Speaking as the wife of a giant athletic man, there is no such thing as “leftovers” around huge dudes who recreationally pick up heavy things.
I can see a big ol’ banner and they probably advertise. Keeping such a place secret is probably a plan doomed to fail.
Though if the owners moved into a neighborhood with a history of bankrupt all-you-can-eat restaurants because they didn’t bother to research the area, they probably deserve whatever they get.
I mean, the restaurant isn’t tryng to keep it secret, Commander just isn’t tipping off the other guys who might not have ventured down that street yet. People don’t usually explore neighbourhoods they’ve got their routine set in.
Plus, most of those guys probably don’t pay attention to anything that doesn’t have an objective marker on their mini-maps.
…. That’s a moment of fridge brilliance right there.
As long as you don’t put it in the main page.
I can believe it this as sadly I’ve missed a few good places by sticking with a routine. It is harder to break that up then most people realize when life kinda limits your time. :(
I literally know how that works. I recently went to work in part of city that kinda doesn’t have a lot going in for it. It’s an old industrial area with living areas being a bit far from it. I naturally assumed there’s no good place to eat at that part of the city. Until co-worker invited me to lunch. So I asked her where we are going and she tried explaining, I got a bit confused because it didn’t make much sense.
“What do you mean just around the corner, through a tunnel in old factory building?”. Well, I went through the tunnel, into industrial era factory courtyard and… side by side, italian restaurant, some high end place and, of course, a hipster place that by day serves affordable good food and during the night turns into a cocktail bar. And the whole place was filled people.
When I asked anyone I knew, absolutely anyone, they had no idea there were restaurants there. Now it’s my go-to lunch place. And it’s great.
This is what Yelp is supposed to be for. But then everyone just starts using Yelp rather than looking around and Yelp becomes Yelpless.
Real life objective markers.
Im kinda surprised these guys dont eat at Golden Corral or some other buffet all the time anyway.
Probably avoids Golden Corral. The last time I ate there all the meat was under cooked or in the case of the meatloaf raw and lukewarm.
I don’t know, Golden Corral, atleast in Texas, has a great breakfast. But I agree, their lunch and dinners are all crap.
I bet all of them except Ganondorf and the Commander do, now that you mention it. Even if their local Golden Corral is as bad as the one Alexn went to, it wouldn’t occur to them to stop eating there. Commander had to tell them not to eat trash ham!
The food at Golden Corral is worse than garbage. You have to PAY to eat at Golden Corral
How many ways can we cook chicken? HAHAHA ‘cook’!
“Though if the owners moved into a neighborhood with a history of bankrupt all-you-can-eat restaurants because they didn’t bother to research the area, they probably deserve whatever they get.”
You’d be surprised. There’s plenty of strip malls and street corners that have a new business every year, and people never learn. Sometimes there’s a reason(bad traffic flow, bad water, whatever), other times it’s just that that plot is cursed. Either way, as soon as one place closes expect a new one to open with bright-eyed owners who have just a wonderful idea to bring a fresh touch to the area.
There was an Asian buffet that changed their address from a non-prosperous street number to the prosperous one from the cross-street. I think that they are still there.
Restauranteering is also an insanely cut-throat business with tight margines and perverse incentives which can actually punish success.
Like hey, you and your foody pals have helped gentrify the area, great, now I can charge twice as much to rent the space your using!
Interestingly enough, We’ve seen the full cycle of landords shooting themselves in the foot this way in our neighbourhood. Trendy business set up shop in the area, area got trendier, landlord raised the rent, restaurant shut down, now the space it was in is full of squatters and presumably less desirable to potential renters than it was before the restaurant moved in.
They have certain protections against that here in Canada, but they can be hard to enforce, mostly because with long term Leases or Renting the Renter can’t increase the rent beyond a certain ‘reasonable’ degree from one contact to the next. However, they are within their right to refuse to extend your contact, because a McDonald’s is willing to pay more to take advantage of the prime location you’ve created.
I continue to adore your Business Suit Ganon. XD He’s too adorable.
Y’know, for a big, buff guy XD
Saying ‘adorable for a big buff guy’ is like saying ‘strong for a girl’.
I strongly believe the two are not mutually exclusive. Ganon is the most adorable conqueror of lands/temp agent there is.
You. I like you.
As a tall big guy I can say, being called anything other than cute is 1000x better.
Now I’m getting images of Commander juggling and eating eggs like Gaston in Beauty and the Beast.
Nobody eats like Gaston!
We did some math on this once, if Gaston eats five dozen eggs a day, 78 calories an egg that’s like 4,680 calories. Commander’s physique is based on Brock Lesnar’s, who reportedly eats about 9000 calories a day to maintain his size. So if a guy the size and fitness level of Commander ate five dozen eggs he’d still have 4,320 calories to go (which is like… twice what a normal person eats in an average day).
That’s not really accounting for cholesterol and all but hey.
Chug egg whites instead. Most of the goodness but zero fat and cholesterol. (I’m dealing with gallstones; egg whites, ham and extra lean ground sirloin are my protein of choice because I like not feeling like I have a back ache in my right side.)
But egg whites aren’t nearly as tastey
But they taste great when you put ham and sirloin in it and fry it up.
The human body can only digest 300 g of protein in one day (and even that is going to screw you up long term). Each egg is 12 g or protein, so about 2 dozen eggs is the most a human can digest in a single day. So aside from getting even fewer calories from those eggs, Gaston must have France’s worst smelling craps.
That’s a common myth, in the same vein as the “human stomach can only hold 16 ounces” myth. In reality, the human body is quite malleable and can adjust to large degrees to cope with various scenarios. For instance, while the stomach at rest only has an internal volume of about 16 ounces, most people’s stomachs are capable of stretching up to about 4 liters (about 135 ounces) before they risk losing elasticity or rupturing.
Similarly, the consumption of protein activates a hormone that slows the digestive process, buying the small intestines the time they need to absorb all that protein. Even better, the small intestines are capable of sorting nutrients, allowing quick-absorbing substances to pass faster while hanging onto the slower stuff. Even if you ate nothing but cakes of pure protein, you’d die of malnutrition or a ruptured stomach before you reached the point where your intestines couldn’t absorb all of it.
Also, it isn’t the protein itself that causes farts to stink, but the sulfur bound to it (which your body promptly discards after extracting the protein).
That’s if your digestive system is working at the top of its game, which a lot of people’s aren’t. If your intestinal lining is inflamed, or you’re not producing enough digetive enzymes, or your gut flora ecosystem is unbalanced towards the wrong types of bacteria, your ability to absorb all the nutrients you consume is limited. It also depends on how spread out your meals are.
Stomach elasticity is also variable and changes based on the size of the meals you eat. A good look at the last two points are competitive eaters. While they show the extreme limits of stomach elasticity, they also show how far you have to go to get that kind of ability (and the limits of a person’s nutrient absorption capabilities).
Look up “rabbit starvation” sometime; a typical human simply can’t metabolize more than 300g of protein a day without their blood turning to poison.
But that has as much to do with lack of fat as amount of protein.
Rabbit starvation is caused by the limited ability to process protein into carbohydrates. It’s a different question from the ability to break proteins down and rebuild them into new proteins.
Commander confirmed to be twice the man as Gaston. Still pretty good for Gaston all things considered.
Gaston’s still in the running. He has those dozens of eggs “every morning”, so even assuming that’s 2 out of 5 big meals, he’s still got another 6000 calories coming during the rest of the day.
Cholesterol correlations have proven to be a distortion in recent research. People who eat lots of beef also eat lots of saturated fat and cholesterol. But when people with high saturated fat/cholesterol and low beef diets are separated from high beef diets the low beef group has low all cause mortality rates, high beef has high mortality rates (there are a number of theories about why exactly beef is bad coming out of this, but as of the last time I updated myself there was no clear answer).
TL;DR Eat plenty of eggs, but keep beef below 1kg a week.
Dietary cholesterol is no longer thought to be linked with blood cholesterol. Eat all your eggs, a lot of good micronutrients are in the yolk.
I can see Ganan enjoying a good mix of hashbrowns and using some fancy ketchups or mustards with them while also eating sandwiches made of bagels, steak and sausage.
I imagine pork products are a weird area for him.
Not necessarily, pigs are known to be cannibalistic.
Can’t really speak for ones with a human capacity for considering abstract thought.
I imagine it would be like humans eating monkeys or apes, which is definitely a thing in some parts of the world.
Still generally considered weird and uncomfortable to a lot of people.
Maybe ‘uncomfortableness’ is why their plan never was as popular as Sprint or AT&T lol.
Verizon and canabalism go well together.
World War 2 backs that up pretty well. If I recall correctly, a French unit was pinned down in a zoo during the Nazi invasion long enough to run out of supplies. They ended up killing and eating the animals to keep going. But they left the apes and monkeys alone.
I know French soldiers used to refer to crappy military food as “du singe” (literally “some monkey”) so I thought this was going to be an origin story for this expression, but turns out it wasn’t…
Also, as a side note, French miltary ration has made great progress since the time when we ate “singe”. Apparently, now during operations and trainings involving various nations’ armies, French soldiers can buy literally anything they want off other soldiers for a couple rations.
Spider-Ham, when he’s on human worlds, loves pork products and doesn’t see the mindless pigs as equivalent to him. And this was written by writers who seem not to know that he was a spider bitten by a radioactive pig.
So he is a Bear Sized Man-Pig? Man/Bear/Pig!
Never mind Link, Gannon should watch out for Al Gore!
Just because he was transformed into a boar-thing for a while? He was originally human, I thought. Maybe eating pork feels like revenge?
No, you don’t get it he comes from the desert so he must be a muslim and therefor forbidden from eating pork. How culturally insensitive of you.
He’s not a human. He’s a Gerudo
Gerudo are just a different tribe of humans. The females take Hylian men as mates.
Heh, the talks on Gerudo genetics are always sort of fun. That said, who is claiming Hylians are human? Humanoid sure, but you could claim they are a race of elves with roughly the same degree of accuracy.
I always figured the Hylians were some sort of half-elf race, like the Numenor.
Aren’t there humans in the Zelda games that can have kids with Hylians, and the only difference is that Hylians have pointy ears and were chosen by the goddesses?
Seems like Hylians are a specific subset of humans
WOW…Did you seriously just say that the Gerudo aren’t even human? That’s some next level racism.
*Looks at humanity*
Are you sure that wasn’t just a compliment?
could also be because Moblins(and their various kin) are often piglike in appearance(when they aren’t dogs or mice that is), and it might feel kinda weird to eat something that looks like one of your main types of mook
I could see some of the guys from their office just making it a big game of ‘who can eat the most’ right after a long morning run.
Jared’s so gonna ruin it for him.
I hope they eat the place empty, and to make up for it, Lobster sends the best cooks he’s got.
Mr Fish goes out for brunch :3
Jared became a professor for his pro feeding techniques (not 100% rare candy diet), so I would believe it.
Muscular dudes do burn more calories, thanks to the muscles.
I suppose Jared would be able to join too. The guy did eat like 50 pounds of gummy bears or something.
I hope no one approached him down Wind for days after. A bucket of beans has NOTHING on making you fart up a tornado like eating a huge amount of gummies all at once.
Look up “Haribo Hell Bears” and click the first link.
Oh hell, not those abominations.
Jared definitely strikes me as the kind of young skinny guy who is a black hole for food. I don’t imagine he can out-eat, say, Kratos, but I do imagine he can out-eat Jonesy. And Jonesy has quite a healthy appetite. (Though Jonesy probably eats more substantial food, and less candy and chips, than Jared does. Everyone except other young always-hungry guys probably eats less candy and chips than Jared.)
I mean, she’s kind of a slob, she probably doesn’t have the best eating habits hahaha
Haha! Yeah, given how you’ve shown us Jones, the most I can really say is that she’s more likely to eat brunch than Jared. I still imagine that if Jones and Jared went into a convenience store, Jones would consider options like jerky and crackers, while Jared would go straight for the candy every time.
I’ve had that leftovers issue with my family before. Particularly with my willowy sister who eats like a bird and often forgets he share in the fridge until it goes bad. I finally told her that if she lays claim to leftovers, she’s got 24 hours to eat it. After that it’s fair game.
The best way to get a buffet owner to cry is to bring a football team for lunch.
It’s either brunch, or living off of cheap bargain brand body builder shakes found on the obscure shelves at GMC.
I know how he feels. The hunger just doesn’t stop with a body this size.
Try dudes who pick stuff up as a full-time job, not a side hobby–it is really insane. There is no such thing as ‘too much’ break room food when you’re carrying 50 lbs at a jog for eight hours.
As a big dude who lifts things professionally, I can confirm that leftovers are not a thing that happens. “Serves 4,” HAH.
As a teenage american, “Serves Four” means I NEED four.
As a dwarven bulldozer who should lift things more often, I concur.
I wish I knew the feels. I pick up shit for a living but I’m built like a twig. Never gain weight, which is a curse when you need muscle to make your job easier.
It… it sounds like the problem is that you’re not eating enough protein.
Yeah… I’m actually pretty small (5’6″, medium build), but even when I was on the varsity fencing team in college I ate SO MUCH FOOD. I can only imagine how much it takes to sustain Cap and Ganondorf.
As a 6″4 110kg athlete I can assure you it is more food than is worth going out to eat. If I ever go out with friends to eat I meal prep before hand so I can eat when I get home too so I’m not hungry when I sleep.
Now anytime I see your Ganondorf all I can think of the song “Capture You” from Big Bad Bosses, as it is a love song Ganondorf is signing at Link. I keep picturing your Ganon doing it as a way to freak out Link and then the joke goes on so long they’re actually dating and Ganon doesn’t know how this happened.
Zelda: “Finally he’s seeing someone else. Link does nothing but yell.”
Peach: “Arguments are just horrible.”
Zelda: “No I mean he only yells. ‘Link, what do you want for lunch?’ ‘Hyaaa! HUA! Hyaa!’ The doctor took me off of the migraine medicine I was on to keep me from getting addicted to it.”
In fairness I think Link speaks fluent Silent-Protagonistese. He only started audibly yelling when Navi entered the scene if I recall correctly. ;)
So in other words, it’s a secret to everyone? : 3
Can’t B just jump back in time to before his favorite place closed?
Ugh. Now i’m getting a time travel headache.
Quantum brunch. Neat.
Yeah, but that might contribute to the business folding
If he eats there every day, going back in time to when it’s still open would mean past!him and future!him would be eating there at the same time. And we all know how than ends up…
With the Zeppelin on fire and us losing our hats? :P
I have to say I love how the Commander and Ganondorf hang out this often, just the best of friends.
I think that Ganon is a lawyer in this universe, so bonus points on it being a business meeting as well.
I just LOVE Ganondorf’s “Oh CRAP!” expression in panel 1. He’s not the kind of guy one would expect to see that expression on.
It’s like me with local sushi buffets. I swear I’ve killed off 3 of the 4 such places in my area.
I rather love that it’s Rock and Ganon that are lunch/brunch/hangout buddies.
Huh. Haven’t seen Commander spooked in a while.
I mean, there was the millipede comic last week.
This is why I buy my eggs wholesale.
Five dozen eggs. Three bucks. Gone in less than a week.
I just wish the US was like the UK, where vaccinating chickens against salmonella is mandatory and you can eat the eggs raw, shell and all.
Huh, I was actually curious about the general price for five dozen eggs. So thanks for that.
I know your weren’t necessarily advocating for eating eggs raw, but would there be a concern of your body not absorbing all the protein due to it not being cooked, or are eggs unlike meat in this regard?
As somebody whose done the egg protein shake, it’s never occurred to me to ask that question. Did some searching and it turns out you were right to ask that question. Isotope marked egg protein shows that only about half the protein of raw egg is absorbed.
eating egg shells just sounds unpleasant
So I recently started reading a manga called Yakumo-san wa edzuka ga shitai.
Your comment about not having leftovers made me think of it since the plot is 28 year old widow cooks dinner for high school athlete neighbor.
Yoink. Thanks for the rec!
I really enjoy that Commander and Ganondorf seem to be such good buddies, I love seeing them doing small things like this together. Plus, I’ve always loved your Ganondorf anyway.
Does this mean he hits IHOP a bunch when they have all you can eat pancakes?
Pancakes aren’t really a weightlifter food.
I mean unless you make them from buckwheat and add a scoop of wheat/oat protein isolate. But I don’t think IHOP offers that.
Just want to say I like how you mix in random other characters but keep around the core cast; keeps things fresh
That last line might just be my favorite thing you’ve ever written
I just had a rather random thought and then decided to post it because it’s almost 4:30 where I am right now and rational thought is at a low. It’s shown in various comics that the Commander hangs out with pretty much everyone at the facility he works for in some capacity. Though recent comics (spread out over the past year), have indicated that he seems to prefer spending time with Ganondorf (not that I can blame him, the way you portray Ganondorf is awesome). This long-winded lead in leads to my real question: Of the various people that you see the Commander interact with as part of his job (and any friendships/rivalries that spring up from said interacting), which ones are the ones he likes to hang out with the most? And on the flipside, who does he spend as little time around as he possibly can get away with?
Well, he hates Canada Guy so that would be my guess for spends the least amount of time with.
The most amount of time he spends is with:
4.) Various siblings/relatives.
In roughly that order of amount of time/strips we see them in.
I was thinking more beyond Jared and Jones. I mean, they ARE the other two main characters.
I have this headcanon that Ganondorf sounds a lot like Lt. Worf from Star Trek TNG. Don’t know if anyone else shares that opinion.
I think mine was sort of a combo of Worf and Jafar, leaning more towards Jafar.
I have to say: this comic has gradually made me adore Ganondorf more than I had ever believed possible. I truly wish I had the capacity to travel into this dimension specifically to hang out with him. This comic gives him such an earnest and approachable character, combined with a remarkably dapper sheik (pun intended), that makes him very memorable. I am always happy when I see him in the first panel of one of these.
Okay, so assuming that the Commander buys the same pastured chicken eggs that I do for $0.50 an egg (using the most expensive eggs my grocery store has to offer). If Commander can’t afford to buy all those eggs individually . . . . that’s a terrifying amount of an eggs.
As per Squid’s calculations up top, say he ate 5 dozen eggs a day (like Gaston) at brunch most days. That accounts for roughly half of his daily food. That’s $210 a week, or $900 a month. That is an awful lot of money for a father of two to be spending on something so expensive to eat.
In a bizarre coincidence, xkcd also did a joke about all-you-can-eat on Monday.
…is it just me or did one of the lines change? I thought it said that they were the human equivalent of SUVs, and now it doesn’t?
It was sloppy writing I had like ten minutes to get the text in if I didn’t want to be late and I didn’t like it so I changed it in the colour one.
Man, I would love to find a place like that!
Its actually quite impressive that Ganondorf has the physique to require that kind of caloric and protein intake, rather than just being big-boned and cheating with magic; you usually don’t see that kind of dedication to physical fitness in wizards, much less wizards dual-classed as thief and politician.
The Commander, I see as a traditional, “manly” meal kind of guy… who can also tell you which lettuce type is is favorite and why, and likes a nice raspberry vinaigrette on it. He’s always cooking different foods when his kids are over, not necessarily stuff that he likes, but because he wants them to be able to find the things they like. In a weird way, though, he enjoys it because he has the chance to learn if he likes this weird “boiled in a bag and then seared” steak stuff. (It’s alright, but it lacks the depth in flavor that the charcoal brings.)
Ganondorf is a slightly different beast, in my mind. He’s happier with poached eggs than fried, but hey, when in Rome, right? That’s how I see him when eating out with others that he respects, actually — he orders based off of what they order, and doesn’t complain unless it’s worth complaining about. It’s one thing if he isn’t a fan of blu cheese on his burger, but another if it’s so well done that it’s inedible. At home, I see him eating these fancy meals with complex balances of spices that makes it an adventure for those who come over. Oh, and when someone comes over to eat, he goes all out! It’s a way to show off the pride of his people. Have another glass of this super fancy wine, oh try this my sister gave me the recipe and it’s incredible, oh dear I cooked too much please take some of this food home with you. You don’t go to his house for a dinner, you go to his place for a banquet.
Which is how you end up sitting at home at 2AM, munching on this weird… Well, you don’t know what it is, and don’t really want to know, but it’s tasty and hitting the spot.
Ever since reading that beautiful Zelgan comic who’s artist did a guest comic here a while back, I too have that image of Ganondorf. He’s got a temper and way too much pride for his own good, but if neither of those things are roused I just see him as this incredibly gracious and courteous host who exemplifies the ideal of the Middle Eastern concepts of hospitality. I’d love to go to one of his dinner parties someday.
Exactly. A wonderful host who wants you to experience a good time. It’s not that he wants to show off or anything, but he just wants you to think about it next week and say “Yeah, I had a blast.” Sure, there’s a ton of pride in that, and he always sits a little straighter and grins a little more whenever he sees you enjoying yourself or you mention it afterwards, but that’s the reward for being a good host, right?
Oh, the Commander wants to bring Junebug? She’ll walk out with the most wonderful hair, having spent an hour sitting in his lap, listening to him talk as he worked. She wants to tell a story? He’ll listen to it all. Sacred hospitality and all that.
At least, if this was a tabletop game, that’s how I’d play him when the rest of the party showed up at his place for dinner.
Oh man. Now I really want to see a “Ganondorf babysits Sammy and Junebug” comic.
What really impresses me is that Gannon can eat all that in a reasonable amount of time, in a suit, without getting any of it on his suit.
“Speaking as the wife of a giant athletic man.”
You know there are photos of my wedding like a couple months back
Oh shit. Congratulations.
Couldn’t Commander just build himself a Chicken Coop and buy himself like a couple dozen chickens or so to get the amount of eggs he needs daily? Cheaper than probably buying all the eggs in the long run. Or go big and get Ostriches for their giant eggs which are about worth a couple dozen eggs on their own.
When does a space future soldier who also runs a burly dudes reform agency with two kids have time to take care of several dozen chickens, never mind where would he keep them? Unless he uses time travel, in which case he’s working 30 hour days which I doubt he’d want to keep up with. It’s the same reason the average programmer doesn’t keep a cow around for milk to make coffee creamer.
Speaking as a fat guy that does not normally life things, there are also no leftovers around me either.
Once a long time ago me and friends went to an all-you-can-eat place.. there you could choose barbecue or pasta
Brazilian all-you-can-eat BBQ is something all (non-vegan) tourists must see once in their lifetimes.
We were about 20 people, some were like black holes when it came about food.
When the waiter saw the troup, he asked: Do you want PASTA (with emphasis) or barbecue (his voice was trembling when “barbecue” came out)?
One of my best friends wondered if he would give the waiter a heart attack, saying that everyone wanted BBQ, but most was going for pasta
Looking at Commander’s plate, I feel like that’s what Ron Swanson’s order looked like after this exchange:
Are the Commander and Ganondorf best friends? They seem like best friends.
I would love an all you can eat brunch place. I’ve never seen such a thing. I think my town and nearby towns only have an all you can eat pizza place and Chinese place.
I love that he decided to share this secret with Ganon. Only Ganon. LOL
Oh Commander… If you really need that many eggs, just get a few chickens.
A coop with a dozen well fed and well taken care of chickens will easily produce 4-6 dozen eggs per day.
Either that, or switch what type of egg you’re eating. I here ostritch eggs are delicious and also good for you.
I understand how you feel, Commander. That happens a lot in my area too.
The real question is do these places exist in real life? I want all you can eat brunch because I hate my arteries. (Also, in a perfect world, they’all have a menu like Snooze Eatery).
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