Mr. Fish’s determination to get that cupcake inspired by years of watching my bird try so hard to steal peanuts from people.
I’d really like to know where a teenager can get an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device of his own and how many weeks worth of salary did Jared spend on one.
Seems like the kind of thing that counts as office supplies in a place like this.
But isn’t a portal gun kind of “Girly”?
I’m not really sure how…
It shoots gaping holes that one must enter to go places
Well if you’re gonna look at it like that, isn’t it more of a guy thing to want to go through those holes?
Wheres the Upvote button…
That was beautiful.
Quite frankly, I was just referring to the fact that only a Girl and her mechanical friends use them, but this was much better.
and what better man to do the thrusting than Ryoma Nagare
Into, not through.
If I go through, something has gone badly, badly wrong, and she needs to go to hospital immediately.
Well the only person we’ve seen use it is Chel, who’s a girl, right? What would she be doing at the manly man center?
….unless I guess she had a date with one of the dudes there or something.
The factory was ran by males and Glados was an assistant, when she ran amock she held a “bring your daughter to work day” and held them all hostage and you play as the remaining one. The rest were killed and all the fathers were killed by the gas she released also.
Still, I doubt any of the scientists there were manly.
Two words: Rat man.
You obviously don’t know the founder, Cave Johnson. He’s the man that’s gonna burn down your house. With Lemons! He’ll get his engineers to make a comustible lemon and use it to BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE!
I just got to that part. I laughed when GLADYoS started going along with it.
Did you think you should maybe warn about SPOILERS? Some of us haven’t gotten our hands on Portal 2 yet you know.
Don’t worry, it’s not a super spoilery thing that has a big reveal and plot significance. I beat the entire game without noticing the little piece of background art where they imply that might be the case, so I didn’t really know what he was talking about until I looked it up. So… It’s a spoiler I guess, but it shouldn’t ruin the game for you, it’s not an important revelation in the plot.
Spoilers? If you’re playing Portal for the plot, you’re playing Portal wrong.
Do you honestly believe anyone would want to make blue and orange portals on everything without said plot?
Heck, do you believe anyone would even remember the game, or a sequel have been made without GLaDOS’s shenanigans?
I would play any game that included GLaDOS shenanigans.
*Four years late without Starbucks* If you’re not playing Portal for the plot, then I’m not sure why you would play Portal.
does that upset you? How about this. Praying Mantis people.
I ship Chell x Gordon Freeman
I shipped Your Mother x Scotch Carb. Last night. Twice.
OH SNAP. NO HE DI-INT!
*Holds out the Oh Snap Jar*
Fool. Chell’s apertures are for GLaDOS only.
Highfive, good sir/madam.
You ship Chellman?
I’m pretty sure The Commander would respect towards Cave Johnson’s method of science. This is a man who believes that when life gives you lemons, you make combustible lemons to burn life’s house down.
I was partial to “We’re just throwing science at the walls to see what sticks”. The best scientist is a scientist who admits they don’t know the answers.
Amen to that. The worst part is that most Creationists hold that as a sign of weakness, when essentially, they are guilty of even worse concepts.
+1 to that, Sista’
If creationists could reason, there would be no creationists.
I recognize that you likely do not intend to make an actual argument by saying so, and that you are likely saying that for more of a rhetorical and humorous purpose, but I’m going to respond as if you mean that entirely literally.
My reasons for responding in this way might not be entirely rational, nor entirely according to, eheh, /reason/, but they are still why I am responding in this way.
If someone fails to use reason correctly/ to correctly reason about something / with regards to something, that does not imply that they cannot reason or are incapable of reason.
You no doubt already understand this, but for some ‘reason’ I feel compelled to make this point.
I take as a common meaning the ability to reason to mean the ability to come to logical conclusions from logically valid arguments. I don’t know if reasoning even requires sapience/sentience/similarthings. If an entity can follow the rules of logic on some input, and output a statement that is implied by the inputs and logic, then I’m not sure that that alone would not be sufficient to justify the claim that the entity is ‘capable of reason’.
And this could be accomplished in many cases with relatively simple memorized hand rules, or by a computer program.
Even if you require the entity to be capable of something like ‘insight’ (which seems hard to define, so I wont), there are plenty of examples which you are no doubt aware of where a person who held or holds some irrational belief came to a discovery though reason. Even if someone believes that the current president of the united states is simultaneously Elvis Presley and the moon, it is still not automatically impossible for them to be able to e.g. show that addition is commutative.
You know this, and were no doubt just making a rhetorical point, not a logical one.
I knew this, but it still irked me.
I can’t think of an aesthetically pleasing way to end this post.
But I am fairly sure that there have been creationist logicians and mathematicians.
Whey the hell are people trying to start pedantry debates on a three year old comic
Cave Johnson had the portal technology before the creation of Glados
He got Astronautics, War Heros, and Olympiads to think with portals before girls.
So no astronautics, war heroes, or Olympiads could be female?
Assuming 1960’s Apertureverse parallels 1960’s earth, it’s quite likely the specific Astronauts and war heroes they were started portal testing on weren’t…
BUT THAT’S SEXIST, EVEN THOUGH IT ACCURATELY REPRESENTS ACTUAL HISTORICAL FACT
HISTORY: SUPER SEXIST
All part of nature’s big joke… since everyone starts off female.
He probably spent no more than his 500$ worth of gummybears.
Was it not Apature’s goal to eventually sell these? Maybe for military use, but I thought they were testing the portal item, hence the first Portal and Glados testing the player.
Besides, if you don’t cut your lawn pokemon randomly appear and sit there. I think there’s no questioning this universe.
No, the portal gun was a SHOWER CURTAIN…but cave johnson wasn’t sure how…he apparently thought more into the “Take a Wish Foundation”…and GLaDOS was an ice defroster originally…
This was a triumph.
I’m making a note here: Huge success.
Had I realized you guys posted this in a timeframe before I did and were awaiting approval, I would have NOT made the same joke.
I apologize. Anyway, this cupcake is great!
It’s so delicious and moist.
(I wanna go to space!)
The cake is not a lie woot
Look at me still talking when there’s science to do.
When I look up there it makes me glad I’m not you.
So i’m glad i got burned, think of all the things we learned!
For the people who are still alive!
I lol’d so hard just now.
WHY WOULDNT WE MOVE ON TO “THATS WHAT I’M COUNTING ON” ?
You know, this is the portal 2 era~
OHSOMUCHSPACE GOTTA SEEIT ALL!
I’m in space.
Yes you are, mate
dad im in space
i’m proud of you, son
Excellent comic! I love how you visualized the vocal inflection of Commander’s expletive. You really have a way with expressing emotion in text.
No, no. Not quite.
People that haven’t commented before have to go through moderation before their post is visible, declaring first is a dangerous thing to try in these parts. That’s actually somewhat akin to using the E word. …at least in my mind.
He wants it so bad, both eyes are looking in the same direction! :O
Haha lol :D
I think what worries me is if the eyes look UP.
I don’t think a simple office window is going to stop Mr Fish, portals or no portals…
So what happens if the portal closes?
But… official Aperature Science approved Portal portals do not close. They merely open somewhere else. Which is where Mr. Fish’s tongue would now exist if the portal was re-portaled.
But, if they would happen to be re-portaled on the end that Mr. Fish would have been on, it’ll just reject him. We’ve seen it with Companion Cubes, if you position them properly.
Mr. Fish looks very angry in that second last panel.
I have to say, I love all the little details.
Angry or determined, you decide?
o btw to mr fish:
THE CUPCAKE IS A LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was going to say, I think the Commander thinks it looks like Mr. Fish is … uh … doing something sexual to the office building, so he wants it over!
Yes. That is all.
the cupcake is a LIE, mr. fish!
The cake is a lie
The cake is a lie
The cake is a lie
The cake is a lie
The cake is a l…
Old meme is old :p
But still awesome!!
Seeing as portal 2 is out/nearly out (IDK) it’s not old any more.
“the cake is a lie” is indeed old, as it was Portal 1’s meme.
Portal 2’s meme is “SPAAAAAAAAAAACE!” if discussion is any indication.
Still old, but it regained some relevancy.
Mr. Fish’s eyes are almost like an angry Sten’s.
I lol’d so hard I choked on my Mountain Dew.
I lol’d so hard I choked on my window…
Mr Fish is actually a prototype 5th Generation Qunari, still in the development stage, though. It showed “Positive Market Reaction”, however.
Mr. Fish can only know how to do four “tricks,” but he can still think with portals.
Mr. Fish! Use Cupcake Beam!
~Mr. Fish uses Cupcake Beam.
~The enemy and trainer now have diabetes.
In Pokemon Turquoise, this must be a move.
He’s the fish that’s gonna burn your office down. With cupcakes. He’s going to get his Pokepals to invent a combustible cupcake that burns your office down.
You win the internets.
You can’t be sure how big Mr. Fish is until you’ve seen its tongue. Scary.
Aw, Mister Fish is adorable. And it seems the Portal gun might have fallen into the wrong hands! D:
So glad this wasn’t a bright pink tentamonster like I thought it was from just skimming the top two panels.
My thoughts exactly.
Yea, I can see how that might go bad, unless the building has indestructible windows or the like.
That was so funny i laughed so hard i made my 4 year old son jump and he cried cause he was scared XD
Portals = win XD
Pffffft, lobster mug 8D
Question, who let Jared have the portal gun anyway…
Probably just found it in the supply closet.
We were at the office
Jared was playing with his portal gun
The Commander went passing by
And then we saw a mug
It wasn’t a mug
It was a MUG LOBSTER!
My favorite part is how the Commander smacks himself in the head with his file. When your hands are full and you simply must facepalm, desperate measures must be taken.
“My hands are full, and I must facepalm” Didn’t Harlan Ellison write that?
I think so. It was rejected by publishers as being too horrific, so he changed it to “I have no mouth, and I must scream.”
He’s determined enough that, for the first time, both his eyes look in the same direction.
Powerwashers and Portal Guns?
I want to work there
Jared always manages to look ridiculous, even when there isn’t anything ridiculous.
And I’ve always thought a Gyrados tongue as a really dark red. Don’t know why.
It’s the blood of the innocent bloodthirsty, savage Pikachus.
…Stupid text coding! How did all that get struck?
considering that moment of ah….lunacy at the end of the game, can we trust him with a portal gun?
Good point. Mr. Fish would devour Clefairies and Clefables to extinction.
I’m not quiiiet at the end of the game yet, I had to stop playing so I could draw the comic :P
I lol’d. You, my friend, are a master at not-spoiling. A+
What kind of bird did you have, my Senegal is sitting on my shoulder trying to get my earing right now.
A 13-year-old pied peachfaced Lovebird named Axi.
My two geriatric maroon-bellied conures and two newly acquired lovebirds fully understand Axi’s plight. “Peanuts! Always out of reach! /shakes feathers”
O crap whats going to happen when the sun gos down
Jared lost the privilage to use the pressure washer. Methinks his handheld portal device privilages may soon be revoked as well.
This was a triumph! I’m making a note here, huge success!!!
Old meme is old.
Get up to date with the Portal jokes.
Unfortunately, I cannot afford another Portal. I just finally bought the mortality core that stopped the AI from flooding the enrichment center with all those neurotoxins.
It was expensive, maaaaannnn.
Nothing wrong with a classic.
“I only play the LATEST memes!” HIPSTERRRRRRR
Man, who keeps giving Jared access to all the cool stuff? First the Pikmin and the steroids, and now the portal gun too? They’d better not let him get his hands on the gravity gun, he’ll probably start trying to teach Mr. Fish to “Fly”
Now there’s some scale reference! Mr. Fish’s tongue kind of feels like its own character now.
That … is a disturbing thought that goes places where Mankind was not meant to go.
Unless they wore Japanese schoolgirl outfits.
How did he get his hands on a portal gun? And are Ezio or Altair manly enough to make it into this comic?
Maybe, I just haven’t played the games. I guess if the Prince of Persia showed up, they can’t be far off.
You should put in Desmond too, seeing as he’s invincible.
I like Commander’s inflection in panel two.
Somedays I think it’s really in the Commander’s best interests to punch Jared in the dick.
Wow, that’s really… disproportionate.
“Not only will it undo any chance you might have of ever breeding, it will be retroactive upon your entire line.”
Ok… We saw what he did when he got the responsibility of the Pressure Washer. Do you really want to have him control a device that is worth more than everyone and everything in your, >subject name heresubject hometown here<, combined?
Yeah, Jared, stop teasing Mr. Fish :U Don’t make me call Poke-PETA Team Plasma on you!
My side hurts from laughter. Excellent job!
the NSFW applications of this strip are nigh limitless. Keep up the awesome work oh squidy one!
Without the portal on the wall we could just assume the agency is slipping into alternate Silent Hill.
Incidentally, that is exactly what I thought in the split second between panel 2 and panel 3.
When I saw the Portal Gun, I automatically pictured Mr. Fish taking on Glados.
I’ve always been wondering how you were going to approach Portal, possibly the must unmanly game made yet. Okay, it actually never occurred to me to think of Portal and Manly Guys in the same day, that’s how disparate the topics are. Well done to bring them together!
Also I’m not sure how right the Commander is. Training animals isn’t teasing, unless you know they’re not going to be able to learn the trick required to get their treat. I’d never have thought most animals would be able to master the complex translateral thinking required to work with Portals, let alone the famously brain damaged Mr. Fish, but he seems pretty close to figure it out from what we can see. Maybe he’s more clever than he seems. I fear for the world now.
I think it’s more that he’s pretty obviously never going to fit through that portal…
I figured the trick involved having his eyes and his tongue on the opposite sides of the window and aiming correctly for the treat with his left and right reversed. Just going through the portal hardly requires thinking with portals, I thought. :x
Well, Cave is pretty manly. Just try giving him lemonade.
Well, I’m not sure how helpful it will/would be if Mr. Fish failed to be trained to go through portals, and instead just sticks his mouth over one portal and feels around with this tongue on the other side.
Might cause problems. Also, I’m with the Commander and whoever mentioned it before, it looks, kinda wrong..
The Commander’s frustration is just so wonderful. And it never ends, poor fella…
There is so much win in this strip that I can’t help but go into epileptic shock.
So who’s the Portal employee that ended up at the agency? Cave? Wheatley? GLaDOS? Chell?
GLaDOS seems to be the only one with the bulk required, but Cave seems to be the one that has the required personality. Oh, wait, I guess it could be Atlas.
Might be one of the technicians or subjects that escaped before the neurotoxin. Hell Portal Guns have ~~
Comment redacted for spoilers.
if you want to do spoilers, you can use html brackets with < font color="white" > and < /font > (without spaces) it makes the text the same colour as the BG, so people have to highlight it to read it.
I have to say, I’m forever enjoying all the coffee cups.
And, as many have said before, give it to Mr. Fish before he realizes the cupcake is a lie and does serious damage.
A++ would lol again
Is there no son of Brando for the Chief to exclaim to? Or is it more of a philosophy like the Tao where that would be inappropriate.
It’s more a philosophy, but Brando’s family life is certainly one of the areas where he dropped the ball. His daughter had substance abuse issues and I think bipolar disorder, his son murdered her boyfriend while she was pregnant when she told him that he had been beating her, she committed suicide a few years after having the kid. His other son just changed his last name and works as a producer in New York, and the grandson, Tuki Brando, is a model and the new face for Versace.
Bipolar disorder is hard to deal with no matter who you are. And the same goes for the family having to deal with it. You can’t really blame him for something that is thought to be genetic.
Yeah, a lot of people are quick to blame Brando for what happened to his kids, but legitimate chemical imbalances aren’t really his doing. When I say he dropped the ball I mean more that he was a bit of an absent father and had a long line of girlfriends to the point where his kids complained about never knowing who was sitting at the breakfast table that week. He had some rough breakups that got as bad as to end in one of his kids being kidnapped and dragged down to Mexico. I mean, celebrities are known for not having a lot of time to spend with their kids but when it culminates to something like that…
It is called the Bran-dao. Which do you think it is closer to?
”Stop teasin’ that poor animal an’ just give ‘im his treat.” I think I’ve heard that on more date than one.
The best way to start a sick day is with Mr.Fish groping a hallway with his tongue in search of a cupcake that we all know he is never going to get.
there are 2 awesome things in this comic that need to be pointed out.
1) Lobster mug
2) Mr. Fish looks like an actual gyarados (i.e. mouth is open and looks pissed)
There are so many implications in this strip :>
I was thinking the same thing. This comic strip is so naughty.
Like I mentioned earlier, I think Commander saw how Mr. Fish looked outside the building and imagined what it must look like to the random passerby.
And so he was like “DO NOT WANT” and told Jared to give the damn fish the cupcake.
That is great. Especially having just watched people play coop on Portal 2.
Just wait until he sticks his head in there Jared. Then we’re all doomed.
What would happen if he closed the portal?
Portals don’t close, they relocate, and if for whatever reason you do something really stupid, the portal simply ejects you, as Aperture Science assures us all that portals are perfectly safe.
So stupid… like putting one side of a portal next to your fiddly bits and the other side next to your mouth?
Don’t know if I’d risk that, because, as I said, Aperture Science said portals are safe, and by Aperture Science, I really mean GlaDos, and she lies about cake. So really? I think twice before messing with those things.
Am I the only one who thinks that that is Mr Crabs on the commanders mug?
We were at the beach. Everyone had matching towels! Then we went under the dock, and there we saw a rock! But it wasn’t a rock. It was a –
(Jams out on his acoustic guitar)
Motion in the ocean
His air hose broke
Lots of trouble
Lots of bubble
He was in a jam
He’s in a giant clam!
What I wanna know is, who supplies this agency with coffee cups? Im pretty sure they go through tons!
I think that coffee cup is from his kids. You know cause itsa baby Mr.Fish cup. I’m guessing Jared got a lecture after that thoughtful gift though.
I hope I’m correct in assuming that the, “JESus chrIST” lettering is meant to be read with the emphasis of Graham Chapman’s King Arthur in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Because if so, it was executed perfectly, and made me laugh.
“He wants that more than any fish has ever wanted a cupcake”
At first I thought it meant “probably not that much” because I was thinking fish probably don’t even want cupcakes. Then I realized nothing in this plane of existence, and possible some of the next, could NOT want a chocolate cupcake. Now I realized the amount of want he must be feeling and that they are just lucky Mr. Fish isn’t primal enough, or he would have wrecked that building.
Ever seen a Gyarados in an outrage?
It’s pretty… confusing.
I see wut u did thar…
The cupcake is a l- *smashed over the head with a brick*
If Mr. Fish figured out portals, the office food supply and every pikachu in the tri-state aria would be doomed to fall pray to the teleporting mouth of Mr. Fish… that is a scary image.
This is scary. I watched my brother play the single mode of Portal 2 and then we played the coop mode with split screen and then I come here and start my computer and there’s an upload referencing Portal.
[I’m in space. Spaaaaaaace.]
It DID just come out last week…
Ah the inevitable Portal 2 Comic, I love all the video game references the comic makes while still being able to stand as its own story.
YAY!!!, the cupcake isn’t a lie!!!
Poor Mr.Fish!! ;A; Give him the damn cupcake!
OH NO! JARED NO! DON’T FUCK WITH A GYARADOS!
You’ll doom us all! DOOOOOM!
DESTROYUSALL!!! DESTROYUSALLL!!! DESTROYUSALL!!1
I’ll take the chicken.
I just gotta say that i love your comics. I love how you always seem to make mondays so much better for me, that and jared reminds me so much of my friends, which im not too sure is a good thing. Also how low cut the commanders jacket is. :3
Angry Mr. Fish is so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!!!!!!
I think Jared hangs with Isaac Clarke, Gordon Freeman, and Chell during his off-hours. Since they weren’t manly enough for the company it seems only fitting that Jared would be their companion, just hope the Commander doesn’t find out…
I can totally see the Commander’s mug being a gift from his kids. They saw a lobster and since it was a baby Mr. Fish they thought he’d like it on his coffee mug. I like to think that’s what happened.
I just realized that this is one of the few instances in which Mr. Fish is actually making the Angry Gaping Mouth face that a Gyrados typically makes.
I just recently had someone send me your comic because I made some comment about the Arishok needing glasses. He sent me a link and I ended up reading all the archives. I love it. It’s one of the most fun that I’ve read in a long, long time. The expressions are absolutely priceless, and the humor is too much fun. Well drawn, makes me laugh – can’t lose!
I wonder how many people can get that sort of reaction from the Commander?
The guy faces down some crazy stuff on a day to day basis with a more or less deadpan expression. That’s gotta be some sort of sort of accomplishment on Jared’s part.
That was the most determined look I have ever seen in Mr Fish.
Wait… If jared can use a portal gun in the building, doesn’t that mean the facility’s walls/ paint have moon dust in it?
Love the comic by the way :) YOU CAN GET THE CUPCAKE MR.FISH!
Moon dust isn’t the only portal conductor, but it’s a very good one.
Poor Mr. Fish. He only wanted that cupcake.
I like how Jared needs special permission to use a powerwasher, but had free access to a Portal gun.
I think he’s about to lose privileges to the portal gun too.
I think to someone like the commander a portal gun is just a weird, geeky, just too scientificky toy, but a powerwasher has some serious destructive power that must be user responsibly.
I honestly doubt that it is safe for Jared to be wielding an Aperture Science Dual Portal Device.
Especially if he can recreate THAT scene from Portal 2 as he wishes.
That “JESus chrIST” really caught me off guard! Still laughing xD
‘Think with portals…’ would that be a psychic type move?
Man, I’m glad I started reading this comic. My friend introduced it to me, but I haven’t started reading it until today. Speaking of which, I don’t know his username here.
This is off topic, but I feel like Mr. Incredible should work at the agency teaching an integration class.
Lol, the commander says Jesus Christ the same way as my grandfather.
A cupcake must be the equivalent to one Smartie to Mr. Fish.
Man, I’ve missed MGDMT! Where was the website? P.S., this is probably my favorite comic so far! Congrats on your seventieth comic!
Someone hacked our host because they had a beef with one of their clients, and as a result over 500 unrelated sites went down.
I absolutely LOVE the look on Mr. Fish’s face XD
XD Yaaay Portal Reference! I want to get portal 2 so bad :>
I don’t find it wrong that after hearing Bill’s voice from L4D replacing Wheatley’s from Portal 2 that I find myself hearing Bill saying the Commander’s lines…
Good idea for Jared- probably best to do that in a place you know is empty first though. And I like the Commander’s last line- not quite sure why.
Holy crap, Mr. Fish *must* really want that cupcake… his eyes are actually focusing on the same object for once…
This is so wrong on at least 2 levels, lol
I love the Commander’s coffee cup. It’s so cute with it’s pink and blue colors…But it reminds me of the previous comic with the Lobster Incident.
Dose anyone know what would happen in the even that poor Mr. Fish tore down the building, what would happen to the portals? I haven’t played the second game, and I always sort of wondered if the portal would dissipate, keep the wall around it stable, allow stuff to fall in, lie on a ground if the wall was knocked down…
I’ve seen enough hentai…
mr. fish looks so angry in that bottom left panel XD
Try nothing, my birds regularly ‘share’ my dinners, by which I mean they come over, help themselves, and I get what’s left. Which is most of it, since they’re just birds, after all.
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