I mean, not that it matters much to Ganon
May 8, 2017
2:46 am
They basically work like vintage Impalas, right?
Manly Guys Doing Manly Things
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They basically work like vintage Impalas, right?
20 Seconds is long enough to take care of the magic robot of clay pot.
“Magic robot of clay pot”… so, the clay pots are finally taking their revenge against Link for smashing them all, eh?
It was just a matter of time…
I see what you did there… Nice!
You actually don’t know how right you are. A While back I saw a post somewhere, can’t remember where about these clay pots, several millennia old that when turned upside down look like the guardians, without the tentacle legs. It was more than obvious these things were designed based on those pots. So yes, the guardians are actually massive ancient upside down pots that come alive to kill Link.
@Ominous, more than obvious, it was confirmed by the developers that all technology in Breath of the Wild was based on the Jomon period.
There is even a character in-game who tells you about the guardians and describes them as looking like overturned pots.
So, it’s a Zelda game where the pots are trying to kill Link. Vengeance!
I love how he was just so sure he could do it. That dad with a car kinda mentality before something makes the wrong noise.
Thing is, Rock would have absolutely no problem with a car. Sheika ancient technology on the other hand . . .
I read it in his voice.
Now just have one of their cellphones ring out with Guardian Battle as the ringtone (it would be Ganondorf’s because of how gloriously it would mess with Link).
I second this. Before I learned how to shield reflect, guardians terrified me.
QUICK! FIND SOME STAIRS!
heh someone saw the robocop reference.
“what weapon ?”
“Those guns.”
“What guns?”
“On your arms.”
Yeah, Ganon doesn’t have to worry. The only thing that can kill him is a holy weapon.
His suit! HE’LL RUIN HIS SUIT! And his hairdo, too!
Lucky for him the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch has already been used.
I see what you did there lol
I haven’t played the game. Are those supposed to work for Ganondorf or ae they just neutral and kill anything that comes nearby.
Wish I could edit that comment and fix that typo…
They work for Calamity Ganon, not Ganondorf and there’s apparently a difference. But Ganondorf is “evil” so the Guardian tech would probably not register him as an enemy.
Ganondorf is when he’s in Gerudo form, Ganon is when he’s in a more monstrous form.
From what I understand Calamity Ganon is basically his raw hatred made manifest by a curse, so not exactly Ganondorf himself. And Ganondorf is the reincarnations of Ganon, brought about in part by the curse Ganon placed upon the Gerudo after they betrayed him.
Well, Calamity Ganon is more or less normal Ganon, only revived SUPER weird and pissed off, because (Breath of the Wild Backstory Spoiler Warning) ten thousand and one hundred years before the game, people got tired of having one kid with a sword stab the evil to death, so they also built an army of giant robots, and four SUPER giant Animal Robots, and just annihilated the fuck out of him. Ten thousand years later, Ganon finally finished scraping himself off of every surface in hyrule and figured “Hey, if I come back as an amorphous evil, I can TOTALLY infect all these robots and kill the hell out of these assholes!”
So Calamity Ganon is like Ganon as a bodiless event, but still totally Ganon with all his Ganon thoughts… albeit a bit more chaotic due to not having a physical body to focus on as a consciousness.
Oh, ALSO, Ganondorf was also the first instance of Ganon, who is a recurrent, eternal evil due to the meddling of the god Demise, who wanted to stop his peoples’ eventual deaths, but only succeeded in making his own soul eternal, living on via one resurrecting form in his likeness, which was a dark skinned, pissed off dude with red hair. So, you know, natural candidate for Eternal Gerudo.
@Jerubius, not quite right. Ganondorf was always his Gerudo birth name, Ganon being the name he took after he transformed into a “demon king” with the Triforce.
There was only one single reincarnation of Ganondorf in the entire series (Four Swords Adventures), but that’s not because of some weird curse; Tingle reincarnates, as does Beedle, Malon, Impa, you name it.
All the other Ganons seem to be the same one as Ganondorf from Ocarina of Time. He is defeated and sealed often, but either reanimated (like in the Oracle series by Twinrova), or he breaks out of the seal (like in Twilight Princess and Wind Waker).
Calamity Ganon is essentially what’s left of Ganon, sealed in Hyrule Castle, trying to regenerate by itself, which appears to be hella difficult.
Btw thanks for answering my question.
The Guardians are essentially giant clay pots, right? Karma is REALLY giving Link a kicking.
Fifteen, now.
Fix your abacus first, Commander.
He knows cars, not computers hahaha
Commander ain’t no Robocop either.
Thank Tri-Goddesses, I tought no one was gonna get that reference.
He doesnt want it fixed. He carries it aeound to make a point.
i wanna see a comic where he actually runs into someone who fixes his abacus
I mean, anyone with basic carpentry skills, or who’s a little handy. It’s not like Abacussessesss are particularly complex devices.
“Abacuses” or “Abacai”.
(Please don’t trigger my inner grammar nazi. I don’t like shouty people.)
Abaca Kedavra is the commonly accepted plural.
He knows better than to try that joke when Canada Guy’s around.
I didn’t know those were made by Omni Consumer Products! Hopefully it doesn’t have the same software issues the ED-209 prototypes had.
I’m pretty sure what just happened is that exact same issue got triggered. They do have 20 seconds though.
This is the funniest strip you’ve ever written. This, this is pure, unadulterated, comic genius. Bravo.
You know… I love this comic but sometimes the references fly so far over my head I think they may be space ships of some sort….. for example… the clay pot thing… what game is that from?
The new Zelda that is plastered on every outlet of popular culture currently.
Which is still in the launch window so not many actually have one.
Being on two systems and having sold over a million copies combined does a few wonders… that, and getting a consistent stream of 10/10 reviews and people who are showing it to those who might not be able to play – it has permeated quite well.
Million isn’t a big number anymore. That’s less than half a percent of gamers in the US, let alone the world.
I’m sadly under influenced by pop culture. Thank you for the education :) … wait that’s a new clay pot?
Maybe I should poke my head back into the mainstream….
please do, even if havent had the chance to or wont play it its still a big deal online
(also please give it a chance if you can, it’s a great game)
Given how this comic and some Death Battles on YouTube are the only thing I’ve ever seen about the Zelda-verse (is that the right term?), my first thought when I saw those robots was: “Those look like there made of cake or brownies, with some icing on them.”
Can anyone else see them as pastries?
I’ll admit, that *was* my first thought.
My first car was a family hand-me-down 1963 Impala. By the time I got it, it leaked oil like a sieve but that 327 turbofire engine with a four barrel carburetor was just bad ass for a sixteen year old kid.
How long until it switches to the “loyal as a puppy” OS?
Depends on how long it takes Jared to get there.
This page made me laugh out loud!
It’s OK they can’t do stairs.
They said the same of Daleks…
To be fair, Daleks were able to be defeated by stairs before they started manipulating their personal gravity to fly or whatever.
Though to be honest I’m pretty sure that given how the arms/legs of this clay ‘bot look, they could easily climb over stairs anyways.
Thanks to this wonderful webcomic and my thing for men in suits, I am now attracted to a giant boar-man-thing who regularly tries to take over the world. I hope you’re happy.
I believe Coelasquid already linked this story from a friend in an earlier page, but I felt perhaps I might offer a shovel to dig the hole a little deeper.
http://figmentforms.tumblr.com/post/118008187027/part-1-of-a-tale-of-two-rulers-new-comic
they need to slice its legs off then stab it in the eye repeatedly
Hence Ganondorf’s “break them”. :)
(And they get so much easier with Daruk’s Protection. Even if you screw up a parry, you’re not gonna get dead right away.)
Shield deflecting is a lot more efficient so long as you have the timing down and don’t destroy your shield stashes.
I guess Commander actually did restore the Guardian back into its default mode (as Hyrule Kingdom intended it to be) so its simply functioning as it was made to be; defending Hyrule from anything Ganon-related.
Please let the next comic be Link just walking right up and hijacking the thing with a key he just made himself. ‘Cause you can do that.
Wait… Really? I thought that was just an April Fool’s gag!
You don’t need the key. All you have to do is stand on it’s head and it will try to back away from you, but also carry you with it. You can even make it shoot using a korok leaf
I’m chuckling at the thought of Commander and Ganondorf’s complete lack of concern when a killer robot comes scuttling up to them.
$10 says they sell it to that Guardian-obsessed girl on the beach.
I almost shrieked when I saw the RoboCop reference.
How much does the commander know about magic? Cuz I’m pretty sure those things don’t run on all american beef….although considering his job maybe he has a decent knowledge of at least how to tinker with magic shit?
Everything runs on American Beef. You just need enough of it.
Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from technology. I’m sure he’ll be fine.
Idk this seems like a robocop ref to me lol.
i just really want all the guardians in this game to speak like ED-209 now. in fact, i’m gonna be pretty disappointed when they just beep at me now…
I love your Ganondorf segments so much
…I can totally see Commander and Ganon tracking down, reprogramming, and taking one of the Divine Beasts out on a joyride. Probably Vah Rudania with Daruk cheering alongside them. Along with asking Ganon his name, cuz funny.
i love all the moents where he hangs out with ganon. really gives me the warm fuzzies.
IO had fun hacking the legs off of the Guardian stalkers, then climbing up onto the newly-Decayed Guardian and harshly disciplining it when it tries to fire at me.
Then again, I had fun beating a Yiga Footsoldier to death with a spring-loaded hammer
I had fun defeating the Eventide Island Blue Hinox with nothing but bombs, so…
The sheer “K” permeating through this comic is the funniest thing in the world to me right now
I can’t believe the guardians are all just ED209s