Let me tell you a tale of my people
August 13, 2010
12:00 am
When this comic goes up, I’ll be at a midnight showing of the Expendables with my buddies. If you are unfortunate enough to not be at the theatre, you can read this comic instead as a consolation.
On this occasion I will admit to the Commander being my mouthpiece character, because this is how I’ve been telling people they probably produced this movie for yeeeeaaaars.
Woo! Looks like an awesome movie, but I won’t go on opening weekend, too many idiots that would ruin it. Middle of next week or the week after, unless I suddenly decide to go visit my dad and take him to it. I think every actor you mentioned is one of his favorites!
Sounds about right to me.
Anyone remember F-Zero GX on the ‘Cube, and third chapter of the story an old man asks you to race in a gambling tournament? That’s the voice I heard.
And thanks to someone associating John DiMaggio with The Commander I keep on hearing Bender’s voice. His accent is Bender, slightly sober with a slur.
See, I always heard the voice of Brock Samspon from The Venture Bros whenever the commander talked.
I’ve seen the commander rip out a man’s eyes and make him dance with by the optic nerves. But at least he hasn’t broken anyone’s heart….
I kind of want to see that movie, and since the Commander’s space children made it with space money, I think I can
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.
Hey, I was gonna say that!
Of course…this explains all…now if the Expendables teamed up with the A-Team…
And here I was not expecting a new comic till monday, lucky I came around here then.
And as for a spoiler alert for the movie…
Something happens. /spoilers
I honestly thought I was the only person on earth who was chompin’ at the bit to see this movie. Now I know for certain that you, the commander, and at least one future dood are all cut from the same cloth as I.
And my dumb arse just realized that the old man is the commander, and the space people are his kids D:
Unless all people over the age of 30 where red tinted goggles in the future.
either way. That makes one less person cut from the same cloth as I :C
Same here, it was the nose that tipped it off for me though
I wanted to see it… love me some Statham. I am 99% sure this is how the movie was conceived.
what the-
a MGDMT comic, before monday ?
*head axplodes*
Adding the word space in front of anything makes it sound futuristic. It’s a space fact.
Although one would have to wonder whether future space cash has a decent conversion rate.
Any woman who sees this movie will instantly be impregnated…
That’s a lot of space kids.
It looks like a lot of money, but due to space inflation the whole movie had to be filmed on a cell phone.
Except they went back in time, so space future inflation hadn’t happened yet, and those fat stacks of cash were still made of awesome and win.
Sadly, though, the stacks of Space cash are not recognized earth currency…
sooo uhh, is the dying old man… the commander in the future, telling his space children to space time travel into the space past to make the awesome movie featuring all of those awesome people? if so then i completely space get it.
you spacefuture got it.
Wait, I thought that old man was the Commander’s spacefuture father, not his spacefuture self! I am spacefuture confused!
Nope, that’s spacefuture Commander on his deathbed.
Spacefuture wicked awesome.
I think you mean “spacefuture deathbed.” A regular deathbed would be horribly inaccurate.
Or it could be a spacefuture antique bought with his fat wads of spacefuture currency that he has. Spacefuture.
I think you over-spacefuture-thinking this. If he’s from spacefuture, it automatically spacefuture becomes a spacefuture deathbed, no spacefuture questions asked.
Watched that movie tonight. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen…though the projectionist was a fucktard and ruined the first two action scenes >:(
…But the last half of the movie was more than worth it. Oh man.
Aside from being drunk, nothing has changed. I still want to sex him.
as long as they don’t have a miscarriage, i am fine with a semi-romantic plot.
I SEE WUT U DID THAR.
WOOOOAH. You went there…
I don’t get it D:
It’s based on a certain… controversial move that a certain webcomic took a couple of years back if I recall correctly. I have been a big fan and will remain a big fan of said webcomic though those were trying times.
Have to admit though, the Sillies look less than good at the moment.
I want to sex you, Commander!
This only makes me want to see the movie more, now that I know that the Commander approves of it.
Being a movie enthusiast, I feel pretty silly for not noticing this movie before reading the comic.
What movie was it?
I believe wholeheartedly that this is, in fact, how and why this film was made. Excellent work.
Amazing!
just reread all comics and some comments just for fun and around 4th or so comic from last one name jumped in my head – korgoth of barbaria. and that greatness will never happen :(
What, is everyone updating their comics this Friday the Thirteenth?! This is seriously throwing off my funny-schedule.
I told everybody on Twitter that I was going to make an Expendables tribute comic :P
I don’t use twitter. I’ve yet to be sucked in.
I do not believe in twitter and facebook because everyone has one.
I am lame that way.
Hi-five for being Lame!
We’re still stuck in the 90’s with cassetts and these little things we called pagers.
Oh, and mullets.
D: Flee the mullets! Flee!
Walkmans and big fat cellphones that barely fit into your pockets! Cheers!
But nobody would ever steal those phones… It’s like carrying a baton that you could legally own. I suddenly feel old for being stuck in the 90’s without all those gadgets on our phones…
I actually really like the more “raw” looking comics. I wouldn’t mind seeing them more often.
This one was way fancier than the others, I did it on a big $2000 work cintiq instead of at home on my little Intuos tablet.
Commander shares my opinion exactly. Even if the movie itself blows, it has all of that wonderful testosterone in it so it’s totally worthwhile.
That movie was the manliest piece of bloody flying explosions full of bodies going everywhere I’ve ever seen.
If explosions could breed with testosterone.
I thought they did. We get battleships from that mating.
Every time I’ve seen a commercial for this movie, it’s reminded me of this comic.
Oh our governor is in this movie?
Everybody is in this movie.
What about Eastwood? And Rock Johnson? And Samuel LMF Jackson?
I can only surmise, though, that the exclusion of them and any others I may be forgetting was because to add any more testosterone to the film would make it far too dangerous for anyone to actually watch.
The reason they didn’t add those guys is because the human brain would explode at the very glimpse of something that awesome.
That and the whole damn set would smell of testosterone.
Oh man… the movie… is… full of… awesome. And my god. I never liked Stallone before. Except in Demolition Man. His other characters just did nothing for me. XD
Buthotdamn… Li and Statham will always be f-king awesome.
And so will this page. 8)
I agree with your opinion~ either way this is going to be kick ass aside from couture i knew all those fella and trusts they’ll do a good job, not award winning maybe but maybe cult classic status~
I…. I just saw it….
It’s…
it just…
THE BEST MOVIE I’VE SEEN IN MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE
I KNOW RIGHT?
Commander and Jonesey are having a date!? <3
Minor Question: Is it possible for the commander to walk down a hall and NOT hold a stogie and a coffee?
He could, but why?
The coffee, maybe, the stogie? NO!
The movie was amazing. That is all.
Fantastic movie! <3
It was opening weekend here and everybody (exept me and my gasping'n'drooling), were atill and silent during the whole movie. Amazing! I had my bazooka just in case.
Thank you for the strip, it really hit its place.
I’m excited for it, even though movies like these premiere over where I live about a month after your premiere.
We got the Casino Royale post-gala premiere FIRST(!) back in 2006 though, so that oughta compensate.
Wasn’t aware this was actually out till I read your comic yesterday by complete chance. At which point I then organized for my entire house to venture out to watch this epic display of awesome. At no point was I disappointed with said movie. In such I feel that the “fat stacks of space future cash” were indeed well spent.
The only thing which also occurs to me is that the commander has got a serious case of male pattern baldness not to mention he ends up being one of those very skinny old men. Guess that’s what happens when you retire to a full time job instead of fighting in those space future wars along with our own brown, grey and white gritty past ones. xP
That’s just what he expects to look like when he’s a few hundred years old. Time wears down the best of us.
And he never took off his sunglasses for all these years. It’s stuck to his head isn’t it?
This would explain so much.
moral of the story: adding “space” to the beginning of any word makes it sound futuristic. Now take this space cash, my space children from the space future!
Spacefuture, not just space. It’s how I refer to the distant future, to keep it distinct from the present future. Which started in the year 2010, a decidedly futuristic number.
The movie was great. Never before has so much manliness been in one movie. And it may never happen again.
Truly, it was a once in a lifetime experience.
ok, i guess i’ve been spacefuture living in a spacefuture hole cut off from all spacefuture media, because i spacefuture have no idea what spacefuture movie is being spacefuture referenced to spacefuture here. Spacefuture help D: i spacefuture want to spacefuture watch it just from the list of spacefuture stars.
Expendableeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss.
Spacefutureeeeeeeeeeeeeee
why couldnt they go spacefuture back in time and save ancientpast bruce lee? Manliest of all martial arts men.
His head would explode from culture shock upon reaching 2010.
This movie was thoroughly disappointing.. dammit Coelasquid.. you got my hopes up with the awesome comic :D
The scene with Arny, Stallone and Willis was just AWKWARD.. and not in the funny deliberate way.. Any thats just my opinion..
See ya monday :D
oh wow i just actually read all the comments… you all LIKED this movie?? well ignore these two comments then, i think i can feel the flaming already
We all have our own opinions on movies, I thought it was good, you thought it was bad no hostility as long as everyone agrees on hating Twilight we’re golden here.
I felt like it was a big awesome in-joke, and you’d only get a kick out of it if you were in on the joke. Like, the Schwarzenegger/Willis/Stallone scene might seem awkward if you’re just taking it at face value, but if you know the guys and their histories it’s pretty fucking funny. The whole movie was like they were having a sleepover and got all SOMEBODY GET A CAMERA, I’VE GOT AN IDEA!
OF COURSE IT WAS DISSAPOINTING!!
… The Commander wasn’t in it. How can you possiobly call it the manliest movie on earth if the commander wasn’t in it?
I believe he made a cameo as The Little Taco Boy. somewhere.
I saw it Saturday, and I still haven’t been able to process how epically and insanely awesome it was. I think it’s a safe bet that this will at least be nominated for Film Of The Millenium.
Also, my friend and I guesstimated that there were between 100,000 and 1,000,000 bullets shot during this movie. Still working on guesstimating how much C4 was detonated.
Saw it Saturday night. Capital A-mazing. Especially the part with the giant bullet/bomb. That was just pure joy.
I loved Terry Crews’s “special weapon”.
… I wasn’t interested in that movie before, but suddenly I feel compelled to go see it…
IT WAS GLORIOUS! (needs less shaky camera, can’t follow Jet Li).
Also: Cordy! What are you doing here?
Have not seen The Expendables yet, but from what I’ve seen, it’s going to be the manliest movie movie I’ll ever see. Testosterone to the MAX and chock full of some of the manliest actors in the business.
What?? That’s out already?! WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING WITH MY TIME?!
I saw Scott pilgrim instead. The expendables can SUCK IT.
Have to say, I enjoyed Expendables more than Scott Pilgrim.
I didn’t.
That’s because you’re a communist traitor.
Uhm, this is way old talk but going to add a bit of thought here. I’ve not seen Expendables, but intend to do so now as soon as I can find this.
As for Scott Pilgrim, my kid brothers ran across it and liked it. I decided to give it a try but didn’t really care for it. It wasn’t bad or anything, at least it didn’t make me think it was bad in any particular way, but didn’t really find it ‘good’ either. Just kinda ‘meh’ on the whole thing.
But gotta get and see the Expendables then!
I liked ’em both.
This is a late comment but now i respect the commander so much MORE for making this movie happen.
DAT Movie made me cry i single tear. Also made my friend jump like every five minutes.
So amazing. Plus i can’t wait for expendables 2. It has been confirmed. ;3;
Too bad Stallone being a dick ruined it for me.
Having just watched this movie after having read this comic 100 minutes ago or so, I must whole-heartedly approve.
blehhhh not funny at all :-(((((
XDDD Believe it or not, there is now a movie with ALL of these guys (except two) so it’s a dream come true for you, Commander! XDD
And then they made the Expendables 2 … and it has Chuck Norris in it.
… And I didn’t watch it.
Actually, I waited until the first one came out on DVD before watching it… and frankly it all struck me as a bit pointless. They could have done so much more with it… but in the end it was just a whole film of “Jason Statham and occasionally someone else”. The scene with Arny and Willis was the best bit. That one scene. Without action.
Somehow…I’m getting a mental image of that meme with Frye from Futurama saying “Shut up & take my money!”…