I know this strip probably could have ended three panels earlier, but then I wouldn’t have been able to throw in that lame Robocop 3 joke that no one probably gets.
Works for me.
Hey I get it too! :D
And assuming Robocop is really from the 80’s, then theyare obviously ALOT older than me. Seeing how I was born within the last five years of the 90’s (I refuse to say what year in extreme fear of identity theft; deal with it, I was raised cautious)
I love robocop. And those kids are adorable.
And the ex looks suitably bitchy to find a reason to divorce hom… or vice versa…
I agree with Rustcrust entirely. |D
Now why the hell do they look exactly like the warmech from final fantasy?
Must have been a popular design in the 80’s. Final Fantasty and Robocop came out the same year (albeit Robocop came several months earlier)
From the Robocop Wiki “Director Paul Verhoeven made it clear very early on that ED-209 shouldn’t look “cute.” He wanted the robot to look hard and mean. For this reason, various common robot features were left out. There are no eyes on the ED-209, for instance, since Craig Davies believed they conveyed too much emotion as well as being clichéd. According to RoboCop writer Ed Neumeier, the ED-209 robot was designed to resemble a bipedal Vietnam War-era Huey helicopter. The robot’s digitigrade stance makes ED-209 a so-called chicken walker.
Craig Hayes (then Davies) also incorporated his ideas about modern 1980s American design, especially car design, into the robot. He envisioned futuristic designers making the robot look good in order to make it marketable before they made it work well, “just like an American car.” The crew commentary audio track on the Criterion Collection DVD release confirms the obvious allusion to ridiculous corporate design policies, with such features as an clearly over-designed hydraulic system, over-attention paid to aesthetics and the placement of vulnerable features such as the radiator grill on the very front of the robot.”
Actually, I thought the ex looked a lot like the disguise that the T-1000 Terminator used (John Conner’s foster mother) in T2…Now that was a REAL bitch, even before the T-1000 “copied” her.
I don’t think she’s bitchy I think she couldn’t put up with the time traveling and never knowing just when or where her hubby was at and what he was doing.
Why does the ex remind me of Moon Over June…
Love the Robocop reference, worked nicely there.
Oh god it’s summer hahah she got a perm!
naw, she’s just got big curly hair.
I love that big curly hair. If I wasn’t afraid she’d bite my hand off I’-…
I just realized she’s a redhead. Or it completely clicked in my head that it makes PERFECT SENSE that the commander would have a red head ex wife. I’m not sure why. Probably the stereotypes.
ANYways if I wasn’t afraid she’d gouge my eyes out I’d pet her hair. Love me some curls
You will never mention that ever again.
Yeah I was planning on apologizing because that thing can’t compare to this comic at all. Now let us all try and forget that thing exists.
I kinda got the RC3 joke, been awhile since I’ve seen the movie though.
Eh, it’s just some scene where a little kid reprograms a 209 to be “Loyal as a puppy” so it will help them.
It kinda served as part of a long running gag where ED-209 is utterly useless in its designed purpose, of course.
Especially on stairs…Even in a role of “urban pacification,” it was never designed to handle stairs…
Now there is a smart sales clerk. Give him a tip!
I got the joke though Im not sure Badass wants his kids splattered with the blood of the ex
I actually got the Robocop 3 joke. Too bad the little girl wasn’t the sales clerk
It’s great to know that somebody is still willing to immortalize one of my favorite series of all. Sure, I also grew up to Aliens, Predator, Terminator, Die Hard, and Pulp Fiction, but Robocop was just… something I’ve loved that little bit more since I was 4.
And ED209 deserved to be treated better. It’s not his fault he didn’t hear the gun drop during that board meeting demo. :(
Robocop is a perfect movie. There is nothing wrong with Robocop.
There’s something incredibly wrong with Robocop. It ends. Guess they ran out of windows to break.
I feel as if the OCP archetype is becoming more and more relevant in the US every day.
I’ve actually never seen Robocop, but since I gotta return V for Vendetta tomorrow I’ll rent it!
See, here I was hoping they’d go catch themselves a Gyarados. The giant robot’s not a bad alternative, though.
It would just fight with Mr. Fish and they’d shoot lasers everywhere and it would be such a mess.
Not if it was a sassy dame Gyarados!
…Then those kids would get a very awkward lesson in Pokemon breeding, don’t you think?
hot skitty on wailord action. tell me how a kitten and a freaking whale breed please. ive been trying to figure it out for a while.
They lay eggs, they can be fertalised externally.
Wait if two Gyarados’s mate the offspring is a Magikarp?
…Where did you think Magikarps, which evolve into Gyarados, came from?
Oh my God, someone make that happen!
I don’t think there is room for more then one mister fish. Buildings in this place are not pokey man compatable,
Why not get them a chimeco or one of those dinky object-like pokemon? They’re cheaper than those machines I bet… And, I think most don’t eat or defaecate…
Naaah, Gyarados isn’t the right kinda pet for this situation. She wants something not messy, that takes care of itself, and will hold their attention.
Clearly, she wants them to have a Magnezone.
It’s somewhat curious to see the Commander smiling so much. I daresay he’s become goofy almost.
Matching teeth gaps awh.
Hey, he loves his kids, nothin’ wrong with that.
…Loves them enough to punch ’em matching teeth gaps?
I have to admit, I laughed.
That’s because your a horrible person D:
He’s not the only one.
I figured he did, he seems fatherly. Actually sorta reminds me of my dad, all stony but get him around a squirt and it’s all smiles and laughs.
Good comic, really like it, I love robocop, need to buy those movies.
The ex-wife is fine, a freckled, albino, ginger woman is beutifull
Yeah, just like the commander to bag the firey vixen. Or souless femme fatale.
She doesn’t seem like a terribly bitter ex. Probably just divorced since he was always gone on time-missions stopping himself from winning Vietnam and such.
Nah, shes soulless because shes a ginger. Or an ex femme fatal that didnt go the “Happily ever after” route and keep the family together
And if he went BACK in time to loose the war, wouldn’t it make sense to come BACK a minute or so after he left?
I go with the ex-femme fatale, she probably didn’t go to a life of evil back cause she cares about her kids.
Hahahaha, great week. The Ex even looks like my ex wife, which makes it extra special.
So, I guess heroes really do want redheads…
I’m sorry, but I can’t see Commander Badass marrying a freckled, albino, ginger.
Also, is it weird if in my head I read Commander “Thadeus” Badass?
Hey man, can’t help who you fall for.
It just seems like an oxymoron though. You can’t be an albino if you’re a ginger because the smallest amount of sun causes you to burst into flames. And you can’t have freckles if you don’t get out in the sun.
It’s all very confusing. I need to stop thinking so much,
I wasn’t the one who called her albino. You can’t have red hair if you’re albino either. I mean, I guess you could dye it.
Freckles are just mutations in skin pigmentation, though. They show up more often in the sun but you can have them without sunlight like you can have birthmarks without sunlight. Albinos can’t have them as far as I know because they have no pigment.
Nerdy explanation: That’s correct, albinos can’t have freckles. Freckles are localized areas of hyperpigmentation, whereas albinism is complete hypomelanoma. (Incomplete reduction across all types of pigment is “leucism”. White lions are actually leucistic, for instance, as well as piebald deer and stuff.) Therefore, an albino freckling is impossible. Albinos don’t always have red eyes, though; their eyes are often blue. This is because the blue in “blue eyes” isn’t a blue pigment. Instead, it’s an effect of photon scattering (similarly, birds do not have any blue pigment, even bluebirds and bluejays. It’s an effect from the structure of their feathers.) More specifically, it’s called the Tyndall effect. Hope that was interesting! :)
Damn, you guys googled my ass.:(
The more you know!
That’s awesome! One of my friends is albino and she has the light blue eyes. They’re really pretty. She looks like an ice maiden.
…Wow, that was a lot of science stuff!
Wouldn’t have to be albino; I’m almost as brightly colored (there is no foundation makeup as light as I am, I’ve made a few Avon and MK people cry because I used it as a basis that if they could match my color, they could have the sale – no winners), I have freckles in the summer time – and almost an instant crispy red burn (okay, takes closer to 5 minutes, but still), with strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes.
Gonna pop in from the future to say that albinos /can/ have red hair! Albinos usually don’t completely lack pigment in the hair/eyes, which is why most albinos have blue eyes and not red eyes. The most common hair color for albinos is blonde, but very light red is also possible. I don’t think it’d be as vibrant as Ms. Badass’s, though, for obvious reasons.
Pfft. Gingers burst into flames, too. It just so happens that after all the blistering and skin peeling and painful healing, there is no tan afterward – just a handful more freckles than before. With pale skin underneath. It sucks, but we live.
“a freckled, albino, ginger.”
You say these words like they were a bad thing.
“You told me you had PROTECTION.”
“Dammit, I was talking about my car insurance!”
More like a hot sexy thing, AMIRITE?
No, I do not think you are D:
>freckled albino ginger
i just shat brix
Dammit mr.klean. Now I look like an unnintentional sub-concious ass-hole.
Way to go.
You’re just jealous. XD
Clearly, everyone needs to learn an important life lesson here: Irish girls are awesome.
Just want to say that I think it’s adorable how the kids just vanish into a big ol’ Commander hug. This week’s comic was one big awwwwww.:)
1st/4th Panel- ACTUAL shark.
Hey, it IS the commander’s kid after all…
It reminded me of shark piledriving.
you have won my internets today
Oh my god both his children and his ex are adorable.
I love her face in panel three, I get the feeling the box of spiders incident was within the last hour or so.
Fun fact. Daddy Long Legs aren’t spiders; they’re close but they’re not spiders.
They are also one of the most poisonous of “spiders.” Their fangs are just too small to bite anything bigger than them.
not true. look it up. they tested it on mythbusters
Mythbusters proved a Daddy Longleg can bite. Hell, I’ve been bit by one. Very mild pain, no major reaction. They have weak venom.
Yeah, that’s an incredible urban legend. It only started because they hunt spiders like black widows. The truth is, they’re just faster.
Actually, Daddy Long Legs refers to one of three things: Cellar Spiders, Harvestmen (a type of Arachnid with a cool name and little to no research dedicated to them aside form like 8 dudes) and Crane Flies. All three of them have the super-venom myth, too.
That is easily the cutest little boy I have ever seen.
actually, if you’re talking about harvestmen, they’re not even close. and i loved daddy-long-legs as a kid (and now).
otherwise, ahem: D’AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW.
i’m kind of curious yet terrified to find out just why they divorced….
I’m putting $50 on Sammy being a selfish little bint and $25 on the commander being a wee bit neglectful, considering his line of work and all.
Naw, he’s just really shy.
To quote a very clever brunette: Is there any way to tell how much of what you say is just complete bullshit?
Sam, that is.
errr harvestmen may not be a spider but they are still arachnids, in my book that is still cool….
But if we are talking about cellar spiders (Also known as daddy longlegs) they are a spider thru and thru.
But otherwise is it me or is the left hand side of Comanders sons’ face just happens to be blocked from our site.
I squeed. Just a little.
What is it with big muscly badass guys often being the most awesome daddies?
But wait until his little girl starts bringing boys home O-O.
As commander has said previously, real men don’t need to prove themselves. They have self confidence enough to not take their issues out on others. That’s a major part of being a good parent.
Because, a proper badass always has someone to protect. And what needs protection more than a small child. Plus, they don’t honestly care about how hardcore you are so it gives you the ability to sit and have fun with being awesome.
I personally would be terrified to find out of those kids did need protection or not. They are the commanders kids. I bet at least one is a judo master, and the other one has a gun that shoots guns that shoot deep fried beer cans.
the robocop reference made the strip
I want one D:
What store does the commander go to that sells ED-209s? Cause I want one too.
I can completely empathise with the guy behind the counter.
All together now: AAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!
Who in their right mind would divorce this cuddly bear of a man? ^w^
And once again you are my hero.
Honestly, you’re such a great character designer. Every new one that pops up feels like it could’ve been carefully worked on for years. Also, the great white shark is such a neat detail – Cute, yet manly.
I appreciate it! But that’s a tiger shark ;P
And here I thought it was baby sharky! I was so excited to find a little reference to our childhood :D
Actually, tiger sharks are THE most agressive sharks around. Great Whites aren’t close to being that agressive, so it fits.
That’s my little bro, he was just wondering if I was using his plush shark from when he was a kid.
Then let me complement your little bro. He types like a master, not a single typo in that post. He’s a man on the internet!
(I’m a grammar nazi and proud of it)
Ahh, sorry, but from one Grammar Nazi to another– that’s supposed to be “compliment”.
That’s not even grammar-related :P
Grammar encompasses spelling and vocabulary. =D
Tiger Shark Plushie = Win!
It’s kind of cool to see a human side to the Commander. This really shows him as the middle ground between all the super macho guys and normal people. Lol the kids take after him.
But of course the Robocop 3 joke had to be put in there just to make it manly. Great work!
Eh, she probably decided she wanted some kinda “Sensitive” guy like Feodor down at the Coffee Shop. Too bad HE only was interested in her so he could get his Green Card punched, If ya knowwhatimean.
But The Commander? You’ll never EVER hear a bad word about her outa his mout’.
I didn’t think it was possible, but panel 2 made me love the Commander just that little bit more. It’s so nice to see a character that is multi-faceted, even while being a satirical figure.
Well done, Coelasquid.
Alas, born in the wrong generation it appears to get the Robocop reference outside of knowing it by name. Maybe I should go find it at blockbuster or something, give it a rent.
I get the Robocop 3 joke… I just wish I didn’t.
I wish my dad had bought me an ED-209 for a pet…
He should have gotten them a jigglypuff. Then they’d constantly be asleep and he’d never have to yell shut up at them ever again.
You’re evil, you know that?
I like that.
I just like the ring to the name. I’m more of a True Neutral who swings between Chaotic Neutral and Lawful Neutral if I feel like it.
I was referring to your post (using a jigglypuff to never have to babysit again), not your name. In fact, I never noticed it before. You being called “EvilEarl” just made me chuckle loudly. :lol:
I would have preferred a Heavy Lobster. Those things are so shiny and they would definitely have made me the coolest kid on the block.
Heh. Got the joke. Ah, the good ol’ movies of old…
Which chickenwalker has two guns? I count four of them and three walkers :S
They all have two guns, perspective is just blocking half of them.
… Holy moly… The Commander is the Best. Dad. Ever. I WANT ONE!
The kids are so cute! And I kinda squeed in spirit…
“Maintenance” is a tricky word to spell right. I always want to write it “maintainance” because of “to maintain”. “Mantinance” sounds more manly I suppose. ;)
Eh fuck, that’s what I get for doing these things when I get home from work at midnight, I guess. I’ll fix it whenever I get the chance.
I can’t believe I missed that typo too. I usually never do.
That’s what I get for reading these comics in a hurry :\
I think of it (this helps if you have a little French/Latin) as follows:
“main” as in hand (like manual), “tenance” as in holding (like tenancy)… thus, “maintaining” something by holding it in your hand.
I usually spell it right, but when I get a chance to work on these my eyes are pretty futzed from wearing contacts all day and I make a lot of little errors and stuff.
The Robocop joke works, but if you thought it would rag on you could’ve ended it with the Commander’s panel where he reminds the salesman that he is purchasing for his kids and you could have left it blank with the Commander just giving him a deeply confused look. Or maybe I’m wrong, it does give a different feeling but it should essentially boil down to meaning the same joke only with one less panel and fewer lines of dialogue, but other than that it was a great strip
I think it’s funny. The punchline at the end really brings it home.
I actually nearly cried when your site flipped me the 404… then i smiled when i managed to refresh and it worked. XD
It’s like his kids are TINY in comparison to him… I have two kids and at no time was i able to hold either of them in the mannor of which the commander is… LEGS GOT EVERYWHERE XD
I figure he’s like, a Brock-Lesnar-sized guy. Still gettin’ used to drawing kids to scale, though. Like, cartoon kids are tough, they’re always smaller than real ones are by comparison to the adults.
2nd panel in this strip is the most d’awwwwwwww enducing moment in the whole webcomic.
And I’m perfectly okay with that. It’s manly to be a great father.
Needs moar freckles
I withhold finale judgment of ex’s bitchy-ness till further interaction confirms or denies first impression. Lol. For all I know this could be the first and last time we see her or she may just stay within the fringe of being an established presence but never explored character wise or interacted with.
She could be the stereotypical bitch that all the ‘good’ military guys always end up with/get sucked dry by.
She could have been real awesome until the wear and drama of having a military husband wore her down, made her bitter and she opted out.
Or she could be like the Spartan wife in 300 and there was another reason for the split.
Also- Robocop ref- so worth the going over 3 panels.
Giant death-bots are the best kind of pet.
You forgot to put the strip in the RSS feed!
If it didn’t do it automatically, then I don’t know what’s wrong, I’ve never had to touch anything RSS related.
This just made a mundane shitty day into awesome.
I remember a few comics back someone mentioned that the Comander’s kids were cute little girls until you pissed them off and they leave you bleeding in the gutter.
And I must say, those kids most deffinately look like they would leave you bleeding in the gutter if they got the chance. Albeit Sammy strikes me as being a boy, they would make a great team!
Aww, what cute kids! Shame the marriage didn’t work out, though. He seems like he’d be a good family man.
I’ve seen cuter.
has the little boy got chest hair yet? i mean, considering who his father is.
Why am I attracted to the ex?
Oh right, Red hair… wondrous Red hair.
I can’t disagree with you there. Red hair is pretty attractive.
Yep, I think it’s like, half the reason I have a crush on Dr. Jekyll in the LXG movie.
The ED-209 is from Robocop 1, not 3. RC3 had the ninja-bot.
Robocop three had a little girl reprogram a 209 to be “Loyal as a Puppy”
I was actually expecting the Commander’s ex to look a little different, and be a little more bitchy, like yelling at him for being one second late. I know this is only her first appearance, but here she behaves more like a wife/girlfriend. Guess she wants to stay on the Commander’s good side!
Or you know, she’s more interested in being a parent than a bitch?
That too. Good point.
I’m intreiged by the little boys face, you never see all of it. Makes me think he’s hiding an increadably manly chin under that shark
SHARK WEEK. Don’t think I didn’t notice.
adorable kids, manly dad, hot mom. i want to be in that family
Then it would be kind of odd for you to be oogling your mom. >>
“the grass is always greener….”
Most men become several times more adorable when holding kids.
This proves that the super-manly ones are no exception.
If anything, super manly ones become even more proportionately adorable.
It’s true…before I saw this, I thought the Commander was really cool…now I am kind of in love with him. I may need therapy. :\
I already was in love with him, this just increased it.
Nah, don’t worry; the joke may be unnecessary, but it works perfectly. I’ve been in that “Don’t want to assume” position with customers once or twice before…
I got it. Thank you for the obscure joke that I got!
I love how the lost tooth gene seems to be hereditary.
I think his daughter just has a gap. It’s centered, ya’see?
I don’t understand the joke … but AWWW his kids are adorable. :)
I think the ”Loyal as a puppy” OS would be best for him.
Marvelous! Allthough didn’t care too much for the RC3, loved the first one when I was a kid.
Just a week ago I was discussing about RC in general with my friend and came to the conclusion how great and in another way devestating the movie was… All you care about is money etc. :P
That second panel makes me want to just… smooch the Commander to here and back.
I found something odd with those Eds…
if the Ed of the right has two guns, and the Ed of the left has two guns, then where are the guns of the middle Ed? In repair?
It’s the same robot copied and pasted a bunch so I could draw the comic on time, the ones closer to the front are just blocking the guns on the ones beside them.
I love how the Commander can go from looking like the happiest guy on the planet to ready to kick some tail in 3 panels.
kekeke I’d love to see one of those girls get her hands on something like Garchomp or Blastoise. Nothing as big as Mr.Fish… or there might be… errr… complications >w>
I have a creeping suspicion that Commander will, in fact, choose the “Authorized to Use Physical Force” OS.
That is quite possibly the cutest stuffed shark ever. Thank you for sharing this :)
Is there ANY chance at all, to get bigger pictures of the cutest stuffed shark ever? I love it so much.
Robocop invented “Oh My God, They Killed Kenny!” 10 years before South Park did.
I’m the only one that gets THAT reference, apparently.
And they did “Think you can outsmart a bullet?” like twenty years before TF2.
I expected his kids to be cute, but they are just too adorable! Who doesn’t love the combination of badass guys with adorable children?!
asdfghjkl; SOOOO CUTE
I want a plush shark now.
Well… do you imagine one of those with a license dog plate, in a booming mechanical voice “WOOF WOOF”, under a tree with its laser sights in a cat?
Or worse, upping the leg in a hydrant?
And the name could be Scooby…
(Insert evil maniacal laughter)…
It’s better with the last three panels. I got such a kick out of this one.
Oh god. He mated with a GINGER!
WHY, CAPTAIN?! WHY?!!!
I’m pretty sure you drew Maurice Moss.
I have no idea who that is…
Second panel made me squee. Somethin’ about big manly guys getting all snuggly with their spawnlings just gets me every time.
You kidding? The RoboCop 3 joke is awesome, even though that movie is not even remotely as epic as the first. But, you know, I’m just that big of a nerd. So you get points.
Gimmie a tenner.
I got the Robocop 3 the second I saw it. Thanks for the nostalgia.
One question: In a universe with Mr. Fish and Kane sharing the same work space, why is she concerned about daddy long legs? The least of her problems should be giant rats in the basement.
where did the red head (Sammy i think) come from
Sam is his son, June is his daughter, Madeline is his ex wife
And there’s still no answer to the question.
I’m sorry but this was hilarious!! X3
lol loyal as a puppy
This is a random, rather late comment but… I actually have that shark plushie =|
WHERE IS THAT STORE?! I WANT TO GO TO THAT STORE!!
Robocop 3. Mmmm, good stuff. Robocop in a jetpack, samurai robots, and an adorable little hacker kid that saves the day.
I know the comment was made almost two years ago, but that made me hurt a little inside. (She’s using a Toshiba Libretto, so that was cool. But the fact she’s living in a ghetto and has access to technology, education, and that the 209’s have interface ports that work at the speed of a serial port… just sad.)
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