.
This. Must. Happen! Make it so Numba 1!!!
Ah must be a rich neighborhood.
I’d… like to see that as well. @_@
We kilt the last one that called it a “skirt.”
Hah!
*rimshot*
i c wut u did thar.
So THAT’S why they’re called kilts!
Epic win.
I think the Commander looks like a manly cheerleader in that outfit.
The male cheerleaders do seem to have a lot of fun. Particularly during practice.
Cheerleading is one of the most dangerous sports. Lots of broken bones and even deaths.
My sister broke both her arms during a meet and then had to get double knee replacements at 25 due to the damage done via cheerleading. I’m glad I was always more into the PS2 in high school instead of sports. Carpel tunnel is much preferable.
You know, this is America. Why don’t we have combat cheerleading yet?
I very much understand why you’d watch that rather than draw a decent comic.
Whether or not you’re wearing underwear makes all the difference between a kilt and a skirt. The Commander, he’s doin’ it right.
Well, now I want to ask my dad when the next Highland Games is and ask to go with him. Wish I had my ‘World’s Smallest Caber’ pencil again…
The world needs more men in kilts :3
Always happy to oblige.
I have got to go watch Highland Games some day. I personally hear Will Arnett or Adam Baldwin’s voice when the Commander speaks.
Stop making him so sexy >.<
Jared, sexy? Seriously? Well. To each their own.
Either you’re being sarcastic and jokey or you didn’t realize that she was talking about Commander Badass.
I really wish I could hear tone over the internet.
Agreed and Commander Badass :P Jared’s… ok. Cute. But th’ Commander is just so… drooool…
Honestly, the marker work impresses me more than the computer coloring.
The punchline on this is delightful in more than one way.
No sporran? Oh, well, Commander here doesn’t seem the type for a crotch purse anyways.
Also I resent the idea that true Scotsmen go commando like, well, Commander here. That was a practice invented by the English >:T
I think that’s because the English started that whole… pseudo-universal medical procedures on babies to make it a necessity for it to be comfortable.
…wat
That practise originates in the middle-east, historically due to the high rate of infections caused by the environment before the advent of hygiene.
It then became a religious practise across much of the middle east, and later spread through other cultures for various reasons (mostly due to Jewish integration into Christian societies).
During the First Afghan War (circa 1839-1842) and during the Indian campaigns preceding it, British soldiers who considered defecting to Muslim armies were often dissuaded by the fact they would be required to under *that* procedure in order to serve in Islamic armies.
The more you know!
…how the hell did talking about sans-underpants become a wank about circumcision?
My mind. It is blown.
YOU SAID IT! YOU SAID THE ‘C’ WORD!
WE STEPPED SO LIGHTLY AROUND THE SUBJECT AND THEN YOU JUST GO AND THROW IT OUT THERE TO CONFRONT EVERYBODY!
A real man is blunt. BLUNT I SAY. Which is why the Captain’s chin is a hard square and Jared’s is a pointy point.
Also olololCaptainit’sCommander
You know, I happen to really like the sudden shift into traditional media. Sure it’s not as refined and polished as digital media, but it’s got a sort of grit to it. Character, if you will.
i was wearing a kilt and smoking a cigar at my graduation party last week. and now i see the Commander in a kilt! AWESOME :D
I like this one and the previous one, but this is the continuation of the plot or just a random gag?
Are you changing your drawing style or it’s just a temporary change?
I haven’t had time to draw proper comics the past couple weeks so I did things that would be faster to draw instead of skipping the updates, I say so in the comment section under the strip.
erm… sorry about that :p
Coela, are you English or American?
Or Neither?
Canadian.
Hell Yeah!
Us Canadians prove once again that we should not be overlooked!
I don’t think I’ll ever forget the question I saw on are you smarter than a 5th grader…..
Question: “Which country is above the US”
Contestant: “Ummm…..Mexico?”
Two opposite takes on Canada I recall:
—
God was making the Earth and describing the process to an angel. “Now, here we have Canada – I will give it beautiful scenery, rich resources and wonderful people. It will as a paradise second only to Eden.”
“But God, isn’t that unfair to all the other lands on Earth?” said the angel.
“Oh no… Just wait till you see what kind of neighbors I’m giving them.”
—
“The tragedy of Canada is that it had the opportunity to have English culture, French food and American technology… But instead ends up with English food, French technology and American culture.”
Completely inaccurate, we ended up with American food, American technology, and American culture.
three times as bad ;)
I kid, i’m sure america isn’t THAT bad ¬_¬
I think if you lived on a steady diet of French Canadian Cuisine you would be dead by seventeen. The body can only handle so much poutine and sugar pie.
Wait, not at all, we burn all those calories right up from chopping trees with handaxes, dog-sled riding and wrestling with mooses in knee-deep snow in the crisp, -40 celcius weather! ;)
Hey, don’t make fun, we had tree-chopping contests, dog-sled races, moose, knee-deep snow, and -40 Celsius weather where I grew up.
Which explains this comic. *thumbs up*
I flippin love sugar pie D:
as a french canadian i can honestly say. LOL ^_^ so true
Best insult I ever heard from a Canadian: What’s the difference between America and a cup of yogurt? After 200 years, the yogurt develops a culture.
Oh, Canada, the only nation manly enough to stand between the US and the North Pole.
Ehhh I think the North Pole might be too manly for us Americans that don’t live in Alaska anyhow.
More like the country manly enough to take manifest destiny and say: “Denied!!! Now we burn down your white house!” :P
Manly to flip poles while wearing a skirt without underpants?
Therein lies the paradox. Pink Cadillacs and all.
You go watch a heavy event and tell me those guys aren’t fukken hardcore.
Yay, Uxbridge! We now have running water and electricity now, so come for a visit!
Another highly enjoyable comic. Helps makes Mondays quite a bit better.
Sorry, 1 too many “now-es”.
So basically you were doing research for the comic. A necessary task.
Yes! We salute you for doing what Stephenie Meyer never did! Or did only like… once…
I and a bunch of other guys at an SCA event tried a miniture version of caber tossing. It was with 6-foot long, old railroad ties, and we just mostly judged how far we could get it.
Considering I’m a scrawny 135 lbs., I about gave myself a hernia.
:P
Those railroad ties are compressed and treated with all sorts of terrible chemicals. A caber is actually easier to throw, believe it or not. The weight is better distributed. Still takes a barbarian to throw one. :)
KILT WEARERS UNITE!
Oh floooooooooooooooower of scooooooootlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand
Cheers mate!
Absolutely respect your choice of watching the Uxbridge Games. And a good comic still came from it :L
I got a little question her, if Jared is broke, how comes he have enought money to get a new shirt every day? XD
He doesn’t buy a new shirt every day, he just brought clothes on his trip.
well anyway, he has a big flying-water dragon, can’t he just get over Mr.fish, get back home, take his 360 and get back to work? :)
by the way, love your comic, its my favourite comic ever!
Uh, Jared lives in the world of pokemon. Just because he has a gyarados with no qualms about eating a pikachu doesn’t mean that his next door neighbor doesn’t have Zapdos or Articuno or something.
No, Because Gyrados can’t learn fly.
so what? he can still ride it home, its not like if he can’t move 0.o
Jared probably doesn’t have enough badges to use Surf out of battle. ~:(
good point…..
Sweet! We just had Islendingadagurren up here and had a viking battle that was pretty badass, no caber toss though. Log lifting though.
I shall acquire a kilt one of these days, though they are somewhat expensive and I have spent most of my cash on Guinness and Manowar cds *sigh*.
It is traditional to not wear underwear under a kilt…
Hmm… I’m noticing a new template/layout for the comics since last week’s update.
Love the last panel.
I said right on the comment under the comic (and once to another person asking about the same thing) that it looks different because I didn’t have enough time with my computer this week to draw a normal strip.
Sorry I missed that. It’s still good nonetheless. Better than my comics!! =)
This… I approve.
Not that men in kilts require my approval, but… yeah.
i’ve been to 3 highland games competitions this year.. only competed in one though.
That’s pretty rad! How’d you do?
I went to the Highland games in Enumclaw on Sunday.
Someday I’ll be able to go to a Highland games sort of event. And if Tartanic is playing there, that might be too much happy for my brain to handle.
I’m reading this at six o’clock in the morning before work, and I read the second panel as “This is the manliest way to be a princess”.
LOL!
I seriously lol’d at this.
Nice half ass job. XD Nah, I’m just teasing
Hey nice! Did you use Copic or something else?
Some combination of Copics and prismas.
Contrary to popular belief, we Scots DO wear underwear when we wear kilts. Scotland is bloody COLD!
Dude, I’m from Northern Canada. I almost invariably make fun of anybody who complains about cold.
Contrary to Craig’s comment, we don’t, particularly not based on the cold.
Being an avid Scottish fan of the kilt, I can happily put across that it depends on the person and how comfortable they are with, for want of a better term, “being naked under their clothes”.
Unless, like Craig, they’re a little frightened of their balls getting chilly.
I am a Scotsman and a true one at that. I spent my weekend at the Halkirk highland games near Thurso on the North coast (watching caber tossing as well – definitely hardcore guys) and I don’t wear anything underneath. My kilt is heavy enough to keep out the cold and it feels much more free. And yes, I do swim in the North sea frequently.
I think I’m starting to develop a crush on the Commander.
What do you mean, “starting to?” XD Back to the end of the line sister(?)
I think just “Back to the end of the line” is enough here. Gender be damned.
Gender be damned indeed…
I just want to be his friend. He and I can swap war stories.
I like to hope that there are lots of women out there like you, Coelasquid. The whole attracted to girly men thing is too out of control, at least here in California.
I could see how that would be a problem.
Twilight!!!!!!!!!!
Do not defile the house of Brando with that sparkly vampire bullshit!
I will discipline you.
There are. But in my experience (and at least a few of my friends) if I admit liking manly dudes I catch tons of crap over it from the girly-boy lovers, so for a while I just stopped admitting it.
This comic needs more references to Teddy Roosevelt and/or Andrew Jackson.
Also, one or two referencing Australia, where everything is trying to kill you. Except some of the sheep.
you ever consider putting the Alien and/or Predator from the Alien Predator, and AVP franchises into the comic? i can just imagine an alien and a Predator trying to do paperwork in an office cubicle :P
The Highland games are coming up soon where I live! *excitement*
Oh, Commander =w=
*nods* Going commando, the only TRUE way to wear a kilt. I salute you for keeping with the tradition, Commander!!
I like Jared, I hope he learns from the Commander’s awesomeness. Not too soon, though.
Coelasquid,
I just found this comic, read the archives, and am quite sure you have succeeded in winning the internet. It’s been months since I laughed out loud in the literal sense by something I saw online. You’ve got a die-hard new fan. Kudos!
Just as the five o’clock stubble is the manliest facial hair, which commander was presumably born with.
5 o’clock shadow plus chops ;P
It doesn’t matter what time the clock says. To the Commander, it’s ALWAYS 5 o’ clock!
Oh God Jared’s face in the last panel. It’s like he’s really trying not to think about it, but the more he concentrates on not thinking about it…You know.
You know, I think it is good that Jared is spending lots of time with the Commander, he is learning what a true manly man does in his spare time. Manly men do not sit and watch sports on tv in their underwear whilst drinking beer in their free time. REAL Manly men take off all their clothes and unders, put on wife-beater and a kilt and go to the shop to work on the car, or make something to pass the time.
Also, the sitting in front of the tv in underwear and drinking beer sounds too much like white trash and the Commander sure as hell ain’t that
I bend things and grow epic beards in my free time. Sometimes if I’m really bored I woo women with my masculine bagpipe playing D:<
you know, I really like this style.
and the commander: so badass, so awesome, so hot. Gawd!
Awesome comic as always!
Also, reading trough comments is always fun too. Really, each to their own, just like whoever you like! We all have different tastes and likings after all!
I, for my part, do love women that can laugh at raunchy jokes and can speak their mind!
Oh, Commander Badass… You look sexy as hell no matter what you wear <3
Reminds me of Utilykilt ads. :D
You know, this comic was a partial inspiration for a party that I am having in a couple weeks. The No Pants party.
Omg! I’m Scottish so actually this was hilarious to me on a whole different level!!!! When I saw him in a Kilt I was like “OMG! Commander in a kilt!” My dad would solely agree with the commander, rofl, on that whole aspect in my opinion.
On another note.. Yes I can also see where you having to watch men throw poles around all day would compel you to draw this ): How can someone be manly while strutting around in a knee-length skirt? Haha. I digress, I bet it feels nice in Scotland wearing those things!(Seeing as technically it IS custom to be commando in a Kilt…)
chur.
Absurdly late and what not, but am I the only one that doesn’t imagine Commander’s voice as someone else’s? I’ve probably got it COMPLETELY wrong with a ridiculously thick, gravelly Southern accent.
As in, southern US. Er. Central southern US? I dunno. Think Georgia and stuff, not
God’s waiting roomFlorida.I would love to see that, honestly. Sounds quite….interesting, to say the least. I know a guy JUST like Commander who wears kilts. He, too, says that I assume he wears underwear. XDDD
As a fully blown broguish European (Irish, so my men aren’t the ones throwing telephone poles, but the ones drunk and cheering the beskirted men on in the stands)
I can whole-heartedly sympathize with your activities the weekend prior to this comic being posted.
Godspeed, woman.
Aside, it’s very hard not to make a loud, randy, and over-the-top catcall at kilted commander. Poor Jared’s face.
the true manliest way to be pantsless is to just go full buck. nothing says “manly” like full confidence in your body and total disregard for laws that try to tell you what you have to wear. although, wearing a thick coating of enemy blood also counts.
To feeeeel the kiill.
DO THEY REALLY DO THAT!? I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO STRANGE THINGS!! ASPECIALLY WHEN IT INVOLVES THROWING SOMETHING LIKE A TELEPHONE POLE OR A CONSTRUCTION HAMMER!!
♪I’m not wearing underwear today!/No, I’m not wearing underwear today!/Not that your probably care/much about my underwear/still, nonetheless, I gotta saaaaay/that I’m not wearing underwear to-daaaaaaa-aaaaaaayy!♪
For once in my life i curse my great imagination skills.
… If a dude was hanging around in his underwear, that automatically negates being pantsless… as he has already been officially declared as wearing pants.
Like seriously Jared… get a clue.
I don’t understand wearing underwear. I think I’d rather start wearing clothespins on my ear lobes, nose, & mouth instead of going back to wearing underwear.