Just a quick one this week because I’ve been working weekends to make up for all the time I’m going to be gone in July for cons and stuff.
That said, if you run into this sneaky, sort-of mohawked mofo wandering around Connecticon or SDCC, feel free to stop me for high fives or sketches or whatever it is that I do.
Gotta love how they’re the most supportive family that Jared ever had.
BTW, i’d love to have a fat pidgeon plushie. Best plushies are that of fat birds, true fact.
When I read the word plushie I tensed and I read your whole comment. Now I feel very, very sad.
A Fattest Pidgeon plush and Jared’s Hat and I would KILL on the cosplay circuit.
It is strange how Jared should be an outcast where is at, but has oddly found the exact right place he should be.
Absolutely agreed. What a great observation.
It really shows how much against expectations Kelly goes by just making her characters… people. Not one-dimentional jock/nerd stereotypes.
I still want a Mr Fish plushy. ._.
Heck yes! I would SO throw out my dying mattress and be all set!
I want a Mr. Fish Magikarp plushie and a Jared hat.
THAT would be super awesome.
Then you can go clubbing people to level up your Mr. Fish.
That said, I’m built more like Commander Badass than Jared, so I’d probably look odd dressed as Jared.
Make it so it can be unzipped and reversed into a Mini Gyarados
I would buy that as soon as I found it online. Someone, somewhere, please make this a thing ASAP.
I have a dead Tribble. It’s not as plushie as it was when I first got in at Quark’s.
You know, a pigeon squishable (those overly stuffed, round things) is a proposed design?
HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! That pigeon is fat!
In Indonesia, someone will cook that pigeon as a delicious fried poultry cuisine ^^;;
*darn it, i’m on a Ramadan fasting. I’m not supposed to talk about food… =_=;;
I suspect talking about it is less offensive than actually eating. One of my friends in college would explain that she couldn’t eat during Ramadan, but now that I think about it she never said much else about food then. I didn’t know that not talking about food was part of it though.
I am pretty sure ‘not talking about food’ is not a rule, just something that you tend to do when you are not letting yourself eat.
I think it’s more so that Storm Wing is fasting, and doesn’t want to talk about food, because it’ll make him/her more hungry, thereby making the fast more difficult.
Exactly ^^; LOLs
Btw, i’m a man ^_^
The him/her was simply included to cover all possibilities. We nerdy folk are an inclusive people and wish to offend none unjustly!
And “hen” would be unsuitable at the moment since that too might evoke thoughts about food. :p
City Pigeons are not an animal native to North America. They brought them over ’cause they’re good eatin’. And now nobody wants to eat them anymore. Such is life.
The English brought foxes to Australia so they could have something to hunt, barely anyone hunts so they’re just a pest now.
Same with rabbits, there were never rabbits in Australia and now they’re a destructive pest that have proven to be near unstoppable after an english jerk brought them down to have for hunting as entertainment, not even for food.
No food or drink from sun-up to sun-down is a bit uncomfortable, but not technically a fast, because you are still eating and drinking every day. My job (field welding) has required similar many times, for extended periods. It’s not that hard.
DAYS without food OR water is a fast. I’ve also done this many times, while working, for personal reasons.
If I tack a religion to it, does it make it better?
There’s an entire breed of domestic pigeons that are nearly that fat, google “Modena Pigeons”, they are amazing.
You just changed my life.
They are totally the same species as “city pigeons”, too. Kinda like the difference between two breeds of dog, really. So one of those Modenas could totally have a baby with a city pigeon and end up with just a wild “fattest pigeon”. It would be amazing to see.
What is interesting is that there are another breed of pidgeons (Maltese Pidgeons) that come from Modena, but are really tall and thin. They look even weirder, super photoshopped.
I choose you!
That is the mark of a true, caring ‘father,’ when a man says the he will not question someone’s life choices… even if some of those life choices involve organizing pigeons…
On that note, lookit the pudgy pigeon!!
I was reminded of pudgy pidgey island from the pokemon anime
Dood. I need a poster of Jared holding the pigeon up. *NEED*.
As long as it doesn’t read “The circle of life” on it, I’m ok with it.
The circle of pigeon.
The Circle of Pigeon:
Person –> popcorn –> pigeon –> poop –> person –> popcorn…
I laughed at it more than it is appropriate XD
Maybe with the caption, “Organizing your Pigeons since 2013”
Let’s got down to pigeon
because y’know the word pidgin comes from a Chinese pidgin where it meant ‘business’ (‘business’ > somethingsomething in the pidgin itself > ‘pidgin’)
Let’s got down. god dammit. at the most critical juncture — FOILED! Yet again!
Let’s get down to business to defeat the hens. Did they send me feathers when I asked for talons? You’re the saddest clucks I ever met but you can bet before we’re through… Mister I’ll make a crane out of you.
It is the God Pigeon!!!!
You mean the Godfeather?
You, sir, owe me a drink.
Goodfeathers flock together, (Slappy whacks ’em with her purse).
I’m thinking a cool name for an Italian pigeon….
Like… Don Dove-ito?
…Okay, okay. Off to corner i go…
I release you from your pigeon corner and give you a fattest-pigeon-shaped cookie.
Psst–what did he say?
He says you have done well, Squirrelyone, and that a respectful child like you, who has brought him an offering of bread baked yesterday, will surely be destined for great things.
What am I, some kind of pigeon comedian, here for your amusement?
Yes. Yes you are.
I see your slappy the squirrel and raise you a link to the godpigeon’s greatness http://youtu.be/Ee2EzWdO-oo
I looked it up. It’s the Godpigeon. It also gave me some nostalgia willies. I recommend it.
No matter how odd it is to organize pigeons in a parking lot, I have to say that that one was totally worthy of capture and showing off to friends. I might even have done that, If I were walking to their location already like he was. It truly is the fattest pigeon.
…So can I make that pic of Jared my avatar on my friend’s website…?
“this sneaky, sort-of mohawked mofo wandering around Connecticon or SDCC, feel free to stop me”
Huh ? I always thought you were a woman. Not sure why.
I am a woman, just an androgynous looking one.
Well, I was kind of wondering what Betty Page might look like with a mullet, even one that’s barely 1/8 long. And a mohawked mullet at that. :D
I have to admit, coming off the whole Kratos bald headedness stunt, a Mohawk is the clear choice of progression.
But I surely would love me some more Kratos… Never played the games but somehow he is like a paragon of all human struggle against sheer unsurmountable odds for me. Someone you can fight with… and mourn with.
You remind me of my sister actually o.o It’s probably just the mohawk…
I have to admit, as I was scrolling through my LJ friendslist, my first reaction on seeing the photo was ‘wait, how did Matt Smith grow his hair out like that so soon after he got a crew cut?’.
I’m asexual, so I swear this is not intended in a creepy way, but you’re a beautiful androgynous-looking woman.
2nd. I normally refrain from making unsolicited comments about people’s appearance but I wish I looked so good, dang.
Also not intended in a creepy way, but you look like a woman who can handle herself (and her surroundings) pretty good – one, you can actually befriend and have a blast and a bar fight with.
Aside the fact you post an awesome comic here.
3rded, ALL the asexuals think coelasquid is beautiful
Correction. Fourthed. To those of us who don’t enjoy looking at a woman’s (or a man’s) secondary (or primary) sexual characteristics, fairly androgynous women like yourself, Coelasquid, are simply beautiful. Don’t ask me why.
Well, damn, fifthed.
I have the same mohawk, only longer and floppier. Mohawks rule o/\o
Well, as the Riddler says “Androgyny is Freedom.” I’m currently stalking him on Tumblr at http://theriddlerspeaks.tumblr.com/
Though I think that if Nygma saw Jared in all his Derpy Glory there would be a new dent in his desk.
I am in lust with your mohawk. I wish I could pull one off, but two things stop me. First, and most important, I have really really curly hair, second, my place of work is conservative. (note, if I could have one and have it look that awesome, work could kiss my tush.)
Oh, thank GOD, I’ve been wondering this for months but I couldn’t think up a nonoffensive way of asking.
A woman with a sort-of mohawk, yes.
Surprisingly, “mofo” is a genderless noun. :P
> Surprisingly, “mofo” is a genderless noun.
Colour me surprised, then.
And ever so slightly embarrassed as well…
Coelo is a magnificent woman.
I mean have you seen this?
Nerdy, sexy, AND artistic? 10/10 would take to a nice restaurant for socially acceptable interactions.
XD “10/10 would take to a nice restaurant for socially acceptable interactions” you win all the internets.
Probably because she is and if you read the comments everyone refers to her with female pronouns, because, ya know, she’s a woman. So congratulations, you were correct!
I always thought Coelasquid wrote the web-comic MGDMT. Weird, huh?
As soon as I saw the fattest pigeon, I was immediately reminded of another comic I read recently about someone being angry about the biggest pigeon always getting all the food. For some reason, I thought it was an earlier comic here with Jared making some off-hand remark about it.
So I looked back a few weeks, and then remembered it wasn’t here. It was over at Oglaf, and it wasn’t about pigeons. It was about seagulls. And now I feel dumb.
Maybe Jared will become a paladin as well.
Nooooo that paladin guy was so mopey and uncaring, you can’t make Jared like that!
I’m sure he had his reasons.
Well played sir, well played.
Jared as a Paladin would be interesting. He’d be gleefully running around righting wrongs. I can see it now.
Jared: “Look Commander! I have a sword!”
Commander Badass: “Ummm Jared, that’s a nerf sword.”
Jared: “I know! It’s the best nerf sword!”
Commander Badass: “I’m just going to let you have that.”
Could be worse. He could have tried organizing cats.
At that point, a caring dad has to step in.
In the Commander’s house, he probably wouldn’t have stepped in until Jared started organizing millipedes…
I doubt Jared will ever knock anthing up without using a Ditto.
Jared eggs. Why did you have to seed that idea in my mind, you magnificent bastard?
*Holds arms up in the air, camera zooms off* PEANUUUUUUUUUUUT
The next arc needs to be Jared knocking someone up. I don’t care how it happens. Alcohol or impressing a lady as… interesting as him or using a ditto are all acceptable ways for this to happen. Perhaps a combination of all three.
A poster of the third panel has been requested by just about everyone I’ve shown this to.
Add me to that list, because I would put that up on my wall
I want it as a huge lapel pin. Then I can wear it alllllll the time.
Does anyone know how to make this a desktop background?
Are Jonesy and the Commander an item now? He has her arm around her *girly squeal* :3
Judging by the time he kisses her long time ago, i’m pretty sure they have a steady relationship by now… Then again, Squid is the only who knows what kind of progress they will make ^_^
Since some time, yes. The first kiss is here.
And on a almost not related note (gosh, my trip down the archives brought back some good memories), Jared had already shown some interest in the past in fat pigeons, although in a online game context.
Jared getting some type of closure?
On the other hand, I can understand wanting to sort out pigeons by size. More tidy this way.
Um, maybe me being in the middle of moving to a new place, helping moving a colleague, and reorganizing the furniture and doing an inventory of stuff at my workplace has something to do with this empathy for ordered things.
(reflecting on how I want to re-organize people in the subway car/the bus whenever I take public transportation)
Nah, I’m naturally this way.
gah, html link fail. I got the kiss, but not the
Thinking about it, better this way than the opposite :-)
Shouldn’t hyperlink show in some colored way?
I wanna fat pigeon plushie too!
This is probably what my parents think of me.
How does one organize pigeons ?
With a stirring speech, usually related to overthrowing the bourgeoisie.
Down with Birdeoisie.
Those Vultures have oppressed us for far too long
It’s like getting all your ducks in a row, except you don’t need a duck call and you use popcorn instead of bread.
Wait, why popcorn? Doesn’t bread work just fine?
If you get hungry, the popcorn in yummier than stale bread.
I imagine that it’s easier than herding cats.
Presumably in order of fatness.
He’s a Pokemon trainer, so I’m sure that gives him some ability to handle animals. But if you were asking what order you organize pigeons by, it must be a graph based on coloring, poofiness and fatness…maybe
Sometimes, it seems like Jared has all the keys to true happiness.
Also, you have all the best haircuts, Lady Squid.
Love the photo. I don’t know what that is, but it’s a lot better than a mohawk.
The pidgeon’s pretty neat too.
I love that the pigeon seems to pretty cool with Jared holding it too.
I can only imagine that the pigeon is thinking “Man I’m all the way up here and I didn’t even have to fly this is RAAAAAAAAD put me on that Scorsese statue wouldja?”
can’t just hop up on Scorsese’s head! That’s Goodfeather turf!
In the last panel, I thought they were talking about the pigeon. It took me a while to clue in that they were talking about Jared.
So did I. In fact, it wasn’t until I read your comment that I was like, “Oohhh!”
Glad I wasn’t the only one. I caught on when I remembered which comic I was reading: if MGDMT does a joke at someone’s expense, the target is much more likely to be a gormless manchild than a fat person. (Pigeons are people, too.)
I want the third panel as a window decal. Preferably the re-usable kind so I could put it on a different window or mirror every couple of days.
Hah, me too.
3rd panel needs to be on a t-shirt stat D:
Now that’s a nice Battle Pigeon Jared got there.
If that pigeon was in Hatoful Boyfriend, it’d be the fat school kid that the others all bullied. It would have a moving and bizzare backstory that’d come out in a storyline that you’d cry at.
NB. I did not cry at HB, at all, ever.
It’s so fat I bet it would learn tackle instead of gust or peck.
That pigeon’s so fat the effectiveness of ice- and fire-type moves used against it is halved.
That pigeons so far, it ain’t even a flying type
That pigeon’s so fat it starts out with rollout
Many years ago, I found a pigeon pretty much exactly like this. In Tivoli, in Copenhagen. I named it ‘The Godfather’ and fed it chips.
I wonder, is Commander referring to the pigeon, or Jared?
Rhetorical question, I know he’s referring to Jared.
It does read in a funny way if you imagine they’re discussing the pidgeon.
as much as it pains me to admit this (to myself, mostly), i can’t go to connecticon. so i hope you don’t mind, but i’ve asked a friend of mine to high-five you for me.
that being said, i love that the commander is so supportive of all the weird crap jared is constantly getting up to that makes him happy. when his kids get to be teenagers, i can’t imagine they’ll even be able to do anything that could surprise him. i mean, jared already lives in a secret fort with a giant fish-dragon and organizes pigeons.
Jared should probably count himself lucky that the thing doesn’t crap all over him, given how he’s holding it.
Organizing the pigeons?
He never struck me as being OCD, let alone THAT much OCD.
Given the earlier Hatoful Boyfriend strip, he seems to have a thing about pigeons and their properties in particular.
It makes me all the more nervous because of that sheer fact D:
I don’t know why cause I know she’s “good” but she seems to rip and insult on Jared more than any other character :P
She probably represents the people who always send me emails asking when Jared is going to get his shit together or why Commander doesn’t force him to man up.
Really though, I from her perspective he’s this weird eccentric kid who tags along after the guy she’s kind of involved with and does borderline socially acceptable things.
Do people email you about that? Jeez. One of the things I love about this page here is that it feels so true to the characters, the Commander is pretty perfectly consistent with his policy of not getting worked up about shit that does not matter (and also having a weird semi-fatherly-ish relationship with him) (and double also organizing pigeons is both hilarious and something I completely believe Jared would do). The Commander does not strike me as likely to force Jared to “man up.”
Besides, using a mixture of Blunt Force Trauma and more Blunt Force Trauma, Jared has tamed a sea monster and crushed small children’s dreams everywhere through his innocence. The last thing people need is for him to “man up” and start doing things seriously.
Still, I may be bias, one of my favorite things is to organize all my polyhedrons by size, color, and sides, with the highest numbers up and then cackle about how they all called me mad. But who’s laughing now baby! It’s ME THE EVIL MIDNIGHT BOMBER WHAT BOMBS AT MIDNIGHT! MWAHAHAHA!
Wait, wait, wait. I’m sorry. Poor impulse control power.
Oh jeez, and my friends make fun of me when I spend half of DnD night color sorting the die into a prismatic spectrum.
What else are you going to do while waiting for your round of combat?
Congratulations, Pidove was caught. Give a nickname to Pidove?
What is wrong with you? Clearly that is a Pidgey.
You spelled *pudgy wrong.
More like Pudgey.
But Pidove IS fatter than Pidgey. Pidove weighs more. c:
(Also, closer in species.)
If the boyd is called Corleone, I’m in. Alas, The Goodfeathers.
I thought Commander was talking about the pigeon and not Jared for a second.
You were not alone. I was originally going to comment how nice it was that the Commander is actually sympathetic to a fat pigeon’s choice of being fat.
And then I got it.
Hahaha I just had to comment this time.
I remembered a time when I was little that I was chasing the fattest pigeon I had seen it was so fat that tried to fly only just to land tired a coupple of metres.
Until I finally caught it. then well… Let it go.
What a great day that day.
They say it’s an amazing feeling to see yourself in a character, to feel represented by even just one person in the media you enjoy. I admit it’s pretty nice to see that Jared, at least, has achieved something great here… but it also pains me to see how nice he has it when my own dreams yet elude me. Bird *AND* mystical cosmic rainbow? All so easily gotten! And here I am, still Fattest Pigeon-less, just waiting for my big break. Maybe one day, it’ll come. Maybe one day.
Also, thanks for keeping me company during this dramatic interlude, noir-ish Commander! I totes forgot you hung out around the comment box. :3
Unrelated to the comic…LOVE the hair, Coela.
This has been an awful obnoxious week at work so far and this is the first thing to make me genuinely laugh all day, so seriously, thank you, Coela, and thank you fat pigeon.
Oh god, I thought commander was talking about the pidgeon.
My sides. oh god my sides.
You have the exact same hairstyle as I do, If I shaved my goatee, I’d look EXACTLY like you, freaky…
Chicks can’t resist fat pigeons…
This is what happens when pigeons eat at McDonalds. They get supersized.
Is that a WOOT ‘!’ shirt he’s wearing?
Hey, at least he isn’t poisoning pigeons in the parking lot.
Is it disturbing that, to me, this song is closely associated with my childhood because of my parents enjoyment of Doctor Demento CDs?
Now THAT makes ME feel old…I not only listened to Dr. Demento on the radio, I’ve got a 4-CD collector’s album of songs Dr. Demento played on his show.
…And now I can’t even get the replay of that song out of my head…
Actually, Tom Lehrer is the guilty party! He is a retired university teacher who in the 1960s wrote satirical songs like “Poisoning Pigeons In the Park”, “The Vatican Rag”, etc. that are surprisingly still applicable today. Lehrer has said of his musical career, “If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.”
Tom Lehrer – So Long Mom (A Song for WW III):
Oh… Dr. Demento did play Tom’s black songs on occasion. Ahem. (slink away)
…yeah, that’s a fat pigeon all right. All the more fun to squish. Shale, get over there!
How in the hell did Jared catch a pigeon? They all fly away from me when I try to even go near them.
I guess his Pokemon catching skills are unmatched. He obtained the Pudgey Pidgey.
Once that pigeon gets back from Canada and gives all the other pigeons their blood back, he won’t be quite so fat anymore.
Fun Fact: During his last years, Tesla had gone completely insane and fell in love with a pigeon. Will Jared meet the same fate?
He wasn’t mad, he just played Hatoful Boyfriend for too long.
It’s probably a side effect of drawing a comic about manliness, but you look surprisingly…
Dammit, I don’t know how to say it without looking rude.
Then why say it at all?
You MUST make an equally awkward nerdy girl to complement Jared. Except make them entirely sexually oblivious to each other.
I don’t think that would work, it’s done to death already.
I MUST POKE THAT PIGEON. ITS FATNESS DEMANDS TO BE POKED.
Ok, so who’s enough of a “matchmaker” to try hooking that pidgeon with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man? Spendlar? Egon? Zuul?
It was Spengler just fyi….
Jones might be right. But does Jared even have interest in women? Not saying he is gay, but kind of seems almost asexual. Then again haven’t really seen him around enough women to really be sure.
this strip seems to indicate that Jared is straight
He was implied to have a thing for Poison in the strip where she appeared. (Thus his interest in her plumbing.)
Actually, aside from Poison, has he actually interacted with any available women, at any point in the series?
No doubt he does. But like any man who is unattractive, unconfident, awkward, or simply unlucky, he is to be mocked and shamed for being unable to attract women, and mocked and shamed further for possibly being a virgin.
Have we seen him unable to attract women? There’s a lack of women he has been able to interact with at length. They’re either with the Commander who has a lot of traits women are attracted to, his ex, or outside of Jared’s timeline.
There was Poison, but he kinda screwed the pooch there. And his internet girl. But I wouldn’t consider him unattractive or lacking in confidence. If he cleaned up and learned a little bit of social-sexual behavior, he could be a true ladykiller. I know a lot of women that would be attracted to his sense of fun and innocence.
To give the guy some credit, he HAS had an internet girlfriend at some point – they were going to train Mr Fish to dance to a Lady GaGa remix. We’ve not really heard about her since, though, so I don’t know if that still counts for much.
I’m starting to worry about Mr. Fish. First Jarod got distracted by AC:New Leaf now he’s organizing pigeons.
Clearly, The Fattest Pigeon will make Mr. Fish an offa he can not refuse, and the team of Don Godfeather and Wiseguy Fish will become the inverse of the old saw:
One’s a pigeon with the most pigeon fat a pigeon ever did had.
The other’s a freaking Laser Fish.
Together, they commit crime!
I’m not sure if my previous comment went through (things turned red?) But I must point out that there is a real pigeon breed where every bird is that chubby! Try doing a google image search for “Modena Pigeon”. They are AMAZING.
For some reason I thought you were a woman. And now I guess you’re not.
…not really sure why I assumed so in the first place. I still love your work. Just…yeah.
…I’m going to shut up now…
Oh god, ignore that. People which shaved heads and no body past the neck always confuse me.
CURSE THIS HIPSTER HAIRSTYLE!
No brow ridge, no adam’s apple?
With Jared’ brain he doesn’t need to do drugs, he is like on constant drug induced high XD
This pigeon is one neck injury away from becoming an Amsterdam Balloon Cropper http://www.cracked.com/article_20486_5-insane-ways-science-humiliating-birds-with-wtf-images.html
Organising the pigeons as in placing them in order, or as in managing their activities? If it’s the latter, Jared may be conscripting an army.
Kneel Before The Pigeon King!!!
I feel like the last panel hits a bit too close to home to things that might have been said about me by relatives or friends.
And there’s also that time i had a pet seagull that i found on a beach, unable to fly.
It looks like you’re wearing nothing but a glove and a smile in your photo coela, it looks good ;) I love your work and will be reading MGDMT until you stop making it or until I stop breathing, keep up the great work :)
I see you have total recall on your dvd shelf there. I approve.
Question: will you be at a booth at SDCC? If so, which one?
How did Jared manage to organise the pigeons? Whenever I do it they keep wandering around and out of their assigned areas.
I think, more importantly, we should be asking ‘How did Jared manage to get close enough to pick up the pigeons?’
All talk of pidgeons aside, Coela, could you do some of us a favor?
In the future, consider involving Megaman, X, Zero, etc., at least in a cameo, if you’re able to. The Blue Bomber and his allies/descendants need some lovin, ’cause Capcom sure isn’t gonna give it to em.
Jonsey you can sure be tough on Jared, even if it’s warranted a little.
The picture of you didn’t load for last night. Now that I see, you are a cute little thing.
You picture (mostly the expression) reminds me of The Scorpion from “The Devil’s Carnival.”
In a good way…
I have, essentially, made this same life choice.
Fat pigeon is funny pigeon.
I kinda been wondering what Marv’s been doing right now?
And where’s Saxton Hale?
I LOVE hair. Long hair, short hair, colored, bleached, highlighted, straight, curly, teased and volumized! Love it!
But when a gal chops off her locks, I often gasp. But this is only a close-up. I would love to request to see how it compliments your style. Care to share any other pics to show off your look?
If the internet has taught us anything, it’s that there is SOMEONE who can look at Jarred and wanna break a piece offa dat.
“Pigeon quality is directly proportionate to pigeon fatness”
…Coleasquid gets it.
Jared holding the fattest pigeon HAS to be a poster. This has to be a thing O.O I need it, for.. reasons >.> That reason is my home needs epic art on its walls. Also Coelasquid is an incredibly attractive sneaky, sort-of mohawked mofo.. *feels like a creeper now* … Sooooooo Poster? >.>;
Somehow, I’m reminded of the comic who said his ambition was to kick a pigeon. I reckon this would be a likely subject, as his inability to fly/run/waddle/flop away would preclude his foot based launch vector.
The Fattest Pigeon must be introduced to City Face. That is all.
Feminists often tell me that women who have lots of sex are considered “sluts” and that men who have lots of sex are considered “studs”, and that this is bad and awful and absolute proof of the evil patriarchy keeping women down.
And yet, they never seem to mention that women who haven’t had sex are considered “pure” and that men who haven’t had sex are considered childish, weak, and deserving of scorn.
In fact, society scorns both genders for their sexual behavior, but it scorns them for different offenses. Women for having sex, men for not having sex. And it praises women for not having sex and men for having sex.
Even more interesting is that while feminists will deride men for their “privilege”, and tell them that their “male privilege” blinds them to the way they “mistreat” women – i.e. looking down on a woman for having lots of sex, they are just as blind to the way society looks down on men for *not* having sex, e.g. this comic.
In fact, even defending men who aren’t bemuscled or confident enough to “bag” a woman will earn me scorn from fellow men and women alike, no matter how socially-justice-oriented they are, since it is so ingrained that male virginity is a sign of weakness and unmanliness. Soon enough I’d even be accused of sharing that trait, a trait so venomously derided by society that even letting my friends know or my doctor know about it fills me with shame and leads to mockery.
And if I did? I wouldn’t dare let my friends know. Male virgins are derided in the media, played out for laughs, their unmanliness and worthlessness mocked for all to see. Just think about a certain famous movie you yourself may have seen a few years ago.
In truth, I agree with the very feminists that you may think I have been arguing against in the beginning of this text. Men do have privilege. Society is awful to women. I dare anyone to support slut-shaming in my presence. But in our rush to defend women, we shouldn’t blind ourselves to the fact that society has unfair and damaging sexual standards for men, too. And it does nothing for our cause to engage in the same kind of shaming behavior against unattractive or unconfident men that we engage in against confident, sexually active women.
So, if you really want to stand up for what is right, maybe think a bit more deeply before you mock people, because despite their gender, they are still real people with real feelings.
Permission to quote this on Facebook Ma’m?
I was a virgin until I was 22, lack of confidence back then, mixed with lack of interest in trying to date kept me on the “No-Fly” list as it were. I was never mocked back then for being a virgin. I guess due to a combination of the choice and the fact that I am built like a brown bear has something to do with it.
It shouldn’t have to be that way, but it is. People will mock each other for every little thing they can. Be it a “slut” for a woman, though I have called men sluts as well. Good for the goose, good for the gander. Or be it “virgin” for a man, no one should be mocked for what they are, but they always will be. Even if things were to reverse. And that sucks.
BIGGEST PIGEON IS BEST PIGEON.
This strip is precious. They have the most dysfunctional yet admirable family.
That being stated, you are cute! Woah. :D
I have to say Jared’s life looks pretty awesome.
Was this inspired by a real pigeon witnessed, or some-such???
This whole time, I thought you were actually a squid. But your picture has shown me differently.
This is me in real life. I freaking love pigeons, and the larger they are the better.
I for one accept our new Pigeon overlords
N’aww, Coelasquid, you’re adorable! XD *pinches cheek like an old lady*
Looking at the background, it seems the pidgeon is starting to get its own gravity field.
Now that you mention it…Yeah. If not an actual gravity-well, at least a strong “animal attraction” was sufficient to lure in Jared, hook, line & sinker.
Maybe I’m just not aware of the gravity of the situation. This particular subject is getting too heavy for me.
Next strip we learn that Jared actually has a wife and children. That would blow the Commander’s mind. @_@
You know, that isn’t weird at all to me. Jared is a Pokemon trainer, picking up weird animals when he walks in the grass is what he does. Jonesy and commander are kinda out of line for giving him grief for practicing his trade.
Commander gave him NO grief!
He said as much!
True, but something about the way he says it, spontaneously rather than as a response to someone, kind of gives the impression that it’s himself he’s trying to convince.
Jared has a way with animals.
I LOVE THAT FAT PIGEON. I LOVE IT. It is now my favorite character, until I forget about it.
the fattest pigeon would do very well as a T-shirt and you need more Mr.fish Q.Q i miss him so much
The look on Jonsey’s face is priceless! xD
Also: D’aaaaaaawww! The pigeon is soooo fat and adorable!
I can’t not hear the LOZ item acquisition theme inf my mind when I see the panel with Jared holding the pigeon up.
…I need that pigeon as a plushie. it’s so fat~!
I would give you money. Real money. From the real world and everything. give me that plush.
Imagine if you squeezed it, it would coo! I want one too!
Squishable did a Yelling Bird plushie, I have one of those, but not sure if this pigeon would work as one of their plushies. Probably not, it would be so much better to have it be more pigeon shaped, just.. BATTLE PIGEON majestic.
Actually, I am now questioning my life choices, which have never led me to a situation where I’m organizing pigeons.
…I’m going to quote you. I love that line too much.
Pigeonado?… Mega Pigeon vs Jaredctopus?…
Request for 3rd panel to be desktop pic sized :D This week comic is just adorable. That pigeon, I need to huggle it.
Jared is living KC Green’s dream.
I’m sure this question has been asked before, but does Kelly have anything published in print? I want these pictures on paper, so they could survive EMPs and all kinds of other doomsday scenarios…
I DESPERATELY NEED a Fattest Pigeon poster AT THE VERY LEAST.
What I really want is Fattest Pigeon on a tie-dye t-shirt!!!!!! I would buy the fuck out of that.
Fattest Pigeon would also make a good squishable.
Is it wrong that I immediately thought of Angie Gallant’s playthrough of Hatoful Boyfriend?
This is an epic trollface :)
Great picture! “Eyyyyy” XD
We in the PNW would love if you came up to like, PAX or something!!
Think I found the bird…
You know, a homeless person would eat well on that pigeon. Slow roasted over a trash can fire, maybe with just a sprinkle of salt and pepper from the packets that people toss with the bag from Micky D’s. Just saying.
This reminded me of mister fish:
Hatoful fat pigeon boifurendo?
“Organizing” the pigeons? That sounds like. . .pigeonholing.
Fattest Pidgeon has the best Hit Point IVs. It can tank like a mofo with roost.
Doesn’t Jared have an Internet girlfriend?
Can panel 3 be a poster? I would definitely love to frame that and display it for the world to see.
How did that pigeon even let him pick it up and hold it, and why was he sorting through the pigeons in the first place? o_O
The third panel of this one is my favorite panel in all the updates, I mean it.
Looks like an unusally big American Giant Runt. I wonder if it’s on purpose…
Oooh, you look cute :D
I swear, Coela, you’re one of those few people who look like they were destined to be an excellent example of character design. Which isn’t too surprising, considering your line of work makes you design characters and/or handle them over many frames, but you still have the uncanny ability to pull off all the badass looks, with style in spades.
In other words, I am totes jelly of yer look.
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