I just wanted an excuse to draw somebody futzing up portals until they got stuck in a water ball.
Also, I started a tumblr, even though it only has one thing I actually drew on it so far.
inb4 Cave Johnson-style “Mr. Fish” parody.
Well I wasn’t planning on that but your handle does make me think of a Cave Johnson pony. *Tilts head and goes into Scrubs style daydream* His cutie mark would be a lemon.
Lemon on fire.
Cave Johnson here, introducing our latest project, Ponies.
That’s not a Pony. That’s a horse. We sell those too.
Cave Johnson, we’re done here.
Now we’ll convert their livers to explode! Because when nature made horses, she didn’t give a damn about multifunctional equipment.
We’ve also added a few legs, venom sacks, _human_ mammary glands, and a kill-switch ‘pretty red bow’ just in case.
Nah, I already own a horse.
You pathetic bronies should stop invading things that have nothing to do with your pointless fandom and childish ponies. And you WONDER why so many people hate you. So suck it u over feminized men.
Totally missing the while spirit of the comic series buddy. Go spread your hate somewhere else and leave people alone. Asshole.
Cave Ponyson here. Yes, we all know my cutie mark is a lemon. But! That’s besides the point! The point is, we’ve still got a LOT of work to do! There’s a time and a place for imagination: coming up with new science experiments! So, back to work.
you win one internets sir
Haha, Jared, that’s what you get.
When you let your heart win. Whooa-ooa-oooa.
That last panel is priceless.
I think the portal gun comes with a tag:
“Unless you are being motivated by a homocidal mad-scientist artificial intelligence, do not touch this.”
I found it hilarious!
Can’t wait to play Portal 2!
I LOLed at his face in the 5th panel xDD
Cause I normally relate to that so well when I play those games. Always manage to fudge it up royally somehow.
I’m finding it difficult to see what the sequence of the panels is exactly. Which ones are third and fourth?
The “WOOOOOOO” panel is #3, then go from panel 3′s top-right corner to proceed.
I think the “WOOOOOOO” panel is 2, because he jumps off to get the momentum to fly up in the other panels.
Glad to see I wasn’t the only one getting confused. X_X
Jared forgot the first law of Portals:
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman’s terms: speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Yeah, slamming into the roof may make you misfire the Portal gun. It does have a hair trigger, after all. And I always wondered what might happen if you fired it into water (thank you Portal 2 lolz).
The first law of portals is, don’t talk about Fight Club.
I may have mentioned Fight Club once, but I think I got away with it.
I’m calling on Durden’s Law.
That’s like Godwin’s Law, only it applies to mentioning Fight Club.
WHat about Shroedinger’s Fight club, a law stating that within a room, a fight club both exists and doesn’t exist simultaneously until you open the door.
Coexistential Fight Club?
Wasn’t the first law of Portal “Do not submerge the device, even partially, in liquid. Most importantly, under no circumstances should you *bzzzt*”?
GLaDOS had a weird habit of announcing every law as the “most important one” or the “first rule” of using the portal gun.
Part of the humor.
I don’t know why, but it seems funnier knowing that you don’t think it’s as funny as you’d hope. Don’t get me wrong, the water ball was priceless, and describing the bracers as fancy high heels was great, but the title just feels like it brought it all together.
do not submerge the portal device?
maybe this is a newer model?
Don’t taunt it either.
That’s alot of fish to try and get your arm around O_o
^_^ C’mon! Totally hilarious! <3
Dude, I got a comic pitch for ya. Prepare yourself. A Mister Fish parody of Poptart Cat! Your mind has just been blown! You’re welcome. B)
I dunno, that looks more like repulsion gel to me; the water in Portal is either clear, or opaque and lethal.
And the guys in the lab say not to get covered in repulsion gel.
If it were repulsion gel, it would have put the portal on top. It isn’t flowing through a pipe into the portal, so it must be on a surface underneath the fluid, so it seems likely that it’s water.
Remember, the repulsion gel does NOT like the human skeleton
Is it just me, or does Jared have some serious trollface action there in panel 2?
There does appear to be some epic coolface going on there.
Watch the language there, pal.
lmao i doubt Mr.Fish honestly cares what happens to Jared.
They have made an inseparable bond, though.
I still love how Mr. Fish’s eyes are off-center.
. . .
. . . remember kids don’t try this at home , this nerd sidekick is an professional . . . .
best than play with an portal maker is play with an portal maker and an work with an pressure washer at same time !!! right , jared ?!
That was great, Jared’s on the way to manliness already!
It may not be as funny as you were hoping, but it’s certainly interesting.
Poor Mr Fish.
WARGLEBLGHLRGB. heh. I love.
‘wargleblghlrgb’ is the best.
I need to get some of those boots.
Is that an trollface in panel two (2)?
not intentionally, Jared just has a long face.
Hey now, you’re not supposed to get the device wet. That’s not part of the test.
Sure, sure. The test is ALL about the meatbags. The device starts to have a little fun for the first time in her life, and you’re all “Don’t get the device wet.” Prig.
I want one of those; it would save so much on commute money/time
Portal 2 story arc! Yes!
Is that a panicked “WARGLEBLGHLRGB!” or a happy, ‘I’m having fun right now’ “WARGLEBLGHLRGB!”?
Jared sure does enjoy doing wacky things while the Commander watches with mild disdain.
Humorous suggestion: Reverse the roles.
Wow. Do want!
I dunno, that sounds like it would cut into Jonesy’s territory too much.
She could use more screen time.
The real question is why is there an Enrichment Center in the back of the Agency?
So the manly men don’t do it all over the city?
…do what, exactly?
heh, heh. You said “enrich themselves”, heh heh.
Never has anyone made the enjoyment of fine art, haute cuisine and urban green scape sound so dirty.
That’s because I’m a classy kind of webdenizen.
I love the Commander comforting Mr. Fish. :D
If I got my hands on a portal device…I would be dead within 10 minutes.
Laws of phyics have just been defied. Which is weird, because portal is pretty good about its physics.
YOU CANNA CHANGE THE LAW OF PHYSICS, LAW OF PHYSICS, LAW OF PHYSICS.
YOU CANNA CHANGE THE LAW OF PHYSICS, LAW OF PHYSICS CAPTN!
And then there’s the Klingons off the starboard bow ….
WE COME IN PEACE-SHOOT TO KILL, SHOOT TO KILL!
WE COME IN PEACE-SHOOT TO KILL, SHOOT TO KILL SULU!
IT’S WORSE THAN THAT: HE’S DEAD, JIM, DEAD, JIM, DEAD, JIM.
IT’S WORSE THAN THAT: HE’S DEAD, JIM, DEAD, JIM, DEAD!
“If your in a future where the laws of physics no longer apply, God help you.”
All these comments win my love xD
Heh, fun with Portal physics.
Also, COMPANION CUBE ON JARED’S SHIRT :D
Sorry, just had to let that out.
You have a tumblr? HIPPPSSTERRRRRRRR
Hey, I don’t see you flexing that slapstick muscle all that often. It’s pretty damn toned!
This was plenty amusing, don’t worry. His facial expressions make up for any lack of humorous lines.
Also, the minor impact damage he caused the test chamber. He seems to have forgotten that “Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing goes out.”
Hell Yeah! This wasn’t as funny as you thought, it is much more! :D I love it!
Mr. Fish is like “Jared will learn to live in my world as I did in his”.
True Love requires understanding on both parties parts.
ASDFGHWHARBL grammar suxxxor
I’m having the worst day ever so it might be–most probably is–me but I gotta agree with you here. It’s not as funny, but then again I haven’t played either game yet. *gets shot but moves on* “Fancy high heels” was hilarious though. XD
are you kidding? this is hilarious!
The utter rampant silliness of this comic makes me very happy.
Hmm. I don’t know why the water is forming a ball like that. It should only do that in zero G, and there’s no Excursion Funnel at work there.
I believe that if you fired the portal gun at the bottom of a pool, and then at the ground, it would spill out all the water up onto the ground using the pressure of the pool. Initially it would be fast, then peter out. If you connected a full pool to an empty pool, the water levels would even out.
Curse you and your Black Arts! Were I the High King, this Physics would be a heresy!
Then again, if I were the High King I’d be too damn stoned to care much.
U R RITE, AM I RITE?
I mean, come on, people. It’s not like the Portal 2 universe is the same universe as Commander’s. Maybe the laws of physics work differently here.
Depends, do we know that’s water and not the artists rendition of Repulsion Gel?
Nah, it’s water.
Jared better hope it’s water,
Because the lab boys said “DON’T GET COVERED IN THE REPULTION JELL”
Love it! I hope there are more misadventures with the portal gun!
Do not submerge the Handheld Portal Device into water, not even partially.
but they did in the second one… sorta….. idk how it fell ALL the way to the spot were you found it but it must have hit the ground a couple of times and the floor was full of water.
I like how Jared actually had the sense to wear the ‘heels’- I would normally picture him refusing to wear them to look tough in front of the Commander, while the Commander presses the silent alarm to alert the emergency team so those broken legs can be treated as soon as possible. He may be getting a little more genre-savvy…
So I noticed that you drew the lines in the background freehand.
I rule the lines in my sketches and then I ink them freehand. I’ve had it hammered into my head from a young age that it’s distractingly stiff to put mechanically straight lines next to organic freehand drawings.
I stand corrected.
On the other hand, Jared does the Trollface in panel 2.
YOU CANNOT UNSEE IT
Making those two portals wouldn’t really cause the water to rise that high in the air if it only started out a few inches deep. I know Portal may seem like crazy sci-fi, but it’s actually pretty easy to keep consistent within normal mechanics.
yeah, I ‘m aware the water would probably just ooze through the portal until there was an equal amount pressing down on both sides, maybe Jared winging back and forth through it causes enough disruption to pull more through.
Momentum isn’t quite as conserved as they’d have you believe.
I’ll shut down the rest of the “physics” crits right here:
Jared falls into orange portal going fast. He picks up water with him like a splash and it dangles in the air for a few seconds before falling back into the blue portal.
Can we get on with it and laugh now?? Thank you.
No, thank YOU. Reading all this nitpicking is like listening to someone criticize Garfield.
“How can Garfield kick Odie off the table? He’s not bipedal! Since he doesn’t work, why does he hate Mondays? And really, I have NEVER seen a cat eat lasagna, especially with his hands!” Isn’t exaggeration part of the basic formula for humor?
I’m sorry. I definitely hold my tongue when it comes to inconsistencies in comics the vast majority of the time. However, it just so happens that the vast majority of the time, jokes involving Portal or Portal 2, games I love too much to have wronged, have some dreadful inconsistency with the game, i.e., portals suspended in midair. It’s not that this isn’t funny, it’s just that it’s not… quite… Portal.
I don’t always comment on webcomics, but when I do, I comment on those I love. Stay funny my friends.
Yeah, I was just trying to use humor to criticize the critics. I’m not really picking on you or anything.
I made a comment above too that said that maybe the physics in the Commander’s world are not exactly the same as the ones in the game, so the Portals may function differently.
Personally, I want to find the universe where you can shoot portals in anything.
“Personally, I want to find the universe where you can shoot portals in anything.”
I do apologize if my reply sounded nasty; I’ve been told that when I write, it comes out sounding meaner than I intended. The only solution I’ve found is to add smileys or LOLs to every sentence, which gets obnoxious.
I like to pretend the serpent actually made a worried expression on his face for a split second. How the hell did they get him in th- If Jared got him into the main office…..
Monsters gain free passage in all Labyrinths.
Arduin Grimoire, 3rd Ed.
Want to buy a Larger Version of jared’s Thumbs up, he looks awsome in that full pose
This is plenty funny to me hehe :) love the orange portal sucking all the water down like that. looks pretty cool. And I mean besides, any comic that features Mr. Fish is awesome by default.
Mr. Fish needs a Portal gun :P
He doesn’t need hands, he’s Mr. Fish!
This is why the next Portal should be in minecraft. Think of the possibiiiiiliteeeeeessss!!!
You play minecraft?
Are you too good for Minecraft???
Hello Kettle, this is Pot. You appear to be absorbing light!
Might I suggest that Nathan Hale from the Resistance games be brought in at some stage?
Does this remind anyone else of that lake scene from “The Iron Giant”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2FT6XCmwBo <– this scene
No worries Coela, it’s exactly as funny as you think it is. I definitely lol’d at this one
To be fair, a helmet wouldn’t have stopped him from drowning or smacking into the ceiling in the first place. :D
good thing he didnt reach terminal velocity huh, or theyd be scraping him off the roof while mr fish crys.
wait can mr fish cry?
you shoukld make the hitting the celing more clear. it wasnt till the fifth time i read till i noticed
To be fair it does have big bold red letters with him flattened out against the ceiling…
So all I can say to this is that I truly envy Jerid right now. He is having all the fun with that gun. Anyways you guys mentioned minecraft, that is the most manliest thing ever and if you guys have any ways to help me add the Humans + mod so I can make my game more manly than it already is tell me :D. I already tried doing what the instructions tell me, but there seems to be something missing.
I laughed at the name rather than the comic, then I laughed at the comic. I’m strange
I love this one, especially after my boyfriend forcing me to play Portal 2–I sympathize with Jared. It’s a hell of a lot of fun to futz with portals and dimensional space disruptions, but sometimes we get into a whole bubble full of trouble–which is when i promptly hand the controller back and pout until my problem is solved…though i don’t think that will work for jared ;) (though i’d like to see him try)
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